Another chapter down. Just so you know this is an angsty story, so the romance will not happen right away.
Enjoy tho. (; Comment and Vote please for quicker updates !
Louis sits anxiously at the desk, pen tapping against the top of the mahogany wood. It's the only sound that fills the room, aside from the shaky way he's breathing. There's a bunch of files loaded up on his desk for him to sort through, but his mind is miles away from the work he needs to do. Staring blankly ahead, he focuses on his glass of water, watching the condensation circle the rim and forming droplets that roll down. He follows each one until they create a puddle on top of his desk, probably staining the wood in a we ring. He's been told before that he needs coasters for his office, but he's been too arsed to do anything about it.
Today, Harry arrives home, which explains the nerves building up inside of Louis right now. The countdown is on to when they finally see each other again, and he is both dreadful and hesitant towards it. He thought he had until the concert at the end of the week to prepare for seeing his ex-boyfriend again, but that's not the case. A lot of hatred and resentment has built up in the three years that passed since they last spoke, and Louis is not sure he's ready to come to face with it all. Especially not sooner than expected.
Because of course the universe is not on his side. When news broke out that Harry is arriving home days before his final show, everyone started planning out the events of the week. And that included Louis participating as well, despite all the complaints he provided. His friends are excited to see Harry again, clearly not as bitter nor holding a grudge like Louis still is. The three years of silence and being completely abandoned don't seem to weigh so heavy on them. And like, that's fine. Whatever. Louis is sure that if he wasn't in love with the boy that he would get over it quick too. But that's not the case.
This is Harry, his ex boyfriend. His ex-lover. It's ridiculous that none of his friends have even stopped to consider how this reunion will be for him. He's the one who got left behind. He can't even fathom how this whole interaction is going to go down. They're either going to fight or not speak to each other at all. No in between. Louis can't see an in between because an in between means being friendly, acting like nothing happened, and he can't do that. Not when he was left with a broken heart for months.
Day one in town, and Louis is being dragged to a "Welcome Home" party hosted by Anne, Harry's mother. It's why his anxiety is at an all time high today. Why he can't get any work done. She thought it would be fun to have a get-together with all his childhood friends and be there when he arrives home for the first time in three years. Ideally, sounds like a fun surprise. Surely, Harry would enjoy getting to see his old friends and feel that sense of normalcy. But, why did Louis have to get invited? He's a part of the past that Harry clearly wants to forget, and being there just makes him feel like a fool.
Anne is sweet, and she's such a lovely woman. All the reason why Louis couldn't decline the offer in the first place, but this is not a good idea. Two exes in the same room after having an ambiguous break up can only lead to drama. She means well. Louis knows she does. And it has been three years. Maybe Anne is under a different impression on how things ended between the two of them. For all Louis' knows, she could think that everyone is on good terms - that they've been in contact this whole time since Harry left. Could be the reason why she invited Louis in the first place. She doesn't know the truth.
After spending a decent amount of time watching the water ruin the wood of the desk, Louis decides he needs to move. Or do something. Sitting and staring up until the point he needs to leave will only increase all the doubt running through his mind. He needs a distraction. Something that can draw his mind away to this inevitable reunion with his ex-boyfriend, but not anything that has to do with work. Work is the least of his worries at the moment.
Sighing, Louis turns around in his chair, rolling towards the window behind him. Up on the twentieth floor of the building, he has a fairly decent view of the city. It's why he requested this specific office. Working at a record label has its perks. One of them being in the top floors of the complex. All the tall office buildings surround his line of sight, and they always light up bright when night time falls. The big motor way is up ahead, and sometimes Louis will spend his work breaks just watching the cars that fly by. On an occasion, he'll catch an accident or a cop pulling someone over. It's his entertainment come lunch time.
Then there's the park that's right in front of the building. All greenery and trees. A little pond off to the side that people go fish at. It's a nice view to look at, especially when there are festivals and events that are held at the park. He loves watching the little children playing on the swing set or chasing one another through the fields. In all the three years of trying to get over the hole that Harry left in his heart, he can say that he has done pretty well for himself - career wise. Given that he's working for one of the best record labels in London and has a big office with a nice view of the city. He's done good. Worked hard and never slacked off. Supposedly, he can thank Harry for that. Broken heart leading to his success.
Louis' step father Mark was a big help to get his career started, too. He's always been a businessman, having a footing in the music industry with being a contract lawyer. When Louis started to dive in to music, he expressed his interest to his step father. He loved writing songs and producing solid tune, enjoyed the craft of putting together a song. Being a band helped a lot with his passion. He wrote all his songs and keyed in on how he wanted the sound to go. Performing had been fun, always gave him a burst of adrenaline that he never felt before. But it wasn't his favorite. He cared more about directing and producing rather than being the one on stage. That was always Harry's thing.
So Mark helped him. He got Louis an internship position at London Records at just sixteen years old, an opportunity that allowed Louis to build up his skill as a song writer and record producer. He didn't do much other than file paperwork and sort the mail, but he did get the chance to watch some of the big name producers work in the office. Just being in the atmosphere was amazing and life changing. He's seen many artist come through that started as a small band that has now worked their way up to topping the charts. Louis feels like he grew up with them, and now, he holds an actual position there. He completed his university courses online. Completed music production school to enhance his ability of becoming a top record producer, and now he gets to sign his name on some of the songs that are released under the label, work directly with signed artists, and discover up and coming acts.
It's the dream. Or, rather, it's the start to his dream. Mark was a big help in getting Louis this opportunity, but now it's all him. Everything he plans to achieve here on out all starts with his job at London Records.
It's quite cliche, really. The mutual dream he and Harry once had together. Harry wanted to be an artist, a performer on the stage. He's always been the one better at singing and putting on a show. His voice is amazing, the range that he has to go from high to low is exquisite. Louis cannot deny the talent that the boy has. He, on the other hand, always wanted to do the behind the scenes sort of work. He wanted to create artist and help them win awards, help them win Grammy's. He would be the record producer, the CEO of his own label company, and Harry would be his top selling artist. It was their plan. They wanted this dream together.
However, the dream was partially put on a hiatus when Harry chose to achieve the dream on his own. Without Louis. Choosing his own label company to produce his records. That wasn't the path they originally talked about.
But now Louis is here. Working at London Records. Steps away from creating his own small label. A start to his dream. Even though he won't start off signing big artist to his label, he knows he'll get a few. That's why he's doing as much as he can at London Records so his name spreads around.
When he's off at bars and local shows, he makes sure to slip performers his information as well. So they know his goal is to focus on smaller acts and working them up to becoming well-known artists. He's already got the foundation for a future office building and studio. Now, it's a matter of time when he wants to break free from his current employment.
In the midst of all his thinking, the phone on the desk chimes loudly. The sudden noise has Louis jolting in his seat, immediately turning around to see the red light flashing, an indication that he's getting a call from the reception.
"Hello, Gigi," he greets into the phone, rolling up to his desk and clicking his computer back to life. He wants to make it seem like he's been working, even if the lunch hour is now.
Gigi is Zayn's girlfriend. She is currently in fashion school but works part time as a reception at London Records. It's nice to see a familiar face every day Louis comes in to work.
"Niall is here. He has food," she announces.
Okay. Seems like work will definitely be on hold for another hour then.
"Let him in," Louis answers.
Not seconds later, the door to his office is opening. Niall steps in with a bright smile and two to-go bags in each hand. He walks up to the desk and sets one bag in front of Louis. He keeps the other near him as he sits in the plush chair across the desk, and once he gets settled, he finally looks up at Louis'. The smile slips off his face almost immediately.
"You look like shit."
Louis snorts as he rummages through the bag, humming when he notes that it's sandwich and chips for lunch. Much better than the other days he has to provide food for himself. He does enjoy the random barge-ins from his friends whenever there is food involved.
"Well, my ex-boyfriend is coming in to town today. Not the best occasion to celebrate."
"Right." Niall grabs a handful of chips and shoves them in to his mouth. "Is he still considered an ex even if it's been three years?"
Louis raises an eyebrow, reclining in his seat, sandwich and chips rest on top the bag on his lap. Suit be dammed. "I would assume so, Ni. I haven't been with anyone since him."
"You've dated."
"Okay, and how successful has that been?" Louis rolls his eyes, chuckling. He takes a bite into his sandwich.
"Fair point." Niall kicks his feet up on top the desk and resumes eating. Louis refrains from complaining about the shoe scuffs that will most likely be on the wood considering he let his drink puddle up water not too long before. He still has yet to clean that up. "Have you decided on who the extra ticket is going to?"
Louis hums.
He's definitely considered his options. It's not like there's many, but he knows quite a few people that he still remains in contact with and who Harry once had issues with whenever they were dating. Louis knows it's petty if he were to bring someone like that from their past to his concert, but he is not about making friends with the boy. If Harry can easily leave him behind and break his heart without a second thought, then Louis should be allowed to do the same.
There's Stan. One of his really good friends. Aside from hanging out with the guys and Harry all the time, Louis did have Stan. They played footie together so they saw each other quite often. There was never any physical attraction or anything remotely close to a romantic relationship, but Harry would get jealous. He does so easily. Stan is bi, and he has a very flirty personality. Sometimes that rolled over to Louis, and Harry didn't like it at all. He was someone that put a strain between his relationship with Harry without ever purposely doing anything. Nothing ever happened, but Stan's just the type of person to flirt. Even to a wall. Louis' seen him do it drunk. Even has a video of it.
Oli is another. Not even gay. Completely straight, which Louis had reminded Harry time and time again when they were dating. He gets so ridiculous whenever he's jealous. And at times, Louis always found it adorable. But when it was trying to complain about who Louis' friends were and who he got to hang out with outside their relationship, then it became a problem. He and Oli were very good friends, almost as good as he is with Niall, Liam or Zayn. They're that close. Except, the problem is that Harry wasn't close to him at all. Not even friends. It was a bitter hatred on Harry's end, and Louis would get quite annoyed when Harry would roll his eyes or mutter comments under his breath any time Louis wanted to hang out with him.
Lastly, the ultimate pettiness would be to bring Luke. Hot Luke, or so what their friends called him. He actually was a problem in their relationship because he actually did have a crush on Louis. He always made it very well known, and he didn't care that Harry was his boyfriend. Sure, he and Luke were friends, as he was with everyone else. But he always sat too close. Touched him a little bit too much. Did things that were blurring the line between friends and flirting. This is the relationship that bothered Harry to the max, and he was never shy about bringing it up. Louis could understand this one, and he always reassured that nothing was ever going to happen between them. Not in a million years because he didn't find Luke attractive at all. Just had good weed.
So, that's probably who he'll bring.
"I was thinking Luke," Louis eventually answers.
Niall cackles at the comment, and a frown spreads across Louis' features.
"Why are you laughing? I was told to bring whoever I wanted."
Niall shakes his head and tries to bury his knowing smirk into his sandwich. "Yeah, mate. But you're bringing someone Harry doesn't like at all." Instead of taking a bite, he lowers it from his lips, showing off the grin. "That only proves you still care about him."
"I do not."
"Please, you're so hung up on, Lou. And - it's fine, okay? Not judging. But you try to brush it aside, and I wish you wouldn't. It's been three years, mate, and you haven't moved on from him at all. Not even tired to."
Louis rolls his eyes to the side, leg now bouncing. "That's not true."
"What?"
"I have tried to move on."
So, admitting something like this at lunch, hours before his ex-boyfriend comes home, is not how he intended to bring the cat out the bag. Not like this. Actually, he didn't think he would ever bring it up to anyone considering it happened when he was absolutely plastered. Once. Maybe twice.
"With who?" Niall nearly jolts from the seat.
Louis tries not to grimace. "So ... " he clears his throat, still not looking at the boy. "You're going to judge me - "
"Please, I've shagged worse probably."
Louis groans. Niall is right. He's heard some of the stories.
"It was with Luke," he ends up blurting out, cringing when Niall actually does jump out his seat this time.
"No fucking way?"
Louis tosses his sandwich on top his desk and leans forward, running his fingers through his hair. "I know. I know, okay?" Groaning, Louis pulls back rubbing his temples when a headache starts to present. Gosh, he really needs a tea right now. "We fooled around just a couple times. When we went out. I don't think we've even done anything in over a year or so. Nothing too serious. Like quickies and blow jobs. No actual sex. Swear."
Niall calms down a little when he notes the defensive tone in his voice. "Mate, you don't need to convince me of anything. You're single, you know that?"
Yes, he knows that. Of course he fucking does. Been single for three years instead of in a long term relationship with his boyfriend. Trust him, he knows very well that he is alone and easily forgettable.
"Why did you come here?" Louis asks to change the subject.
"I figured you needed a friend today." Niall waves his hand between them. "Considering you're about to see your ex-boyfriend for the first time in three years. Anne said we should get there between three to four."
"Right." Louis blows out a long breath. "Yeah, I'll be there. Just have to run this song by my girl band before I head out. Should only be a couple hours."
"Im sure if you tell Anne - "
"It's fine, Ni," Louis interrupts. The last thing he wants is his friends to start pitying him. He can only handle that coming from himself right now. Everyone else, he wants them to think he's fine. Okay, at least. Not still fucking heart broken and barely hanging on a thread. "I'll be on my best behavior."
The two of them finish the rest of lunch together, and then they're going about the rest of their day. Louis has a recording session with a girl band signed to the label so he walks Niall out, waving at Gigi on the way and pressing the button. They part ways with a hug, Niall taking an elevator down while Louis takes his a couple floors up. All he has to complete for his work day is running over a new song with the band, which shouldn't be too long, and then he'll be done. All in time for when Anne wants everyone to come over. Sadly, Louis knows he won't have a good enough excuse to skip out on the planned events so he's going to have to suck it up. He can play nice.
By the time Louis is finished, he notes he's right on track with everything. He's leaving the office while everyone else is probably arriving to Anne's house. There's a couple messages already from the lads checking in to make sure he's still showing up, and he doesn't feel arsed enough to actually answer. They'll know once he shows up. That should be a good enough answer. His nerves are already on over drive, and he really doesn't want to intensify it by talking to the guys. They'll somehow make it worse, Louis knows this.
Driving through London is nice. Louis doesn't really get to leave downtown much since his office and apartment complex is located there. It's on a rare occasion when he gets to travel to the suburban area, visiting the neighborhoods. He still visits his childhood home every so often, but it's been more scarce as the years pass. It's been easier for his family to visit him, given that he's always swamped with work and being in the studio with artist. And, his childhood home is not too far from Harry's, and that's always been such a sore area for him to revisit. Every time he passes through the front gate of the neighborhood, he would think back to the time he and Harry would sneak out in the middle of the night and figure out how to bypass the guards without getting caught.
Or the park. Gosh, the park holds so many memories. It's only a few streets down from their homes. The park is where they first kissed. Where they first whispered under the moonlight about how much they liked each other. It's also where their relationship sort of ended. These streets that he's driving down, Louis knows them all too well. Has walked down them, driven down them, all with Harry there by his side.
When Louis approaches the neighborhood, he sees a swarm of fans outside the fences and gates. Security is out there trying to take control of the crowd, but the fans are screaming and holding up their signs for Harry Styles. It's quite ridiculous, Louis thinks as he drives by, staring at the way one girl is near crying on the ground. He's never seen anything like this. People so obsessed with a boy that was once his. Now, Harry seems to be everyone's - the worlds. A person he no longer recognizes. A point in time, no body even knew who Harry Styles was. He was Louis' little secret, kept private and tucked away from the reality of being famous. He's surely blasted in the star light now, having fans that are willing to follow him around and track where his childhood home is.
Once navigating through the streets, Louis is finally pulling up along the kerb to Anne's home. He spots a few vehicles that he recognizes easily, and he knows he's probably the final guest to arrive. Taking a few minutes to himself, Louis remains in the car, steadying his breathing patterns and staring at the front door of the house. It's like he's expecting Harry to walk out at any moment, laughing and smiling, pretending like the last three years never happened. He wishes he could erase it all, erase the pain and heart break that still weighs heavy on him. But he can't. There's no telling how today will go or how Harry will look, but he's going to do his best. He'll do it for his friends, and he'll do it for Anne. He's always adored her.
Louis finally walks up to the front door once the moment passes. The sooner he gets inside, the sooner all of this can be over. He hasn't seen Gemma since the break up, and he's a bit nervous for how that reunion will go. Gemma has always been a protective older sister to Harry, especially when she found out the two of them were dating. They had a good relationship in the past, but Gemma was never shy to bite her tongue or put Louis in his place when needed. They were only a year apart so Louis understood Gemma's protective side to her younger brother dating someone just as old as she is.
The door opens not moments later to Louis' knocking, and he's suddenly hit with all the memories that he's ever shared inside this household. It looks the same. The wall paper. The smell. Even Anne. Beautiful as ever. Almost an exact replica to the boy he fell in love with. It's overwhelming in a sense, how familiar everything is. It's like walking into the past, just an eighteen year old boy coming over to hang out with his boyfriend. The last time Louis stood here, he was told Harry left for tour. The first time he stood here, he was only just a kid, looking for another little boy to play at the park with.
"Louis!"
Blinking, he focuses at Anne, not realizing that he's gone off in his own little world. He smiles sweetly, stepping inside the foyer and pulling her into a hug. It's been years since he got to hug her. He does miss it.
"I'm happy you made it." Pulling back, Anne takes a good look at him, eyes brightening. "You look amazing."
Louis blushes. "I could say the same. Still young as ever."
"Oh, hush." Anne smiles and leads Louis towards the living room. "You're just in time. The group is about to get a game started. We still have a few minutes until he arrives."
Louis nods his head and stops once entering the main room. All eyes turn towards him at his approach, and he tries not to let the awkwardness consume him. Gemma is the first pair of eyes he catches, and he quickly has to look away, too scared what emotion he might find. Stuffing his hands into his pants pockets, he walks closer, searching for an empty spot near the more friendly faces of his friends. They're all gathered on the couches around the coffee table, a deck of cards splayed out and platter of snacks. Liam and Sophia, Gigi and Zayn, and Niall and Hailee, all his and Harry's friends. All here to see the same boy that left them three years ago.
Fuck. This is going to be a lot harder than Louis expected.
The distraction of playing card games in the mean time is quite helpful. The tension that had built up between him and Gemma loosened, and now he's not so stiff when looking at her. They're laughing and having fun together, like any other time the group of them get together. Gemma easily slots herself back in to it all. She never really hung around them in the past, but any time they did something at this house, she wasn't shy to join. It's crazy how everything just slots back in to place, as if nothing had changed. As if they're the same people that they were three years ago. The only thing missing is Harry - goofy, curly headed Harry. His ex-boyfriend. Their best friend. Gemma's younger brother.
It feels good to laugh and feel light with breathing, but Louis knows the inevitable is coming. The card game is temporary. Getting lost in the wins and losses, trash talking and acting as if it's just another day for them all wain weak when the door bell goes off. The echo of the ring is loud, and everyone halts in their spot when its heard. Gemma shoots up from the couch, and she walks over to join Anne and Robin as they exit the kitchen. The three disappear into the foyer, and then all eyes are shifting over to Louis, as if expecting some sort of dramatic reaction to come from him.
He swallows. Chokes a little bit on his breath. Not entirely sure how he's supposed to react right now. He feels naked and bare, like the spotlight is now shining down on him. Harry is just steps away. His scent is already infiltrating the house - a mixture of vanilla and flowers, so earthy and sweet. Louis diverts his eyes to the ground, staring at the shoe that is bouncing underneath his leg. He thinks he hears someone talking to him, probably checkin in to see if he's fine. But no, that's not what he's listening to.
What he hears is a deep grumble, a slow draw of a voice that he's all too familiar with. The voice gets closer and closer, and then there is a sea of people chattering. He's here. Harry. Right there in front of him. Louis can see his worn out boots in his line of vision, but he refuses to look up. Everything is just white noise all around, static and ringing in between his ears.
Someone nudges his shoulder, and Louis' head suddenly jerks up.
"Hey, guys. I missed you all so much."
That's him. That's Harry speaking. Looking directly at him.
Louis stays seated as everyone from the couch stands to properly greet him. Pulling him to a hug, kissing the side of his face. They all speak to Harry like they miss him, like all the hatred and bitterness they grew over the years didn't exist. It's a mask that had been put on, either for Louis or for Harry. At this point, he doesn't even know what of his friends is true and what is fake. He thought all of them despised Harry. Thought they could never forgive him for what he did. Yet, here they are. Laughing with him as if there is no resentment.
After everyone gets their rounds of hugging Harry, his attention is back to Louis. The greenness of his eyes are so wide and bright, a bit hopeful and tired. He looks at Louis still like he hung the stars and the moon, like he's the only person he ever wants to look. It's an intense stare, one that used to bring on butterflies to Louis' stomach. Now it makes him feel nauseous. He has to look away. He finds Liam instead, and the boy is already mouthing at him to play nice.
Fine. He can do that. Whatever.
Louis looks up at Harry again and smiles weakly.
"Hi, Lou," Harry says softly to him, fingers curling tight around his bag.
And, well, Louis ends up not saying anything in response. The smile is the best he can do because he's pretty sure if he were to try and speak right now, all that would come out is a choked sob.
It's been three years, and finally - finally Louis is hearing Harry's voice again as if it's the first time.
{ How anxious did that make you feel?
Lol, so Harry and Louis finally see each other after three years.... Yikes. }