I rush into the shower feeling victimized all over again. I turn the water on hot and get in while it's freezing. I soap the loofa and begin scrubbing myself raw to get the feeling off of me. I don't know how long it takes before I feel clean enough to leave the shower and crawl into bed. I wrap my naked body in a towel under the blanket and weep. I lay there for hours wondering what I did in life to deserve this sadness and pain. I get a text from Sonny around 4, "hey doll, I got all paperwork on lock here. Should be around for dinner. What do you want me to pick up?" I drop the phone back down and continue in my self wallowing. Another 2 hours or so go by and I get another text, "everything okay over there 😔?"
The sight of Sonny using an emoji makes me smile and I unlock the phone the respond, "sorry, not really feeling myself today. Get whatever you like 😘." I send back to him, hopefully, the kiss emoji I sent back will keep him from worrying about me.
"Ok. Be there soon." He responds instantly and I place my phone back down.
Not too long later I hear the handle jingle and I jolt up in a panic. What if Charles is trying to get in. It continues to jiggle and I decide to see if Sonny still hid a gun under the mattress. To my surprise, it's there and I lift it out of the mattress and towards the door. The handle still jiggles and I try to keep my hands from shaking, "Addison?" Sonny's voice comes through the cracks as he knocks gently. I rush over to the door and open it quickly. Once he sees me his eyes must register my panic and I'm already throwing myself into his arms, "hey, hey. What's going on?" He hugs me in return rubbing at my back.
"Sorry! I was just scared." I mutter, trying to hold back the tears.
"You don't have to be sorry, doll. Hey, look at me." He says softly and my eyes find his, "you never have to be sorry for being afraid. Okay?" He asks. I nod back, letting the tears drop and he moves to usher me back inside the room. As we start walking in he stops and grabs a hold of the wrist of the hand that is holding the gun, "if your gonna carry that thing around, you'll need a permit." He smirks, moving my fingers off the handle and taking it into his hands.
"I'm so--" I go to say but he eyes me cautiously. I sigh and instead say, "I just wanted to feel safe since I didn't know who it was."
"Well good thing our date tomorrow is the shooting range." He smiles.
"It is?" I question back.
He nods, "you should know how to protect yourself Addison, and I'm going to teach you how to shoot a gun."
I semi-smile, a bit relieved to know I'll soon know how to properly handle a gun but a bit worried about it, "thanks." I return, leaning up to kiss him on the cheek.
He looks over the gun to make sure it's still locked or whatever and places it back under the mattress, "so, I got us some Chinese." He goes back out of the room to get the bag of food.
"You and your Chinese." I roll my eyes, wiping at my nose with my arm.
He chuckles and places it on the bedside table, "why don't you tell me what's going on, huh?"
"What do you mean?" I ask him.
He hands over a bag of egg rolls and I open it, "well you said you weren't feeling like yourself and then when I come back to see you, you have a gun in your hand and your beautiful eyes are red and puffy." He runs a finger down my cheek, "so talk to me."
I sigh, not sure I want to tell him about Charles. He hands over a napkin and crawls into the bed with me, already eating out of a to-go container, "after you left, Charles came over to me and.." I think of the proper word to say it. All the time Sonny eyes me with wonder sucking up a noodle, "and he propositioned me."
"He what?" He asks, a bit hardly not sure what I mean.
"He said he could use somebody like me on his team and then grabbed my ass." I blatantly spill it, wanting him to know why I broke down like this.
"He did what?!" Sonny is standing now, eyeing me with worry and anger.
"He groped my ass." I reiterate.
Sonny shakes his head and goes to grab his phone, "Addison, he sexually assaulted you. You need to come to the station and make a statement."
"Sonny, no. Please listen!" I plead with him to stop doing whatever it is he's doing. He gives me a glare and waits to hear what I have to say, "I'm not going to press charges against New York's Governor. Sure, he's a scumbag but one ass grab isn't going to do anything against him.
He puffs out his chest with air, "but I will." He throws his phone down and moves to the door.
"Sonny!" I call to him but he doesn't turn around. He gets out the door and turns to the left. I quickly get to the door right behind him and before he can leave my sight I shout out, "Dominick Carisi Jr!" He stops and looks at me and I quickly walk to him, "please, come back and talk with me. Don't do anything stupid!" I plead.
"He can't do that, Addison." He says again, still angry and with determination.
"Please, he can get you fired in a second." I plead, "don't say anything to him." I try to talk sense to him, "I told you because I wanted to talk to you, please, let me talk to you."
He exhales slowly and thinks about it. I can still feel how tense he is as my arms are wrapped around his arms, "fine, we'll go talk." He pushes a strand of hair away from my face, "for now." And we both go back to the room.
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