My hands trembled
Flitting across
The wrinkled paper
Someone pushed into my fist,
The writing almost illegible;
My surroundings dissolve
Her voice fills my ears;
"Dear Eva,
My dear daughter.
Grown up so soon!
It seems so close
When I was still young
With you on my hip
Your brother in his pram
While I made your food
You'd always compete
For the loudest cries
Making a mess
Making me laugh
Exhausted, but happy I was.
Then soon you were crawling,
Walking, running
In a hurry
Towards your later years;
Off to college,
Away, away from me.
I suppose
In college
You were too busy
For a letter
And you must have had
So much on your mind
Planning the wedding
(What was his name again?)
You simply forgot
Little ol' me,
And I guess
The little ones
(I know how crazy they can be)
Didn't stop running around
For you to get a picture.
But I did wish
To see my only daughter
One last time.
I write this
With you filling my mind.
But I guess
Karma found me in the end.
I remember my mother's tears
When I left
For good.
I didn't think...
It doesn't matter now.
Dear Eva,
Please know I never would
Hold anything against you
But if you do find some time
Come see me, if you can.
Take care, daughter
Be well
And good luck."
Time seemed to slow down
The whispers around me
Loud once again
The hands patting my shoulder
The thin-lipped smiles
I receive
Everything seems surreal
I hardly hear
The words spoken to me;
I'm sorry for your loss..
As I near my mother
To see her
One last time.
xx