This morning I didn't really need an annoying buzzing alarm to wake me up. I couldn't help but be awake all night. I'm so lost in my thoughts. These past couple of days seem like a dream. Since when is my life interesting?
Once Mitchie dropped me off last night, I haven't stopped thinking through this whole situation. Mitchie says she'll leave me alone in school, but would also have to avoid me and pretend that I don't exist for her precious "reputation." I don't feel like that is a good enough excuse. I'd rather be bothered by her all day than to just be ignored and nonexistent. This is a no win-win situation for me.
I sigh and roll over on my small twin bed. I see the bright, green digital numbers on my alarm clock. 5:30 AM. Ugh. Why do I do this to myself. I'm going to look like a zombie at school today. Even more of a reason for Mitchie to avoid me.
I honestly don't think I should bury myself deeper into this with her. It's moving too fast for my liking and too much out of my comfort zone. I don't want to get hurt...
I just have a bad idea about all of this. I feel my heart dropping with the thought of telling Mitchie this. I know she'll protest. But I can't let this go further. I can't let myself lose sight of school either. I want to go to college. I want to get out of this house and live in a dorm. Make new friends. Start anew. I can't do that with Mitchie being the most daring yet confusing distraction in front of me. I need to talk to her. I need to end this.
There goes the alarm. It's crazy how quick minutes go by while being all cuddled up and warm in bed. I really don't want to get up and face this day.
After a huge stretch and an obnoxiously loud yawn I get up and put together the most convenient outfit I see. A simple black t-shirt, a navy zip-up sweater, black leggings and a pair of black converse. After getting dressed and looking in the mirror, I can't help but laugh at myself. I legit look like I just got back from a drug binge. Oh well. Maybe some sunshine outside will wake me up. Or melt me. Nah I'm kidding.
As I walk out the door I see Mitchie staring at me from her car window. "Hey Russo, you look like shit. How about we ditch today?"
Maybe this is a good idea. If we're alone then maybe I can tell her how I'm feeling about us being a "thing" and how we really can't be.