Chapter 16
Ian's P.O.V
I picked up my phone and looked at Carmen's message.
I'm in the back
As I climbed out of bed and walked down the hall I thought about yet another mistake I was about to make. I was about to fuck Carmen. Again. As stupid as it was I needed to. She was a weakness. A weakness that I could get rid of, but just didn't want to.
Once I reached the back door I let her in quickly looking from side to side. I needed to make sure nobody saw. Carmen wasted no time. The minute she stepped in the house she planted small kisses on my neck while letting out quiet moans. I led her upstairs quick as possible without even shutting the back door first.
Her hands never left my body as we moved throughout the house to my bedroom. My mind was blank nothing going through it. It was as if it had been cleared the minute her hands had touched my body.
I shut the bedroom door behind me and let Carmen fall on the bed. She threw her sweats and T-shirt to the floor exposing her crimson and cream lingerie. I licked my lips and ripped the set off of her and threw it to the floor. I begin climbing on top of her as she rubbed her hands down my already bare chest.
"I want you" she whispered in my ear. The three words brought me back to the day at the mall when I first met Carmen. The sexual look in her eyes and the flow of the words that came out of her mouth. It was as if nothing had changed. It had been a month and it was like nothing had changed at all from that night.
I felt her hands now down my shorts lightly gripping my dick. Just as I was about to pull them off the door opened and my head shot towards it.
Zen's dull face appeared behind the door with nothing but hurt in her eyes sending a shower of guilt down my skull. A single tear rolled down her cheek before she bolted out the door. Carmen pushed me off of her with all her force and threw on one of my T-shirts before running after her. I stood to my feet and followed
Zen's P.O.V
Expect the unexpected they say. As soon as I opened the door the sight before me tore me apart. Ian straddling Carmen and Carmen's dirty ass hands down his pants. As I ran down the stairs and out the back door the hot tears stained my face.
"Zen!" two familiar voices called my name. Over and over again.
I kept running ignoring them. I couldn't be here. I couldn't stand there. A pair of strong hands grabbed my arm and pulled me toward them. I looked up at Ian's face. The face I now hated. He gripped my arm and looked dead into my eyes.
"Wait, Zen just li-"
"FUCK YOU" I yelled connecting my hand with his face. I felt my own hand sting from the slap I had just given him. More tears came from my eyes and blurred my vision.
"How could you?" I yelled again. "You are a dumb piece of shit, I fucking hate you!" I continued yelling letting words fly out of my mouth before my mind could react. I couldn't stand the feel of his hand on mine. I snatched away and looked to the right of him.
Carmen stood at his side looking guiltier than I had ever seen her before. False tears coming from her eyes. She had no feelings. A person with feelings wouldn't have done this to anyone. A girl that I used to think was my best friend did this shit to me. The only person that I truly thought was loyal was a backstabbing snake.
"Zen Cal-" she spoke in a whisper. I sent a punch her way and successfully connected with her jaw before she could finish her sentence. She fell to the ground with blood dripping from her mouth. She didn't even deserve to speak.
I took long angry strides to my car without looking back to take in the results of the damage I had just caused. Again I heard heavy foot steps coming my way. Soon Ian caught up with me and blocked me from getting in my car.
"Zen j-just listen to me f-for one second." he stuttered. I knew he didn't deserve an explanation, I shouldn't listen to him, but what else could I do? I stood still with my arms crossed around my chest and my tear filled eyes looking in the distance as he begin to speak.
"Fuck her Zen, you were always the one I wanted. All the stuff I've said before this was not a fucking lie. It was all the truth. I really like you, I always did from that first night. I just... I don't know what got over me. I wanted to tell you I just fucked up... I fucked up bad." He continued to stutter.
His words were lies. Everything was a lie. "Bullshit Ian, every thing was a lie" I said beating his chest with my balled up fists "I really thought you were fucking different. I really liked you, but you are fucking stupid just like everyone else" I yelled.
"Zen I was dumb, it was stupid" he said now yelling. I could hear the rising anger in his voice. It only made me more angry. He didn't have a got damn reason to be mad.
"Tell me... how long? How long have y'all been doing this?"
This was my last question. I couldn't take anymore lies after this. As cliche as I was being That's what came out that's what I wanted to know. Somehow it would make a difference.
"A month" he mumbled with his head down. That was all I needed to hear it and it set me off. I tried to pushed Ian out of my way with everything I had in me, but he wouldn't budge.
"MOVE OUT OF MY FUCKING WAY" I yelled as clearly as I could. He still wouldn't move. As hurt as I was I was angry, angrier than I have ever been. I wanted nothing more, but to punch the shit out of Ian and leave him lying on the street. His eyes pierced into my mine, and he finally moved, and I wasted no time and got in my car slamming the door behind me.
I started my car and drove past Ian in full speed nearly running over his feet. It was all starting to come together. I never knew how stupid I could be. I should've saw the signs a long time ago. The phone call and everything made sense now.
I drove down the long road not knowing where I was going I just needed to get away and think. The thought of all the lies that were told to me by the people I was the most close to was hurtful.
The thought of his hands on her, the thought of them touching, the thought of them in the same bed kissing, and lord knows what else was what I hated most. I should've known better than to trust again in the first place. The hate that was built up in my system caused more tears of hate and betral to fall from my eyes.
I continued to drive past gas stations and everything else. It was almost three in the morning and I had no idea where to go. After a while of thinking I made a sharp U-turn and headed towards the only place that I thought I should be.
I parked on the side of the rode and walked up the path of the cemetery. It being damn near four in the morning now was scary, but I needed to talk to my mama.
As I reached her grave stone I knelled down next to it and wept silent tears right there in the dirt. It's been too much on my heart to go through all these things. I needed my mama. I needed her to hold me like she did when I was a little girl and tell me everything was going to be okay.
In reality nothing was okay. My sister was a drug addict. My daddy doesn't give a shit about me, my best friend back stabbed me, My ex-boyfriend cheated on me and out of all of that losing my mother was ten times worst than all of those things combined.
"Mama?" I finally begin to speak. It felt like I was talking to her again. Saying her name and almost feeling her soothing presence.
"I miss you so much. You've almost been gone for a whole six months now and it's tearing me apart." I admit to her. I take deep breaths and try to think of more words to say. I gulped before continuing.
"You remember Carmen? The one you said was no good. Yeah, today I found out she was the girl you always thought she was. I should have listened to you mama. You always knew what was right." My mama never did like Carmen she would always say she was 'no good' she never elaborated, but nevertheless she excpeted her.
I sighed. This was not getting me anywhere, but in more pain. I caressed the side of the ice cold stone and begin to say my goodbyes "I love you mama, bye" I said getting up from my position and started back to the car.
I sat in the car for what seemed like hours when in reality it was only a few minutes, crying. I looked around the car for some tissues, but came up empty. Instead I found a few thousand dollars in Dawn's glove compartment. I decided to not ask questions about the money and just put it to use.
I drove a few more miles till I found a hotel that looked decent enough. I walked in finding it to be fancy as hell. At the front desk there was an old men who looked to be in about his fifties. He looked too consumed in a book to notice me standing in front of him.
I cleared my throat gaining his attention. "How may I help you?" I gave him a weak smile. "May I have a room for the night please?"
"Yes ma'am. Can I see some ID?" I took out a bag that I had found in the car with Dawn's ID in it. People always said we looked almost exactly alike. I just hoped it was true in this case. He examined the card carefully, before sliding it back to me. "Will that be cash or card?" he continued typing information in the computer and ignored his suspicions.
"Cash" I said with the same weak smile as before. I handed over a few hundreds and "Would you like the suite?" This wasn't my money and I needed to forget about everything tonight so why not.
I nodded and he handed over the room key to a room on the very top floor. I took all the little things I had and went quietly to the elevator and up to my room. The room wasn't just what I needed. It was exactly what I needed a huge plasma screen and beautiful decor in the main room.
In the adjoined bedroom there was a queen sized bed and a TV a tad bit smaller than the first. I peeled off my sweats and fell on the bed. After today I had no idea how things would go.
I just wanted everything to slow down. I just don't understand why I deserve all this hurt. I picked up my phone from out of the bag. It had been on silent all night. I looked at it the time now which was 4:45AM and I was beyond tired. I had multiple missed calls and text messages from Ian. He even sent me a picture of Carmen's messed up jaw and apparently black eye which I rolled my eyes at.
I deleted all the messages and deleted both their numbers. I was done with them both I had no intentions on talking to neither one of them anymore. They wanted each other so bad. They can have each other. I'd be damned if I gave a shit what their lives ended up as now.
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Ring the Alarm - Beyonce and
The Way That I Love - Ashanti (Both old, but I love them)
Dedications to QueenTete thanks so much for all the love!
Thanks everyone else to! Keep voting and reading. Predictions? What do you think will happen now that Zen has cut both Carmen and Ian out of her life?