Faith's POV
Dawn...
A cold shiver of fear runs through my body at the thought that Dawn is sitting at home hating me.
I can't stand this. Every instinctive feeling in me is telling me to go find Dawn and get her to forgive me somehow. But I know that doing that is only going to make things worse instead of better. I'm sure that Buffy is keeping a close eye on Dawn since the argument we had last night. If I went to see Dawn, I just know that Buffy and I would come to blows over my being there. And that would cause more problems then it would solve them. The last thing that I want to do is cause Dawn more problems. I've already done enough to hurt Dawn by not being honest with her about why I was spending time with her at first.
It didn't stay that way though. Buffy might've come to me and asked me to watch out for Dawn, but that's not why I kept coming back to Slash to have fun with her. I kept doing things with Dawn because she's a great person. She's such a free spirit and we have so much fun together. That's why I did things with her. That's why I fell in love with her. I need to find some time alone with her so I can tell her that. So I can let her know that no matter what the reason is that we found each other, we found each other. I have to tell her that... but I can't. Not yet. Not without hurting her.
I get up from my couch and pace back and forth.
Dawn doesn't deserve to be hurt by me or anyone else. She deserves to be loved and cherished for the beautiful person that she is. It just kills me to think that I did something to make her think that I felt otherwise. All I can do is hope that she'll give me the chance to show her that it's not like that. I loved every second that I spent with her and I don't want to lose that, or her.
Stopping in the middle of my living room, I close my eyes and take a long, deep breath.
The even bigger problem is going to be Buffy though. Even if I can somehow manage to fix things with Dawn and get back what we have, B knows about us now. She is NOT going to be happy that I'm dating her sister. Especially with the history between the two of us. That one night Buffy and I spent together, like most things in my life, has come back to bite me in the ass. And not in the fun way either. After all this time, I still regret that night. It changed things between us and things just got worse from there.
Since that night, things have been different between B and I. The friendship that we had before pretty much dried up over night and left us with nothing more than barely acknowledged co-workers. We lost that connection we had, and I didn't have much else to begin with. Knowing that makes me ashamed to think that it drove me to make some really stupid decisions that eventually left me in a coma for eight months until I woke up and wound up with 3 consecutive life sentences in prison. Thank god for Angel and the fact that he took over Wolfram and Hart after I broke out to save him. Otherwise I don't know where I'd be today. Probably dead, or worse.
That's all in the past now though. What matters is the future and what Buffy's going to do to me if I can't make things right with Dawn. Or worse, what she'll do to me if I can make things right with Dawn and we start dating again. It's kind've a lose/lose situation for B. All I can hope for is that she wants Dawn to be happy enough to let Dawn decide who makes her happy. I just hope that leaving that rose on Dawn's nightstand with a note wasn't taking things too far. It could put Buffy in more or less a stabbing mood. The last time she was in a stabbing mood, I ended up with a permanent scar along my stomach. I'm not exactly anxious for a repeat performance.
There's a knock on my front door and after waiting for another knock, I head for the door and open it. On the other side, is Buffy standing there with a not too happy look on her face.
Speaking of stabbing moods...
"Come to slice me open again B?"
Her unhappy expression doesn't even falter at my joke of a question.
"Well, if you have a big knife handy, I can't say I'd have to think about it much."
That's all kinds of encouraging.
"Let's not and say we did why don't we?"
Again her expression doesn't change.
"Fine, but I'd rather not have this conversation out in the hall. Are you going to let me in or not?"
This should be fun.
My only answer to that is to step back from the doorway to give her the chance to enter. She takes it. B walks into my place to the middle of the main hall before turning back and facing me. I close the door and join her in the middle. Her arms are crossed over her chest and she has that same unhappy look on her face.
"I'm here on business."
Gee, really?
"I never would've guessed."
"I wanted you and I to get a few things straightened out from last night."
It's not hard to figure out which parts. But I hope she's not over here to interfere again.
"Does Dawn know you're here? Because there's no way I'm saying a single word unless she's in on it."
There's a short pause in the conversation before she responds.
"She knows I'm here. I'll be filling her in on the details when I get home."
I guess it's all right to talk then. Buffy isn't stupid enough to lie to Dawn about our conversation after everything that's just happened.
"Okay..."
Silence flows through the room for a few moments before I break it.
"So where did you want to start?"
"Well first of all... I'm not in love with you."
I didn't expect her to start there, but okay.
"Good to know."
"I'm not in love with you, I don't have feelings for you and I definitely don't want to sleep with you in any sense of that word."
That's not exactly news.
"That's fine with me."
"I just wanted to make sure that things between you and me were clear before anything else. I'm not into women that way."
"Well then just so you know, I am into women that way but those thoughts don't extend to you. I'm not in love with you either, I don't have feelings for you either and I don't want to sleep with you in any sense of that word either."
Another stretch of silence follows our statements, only Buffy is the one to break it this time.
"I guess that just leaves Dawn then."
More silence.
"How is she by the way? Since I have the opportunity to ask."
Her eyes narrow ever so slightly at my question.
"Dawn is taking some time for herself right now. After everything that's happened, she needs time to do some soul searching and figure things out."
Oh... that doesn't really tell me what I want to know, or what I want to hear.
"And just so we're clear, I expect you to respect that or you may find that the next time we meet I'll be in a stabbing mood."
My own arms cross my chest as we stare at each other.
"Duly noted."
"To avoid any number of sharp and pointy situations though, I thought it'd be a good idea if we set up some ground rules about how things are going to work. You okay with that?"
"Sure..."
"First off, Dawn is going to be making this decision on her own. Neither you, nor anyone else, including me will be giving her any advice unless she asks for it upfront. If you try to contact her or leave little mementos like you did with that rose, the thorns of a rose will be the least of your worries. Is that clear?"
"Crystal."
She shifts her weight and takes a deep breath before continuing.
"Secondly, I thought we should be clear about what happens if and when she makes the decision. Much like I expect you to respect her personal space while she makes this decision, I also expect that if Dawn decides that she can't stand the sight of you and wants nothing to do with you, you'll respect that as well and let her go."
As much as I know that would hurt...
"I will."
"Good... then the flip side of that is that if she decides that she wants to be with you, I will respect that, whether I agree with it or not. But I will not be giving you any kind of special treatment just because we've become friends and we work together. In fact, no matter what decision Dawn makes, I don't expect to be anything resembling friendly towards you for at least a while, if not forever."
"That, I can live with."
B's eyes narrow even more at me for a moment. We keep looking at each other as the silence in the room stretches a while.
"So we're clear then?"
Yup...
"I'd say so."
"All right then, I'm going to go."
"Aww, you don't want to stay for cookie dough and ice cream so we can braid each other's hair?"
She rolls her eyes at me before turning towards the door. I follow her out but she stops one last time in the doorway and faces me.
"Oh, and I think this goes without saying. But if she does choose to be with you, and you hurt her, I will reopen the scar on your stomach."
Putting my hand on the door, I look her right in the eyes for what I'm about to say.
"Then I guess I don't have anything to worry about, because unless I'm possessed by a demon or driven insane by some kind of crazy making demon, I don't plan on doing anything to hurt her... ever."
Buffy stares me right in the eyes for a least 30 seconds until I see what almost looks like a smile on her face. She covers it up quickly though with a cough.
"Well then... see ya."
With that, she turns into the hall and leaves.
"Yeah... see ya."
I turn back into my apartment and close the door behind me, going back towards the couch.
Well,at least Dawn hasn't completely given up on us. We might actually have a chance. That's something worth hoping for. Not to mention, B and I seem to have achieved some sort of middle ground when it comes to her little sister and the woman I love. I guess things are looking up.