Silently Keely stood stock still, her breathing rough and audible even in the quiet morning.
Fiddling with the strap of her bag that she had packed, she didn’t know what to do. Half of her wanted to sprint into the house, find her dad and then hug him. The other half wanted her to head in the complete opposite direction.
Confliction, confliction; why was it always confliction with her these days?
It was early in the morning; the cab she’d called from the airport was long gone, leaving her standing blankly in front of her dad’s house.
The place still looked exactly as it had every other time she’d seen it at four in the morning when she’d been unable to sleep or came home late. The trees around the farmhouse swaying gently, the moon giving a little light to her path and the barn from behind the house reflecting the light with the bright tin roof; it was the same.
In fact it was almost eerie that it could look the exact way she left it, down to her dad’s old truck parked in front of the house. How could this place be the way she’d left it, frozen in time, when she felt like it had been years? It felt like she was a different person.
She was a different person now, but oddly the same as well.
When she’d left here she’d been running, when she came back she was running too.
Trying to control the panic that was beginning to bubble in her stomach, she tightened her grip on her guitar case and stepped forward, pushing open the front door with the familiar squeak.
As she stepped into the house, the panic grew, becoming a firm ball in her throat, but she couldn’t get rid of it as she gulped, instead feeling like she was close to chocking. Kicking off her sneakers from the show, she moved further in, her wide eyes taking in everything. Even the way the raggedly old blanket was slung over the arm of the couch was the same, and it just worsened her panic.
There was not a sound in the house to indicate that anyone was awake, so she kept moving. Once in the kitchen she couldn’t help but notice the sugar container she and father waged a silent battle over was in the middle of the island. Before she would have instantly moved it back beside the coffee maker, but now she crept past, hoping to keep her feet muffled against the flooring. The bills were stacked on the counter, the photos in their same places on the walls, work gloves thrown carelessly on the table, a flannel jacket flung over the back of a chair.
It was almost comforting that nothing had changed, that everything was just the way she’d left it. But it was mostly terrifying for her.
Closing her eyes against the sight, she moved past down to the hall that would lead to the bedrooms. For a moment she paused outside of her closed bedroom door, but quickly turned away, heading deeper into the dark house thrown into shadows.
Tiptoeing closely to the door at the end of the hall that was left ajar, she pushed it forward with an awkward elbow, peeking her head inside. The light that the moon gave off was slanting through the window in an odd silvery glow, but it was enough for her to see the outline of the body covered in the blanket. The door gave a slight creak when she accidently knocked it further open with her arm.
Wincing, she watched as her father’s outline gave a grunt before rolling over in the other direction.
Heaving a sigh of relief she retreated back to her dark oak door.
Clenching her jaw Keely just shoved it open, it swinging open without a sigh. For a moment she glanced about, finding all her old concert posters were in place and the photos she’d left framed with a slight film of dust on everything in the room. But when she glanced to the wall, she saw empty shelves that had once been filled with records as she’d been getting them sent to her throughout the tour.
Just the sight made a queasy feeling protest in the pit of her stomach. Turning her gaze away, she let her bag hit the ground with a loud thump, pulling her guitar onto her bed before following it up.
Lying on her back with her eyes staring at the ceiling, she drew in a deep breath, but only succeeded in making her cough at the dusty air she dragged over her raw throat. Tears pricking the side of her eyes, she brought her gaze back to the roof after the convulsion.
Considering she opened her mouth, saying one word that came out almost like a question off her lips. “Home,” she whispered, meaning it to come out a regular volume, maybe to push away the lonesome darkness as best as she could. But it was barely audible, her voice worn out and shrivelled from the tour not to mention her shouting match just a few hours before.
At the thought of Seth’s desperate gold eyes, she felt the tears well up in her eyes, but this time from the simple ache that fell over her chest instantly.
Dragging in ragged teary breaths, she wiped away the tears that began to fall ceaselessly from her eyes alone in the darkness with her palms, but there was nothing she could do. Gasping as the tears spread, she rolled over, leaning her head against the plain black guitar case, resting her hand on top of it as she huddled closely, her body curving against it.
And with tears still falling from her eyes, she stared at the case through the sheen of tears, her throat and heart aching agonizingly in time.
But thankfully exhaustion started taking over, the past two days spent without sleep not to mention her only three hour sleep pattern a night for the past two months was catching up to her. With tears flooding from her eyes and pooling on the blanket that she didn’t bother to pull over herself, she drifted off into a deep sleep.
Blinking herself awake, Keely stared into the black case confusedly.
Stretching her muscles that were tight and sore from huddling in a ball cuddled against a hard guitar case, she let her eyes travel around her.
Blankly she just stared around at the familiar room around her, running her hands over her eyes as if it would get rid of the image. Where was the blank hotel room that she was supposed to be waking up in? Why wasn’t there a door to her left that would take her to Colton’s hotel room and if she chose to pass through his, then into Seth’s?
When the throbbing started up behind her temples, she brought her hands up to them, falling back against the pillows with a groan.
And only when the pain shot through her throat did the events fall back into her mind.
Swallowing she covered her eyes with her hands, breathing in and out in short gasps as tears wanted to rebel against her once again.
Biting down on her lip to a painful degree, she rubbed her trembling hands briskly over her face.
I love you.
Just the thought of those words made her want to curl back in, letting herself sink back into the peaceful oblivion of sleep where none of this existed.
But she couldn’t even ponder the words deeply nor slip back into sleep because it was only then that sharp hunger pangs awoke in her stomach jarring her to the notion that she couldn’t remember the exact last time she’d ate anything. And in response her mouth opened, drawing in a sharp breath, bringing the realization that her mouth felt like sandpaper in its state of dryness.
Grimacing, she swung her legs around of the bed, finally breaking contact with her guitar. With a frown she realized she hadn’t even bothered to change out of the concert clothes she’d been wearing since the show, judging from the light shining in through the window, she’d been wearing them quite a while.
Picking at the hem of her loose white shirt and her shorts, she couldn’t help but think that they’d been soaked in sweat from her concert not to mention gone through her coughing up blood, so there had to be some speckles still on her clothes. And then she’d gone on a plane with them on plus slept in them. The poor clothes were taking a beating.
But instead of changing, she pushed up from her bed, frowning slightly when her legs shook slightly at the sudden pressure. There was no waiting around for her to get changed, her mouth felt like she’d been trudging through the Sahara.
Her oddly weak legs took her out the door where she peeked around the corner, searching for anyone in the halls before she shook her head at her own actions. Why did it feel as if she had to sneak around here? This was her home. If she felt comfortable anywhere, this should be it. Yet even as the thoughts passed through her mind and she began padding down the hallways, Keely couldn’t help but think this was one of the places she’d never feel one hundred percent comfortable.
Whatever she said, this wasn’t home for her anymore.
Wasn’t the saying home is where the heart is?
Before she could let her thoughts travel deeply in that direction, Keely hastily pushed them away, instead focusing tightly when she stopped in the doorway to the kitchen.
Leaning her palm against the doorjamb for support, she couldn’t help but pause even though her throat was screaming for some kind of liquid relief. But the fact that her dad was sitting at the table, his baseball cap pushed back awkwardly with a cup of coffee in front of him as he flicked through the newspaper absently was enough to bring her to a halt. It was obvious he wasn’t reading the paper, his eyes stayed focused in one spot while he swept through it.
Had anything changed even the slightest bit while she was gone?
It was as if Bellingham was captured in some sort of bubble, refusing to let itself change while the world sped on without it.
If she walked into her old high school wearing the uniform would anyone even notice the difference?
Still unsure if she found this to be a good thing or an awful one, Keely stepped forward, making sure her footsteps were loud enough to gain his attention, she headed straight for the sink. Even though she knew it would probably have been a good idea to greet him, she refused to speak until she had wetted her mouth. It was enough that her voice had gone to the point she could barely speak above a whisper any longer, she didn’t need to starve herself from water when her lips were almost painfully chapped.
Grabbing a glass from the cupboard silently she quickly flicked on the tap, letting it fill up in front of her eyes before chugging it back in a few gulps. But the moment it was done, her mouth dried instantly. Frowning she filled it up, guzzling back the water greedily. Why on earth was she so thirsty?
When the dreadful burn in her throat was quenched somewhat, Keely once again filled up the glass before heading back to the table.
Awkwardly she pulled out a chair, getting it hooked on the leg of the table, having to push it in again before pulling it out straight this time. Embarrassed she sat down, crossing her legs tightly in nerves as she stared down at the glass between her hands, feeling her father’s silent gaze on her the entire time.
“Hey dad,” she whispered awkwardly, her rough voice bumping over the words as she kept her gaze focused on her hands.
“Hi Keely,” he replied, his voice patient.
Biting her lip, she brought the glass up to her lips, sending him a quick look from beneath her lashes before averting her eyes again. Tapping her knuckles onto the plain wooden table, she chewed on her lip. “Well,” Keely finally spoke, her word hanging in the air awkwardly, “I’m home.”
“I see that,” was his simple response.
With the words fogging up the air between them, Keely started awkwardly tapping her foot, but when she realized it was a NSR song that her foot was subconsciously going along with, she quickly halted the movement.
Squeezing her eyes shut against the thought of one of those boys in particular, she drew in a shaky breath. Was it going to be this hard the whole time? Would just the thought of him make her want to break down weeping for no apparent reason? It was irrational. She wasn’t that person; she didn’t do things like that.
Thinking that the reason her dad was silent was he was waiting for her to explain, she let out that breath raggedly. “I…” she trailed off. How did she explain everything that had happened?
“I know,” her dad answered quietly, “I saw it on the news.”
Instantly the relieved sigh escaped her lips, but it made her wince at the rush of crisp air against her throat. “Good,” she replied coarsely. Standing up on her legs that were getting stronger after their brief weak spell when she’d first awoken, Keely headed back towards the sink.
Dumping the glass into it, she returned the cupboard, but this time snagging a mug out of it. Thankfully the coffee pot was filled and she hastily made herself a cup before the hunger pains panged angrily, reminding her of the churning stomach. Frowning she placed a hand on her stomach, but didn’t linger long on the thought, instead pouring herself a bowl of cereal from the boxes that were still on top of the fridge where she’d left them.
Balancing the bowl in one hand and sipping coffee with the other, she made her way slowly to the table in silence.
It wasn’t long until she’d dug into the bowl of cereal hungrily. It felt as if she could have polished off the entire box on her own, and had managed to work through it such a systematic hurry that she didn’t notice her father’s incredulous look on her until she was drinking the milk from the bottom of the bowl.
Placing the bowl on the table, she hastily wiped the milk that remained on the top of her lip off, sending him a questioning look. “What?” she asked, picking up her coffee cup with a refill of both things in mind.
“Since when do you drink coffee?” he returned with a puckered brow.
Returning the look, Keely finished off what was left. “Since when?” she said incredulously. “I’ve always drank coffee.”
“No,” he disagreed adamantly, shaking his head. “You would drink lattes and stuff, but you’d never just drink straight coffee.”
She was about to argue the point, but then she realized something as she frowned down at her empty mug. He was right. Every day at school she’d have a chai latte in habit and she always made her dad coffee at home, but she’d never been one to drink it. It hadn’t been until New York that she’d started drinking it almost religiously and developed an undying love for it, it had been Seth’s habit rubbing off on her.
At the thought of him, she felt her stomach jerk uncomfortably, the food resting in it protesting loudly. Rubbing her forehead wearily, she brushed her bangs back away from her eyes, turning her gaze towards the glass door that led to the back porch.
Her eyes automatically found the space on the porch where she used to always play her guitar and sing. Almost immediately the dull burning in her throat intensified, tears pricking her eyes. It felt almost out of body, like it had been a different person. A different person that used to sing to her mother, having no idea of the truth that the man sitting across from her had hidden for years, a completely different child that had by chance been singing when Maureen had saw something in her no one else had before.
And what good was it now?
Pressing her lips in a straight line, she shook her head, not wanting to deal with any of the things running through her mind right away.
With a clenched jaw, she turned her gaze back to her dad who was staring at her with a confused expression. Should she ask him about everything now? They had so much they needed to work through, so much the two of them needed to get straight.
“Did you tell Joe I’m home?” she questioned, losing all her nerve.
Although he still looked quizzical, her father just shook his head, raising his coffee mug to his lips. “I didn’t know if you wanted me to.”
Nodding, she ran her finger along her lip thoughtfully. In fact, she was pleased he didn’t say anything, she liked the idea of a surprising him. The theatrics of being a performing musician were getting to her, but she didn’t mind one bit.
“I’m going to see him,” she decided abruptly, standing up.
It didn’t matter that she was still in her concert clothes; she wanted to see her best friend. She needed somebody who she trusted absolutely at the moment. Keely knew he wasn’t going to be able to make her forget Seth for a while because she doubted anyone could do that at the moment, but Joe was the next best thing she could get.
However she hadn’t even managed to pull open the sliding door before her dad’s voice called her to a halt. “He’s not there, Keely.”
Confused she felt her brow draw together as she swivelled around to him. “What do you mean?”
“He’s at school,” he answered patiently.
“It’s Sunday,” Keely chuckled throatily, “Why would he be at school?”
Sighing, her dad rubbed his temples, knocking his baseball cap even further back. “It’s Tuesday afternoon, kid. He’s going to be out of school in a couple hours. You’ll have to wait until then.”
Sending him a distrustful look, she felt her hand fall away from the door handle. “No, it’s Sunday afternoon. I got home early this morning.”
“You’ve been sleeping for days,” he replied, sending her a bluntly honest look.
Then it fell together. The stiffness when she’d awoke. The weakness in her legs when she’d first stood up. The angry thirst in her dry mouth and the hunger pains. “Oh,” Keely answered stupidly, “Well, I’m going to go have a shower.”
Turning away from him quickly, she headed to her room, digging through the bag of clothes she’d grabbed from her hotel. It had been in a rush when she’d been fleeing the city, throwing all her things into it at once. But that was only what she’d had in her hotel room; she had bags and bags of things still in the storage place in the bus that Maureen had promised she’d have sent to Bellingham.
At the thought of her tour bus, Keely had to hold back the tears again that were just brimming to pour out. Hadn’t she cried enough? Apparently her tear ducts didn’t agree. And the thought of the tour bus where Seth was just a stone’s throw away wasn’t helping matters.
Hastily snatching up her clothes, she headed to the shower, turning the heat until it was almost blistering. And it wasn’t until she was standing beneath it when she finally let the tears pour out again, covering her mouth with her trembling hands to muffle the noise while the burning water brushed the tears away from her eyes with her forehead leaning against the slick tiles for support so she didn’t simply give way.
By the time she exited the bathroom, she’d hidden most traces of the crying fit. The shower had done its job, whisking away with the layer of grime that had covered her skin since the show and helped take down the red tinge that developed in her skin after a crying fit. Her eyes were a bit swollen, but she doubted anyone in this town would be able to tell the difference anymore. Or maybe they’d just think she was high, if they believed anything the press said, it was plausible they believed it even if those rumours had died down months before since New Year’s.
Leaving her hair loose and her bangs hanging shaggily in front of her eyes, Keely shimmied into a pair of jeans that had a tear on her knee on one leg and then one on her upper thigh on the other. And with a casual Bombay Bicycle Club v neck, she pushed her dark aviators onto her face, ready to leave.
Even though she knew she shouldn’t, Keely dumped her bag out onto her bag, fumbling around all the useless things she had no idea why she kept, trying to find her cell phone. When she finally found it, she was short of breath, though it was from the nerves of what she might find. And she couldn’t decide if she was relieved or disappointed when she found she had no missed calls or text.
Grimacing, she stuffed it into the pocket of her shorts, before burying her face wearily into her hands. What was she expecting? For him to leave a message saying how much he loved her and he’d do anything for her?
She’d left him.
There was no going back from there.
If there was ever a shot at any sort of lopsided romance between the two of them, she’d ruined it in that one go. But a part of her was angry at him too. After all the times they’d had together, why had he chosen then to say something? Her world had just caved in about her and he threw that into the mix.
As unreal as it seemed, she couldn’t brush off his words, refusing to believe the truth behind them. Because she’d seen the truth in his eyes then.
“If I could be what you wanted” the Radiohead lyrics drifted through her mind, making Keely give something between a dry sob and a hysterical chuckle.
Yes, maybe he could love her and she could love him. But that didn’t solve everything, as much as she believed the Beatles that love was all you need, she didn’t believe it would solve the issues with every part of her life. Her father loved her, yet he’d lied to her. Her mom had loved her, yet she’d died. In his way Tony had loved her, yet he’d cheated on her. Joe loved her, yet he’d tried to tear down her dreams at every corner.
No, love wasn’t enough. And as Thom Yorke had sang in Fake Plastic Trees, she wasn’t what Seth wanted. She wasn’t who he wanted at the moment. He’d only ever known her as a singer, not as the girl that hid every important part of herself away from every person in her life in her fear.
She wasn’t even what she wanted and that was the most important. She had to figure out her mind before she could even ponder his complicated mind and their confusing relationship.
Gulping down her panicked breaths, Keely hastily stuffed everything back in her bag before walking back towards the kitchen. She found it empty, but a turn around the corner found her father watching the sports channel in the living room.
Stopping in the doorway awkwardly, she painfully cleared her throat, pulling the side bag over her shoulder. “Do you still have my old car?”
With a glance towards her, her dad nodded, his eyes lingering on her for a moment too long and making Keely avert her gaze guiltily although she wasn’t sure what she felt guilty about. “Yeah, the keys are sitting on the dashboard in the back.”
With a quick goodbye, she headed out to the back. Before getting into the car, she walked into the barn, saying a hasty hello to the animals.
There were no nickers of familiarity from them anymore, not the way it used to be. They had no idea who she was anymore, barely even acknowledging her presence. It made her shoulders slump slightly as she walked away, would it be the same with the people she’d known here as well?
Taking a seat in the familiar old car that had a stale scent, Keely rubbed her head wearily. Did she even want people to recognize her as the old Keely Staub? Just the thought of the way she used to be was enough to shame her, and it was all coming back all too fast for her battered mind, body and heart to stand. Just being at home she was feeling even more isolated than she had every night on the bus for the past few months; separated from Seth, Marco and Colton.
Sending a hesitant look behind her, she grabbed the keys from the dashboard, the engine roaring to life easily.
It wasn’t a very long drive to Joe’s high school, but it did feel odd driving there. Not only because she was feeling a wave of sickening nostalgia while passing through the familiar town, but because she’d never really driven out to his school before. Even when she’d gone there it had always been him driving.
Arriving in the parking lot of the rather unimpressive looking school, Keely found herself a spot that gave a clear view to the set of front doors. Gazing at the building from behind the dark shades, she couldn’t help but think it rather resembled a prison if only it had barb wire fences, the dull grey walls doing nothing to help the image. But even the thought about going to high school again made her feel slightly queasy, was that just the time spent on tour living like a rock star coming out of her?
Snatching up her bag, she slammed out of the car, but paused at the hood. She was sure she’d get hopelessly lost if she tried to find Joseph in there, he’d probably make it home before she found her way out again.
So instead of walking inside, she just leaned back against the hood, crossing her arms over her chest, waiting impatiently for the bell to ring. It didn’t take long for that to happen, within moments the abrasive ring sounded loud enough for even her to hear in the parking lot. But what did take longer was for the people to begin piling out of the school, exiting with groups of friends as they laughed and joked with each other. The sight of that made her shift uncomfortably there.
She had nobody to laugh with. Keely had no idea how things were going to go with Joseph, she had been so busy over the tour that she hadn’t called and he hadn’t bothered either. She hadn’t dared call Haley after their last disastrous talk. Tony was just an enormous question mark as was Sadie since the two of them were best friends. Then the rest of her friends resided in New York at the moment, but the thought of them – particularly one – made her heart ache alarmingly and she preferred not to think about him-them.
People sent her confused looks as she stood there, but no one approached her. Keely was in suspicion that they might have an inkling about who she was, but were in doubt if it was actually her. Because she was pretty sure people thought she was still in Montgomery or with the rest in New York, it was what expected after all.
In what felt like an eternity of standing in front of her car, getting strange side long looks, she finally saw what she was waiting for. The neatly cropped bright blonde hair, strong shoulders covered by a white polo shirt and crisp looking jeans with even the grin the same. He was holding the back pack on his shoulder casually, a smile lighting up his face as he laughed at something the guy beside him in the little group said.
To be honest, she had no idea who the people were standing about Joseph. She’d never really spent much time with his friends from school; she’d only been there once or twice. That was why she doubted the people sending her those confused looks actually knew who she was, instead thinking she was just a random hanging around their parking lot. But she did know her best friend, down to that twinkle shining in his bright blue eyes as he laughed.
But then the person beside him frowned, nodding in her direction, making Joe turn his eyes forward to her.
Instantly the smile fled his face, leaving him with an expression blank with shock, his mouth opening and closing. Unable to help herself, Keely began to giggle at his face, putting her hands over her mouth as she shoved off the hood.
Apparently finally coming to terms with what he was seeing, the smile broke out over Joe’s familiar face again, but it was brighter than before.
With confused looks from his friends, Joe jogged quickly towards her, making Keely give a chocked laugh when he gripped her tightly into a hug. His grip pulled her off the ground, but her toes were just barely off the cement he not being too much taller than her. Smiling she happily wrapped her arms around his shoulders, feeling nothing but comfortable in the embrace.
“I didn’t know you were coming home!” he exclaimed, dropping her down lightly to the concrete on her sneaker clad feet.
Not wanting to speak right away through her painfully rusty throat, Keely just tightened her grip around his shoulders, drawing him in closer with a happy sigh. He smelt like her childhood, hay with sharp cologne and just plain Joe. It didn’t take the dull and constant ache away from her chest, but it managed to distract her.
Letting go of him she smiled up at him, the expression feeling pure as she stared at his cerulean blue eyes. “I’ve been home for days, Joseph,” she chuckled roughly. Not quite oblivious enough to miss the shocked expression that flitted across his face at the sound of her voice, she hurriedly added, “You were just too blind to see it.”
His eyes didn’t flicker away from her face, running over her eagerly as if she might disappear from before him at any time. “How could I have not seen you? I went to see your dad yesterday.”
“I sleep well hidden,” she returned.
A slight frown touched his mouth, making Keely send him a concerned look. With an almost pensive look, he touched her loose messy hair, his warm palm brushing her cheek. “You look different,” he murmured, his brow furrowing slightly.
Smirking up at him, she ran her hand through her hair, shoving it back away from her face. “As in I gave up styling my hair? Yeah that happened like a week after I realized Haley couldn’t get me in New York.”
“No, you hold yourself differently, taller I guess,” he replied, causing her to blink up at him. Shaking his head quickly, he smiled brightly down at her, pulling her in for another tight hug, making her return the pressure, her hands flat on his back. “God, I missed you Keely,” he exclaimed loudly.
Even though it was painful she let out a laugh, squeezing him tightly.
But when he finally let go, Keely was quick to notice that one person had hedged closer to them, holding their binder out with their eyes peeled on her.
For a moment, she just stared at them stupidly, still not having stepped away from Joseph. Yes, she’d signed more autographs than she could remember in the past few months. But it seemed strange to get them here, where she grew up. But, after giving herself a little shake, she remembered that these people didn’t know her. She hadn’t spent time here, they were simply her fans, and this one happened to be one of the amazing few that hadn’t turned on her yet.
“Autograph?” she questioned in a croak. When they gave her a jerky nod, she sent them a warm smile as she stepped around Joe, taking the binder and signing it casually. “Here you go sweetie,” Keely said, keeping the smile on.
However when she looked up, she noticed that more people were drawing closer.
Hastily turning back to Joe, she tweaked her head pointedly towards the car, raising her eyebrows pointedly. When he just stared at her blankly, she mouthed ‘let’s go’ finally causing him to nod in understanding.
“Keys,” he said, holding up his hands.
Her nose crinkling up, she pointed out, “My car.”
“I’m still driving.”
Not seeing the point in arguing it, she just rolled her eyes and tossed him the keys.
Usually she would have loved to stay and talk to the people that were there, coming closer. But after the incident back in Montgomery, she didn’t know if she could face them. Half because she felt guilty for doing what she did to them and the other half because she was scared about what they might say to her.
At the moment she wasn’t sure how much rejection she could take when it came to her music. She felt as if she might break at any moment, by the barest of touches.
Hastily getting into the passenger’s side door, she propped her elbow against the window, leaning her head into her hand as the engine came to a slow life, Joe putting the car into reverse.
She knew they couldn’t see where she was looking exactly from behind the dark sunglasses, but Keely still felt the need to avert her eyes from the people that had been steadily drawing in closer. She doubted many of them were even that big of fans anymore, not with what had happened. They were probably just coming closer to see if it was really her standing in their school parking lot with Joe.
“I just left my car at school,” Joe observed as they pulled out onto the main road.
Shaking her head, she shot him a quick grin, pulling her legs up to huddle against her. “We’ll pick it up later,” she promised. The end of her sentence was interrupted by her stomach growling loudly, making Keely pull a face as she pressed her hand on the place protesting so vehemently.
Arching an eyebrow at her, Joe sent her an amused look. “But should we go get something to eat first?”
“Definitely,” she replied, “Should we stop at the old school, first though?”
His eyes shifting back to the road, she could only see a portion of his face contort in confusion while he kept a polite distant between him and the car ahead, driving a careful speed just above the limit. “You mean your school?”
“Uh, I guess,” she answered slowly. “My old school. We could pick up Haley; all go out for lunch, like old times.”
This time he did send her a quick glance, making Keely frown at the remorseful look etched clearly across his handsome face. “That’s probably not the best idea,” he admitted lowly, sending his gaze straight forward.
Feeling a bit apprehensive, she questioned slowly, “… why?”
“We haven’t talked in a while,” Joe replied, his eyes focused too steadily on the road. “We broke up again a while back. We just don’t work.”
Her mouth formed a perfect little ‘o’ for a moment, but she hastily shut it, nodding slowly. To be honest she’d been happy they’d been dating for when she returned, as much as she’d been opposed to the idea when they’d started all that time ago, it was much simpler when they were together. When they were at least talking.
Actually, it had been better before they were dating. When the three of them were great friends and they hadn’t gone and ruined it. Swallowing the dry lump that formed in her throat, Keely leaned her head against the window, staring out at the familiar landmarks. Just more and more reasons why relationships always ended badly, why bother?
“Before we go for food we need to stop at the pharmacy,” she told him, all humor having fled from her voice. “I need to get some things.”
It wasn’t too long until Joe had pulled in front of a chain dinner in the middle of the town and they’d huddled into a booth facing each other. After a moment of indecision, Keely had pushed the thought of coffee away from her mind, instead opting for the camomile tea on the menu, gaining her an odd look from her best friend. Hadn’t she read somewhere that it was supposed to be soothing? Well, she could use all the soothing she could get these days.
All from the time they sat down to ordering their drinks then food, Joe kept up a steady chatting line. He talked about everything from what happened at school to what was going on at the barn and his training, all the while Keely just watched him, a fond small smile twitching on the edges of her mouth.
She was happy to let him do all the talking for the two of them. It was nice to see the way his eyes would brighten when he got particularly excited about what he was saying and his hands would begin to talk with him as well. The fact that they had the same habit of it was a show to how much time they’d spent together. A part of her wanted to start running her mouth off about everything that had happened – good and bad – through the tour to him, confiding everything in him.
But three things were stopping her. One, so much had happened she wasn’t sure how she’d be able to get through it without months of time. Secondly her voice wouldn’t be able to hold up after the amount of talking she’d need to do. And lastly, she wasn’t sure how he’d take to her talking about the tour. He hadn’t been exactly supportive of her music in the first place and it seemed with all the subjects he was going through as he went along chatting happily he was avoiding music and talk about famous people at all costs. It was as if he was afraid he might be sucked into some kind of portal if any names of familiarity from her life slipped through his mouth.
It didn’t surprise her that much to be honest. From what she could gather from history, most musicians’ families preferred to keep the road separate from them. Well, she at least knew that was true for Ray Charles’ wife and the same for Johnny Cash’s first wife though definitely not June Carter.
Her thoughts having drifted away while he was talking about some jumping exercise he was doing with a horse, Keely straightened as a song burst from her pocket.
At the sound of BTO’s Taking Care Of Business, she gave a wince, sending an apologetic look in Joe’s direction, she dug her phone from her shorts. The ringtone had been aptly tagged onto Maureen’s name for obvious reasons.
“Hello?” she questioned warily into the phone in her hoarse voice.
“Have a given you enough time before I start to pester you?” asked Maureen in her usual clipped business tone.
Resisting the urge to roll her eyes, Keely sent a thankful smile to the waitress as their food was placed in front of them, her stomach grumbling loudly. “Depends on how much you’ve slept in the past couple days,” she replied, munching on a fry off her plate hungrily. She doubted food had ever tasted so good.
“What?”
With a sigh she leaned back in her seat, crossing her arm over her chest as she stared out the window with the phone pressed against her ear. “Nothing Maureen, what do you need from me?”
“I need you to be resting your voice,” the other woman quipped.
This time not resisting the urge, she did roll her eyes, rubbing her temple. “Do I need to remind you that you called me?”
“Keely, just take advice once in a while,” replied Maureen, her voice abruptly softer. Instantly she felt herself stiffen against the emotion running through her voice. “I just want you to get better; everyone just wants you to get better.”
Clenching her jaw tightly against the trembling that threatened, she nodded slowly. When she was sure her voice wouldn’t waver, she too had a softer raspy tone when she spoke next, the vulnerability of her voice surprising even her. “What do you need?”
Maureen gave a sigh that she could hear over the phone, making her wince, she wasn’t a good enough actor when it came to these people. “To tell you that I’ve got Marco and Colton to agree to pack up your stuff from the tour bus. The boxes they’ve packed for you should be arriving at your house in about three to five days, depending on how fast they pack everything up.”
“Thank you,” Keely murmured, her voice dripping in genuineness.
“Just get better,” said Maureen before a sharp click sounded the end of the call.
Closing her eyes for a brief moment, Keely pulled in a calming breath, telling herself mentally to put her game face on. When she opened them, she’d managed to paste a bright smile on her mouth that actually hurt her lips, but Joe seemed to buy it, his shoulders relaxing and his eyes dropping away from their intense gaze that had been on her since she’d answered the call.
Why was it so much easier to act like this around these people that she’d known forever? Shouldn’t it have been more difficult?
“Who’s Maureen?” he asked, he too eating a fry off his plate.
“Um, Miss Jones, you know her,” she answered, her eyes falling to her own plate, “Mitchie’s mom. The little girl I gave a lesson to a little while before I went to New York. Maureen is the owner of UAE Records, she’s my agent and the one who signed me.”
His head snapping up, Joe frowned at her. “Why is she calling you though? You left.”
Giving a little chuckle, she shook her head, quirking her eyebrows slightly. “I didn’t leave forever, Joseph. She still owns my ass.”
“You’re still on the label?”
This time it was her turn to frown at him.
“Of course I am,” she answered him incredulously. “Even if I wanted to be off – which I definitely don’t – I still pretty much sold my soul when I signed, I’m not getting off for a long time. I still have the Seattle show to finish the tour. I just have to figure things out. I’m not here forever.”
Nodding slowly, he now looked down at his plate, hiding his expression from her view. “Oh,” he answered simply.
With a snort, she waved her hand. “Only a fool would think I’d actually leave the label. That’s my life; I can’t turn away from it. But I’m supposed to be resting my voice; it’s your turn to start talking again.”
As it turned out, it didn’t take much to get Joe talking again.
In fact he didn’t stop until they finally arrived at her house late that night.
Keely having agreed to just drive him to school the next morning so he could drive his own car home made it so they didn’t need to go back to his high school, instead letting them head straight to her home.
“I need to go do some training,” Joe pointed out as they neared her front door, his back pack slung over one shoulder.
Smiling lightly, she just knocked her shoulder against his. “So much more dedicated than I ever was.”
“I missed you, Keely,” he told her sincerely, wrapping his arms around her for another hug.
Returned the pressure, Keely just smiled sadly against the crook of his neck. “I missed you too,” she told him. Yes she had missed him, and being home, seeing her dad and he again, had filled the little gap that had been in her heart for a long time over the time apart. But in doing so it had left a large gaping whole right in the middle of her heart, and she wasn’t sure the bleeding would ever stop from it.
When she pulled away she gave a sigh, brushing her bangs out of her eyes as she met his bright blue eyes full on. “I’m sorry about not calling through the whole tour,” she apologized guiltily, “You’re my best friend, I should have called.”
He sent her a comforting familiar smile. “Don’t worry, I should have called too. We called each other probably the same amount. We both suck at keeping in touch.”
Biting her lips tightly she hugged him tightly one last time before pulling away and stepping back towards her front door. “See you tomorrow morning, Joe,” she said in farewell, turning away and stepping through the door without a backwards glance.
At that moment she knew she shouldn’t feel guilty for this.
Haley was her best friend, and so was Joe. When they’d broken up the first time Keely hadn’t taken sides, she’d simply split her time up between the two of them evenly. But for some reason it made her feel guilty that she was heading out to her old high school to see her friend without Joe’s knowledge. It was irrational.
Groaning, she just shook her head, resting her head upon her free hand that she’d propped against the window while her other hand held the wheel straight. She doubted she even needed to watch the roads anymore, how many times had she driven this path in the past five years? It was like second nature. But the thought of entering that place, driving down this road; it all made her feel queasy to her stomach.
It was also irrational to believe that by stepping in there would make her the person she’d been before New York, but it still terrified her.
Not one part of her wanted to go back there. All that was waiting there was a shadow of the person she was, hiding behind usual rituals and people she shouldn’t have relied on. She wasn’t that person anymore. She wasn’t going to hide who she was anymore, but that didn’t mean she wanted to go back. She had nothing to prove.
But it was Haley, so she would do it.
After more prodding the day before, she’d discovered that Joe and Hales had broken up just after Christmas, which made that disastrous phone call all the more understandable. She’d just gotten her heart broken, it was enough to make Keely forgive every word her friend had said, not matter how hurtful they’d been.
Seeing her phone light up with a text on the passenger’s seat, she peered over, noticing that her dad had sent her a question about the doctor’s appointment she’d gone to.
After dropping Joe off at his school that morning, she’d taken herself to yet another private clinic in town, getting her throat checked out. She’d learnt no new news though, just he looked down and observed, making little clicking noises in the back of his throat. Once again she was told the best thing she could was rest her voice, although he advised things to soothe the ache. But he did say that the recovery was going well, though he’d ruined that by reminding her how severe the damage she’d done to it was.
However the most shocking part of the day was the fact her dad had remembered how to text. She’d been sitting with him the night before, some sport she was far from interested in playing on the television, and taught him how to text. She’d done that multiple times before, so had Joe, but it’d never stuck. It was a Wednesday miracle.
When she finally pulled into the parking lot, Keely pointedly looked anywhere but the building, focusing instead on inside her car. With very focused movements, she turned off the car, dropping the keys in the pocket of her strategically faded jean jacket, snatching up her cell phone and bag before pushing out of the door.
Since it would still be a few days until the rest of her clothes showed up, she was stuck wearing her concert clothes. It was a good thing she didn’t have a wardrobe like Marissa. Meaning she was in a pair of black skinny jeans, vans, a loose fitting shirt that’s deep v was tied with a thread to keep her from flashing the world and her jean jacket with her hair, messy as always, over her shoulders.
Sending her dad back a message that the appointment went okay, she kept her head down, walking the familiar path. Why did it feel like a death march? She could only wonder if her dad knew how to open the messages.
It was only when she pushed through the doors of the school that she raised her eyes. Suddenly thankful for her shaggy bangs that helped hide her, she stared around wide eyed at the halls. People’s eyes instantly trained on her, the private school small enough that everyone knew when an outsider came in. And she was sure that they all must recognize her.
Gulping down the ball of panic that solidified in her throat, she looked up and down the people had stopped to look at her with incredulous look. Ever since she was a child, her red hair had been something bright that stuck her out of the crowd, but she’d never felt so isolated in a crowd even at her concerts as she did now, standing in the midst of people wearing identical uniforms with their hair done neatly.
Suddenly it felt like she should be dressed in the demure uniform, or as demure as Haley had ever allowed it to be, her hair tidily with her books and heading towards the coffee cart for the habitual latte.
The thought settled on her mind uncomfortably, making Keely give a very real shiver as she stepped forward, tipping her chin up as she walked forwards in search of her friend. Just the thought made that paranoia came back. If she was afraid of anything it was becoming the terrified little cheerleader leaving a total lie, well, that and forgetting the words to the national anthem. But the former seemed more pressing at the moment.
She was just peering around through the bodies of people that reminded her of sheep in search of her friend, when she rounded a corner, bumping into a solid chest with an echoing thump.
Immediately she opened her mouth to apologize, but words were stolen from her mouth.
“Keely?” questioned the male voice in a daze. Keely was just about to look up to the body that belonged to the voice she was so accustomed to before she was wrapped in a bone crushing hug.
Laughing loudly, she wrapped her arms around Tony’s lean stomach before pulling away with a smile.
“I didn’t know you were in town,” he told her happily, letting go easily so he could look down at her.
Opposed to Joe, Tony really was taller than she. And an absent thought strayed through her mind, reminding her that Seth was probably just the same height if not taller. But the thought made her wince before she forced a bright smile on her face that hadn’t been so false just a moment before.
“Soon everybody’s going to know if you keep going on like that,” she told him, shoving his shoulder friendlily.
The sound of her voice made his familiar handsome face turn from the joy at seeing her to the picture of concern, it seemed everyone who heard her speak these day’s was having that reaction. “Oh,” Tony said, drawing out the word sympathetically, “I heard about that, you doing okay?”
At the pitying tone, she felt her jaw clench, but kept the smile steadily on her mouth. “I’ll tell you in about a week? I have to go.”
“What?” he asked incredulously, “But you just showed up.”
Shaking her head, she gave him a fleeting light hug before pulling away again. “I know, I’m sorry, we’ll hang out tomorrow, okay? I’ll text you about it. Me, you, Joe and Haley, we can go get dinner or something. But right now I’ve got to go find Hales.”
His expression changed to something she figured was akin to dread. “That’s probably not a good idea,” said Tony slowly.
“Don’t worry,” she answered as breezily as her raspy voice would allow while she waved a careless hand. “Joe won’t try to kill you anymore, we’re not together. Things will go fine. But I’ll text you about it later.”
“It’s not–” he called out, but Keely had already dodged around him, losing his voice around the corner.
Thinking that it’d be her best bet to check where Haley’s locker was, she took a hasty left. In a way she was doing a lap back towards the front door, but as long as people weren’t stalking her through the halls, she wouldn’t see the same people again since she was taking a different hall back there.
Unlike at Joe’s school, the people didn’t approach her, just stared at her with wary looks and sometimes even condescending. They knew her, they’d gone to school together for a very long time; these people weren’t going to be affected by fame. And even if they were, they weren’t about to show it, being too “well bred” to do it, which Keely had never understood in the first place.
But even when some more than unfriendly looks were focused on her, she kept her chin higher, still in search of Haley. After seeing Tony, being welcomed back with literal open arms, it gave her a surge of confidence she hadn’t had when just walking into the building.
Seeing the familiar blonde hair half inside a locker, she felt a smile spread warmly across her face.
It didn’t even bother her that everyone looked exactly like the way she’d left them anymore.
The girl who Keely recognized as a cheerleader beside Haley whispered something to the girl, causing the smoothly brushed out blonde hair to whip out of where she’d been digging in the locker. Her smile broadened as she looked at Haley, her face as elegantly beautiful as ever, those wide brown eyes a pretty warm chocolate colour.
However the smile slid of her face and Keely found herself pausing in her steps when Haley focused on her, a hard expression toughening the usually soft eyes and making her lips go in a hard line.
Ignoring the chill that rippled across her skin, she kept stepping forward, but she knew that there was no smile anymore.
“What are you doing here?” asked Haley harshly.
Shying away ever so slightly at the severe tone her friend had used, Keely kept focused on her, though the confusion was setting in. “I came to see you,” she explained, her voice coming out quieter than she intended it to.
For a moment she thought she saw a flash go across Haley’s face, but it was either quickly masked or never happened because her stony expression was back. “Oh, well, that’s just lovely, Keely. You actually spared a moment for your best friend,” she replied sarcastically.
Then it set in from the words and Keely bit down on her lip, sending a quick look to the side where people were watching unashamedly closely. They didn’t even look away when she stared at them pointedly. “Look, I’m sorry that I didn’t call,” she said, lowering her voice to keep some resemblance of privacy. But the crowd that was gaining a few more spectators just inched closer to keep all the words in hearing of them. Rolling her eyes, Keely focused back on the other girl. “But I was really busy, I mean–”
“Oh, get over yourself,” Haley snapped, grabbing a book out of her locker before slamming the door loudly.
Sighing, Keely rubbed her forehead. All that confidence that the short meeting with Tony had given her was depleting quickly, and she just felt all too tired of it all to fight back. “I don’t know what you want me to say to make everything better.”
Haley’s pretty eyes narrowed on her. “There’s nothing you can say to make it better.”
“I don’t know what I did wrong,” Keely returned, her eyes flickering up to the other girl wearily.
The other girl gave a loud cynical laugh, the sound shooting a shiver down Keely’s back. The creeps to be sure. “Wow, fame really did get to that thick head of yours, didn’t it? Not every part of my life revolves around you.”
“Just–” Keely began, but a voice interrupted her.
“Hales, you ready to go?”
Instantly Keely’s head jerked around, with wide eyes. She knew that voice well, animosity setting in before she even saw the person, but she just needed to check – with her own eyes – that her ears weren’t playing tricks on her. But sure enough, it was the person she’d expected.
As everyone else, the blonde looked exactly the way she remembered, the sick feeling in Keely’s stomach growing. Taylor had platinum blonde, which Keely wished she could say was died but it was probably just her naturally gorgeous hair colour, opposed to Haley’s dirty blonde and her eyes still shined like blue diamonds, but they were just as cold as the real life stones.
“Yeah, let’s go now,” said Haley pointedly, shoving past Keely.
Stumbling slightly at the girl knocking her shoulder against hers, Keely wrapped her arms tightly around at herself, watching the two blondes taking off away from her as she just tried to work out what had just happened.
However right at the doors after Haley had walked out, Taylor spun on her heel with a smirk, blowing Keely a kiss.
Groaning she looked down at the ground, still standing stupidly in place as she rubbed the side of her head, feeling as if she’d just taken a blow. But when she looked up, moisture pricking the back of her eyes, she found people watching her interestedly.
Cussing loudly in her hoarse voice, Keely shoved past them as well. The fresh air that hit her didn’t help to clear her mind as she moved hastily towards her car.
For a moment Keely didn’t even register the phone in her pocket ringing as she walked away, biting down on her lip harshly. There was no crying now. She had cried enough lately and there was no way she was going to do it here, not in her high school parking lot. They saw her weak for years before, she wasn’t anymore.
With that thought she straightened her back, raising her head as she pulled the cell phone out of her pocket. But even with her thoughts and actions, when she pulled open her car door, her voice was shaking as she said, “Hello?”
“Keely?” asked a familiar smooth low voice, “What’s wrong?”
Letting out a sigh at the comforting sound of her friend’s voice, Keely hastily climbed behind the wheel of her car, shutting the door sharply. “Ah, just the usual, you know. Coughing up blood, not being able to sing, going back home, getting almost killed by your best friend. Just a regular day for me.”
There was a beat of silence before Rose’s concerned voice picked up, “You can’t sing? You coughed up blood? Are you okay?”
Letting out a painful chuckle in the back of her throat that made her pull in a sharp breath, Keely dropped her forehead on the steering wheel wearily. “Can you start giving me tips on how to avoid the press and gossip as well as you do? Because I do not need to see that night on television one more time.”
“As for avoiding the press, I lock myself in the tour bus and don’t come out until I have to do a show. That’s my secret. And what night are you talking about? I’ve been so out of it since this tour started,” she revealed, letting out a shaky breath, “I haven’t done anything but play music.”
“Nothing big, I was stupid and even though doctors said I can’t sing, I did it anyways. Pretty much resulted in me coughing up blood on stage,” Keely said in a hurried croaked voice. She hadn’t missed the emotion underlying Rose’s last words. “Are you okay?”
Over the line Rose let out a choked laugh. “No. My wrist is messed up. I keep ignoring it but it won’t go away and I think I’m going to have to visit the doctor.” Her words ended, leading up to laughter that was sounding to the side of hysterical. “What’s wrong with us? You can’t sing and I can’t play. We’re so screwed up, Keely.”
Partaking in the hysterical laughter, she just stayed bent over with the steering wheel, wiping the tears that had leaked from her eyes in the manic laughter as her shoulder shook. But suddenly the laughter cut off, leading her into an angry coughing fit. Covering her mouth, Keely pulled the phone away from her ear in hopes that Rose wouldn’t have to hear.
She placed the phone back against her ear, but before Keely could speak, Rose was whispering into her ear through the phone. “I’m sorry, Keely. You’ll get better, right? You’ll be able to sing again soon?”
“We’ll see,” Keely returned, her voice cracking over the words. “The doctor said it was from overuse on this tour and I had to rest it, but I just slept straight for a few days once I got home, I don’t know what’s going to happen yet. But it has to be ready in time for the last show of the tour.”
“Don’t push yourself,” Rose responded instantly, “I think we both know it won’t do any good. You’ll just hurt yourself worse.” There was a pause before she spoke again, but this time her voice was almost hesitant. “It’s better to know though, right? I mean, if I go to the doctor he’ll probably just tell me to rest it but at least I’ll know it’s nothing serious. Ignoring it is probably stupid, isn’t it?”
Tiredly Keely ran a hand over her face, closing her eyes as she leaned back in the driver’s seat. “Ignoring it is stupid,” she promised, “I ignored it and what the doctors said and look where it got me. In a place where I don’t want to be, hurting everyone that I love,” Keely finished at a hoarse whisper, her heart panging in her chest.
“You’re being too hard on yourself, Keely. Just focus on getting better. As for me, I’m going to visit the doctor, see what he has to say and if he tells me my career is over… well, I’m going to be a mess. Want to be a mess with me?”
“I’m already there, Rose, just join the club.” Sighing, she rubbed her temples. “How are Mac and the boys?” she questioned, wanting to get away from the serious topic as best as she could. It’d be nice to have a short break for a moment.
“They’re incredible. Everyone loves them. They’re made for this life which is why I can’t mess it up for them. I kept thinking that if I just made it to the end of the tour, everything would be fine. I could heal and we would go back to normal. But yesterday...my fingers went numb when I was playing for Jenna. I can’t play if I can’t even feel it. I’m not ready to give everything up, Keely,” she returned painfully. Keely instantly opened her mouth to contradict her, but Rose hurried forward. “How’s Seth?”
Instantly the steady pain that was flowing through her chest through the past days worsened, bringing it to the forefront of her mind as much as she’d been trying to push it back. “I – uh,” she stuttered, “Who knows. And you’re not ruining it for them, they wouldn’t be there if it wasn’t for you,” Keely whispered, not knowing what else to say.
“Did something happen with Seth?” Rose questioned, her voice possessing a strained note. “Do you want to talk about it?”
Rubbing a hand absently over her heart, Keely felt the sarcastic little smirk cross over her mouth, answering, “Nothing that’s about to change. I don’t know, Rose. We just can never get things right.”
There was a sniffle on the other line of the phone and she felt a jolt in her chest, making that forced smirk to slide off her face instead making tears prick at the back of her eyes. “I think I’m supposed to say something optimistic right now but I’m not sure I’m capable at the moment,” Rose admitted.
Giving a chocked laugh, she thumbed away the moisture before it could fall, feeling idiotic. She was sitting in the middle of her high school parking lot, crying with a fellow rock star about their careers falling apart. What the hell? “I’m not feeling in the mood for optimism anyways, so I’m good with this.”
“We’ll be okay,” murmured the other girl, “We’ll figure everything out.”
Dragging in a shaky breath, Keely nodded mutely. She wasn’t so sure if everything would work out, though. Yes, music she had her plan worked out with Maureen, she would never be parted. But with Seth? It was doubtful.
“Of course,” she replied, her voice breaking painfully over the last word.
“Of course,” Rose replied in kind, though there was a definite lack of conviction. “Okay, I should go. Talk to you soon?”
Once again Keely nodded, but quickly remembered the other girl couldn’t see her. “Yeah,” she agreed in her hoarse tone. “By then we’ll both be miraculously cured and be outrageously talented, deal?”
“Deal,” agreed she on a chocked laugh, “Bye Keely.”
“Bye Rose,” whispered Keely, her voice roughly running across her throat.
As she dropped the phone on the seat beside her, she finally let her eyes take in her old school through the windshield. It looked like something out of a book with the stately brick walls and perfectly trimmed grass, but it just made her feel sick to her stomach.
Even though she hadn’t wanted to fit in there, the fact that she didn’t anymore made it so much worse.
Where did she fit in?
She was a singer yet she couldn’t sing. Her only home was a farm yet she had no interest in any of the animals or what was going on there. She didn’t even fit in where she’d always had a place.
The thought made her press her lips tightly together, hastily turning on the engine before pulling out of the lot. She wanted to be as far away from this as she could be.
But it wasn’t until she was heading down the way she came when the music playing on the radio finally cut into her consciousness. As ever the voice was beautiful, and she found herself wanting to sing along to the lyrics, but her throat wouldn’t allow it. Wondering if she was going to throw up, Keely listened to the words flooding from the speakers of the car and reverberating around her head as her hands began to tremble dangerously on the wheel of the car, making her thankful there was no one else on the road with her.
“I’m nothing special, in fact I’m a bit of a bore. If I tell a joke, you’ve probably heard it before. But I have a talent, a wonderful thing. ‘Cause everyone listens when I start to sing. I’m so grateful and proud. All I want is to sing it out loud.”
Despite the cheerful music that Abba was providing and the uplifting words paired with Agnetha’s gorgeous voice, Keely felt the tears that she’d been holding back from the school come back with a thunder. Her hands were beginning to shake more violently, but she just bit harshly down on her lip until she felt the metallic taste of blood sting her mouth to hold back the tears.
“So I say. Thank you for the music, the songs I’m singing. Thank you for all the joy they’re bringing. Who can live without it, I ask in all honesty. What would life be? Without a song or a dance what are we? So I say thank you for the music. For giving it to me.”
Finally she wasn’t able to hold back as the tears fell from her eyes and she pulled clumsily to a stop on the side of the road, the sobs raking through her body.
- I'm sorry if the facts of her old friends didn't line up... to be honest, I haven't written them in four years lol. So I am eventually going to go back and rewrite the crappy beginning, so the facts will eventually line up.
Anyways, gorgeous cover on the side made by GreekWildLife.
ABBA's Thank You For The Music on the side.
I'm wondering what you all think of this to be honest lol. It was always supposed to happen this way, but you all had such different takes on what was going to happen.
I got off work early today since the power went off, it's a lovely feeling. Me and Jules should be buying a plane tickets to England tomorrow or tonight. If we run out of money, will anyone feed us lmao? And... now I have to go do chores and ride horses. Ah, a very busy life I lead. Whatever.
First chapter completely without Seth in a very long time lol.