just a teensy teensy reminder;
tae is PANSEXUAL.
kook is BISEXUAL.
so both of them can like girls if they want, guys.
if a female character comes up and they interact with either tae or kook, pls do not go "SHUT UP TAE, YOURE GAY" or "FGS, YOURE GAY FOR TAEHYUNG ONLY."
i repeat, kook is bi and tae is pan.
anyway, enjoy readingggggg
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taehyung focus
"you're claustrophobic?"
taehyung sits sideways on the motorcycle with his legs dangling, eating into a bag of sour gummies when jungkook asks him the aforementioned question. sprinkles of white sugar are littered all around his mouth, decorating his pink lips so taehyung swipes at the sugar with the back of his hand.
"yeah." he swallows hard.
jungkook stands besides the motorcycle, smoking a cigarette whilst looking away from taehyung, staring meaninglessly at a spot in the distance. "ill keep that in mind." he murmurs. taehyung, unsure about what to say, pushes his damp fringe to one side and reaches down for the bottle of water sitting in the grocery bag. he uncaps the water and takes a careful sip.
gulping down the water, taehyung thinks back to the state he was in just fifteen minutes ago; hyperventilating almost inhumanely, nauseous and dizzy, crying and sobbing, crouching by an unhygienic hand dryer in a very unhygienic public toilet whilst people stared at him, confused as to why a random boy was heavily breathing in the corner of the men's bathroom.
taehyung cringes but there's nothing much he can do to change what's in the past, he'll just have to get over what happened at the gas station. his fear of crowded and confined spaces is pretty irrational, yes, but it's something that truly freaks out taehyung, so he doesn't wallow in self–hate and internally die of embarrassment at what had happened, he just accepts it.
this isn't the first time anyway — it's happened many times before; at press conferences when the journalists would get a little too close for taehyung's liking, or when he was studying abroad and the lunch bell would ring; triggering a stampede of students to run towards the canteen and taehyung'd be caught up in the frenzied hubbub, hyperventilating and sweating until someone noticed and dragged him to the nurse's office.
so taehyung's not really embarrassed. it's a just thing he can't help but do.
he does heat up though (cheeks flaming a bright shade of red and turning so hot, you could fry burger patties over them) but not because he's awkward/embarrassed/shy, but because of the way jungkook had controlled the situation — he'd been so nice, he'd taken the time to comfort and make taehyung calm and hadn't been his usual rude dismissive self surprisingly. he did all the right things; the breathing 'exercises', the reassuring comments, staying there with him and making sure taehyung was in an open space, the eye contact. . .
he was so close though, taehyung thinks, heating up, i could smell cigarettes and mint on his breath and it shouldn't have calmed me down but . . . it did. weirdly. and his mouth was inches away from mine; any closer and he would've been able to. . . oh my—
oh my god, what the fuck are you thinking about, kim taehyung??
despite taehyung's weird thoughts, jungkook's actions and niceness does make taehyung's heart unwillingly warm up to the boy standing on his left. but taehyung quickly dismisses the strange warm feeling as gratitude: he was just thankful, that's all.
you see, taehyung's too gullible, too naive; the littlest bit of niceness shown from someone makes taehyung wanna open up his heart eternally for them — which results in painful heartbreak when they do him over. he's grown up into an adult without once knowing how to tell the difference between an enemy and a friend.
he doesn't have much experience with the world outside his office at kim industries and it sucks at times, times like right now when all he wants to do is thank jungkook a million times and like him but he can't do that because jeon jungkook is his godamn kidnapper, his 'scary' kidnapper who freely carries around two fucking m9 guns in his dora the explorer backpack, haphazardly threatening to kill people every fifteen minutes — five minutes if he's pissed off. he's someone taehyung's not supposed to like.
taehyung sighs, looks away from his pack of sour sweets and glances at the aforementioned man.
oh, you still haven't thanked him, taehyung remembers randomly after looking at jungkook. better say it now.
taehyung clears his throat, "th–thank you for h–helping me out — you were really good." taehyung mumbles, staring down at the pack of sour gummies sitting on his lap. "i-i mean, you were really good with handling the situation. how did you know what to do?" taehyung asks, gathering himself and feeling genuinely curious.
jungkook takes his time to answer. he breathes in the cigarette, drawing the fumes into his lungs for a couple of seconds before slowly parting his lips to allow white tendrils to escape and form a bite sized pale cloud in the air.
he finally bothers to speak, "my friend's a therapist; he specialises in phobias."
taehyung doesn't know if he should believe jungkook but he nods nevertheless.
"you ready to leave?" jungkook asks, dropping his cigarette on to the concrete below and grinding it to bits under his heel.
taehyung folds up the open part of the sour gummies packet and pushes the item into the plastic bag hanging from the motorcycle's handlebars. "yeah," he murmurs, looking up at jungkook.
"alright, we'll leave—" jungkook's phone rings, breaking him off. he pulls the sleek looking device out of his back pocket and reads the name of the caller printed on the lockscreen.
"—uhh, hold on." he mutters, sliding his thumb across the lockscreen to answer the persistent caller.
im glad i thanked him, taehyung thinks as he pulls out the water bottle again. what he did was super nice of him to do — was super nice of a kidnapper to do.
a kidnapper.
right, he's a kidnapper.
drinking and temporarily holding the water in his puffed cheeks, taehyung frowns.
but would a 'normal' kidnapper help me through my panic attack?
would he sit there with me for ten minutes, my face cupped in his hands and tell me that im okay and safe? would he have even helped me out of that suffocating bathroom?
taehyung pauses for a second.
i don't think so.
full of thoughts, taehyung swallows the water in his mouth and takes another few gulps of now lukewarm water.
would a 'normal' kidnapper even allow you to have pee breaks and let you get junk foods? would he even fucking feed you meals?
no.
no, of course he wouldn't. it's probably part of the job description right?? jungkook's boss, the guy who wants me, probably asked for an unharmed and healthy kim taehyung. otherwise why would jeon treat me like. . . like this? yeah. yeah, totally — it's for the job — for the money on offer, nothing else.
. . . but the whole bucket list idea isn't something he does with his victims, he said so himself and i doubt "do a bucket list with kim taehyung whilst bringing the victim to our agreed destination." is part of the job description.
a 'normal' kidnapper wouldn't ask you to make a bucket list and then do them all with you. he wouldn't treat your bloody nosebleed, he wouldn't walk down a road and carry you (taehyung shudders) bridal style under the sweltering sun and he most definitely would not dance in the rain with his victim.
taehyung stares at the back of jungkook's head whilst he takes his call.
he certainly didn't do those things for money.
taehyung looks away, chewing on his lower lip whilst in thought.
but he's not always grudgingly nice; he's knocked you unconscious twice remember (he hit your head with the butt of his gun and another time, he full on fucking chloroformed you)? he kidnapped you, kept you in the boot of a car, tied you up, shot an innocent worker, forced you to wear disgustingly short shorts, held you hostage in unknown rooms and didn't allow you to contact your family at all.
but despite the previously stated bad things jungkook had done to or with taehyung, taehyung can feel something familiar flicker in his stomach — it's a special something that he hasn't felt since he was aged 13 and had went to japan with his father to see the cherry blossoms bloom, it's something he'd last felt when he first laid eyes on touma, a 16 year old beautiful boy and son of a japanese family friend of the kim's.
taehyung and touma hadn't spoken much during taehyung's stay, except say hi and nod to each other in acknowledgement during meetings — nothing mutual sparked between them but taehyung had considered the boy his first proper crush and had allowed delicate winged butterflies to form in his stomach every time touma smiled or looked at him with those hazel eyes.
taehyung smiles at the thought of touma — god, was he pretty. he had the most thickest and longest eyelashes that'd fan out above his eyes — lining them. and, fuck, his eyes were so damn pretty and——
wait.
what?
"delicate winged butterflies"?
butterflies at the thought of touma? understandable.
but butterflies at the thought of jungkook??what the fuck.
mildly horrified, taehyung looks over at jungkook with big eyes, his brown irises running over jungkook's features with shock whilst the other conversed on the phone in low tones.
jungkook must've felt taehyung's eyes on him, because he turns around to look at the boy with a questioning look on his face. "what?" he mouths.
under jungkook's sharp brown eyed gaze, a couple more butterflies appear. oh dear god, no, taehyung groans inside his head.
ive never really noticed but he's got pretty eyes, taehyung randomly thinks before hurriedly suppressing the thought to the back of his mind, squashing the idea of liking jungkook's eyes into a ball and shoving it into a corner of his head.
embarrassed at being caught staring by jungkook and the slow swarm of butterflies erupting in his chest, taehyung quickly shakes his head and looks away to hide the pink blossoming on the apples of his cheeks. jungkook frowns at this action but turns away, continuing to talk on the phone.
once jungkook turns away, taehyung thanks him mentally one more time; again, thank you for helping me out when you didn't need to and thank you for buying me food. please take back your butterflies soon though, they're starting to make me feel sick, a stressed out taehyung indirectly says to jungkook as he fiddles with the hem of his shirt, willing the butterflies to die down.
+
returning back to their allocated seats on the motorcycle, they drive down the road at a fast speed and down a busy highway, narrowly dodging and overcoming incoming cars — some things that should distract taehyung from his taboo thoughts but they don't. instead, he finds himself ignoring the wind brushing through his hair, the sights all around him and the deafening roar of the engine, and constantly thinks back to his earlier thoughts, the thought of possibly liking—
oh my god, don't say it.
because you definitely do not like. . .
taehyung gulps.
jeon jungkook.
he's your freaking kidnapper: you can't like him that way –– WHATEVER WAY, you just can't like him.
i just feel grateful because jungkook helped me out, i don't feel anything else. mhm.
a tiny sarcastic voice breaks into his mind, interrupting his thoughts, yeah, 'cause gratitude towards someone causes butterflies to appear in your stomach, right [!]?
taehyung swallows thickly, trying to rid the hardening lump sitting at the back of his throat.
those weren't butterflies — they were just the after effects of my panic attack. yeah. just after effects. mhm.
forget about it, taehyung.