Chapter Nine (Kyler's POV)
Fantastic.
For the first time in almost six years, I'd finally told someone everything. The pain, the agony, the humilitation caused by my stay with Jack Runningwolf. I told Remi and the entire time, he watched me, resisting the urge to make expressions. I didn't know if he was trying to hide his disgust or pity.
I wouldn't find out until I saw him again. Even then, we'd be focused on destroying Ash once and for all and right afterwards, I had a plan of my own.
I was going to kill Ash. Finish him off, then run into the woods back toward the plantation, steal a pair of keys and a bike, then take off.
I know, I know.
It was a rotten thing to plan behind everyone's back, but I had enough of everyone's pity and irritation with me. Oh, and everyone irritating me. That too. I was just one of those people who had to be alone to survive. Taking someone with me would only get me killed, or worse.
I shuddered to think about it as I parked the bike in the barn, dropping the riding jacket on one of the hooks nearby before heading up the steps. As soon as I opened the door, I was bombarded. Scythe had been leaning against the wall outside the kitchen, talking to someone until he saw me open the door and his eyes flared.
"Where the hell have you been?!" He demanded angrily. I stiffened.
"Don't yell at me." I snapped automatically. Scythe glared.
"I have every right to yell at you. Where have you been all day? You did this yesterday too. I wake up every night to you kicking and screaming, then you leave all day. Kyler, you may not realize it, but you've practically become a part of this family and when you're stressed, I'm stressed." He responded heatedly. I glared back at him.
"I have not. I'm your temporary boarder." I threw back, surprised at how venomous my voice sounded. Was this really the thanks he deserved for taking me in by his own free will? Where was my sense today? First I go along with Remi's plan, then I spew everything to him, now I'm throwing Scythe's hospitality in his face, which was currently turning a little red.
"If that's true, pay me for the room. Pay me for the electricity you use. Pay me for the plumbing. Why don't you try getting a job or doing something other than sneaking off every day? This is a big place with lots of people, plenty of things to do around here that I would appreciate having done." Scythe argued.
"I'm not a maid," I snapped, "I don't work. I can't... work. And don't worry about me! After tonight, you won't be seeing me anymore." I headed upstairs past him, only to hear his footfalls on the steps behind me, making me speed up as I bolted for my room, but Scythe grabbed my arm and twirled me around so I hit the wall nearest to me. I snapped my head to glare at Scythe, seeing him looking at me in utter disbelief.
"What're you talking about? Where're you going?" He demanded.
"China," I answered sarcastically, "It's really none of your business. If you have so much work to do around here, why don't you do it yourself? And, you know what? While I'm at it, what's with this whole caring big brother act? I don't associate myself with werewolves, so get your hands off me before I rip them off with my teeth." I narrowed my eyes, hissing at him so he got the message.
Thankfully, he let go and stepped back to stare at me as if he couldn't believe what was happening. He was silent for a moment and I felt like my feet wouldn't budge. It was like I was curious about his reaction to my explosing causing his to backfire. Finally, he spoke.
"Kyler, what's going on? I'm not screwing around with you, I'm serious. What's happening that you aren't telling me?" He asked.
"Another rat." I lied. Scythe rolled his eyes.
"Sure."
"Well," I drawled, thinking about it carefully as I shrugged, "You could call it a rat. A really big ugly hairy rat that's a stubborn jackass." Scythe frowned for a moment, cocking his head like he was trying to think of people with that description. Unfortunately, his conclusion was off the mark- and surprisingly offensive.
"Don't tell me it's Remi." He stated. I paused. This seemed like a good place to fib and drop the conversation.
"So what?" I responded, then whirled to leave, but Scythe caught me again. This time, I hissed in his face and he lunged back from me, scowling.
"Kyler, don't hurt Remi. He's had enough shit on his plate without you crushing him into dust."
"Someone already did that for me."
"Kyler."
"I really, seriously don't want to talk about that goody goody Prince Charming. News flash," I snapped, waving my hands dramatically, "I'm not fucking Cinderella!" Scythe glared at me, putting his hands on his hips in a way that meant a lecture was about to be thrown in my face.
"You want a news flash? I'll give you a news flash and here's the headline: Remi Chose You As His Mate! That's why he's doing everything he can to be near you, to help you, to get you to like him, but you keep throwing it back in his face. Do you have any idea how much it hurts to have your mate reject you? Your mate isn't just another boyfriend or quick fuck, Kyler. Your mate is your soulmate. Your other half. The one you will die with, the one you will go to Paradise with, and the one you will be reborn with." He explained angrily.
I felt like I was pierced with a hot rod through my chest.
Mate?
Remi chose me?
Well, jeez. That just made everything just official, now didn't it!
"Gee, where've I heard that before," I mused bitterly, "Oh yea! Didn't another werewolf come along and tell me the same damn thing before? What makes Remi different?"
"Because Remi actually loves you." Scythe threw back. I flinched at his words. Not because they hurt, not because it was a lie.
Because I knew it was true.
Remi loved me.
I felt it every time he came near me. The sweet heat rolling off him in waves, the smiles he gave me, the hope, the relief. All of it and it was teasing me, wearing me down and it scared me. It was happening all over again, the heavy fall toward the pit I would never be able to crawl out of again.
If I fell for Remi and it hurt me, it would kill me.
I wouldn't be able to fight anymore.
At the same time, I wanted to try. I wanted to see if maybe Remi was different. I surprised myself with that thought.
It was the honest truth, though.
All this time I kept running away from it because I was scared that it was just another Jack accident waiting to happen, but it wasn't. I kept telling myself I just thought of Remi as an acquaintance or business partner, or even a friend, but he was so much more than that.
Remi was my mate.
And right now, there was nowhere else I rather be than with him.
Him and his stinky room and his ugly jeans and his silly grins.
"I have to go." I told Scythe suddenly, turning around. Scythe blinked, looking caught off guard.
"Again? Were you even listening to me-"
"I'm going to Remi's. I'll be back in a few hours." I said, brushing past him and heading for the stairs. Scythe whirled around.
"Wait, wait! I don't get it-"
"Maybe you're not as stupid as you look, Scythe." I stated aloud, turning back to look at him. He rolled his eyes, folding his arms over his chest.
"Gee, thanks. Allow me to notify my husband. Still not the point-"
"Will you shut up so I can go, mom?"
"You better be back or I'll ground you."
"We'll see about that." I replied, then flew down the stairs, snagging the keys again before I rushed out to the bike. I wasted not a second in hopping on, not even grabbing the helmet as I started the bike. I shot down the driveway at a dangerous speed before screeching out onto the main road, taking it all the way into town. It was dark by the time I reached Remi's house in the woods behind The Mockingbird.
I parked the bike in the driveway before coming around to the front door, moving carefully.
It wasn't because I didn't trust Remi, no.
I didn't trust that Luc guy.
He was a total creep, watching me like I was some kind of...
Pet. The thought made me feel icy cold inside, but I was used to people looking at me like a juicy steak tossed in front of them. Maybe it was one of the reasons that I dismissed Remi at first, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that Remi treated me like an actual person, not a pet or a toy.
The thought made me ache for him further.
I approached the door and just when I was about to knock, it opened to reveal Luc.
Oh, Goddess, why?
"Uh." I said stupidly. Wow. Several years of polishing my wit and "uh" was the best I had? Obviously my brain shut down once it came to affection.
"Remi's upstairs," Luc responded, the corner of his lip curling in a crooked smirk that sent a chill down my spine, "Come on in." He stepped aside, gesturing for me to enter. I walked past him quickly for the stairs. I didn't even answer his 'what did you want' question as I rushed for Remi's room, remembering that it was somewhere to the left.
I knocked on the first door I came to, waited as I heard shuffling and a thump.
"Shit." Came Remi's curse. I raised an eyebrow, then watched as the door opened. Remi stood there, wearing only a pair of plaid pajama pants- and Goddess Almighty, there wasn't a single hole in them. Of course, his torso was rather attractive with rippling muscles that just begged to be touched. His brilliant green eyes widened in surprise.
"Kyler?" He asked, as if trying to confirm a dream.
So, just to make this even more sappy and entertaining for me -and him- I stepped up to him. Remi looked even more surprised.
"I'm sleeping." He concluded. I hesitated, then slowly reached up, squeezing my eyes shut as I brushed my fingertips across his cheeks. I felt goosebumps rising on my skin as the feel of his soft skin and his stubble tickling my fingers. I peeked my eyes open to look up at him. He was staring at me with green eyes that told me everything.
I held my breath for a second.
I hadn't kissed someone willingly in a while.
When I had kissed Jack, I remembered the faint doubt I had that I was doing something wrong, that Jack would hate me.
With Remi, I knew what I was doing and I knew that Remi would love me now, and later, and forever.
The thought made a lump form in my throat so before it could give way to anything, I rose on my toes and pressed my lips to Remi's, sliding my hands back through his hair to cup his neck and pull him down towards me.
His lips were so smooth and soft. They felt so perfect, so right. I felt his breath on my lips as I slowly pulled away, looking up to see Remi still staring at me.
"Kyler?" He asked again. I think he was pretty sure that he was sleeping, but the kiss sort of broke any thoughts of it.
"I'm your mate." I answered. Remi blinked again and seemed to snap back to reality. He poked his head out of his room, looking around quickly before gesturing for me to come in, which I did right away. He shut and locked the door behind me before turning to face me as I walked over to his bed, plopping down beside a pile of laundry that smelled like sweat and booze.
Blegh.
I liked it.
I looked up to see Remi staring at me.
"You came back. I mean, I knew you would because of Ash and everything, but you came back and you kissed me."
"We established that," I drawled, then shrugged, leaning back on my hands, "Unless you wanted to elaborate on that part, in which case, I'll be glad to do it again." Remi looked utterly confused for a second, then grimaced.
"You're not doing the same thing you did before, are you? The whole 'fuck me' thing? Because if you are-"
"Remi, shut up and sit down. I just... want to talk about it first. We'll get to the fun parts later." I said calmly, gesturing for him to come sit by me. He didn't take his eyes off me as he walked over, shoving everything onto the floor and sitting beside me.
I didn't look at him for a while, then forced myself to because I had to look at him when I said this. If I didn't, I'd regret it.
"So, I know this guy. He's a real pain in the ass, but he's really smart too. Maybe that's why he's a pain in the ass... And he said something that made sense to me. He said a mate isn't just your boyfriend. A mate is your soulmate. Your other half. Your everything. And, I'll admit. I thought he was pretty stupid when he said that, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized he was right. I mean, I faltered with you. I thought I hated you, honestly, but I didn't. I couldn't no matter how much I tried, no offense."
"None taken." Remi answered, his tone in disbelief as I continued my cheesy confession.
"Anyway... What I'm trying to say without this sounding like a soap opera drama is... I'm going to try this. I like you. Well, maybe more than like." I admitted quietly, watching Remi's green eyes practically glow.
"You're serious?" He asked after a moment of silence.
"April Fools in June isn't my style, Rem." I retorted. Remi stared at me for the longest time and I thought he was going to reject me for a second, which made my heart stop until he smiled slowly, his muscles relaxing.
"Thank you, Kyler... You won't regret it, I promise." He murmured. I studied his face for a moment, then leaned forward, kissing him against the lips. I felt a thrill rush through me. I never thought kissing someone would excite me this much.
"We can do the fun stuff now if you want." I said against his lips, shivering at the feel of his breath mingling with mine.
"What about Ash?" Remi breathed, reaching up very gently to stroke my cheek. It was heaven to feel his gentle, soft fingers touching my bare skin. My groin began to ache at the thought of him touching more of me.
"He can rot in Hell." I answered, then captured Remi's lips, feeling a moan slip out at the feel of his tongue brushing against mine as I invaded his mouth. We sat there for a second, just kissing before I very slowly turned, pushing him back on the bed, without once breaking our kiss.
I ran my hands over Remi's bare chest, keeping my eyes closed now. I memorized every dip and curve in his toned muscles, moaning as his lips clamped on my tongue to suck before I pulled my lips away to breath deeply. I nibbled my way down his throat, shivering at the feel of his hands sliding down my back before snaking up my shirt.
His hands were hot against my skin and I purred as he ran them up and down my spine. I scooted back on his lap, unbuttoning
"Kyler?"
"Hm?" I asked, undoing the last button. Remi didn't reply as he was finally free from the confines of his pants. I dipped my head down, eyes closed the entire time. It was out of habit. When everything was dark, it seemed like feeling was all I had. I took Remi into my mouth, my hands on his thighs and gripping as I licked the tip of him.
He moaned raggedly, his hand reaching down to stroke my hair. I shivered at his fingers sliding through my hair and sucked on him, working my mouth to take him in deeper. I focused on the feel of his skin, the sound of his moans pouring past his lips.
I wasn't proud to say that I knew enough about sex to make some people cringe.
I knew what to do, how to do it, and if it made the person feel good. It was almost like another homework assignment to me, but at the same time, something about this felt different. Despite the main goal of making Remi feel good, I felt good just making him feel good. Did that make any sense?
I moaned around him, working my tongue before Remi tipped his head back and growled, his fingers tensing in my hair. I didn't care if he pulled on it. I've had my hair pulled on plenty of times to the point that it hardly bothered me anymore. That and Remi didn't jerk my hair so strands ripped out, he just tugged as he came, long and hard, right into my mouth.
I leaned away from him, resisting the urge to cough as I reached up, wiping the rest into my mouth and licking my lips as I swallowed. I didn't have a choice, I remembered. Before, whenever someone came in my mouth, I had to swallow. If I didn't, I'd have to do it over again.
"Sorry." Remi apologized, studying my expression as I shuddered at the taste. I shook my head.
"It's fine." I was about to say I'm used to it, but that would be a major turn off. Although, I didn't really have to say it because Remi seemed to pick up on the silent sentence. His expression grew a bit sad and he reached out, taking my face in his hands.
"Kyler, this isn't just about me. This is about you too."
"I know."
"Do you?"
"I think." I replied honestly, averting my eyes for a second. Remi locked eyes with me, like he was trying to read me before he leaned in and kissed me very gently on the lips.
"Let me make you happy too." He murmured. I felt an excited chill go down my spine when he said that. In a few seconds, he was shifting our positions so I was on the bottom. I was used to that, but I was used to be bound and blinded, and still not the one getting the pleasure.
You do this for me. Not the other way around. Ash said to me once. It was involuntarily burned into my brain.
But Remi seemed intent on brushing that away as he unbuttoned my shirt. At first, I was tense, clenching my fists beside either side of my head. His fingers worked the buttons all the way down before he slid it off my shoulders, tossing it onto a lamp on his nightstand. I closed my eyes again tightly on impulse as Remi went to unzip my jeans, but he stopped.
"Kyler, open your eyes." He said gently, his knuckles brushing my cheeks. I hesitated for a second, then peeked my eyes open past my lashes to see Remi smiling at me. I kept my eyes open for just a bit longer, because -like I said- I was used to just darkness whenever I had sex.
I was used to being blind. Being tied down. Being forced.
This time, I was willingly lying there, waiting for him to do something and it drove me crazy. For several different reasons, one of which being that my groin was aching hotly and I really wish he'd just unzip my jeans already. At the same time, I was ashamed to admit that, despite all the bravado talk about wanting to try Remi, I was still scared.
I haven't had any kind of sex since I left Jack's place.
This was going to hurt, I know it was. It always did, no matter how often it was done to me.
Remi unzipped my pants and pulled them away along with my underwear. I held my breath and shut my eyes again. I felt so embarrassed for some reason. I mean, I wasn't pure. I wasn't a virgin. I wasn't innocent. I was tainted.
"Kyler, open your eyes." Remi reminded.
"Uh, I prefer it dark." I answered, surprised by how my voice cracked. There was a short moment of silence before I felt Remi hovering over me, his eyes on my face before I felt his lips touch my forehead, his fingers brushing the hair out of my face. I peeked an eye open to see him kissing me again.
"I'm not going to hurt you, Kyler. I promise... I would die before ever hurting you. I want to make you feel beautiful, make you feel breathless."
"You got one out of two already done." I managed, feeling like the oxygen in my lungs was being sucked out by his kisses. He smiled, then kissed my nose and stroked my hair a little more. He just did this for a while. Kissed me all over my face; On my nose, my lips, my cheeks, my forehead, my eyelids. The entire time he pet my hair in a soothing manner that had me relaxing. I felt myself purring at his touch as he slid one hand down my side, his lips moving lower as he kissed a trail down my throat to my chest.
His lips pressed down on one of my nipples, making me tense again, but not out of fear. Out of pleasure. I moaned as his tongue slid out and toyed with the tender bud, his other hand sliding along my thigh and massaging its way to my groin.
I was still admittedly scared, but I was more eager now.
Remi was gentle and careful. I wanted to shut my eyes, but now I was watching him suck on my nipples and his hand cupped between my legs, making me arch my back a little and clamp my legs on either side of him. He stroked me and gave gentle tugs that made me ache for more.
"Remi..." I was surprised to hear his name seep past my lips as a moan. I saw goosebumps rise on Remi's skin as he kissed a path down my stomach and to my groin, where he kissed the tip of me. I moaned, tossing my head about for a second as he sucked on me, his head bobbing up and down.
It didn't take long for me to feel the knotting pleasure coiling inside me, bursting apart as I gasped in release, my body trembling as I writhed for a moment, then slumped to the bed in defeat.
"Not finished." Remi told me as he licked his lower lip, then tilted my hips up so he was nuzzling me down there. I shivered, gripping the sheets in my fists now as his tongue tormented me, inside and out. I mewled, my toes curling as his tongue stroked me and his hands massaged my thighs.
The room felt like it was spinning in an endless dance of pleasure. No one was this gentle with me before, this concentrated on making me feel good.
It felt like a dream.
A really, really nice dream.
"Remi, please..." I pleaded, sucking in sharp breathes as my cock twitched in need, my hips aching from the awkward position I was in. Remi moved away from me a bit, but pulled me into a sitting position in his lap.
"I'm doing all the work." Remi murmured against my lips, like it pleased him. I just moaned in response as his hands traveled down my back to cup my ass. I kissed his lips gently, inhaling the smell that was unique to him as he lowered me down on top of him.
I was used to being invaded from behind. I hated thinking about that, but with Remi, it felt okay. It still hurt as it filled me, but emotionally, I felt surprisingly stable. He wasn't forcing me.
I gasped as I sat in his lap, completely filled with him as he wrapped his arms around me, breathing hotly against my throat, his tongue dragging along to the underside of my ear. I mewled and gripped him to me tightly, my legs around his waist as I felt him thrusting inside me.
Every part of me quivered with need, ached with want. I suddenly didn't feel hollow anymore. I felt like something had filled the void in me. And that something was Remi.
I moaned, clenching my fists against Remi's back as sweat clung to our bodies, the sound of our breathes coming in short desperate pants and skin smacking together. I writhed, purring as Remi ran his hands up and down my back, pulling me up and bringing me back down on him, piercing me.
I felt like the room was spinning in one big party of ecstasy, coiling inside me again as a knot. I panted as everything in me snapped. It was so hard to catch my breath, so I just moaned and listened to Remi's breathes coming in sharp pants against my ear as he held me against him tightly, like he was afraid to lose me.
Something about that made me burst again.
All of the adrenaline was sucked out of me, all the energy. I wanted to sleep. I fell on the bed beside Remi. For a second, instinct told me to leave. After all, there was never cuddling or hugging after sex before, but Remi's arms went around me and I remembered.
I wasn't with Jack. I wasn't with Ash.
I was with Remi.
Remi wasn't going to tell me what I did wrong and tell me to leave. He was staying right here, holding me so tight, I felt like my ribs were going to crack. It was one of the best feelings in the world.
His breath was warm on my head as he held me against his hard chest, his big arms encircling me in a safety net. I never wanted to leave this, but all good things come to end, I guess.
Which seriously sucks.
Not more than five minutes later did we hear someone knocking on the door. I looked up at Remi as he sighed, rolling onto his back, but still keeping an arm around me.
"What?" He asked, obviously irritated at being interrupted. I propped myself up, frowning as silence followed before Remi heaved himself up into a sitting position.
"It's Rosabel," Remi's sister spoke, "It's almost time. We should probably leave now."
"Oh," Remi grimaced, turning to me, "We'll be right out."
"All right. Ty and Sylvian are here and we updated them. We'll be waiting downstairs." Rosabel replied and left. Remi studied my face and I could sense the worry. I couldn't see why. It was going to be fine. Ash would die and I wouldn't leave.
"What's that look for?" I asked.
"Nothing..." Remi's voice trailed. I scowled.
"Well, gee. Thanks. I tell you everything now and you aren't gonna tell me what's on your mind?" I asked in irritation. Remi shook his head, resting an elbow on his knee.
"It's really nothing. I was just... doubtful for a second."
"Doubtful?"
"Kyler, what if Ash doesn't die?"
"He will."
"What if he doesn't?"
"He will," I snapped, then looked at Remi seriously, "I didn't come this far to let Ash slip through my fingers. I'll kill him even if I have to hunt him down and rip him to pieces with my bare hands. I finally found something worth living for and I'm not letting someone like Ash get in my way." Remi stared at me for the longest time, then his expression softened.
He leaned forward and kissed me gently on the lips, then pulled back to study my eyes.
"Then let's go have a vampire barbeque."