"Shamus stop stepping on my toes." It's beginning to hurt.
"Well if you let me lead maybe I wouldn't step on your big feet." His annoyance at the whole situation is felt by me also.
"You need to believe you can lead a female Shamus, pretend she's a female. Charlie, you need to try and relax in his grip. He can't lead you if you don't allow yourself to be led." Aunt Meela's voice is giving us harsh criticism of our movement.
Frustration is breathing out; I can feel myself becoming upset at this. I can't be taught this.
My mother is tapping me on the shoulder as she lets Shamus take her hand.
"Shamus try with me." I can see how my mother makes her body boneless so Shamus effortlessly leads her in the dance, now with no toes being stepped on.
"See Charlie, all you need to do is relax in his grip." Aunt Meela has her hands on my shoulders.
"It's not easy." Huffing the exhaled words out.
"Somehow you're going to need to find a happy medium. Because a male always will want his female to follow him in a dance." Aunt Meela is looking towards Odin who's been watching, deliberately he stretches himself, even yawning slightly out of boredom.
Taking my hands in her's, "let me show you, Charlie." Her hips start to sway back and forth, gliding effortlessly.
"Do what I do," Her voice firm, yet caring. She puts my hands on her hips, "do what I do."
Imitation of movement,
Ebb, flow of the slow beat has both of us moving our bodies to the music, gradually Aunt Meela guiding my footsteps as I pay attention to her. Now her shoulders are moving with hips that seem effortlessly controlled. Before long she has me moving along the floor in a smooth gliding grace.
Footsteps are matching the pulse of the vibration of melody. Glancing in Odin direction he's no longer the bored male who's come to watch our practice. I'm not sure he was expecting dance lessons this time. He's always watching our play fighting or the art of knives but never has he witnessed this.
It was my mother and Aunt Meela's idea once they saw he was here and watching. To change up the atmosphere, they said. The more we dance together, the more the atmosphere does change into a more electrified place.
The static of his mood disturbs the current of air.
Fine arm hairs are starting to tickle my skin on how they are leaning Odin's way when Aunt Meela brings us closer to him. When she fades our steps away, a fine grumble of sound percusses out in a low tone from his chest. When she brings us closer to him this time she leans me into him, so he has to take a step back, then she pulls me back so that outstretching hand of his can't touch me.
Coiled steel
Odin's body is ready to spring at any moment; it's a leery feeling to be watched with that much intensity. A current of heat travels the length of my nerve ending until it settles deep into the root, honing a divine vibration of overwhelming desire.
His total presence consumes me on the same level as my plants; it's a challenge to try to remain unaffected by him.
"No looking at him, until the last word I say is Charlie." Aunt Meela's words just a hint of sound as we are on the other side of the room. A nod in understanding. Our progression towards him is slow; she's keeping my back to him, my movements matching her's in complete unison. The heat trail on my backside ignites deep understanding that Odin is watching the sway of me. Another deepening sound from the base of him is a sound I'm coming to realize is want.
A male wolf's extreme want is what I'm listening too.
The language of him is starting to unveil for me to understand in depth, I lacked this knowledge when I was younger.
With a pausing motion, Aunt Meela holds our position right in front of Odin, "would you like to dance with Charlie?" That's when I look up meeting those ancient forest greens. A stuttering moment that causes the pulse inside my chest to still. The big vein on Odin's neck ceasing it's beating rhythm as well. Both of us motionless, while the pupils in his eyes dilate the black now starting to consume the darkening green.
When he does pull his vision away from me, it falls accusingly at my Aunt. Stepping close, oh so close he approaches her, his head bending down, so his lips are close to her ear. She seems to be cast in the shadow of him.
"I have been trained since birth, Luna. I understand what you are doing, and it won't work, I will never dishonor my pack, myself and most importantly Charlie in that way." Odin's words are spoken low, but the room rumbles with the weight being thrown from him. With one last look, he turns himself from us, walking away.
"Charlie should be learning the important things, instead of the things she has no hope in accomplishing." Those last words trail outside with him as the door shuts behind him.
Mom and Aunt Meela regarding one another solemnly, while Shamus looks like he understands what's going on, I'll have to discuss this with him at a more private time.
Our dance lesson completed, mom and Aunt Meela in deep conversation arm in arm walking away. The twins are entering the facility breathless and sweaty from a hard run.
"How was dance lesson?" Keegan laughs out smugly, almost taunting us.
"Fine." Shamus taking a step towards him and the laughter fades from his smile. Paley takes a step to stand side by side his brother, I take my step to stand shoulder to shoulder with Shamus except my shoulder touches the base of his triceps. He's grown taller than me since his shift, and still growing in length, he has yet to fill out, holding the leanness of a newly shifted male, the Twins have at least a solid thirty pounds of muscle on him.
He's just as tall as Paley now, no longer does he need to look up to his older cousin.
Taking a step sideways, Shamus does the same thing, Paley and Keegan go back to back as we start to track them in a circle. A change in intensity and pitch to the way we stalk them now.
Their offensive tactics are now becoming a defensive.
Shamus able to flash fang their way leaves a light smile on my face. He still can't beat them, not holding that power yet, but he tries every opportunity he gets to show them who he will become.
A snarling warning growl from Paley's chest sound out to keep our distance, we give him our own turbulent reply back that this time we won't cow down. Shoulders crouched slightly, body balanced on the pads of our feet, head shifting with any kind of moment. Posturing on both sides, they are no turn tails, they have dominated our juvenile wolves for the longest of times and they will not go down without a need for teeth to come out.
Dad and Uncle Grey are walking into the facility, looking like they just went out on their long run, always training together in the afternoons. Dad's nose lifting up taking in the scent before his mood changes. He always holds an irritation within him when he can smell that Odin's been around.
"Where is he?" Dad speaking the question to me. The last time Odin saw me was in my bedroom, dad was the one to get wake me up for early morning training, when he came in he went ballistic. The smell made him shift just like mom did when Odin first gave me the mark of his Pack along my cheek. The ferocious wolf's anger raged, laying such strong territorial markings down in the corner that it made my skin side gag but the fur side took note. I understood it once explained that it was for Odin to comprehend that I'm still property of my father's territory and not Odin's.
Odin's inappropriateness won't be tolerated by my father.
I had to sleep in Shamus's room for a few days while he slept on the floor. When Odin came to visit me when the scent of fall was heavy in the air, Odin laying down his own territory marking, right over top of my father's. I thought that I knew my father's Alpha's rage but this was beyond what I've ever been exposed to. His Alpha Wolf completely losing himself to the wild, pure power descending within the walls of our home. My mother's wolf having to make an appearance to settle the snarling malignant vengeance of being challenged over his offspring down.
"He left." Odin's visits are becoming more frequently, except I know that he never visits when the deep freeze of winter begins. I wonder if it's too hard to make the trek from the Far North to our pack during that time. My grandmother says that she has never experienced that kind of cold anywhere else. I asked why would you ever want to live there then? She told me that the wintertime is when the pack looks forward to the most, so much to do when the season hits.
"How was dance lesson's?" Dad looking at Shamus with a teasing face.
"Fine." His answer back while eyeballing Paley down. Both males still posturing intent to fight even with my father and Uncle present.
"Were you able to learn to follow this time, Charlie?" Uncle Grey's voice sounding cheerful.
"She was able to follow Mom." Shamus telling his father of his mother's accomplishments. No one in the pack has been able to lead me, not even my own father or mother could convince the wolf to follow them. She's beginning to get too ambitious for her own good, challenging them little by little in her own testing ways. I've worn the hard lessons of my mother's wolf good advice to stand down and my father's wolf that he is still the Alpha.
"What's going on here?" Uncle Grey noticing the menacing current between his son and his nephew.
"Nothing," both Paley and Shamus saying in unison."
"It doesn't look like nothing to me." Dad's voice sounding off.
"We were just leaving." Shamus walking away but freezes as soon as the sound comes out of Paley's mouth, it's a decibel of sound that's barely heard, more of a mocking laugh.
Shamus is on Paley fast, furious and with teeth descending. His wild strumming through him in the laws of domination. His fist flies fast while Keegan goes to jump in my father's hand coming down on his shoulder that's rounded with muscles but looks small compared how much space my dad's hand occupies on his skin.
The battle begins fair.
No telling the outcome both of them not conceding to the other, fists, feet, and teeth start to open up skin, painting the mats with a river of blood. Not letting up Shamus continues onwards, a raving madness consuming the nature of him, while Paley skilled with fighting now, having many years on Shamus.
Fang against fang, neither curving their neck to the other. Dad and Uncle Grey watching the fight and not only that giving each wolf tips of defense or offensive tactics. Protect your throat, block the kick.
A whimper from Keegan when Paley takes a tumbling step back after a merciless elbow that smashes to his face, Shamus is quick, taking the opportunity to jump on top of Paley. It's punch after punch to the face. Paley able to twist his body underneath Shamus who is much lighter shakes him off. Paley's right eye swelled shut, while Shamus regroups himself.
This is more than fighting for Shamus, I know him. He's had his fill of those two and now it's his stand to have Paley bend his neck to him. The longer the fight goes on the more winded they become, slower in movement. Blood lost now on both sides.
What Shamus lacks in sheer weight he makes up in speed and he's quick with striking then leaping clear. But for the quickness that Shamus has Paley makes up in strength, his hits are heard loud and clear and I feel it as if I'm getting hit. Shamus shakes his head often after a few grueling punches to the side, spitting out blood.
When the opportunity strikes Shamus presses Paley and is able to roll him on his back, his teeth go straight for the throat of life as we all have been taught. Paley stills completely into submission. Not moving, he's curves his neck in a silent expression of submission.
When Shamus angles his head up, blood dripping off his chin he smiles at me with all his teeth. I give him my own smile back showcasing every tooth I have.
Uncle Grey going to Shamus, looking him up and down with a proud smile. Dad ruffling Shamus's chin length hair that's a mess of tangles and already drying in clumps with the blood it holds.
Dad's hand extends to Paley who looks shaken slightly, Keegan going over to his brother sniffing him. No words are used but I think silently they are speaking to each other.
The months following the confrontation, the Destructo Twins give us the regard we have won, no longer the tormentors of the past but comrades of our future. A shift happening Shamus on my right, the twins flanking right and left in their future positions. At times when coming back from foraging it hits me when seeing them walking to the facility, Shamus leading, the twins flanking left and right and I understand in those moments that's how it will be for them if I go with Odin back to his pack.
I don't want to leave this, I don't want to be away from my parent, from my cousins, from the forest I have come to know every square inch of. I know exactly where to go for what I need. I know the aches and pain of most pack member, studying in the art of birthing wolves. Lana the healer starting to teach me the way of souls.
Confessing to her one day that while I was really quiet deep in the forest looking for the mushrooms Lana needs to take her to the soul realm that I could hear a voice on the current of the wind tickling the inside of my ears.
Moon born, the words chanting over and over again.
Lana having a conversation with the unknown. When she does this the hair on the back of my neck rises high and a skittishness is wanting me to turn tail and run out of the cabin as fast as the wind can gust.
"You were born for greater things than your mind has an understanding for. Soon you will get all the answers you need but remember the most loved isn't always what you thought they would be." Her voice sounds out in warning while a distance rumble of thunder makes it seem that something is not happy with our conversation. Lana closes her mouth up and ushers me out to go back to my home.
The winter season rushing in like a gale force wind from the Far North, no longer the trailing warm breath of Autumn but now a frozen up land of ice and snow. The time dragging by with the monotony the early morning training sessions that have only my father present for, Uncle Grey and Shamus coming in a half hour behind us. After training most of my time is within my room cataloging the drying plants. The jars of glass filled with herbs, roots, oils jars with seeds soaking for up to five years before their medicinal benefits can be used.
The fourth journal is almost complete. Thousands of plants committed to memory. During the worst of the winter where nothing willingly goes out into the shortened day, a package is left for me on my dresser.
Opening it up is a big bound book, opening the first page is a message to me.
To my monster
For your long days of winter.
It's a big bound journal, on each page is detailed descriptions of a plant species that are not native to our territory and in between the pages are their pressed leaves. This must have taken him years to do. The more towards the end I get the more advanced the detailing, the sharper the picture. His words scrawled across the blank page. On the bottom of the pages are where they are located on our territory, always saying our territory instead of his.
Lana and me coveting the book, she even lets a little whimper out when I bring it home with me at night.
When the winter wind gives way to the blinking new life of spring is when I hear the crack of a twig behind me, I don't feel Odin's presence until he allows me to. So quiet was his arrival that even nature was not disturbed by his movements. Nothing quieted down, nothing held their positions in fear, nothing noticed him until he was within our space.
It's as if he's been hiking the backcountry for weeks. I can smell the ancient forest on him; it's clinging to his skin, saturating in every pore. A scruff of a beard shadows his face making him look more feral than he already does.
Just coming from Lana the Healer's house myself, we were just soaking the newly picked blossoms of the Callery Pear Tree, rendering them in oil to be strained after a full month of soaking. The strong stench of male is saturated into my fingertips, even with being careful it's still a potent scent. Before coming over again I had to tell my mom what I was doing so she could prepare dad so he doesn't go crazy. He absolutely hates the revolting smell always grumbling under his breath when I have been picking the blossoms. Usually doing it with gloves but it's the little containers that sometimes dribble the oil down the sides, absentmindedly my fingers wipe off and onto my pants. I have to scrub myself raw to get it off my skin, the twins always looking at me funny and now Shamus understands that scent as well.
Yesterday when I came home he lifted his nose in the air, smelling me until furiously spitting the words out, that I have a mate.
Explaining fast what I was doing he still turned in a gruff of a mood stomping away saying he never wants to smell that on me again.
Odin dropping his rucksack, it falls heavily to the ground spilling some of its contents out. A variety of odd leaves in plastic bags that I have never seen before, a few red capped mushrooms that are already starting to dry out are sealed up tight that are doubled bagged. A few scattered exotic nuts tumble out hitting my foot.
"I don't expect a lot from you Charlie, but I do expect you to not have the scent of males on your skin." He sniffs the air, his nose scrunching back while descending teeth take front and center stage.
Odin takes off his shirt revealing a chest that is heavily tattooed in ink that has a shine of dark blacken silver that reflects the moonlight. A mountain lion is covering the right side of his chest; its mouth stretched open in a furious roar reveal large canines.
His left side of his chest has no tattoos that decorate his skin.
When his zipper is pulled down is when I turn my body away not wanting to take his form in.
"I will not tolerate males on you." He's quick with his shift, the wolf standing proud and tall. Arctic silver grey fur ruffles with the breeze. He's a majestic beast that the wolf in me notices with eyes that never gives male wolves a second glance.
None hold her attention, but this one does.
Large paws sinking into the ground were the fresh rain has softened the dirt. He will leave his prints behind. His nose raising, taking in my smell before his large body presses against mine, his cheek rubbing against my hip, the length of him rubbing into me. I stand still for this, knowing better than to move an inch. The wolf's cheek rubbing into my legs, my hip, his scent trail strong.
Once behind me, I can feel a shift of air before I'm pushed down into the ground so quickly I don't have time to break my fall, but he does. He takes the impact with is hands and arms before my body is pressed into the damp earth.
"You like to smell like other males, Charlie?" His lips so close to my ear that it shivers my skin.
Feeling his breathing coming out faster against my throat, a knee keeping me down. His weight is too much for me to fight against.
I can sense rather than see movement behind me, a lower vibration of a growl trembles my body. The wolf inside loving the sound.
His male scent heavy, thick, no mistaking it's distinct odor.
"If you don't mind them all over you then you won't mind me all over you."
A pausing moment where all is held still.
Feeling the way his legs shake, while the electric jolt runs down my spine resting deep within my body.
This awakens something powerful inside me, something dormant that now is blooming open.
Odin gets himself up, not looking at me while he dresses. The sound of paper crumpling is heard.
I'm shocked still. Words sticking in my throat.
"This is your only warning Charlie, next time the head of any male that touches your skin will be mine." He walks away putting his gear back on his shoulders, not looking back he blends into the forest, disappearing from sight.
The only thing left is a few nuts on the ground, and a crumpled up white piece of paper.