Katrina trudged sleepily towards her front door when she heard a gentle knocking, checking the clock in her hallway along the way. Who in the world is pestering me at 10 at night?
“Coming, coming!” she called when the knocking started up again. She stopped to fix her ruffled hair a bit before pulling the door open.
“Sam?” Katrina’s eyes widened a bit, pulling her shaken looking fiance inside. She maneuvered him into her flat, into the lounge and onto her sofa. She sat next to him, rubbing up and down his arm gently until he looked a bit more calmed down. “Not that I’m not always happy to have you home-” Sam cringed a bit at her calling this place his home, but she didn’t notice, “-but I thought you were staying one more night with Colby before you moved and all?”
Sam shook his head, “Something happened. It’s fine. I’ll tell you later. I’m tired.”
Katrina nodded in understanding, kissing the other on his temple. Her nose shriveled in disgust, “You smell of sweat.”
Sam paled, picking at the sleeves on his jacket. “I didn’t take a cab. I walked, uh, jogged...here.”
He nearly sighed in relief when his fiancee bought his words, standing up with a sigh. “Well, if you plan on sleeping in bed you’d better shower.”
She ran her fingers through his hair affectionately, turning and returning to the bedroom with a yawn. As soon as she turned the corner, Sam pulled his phone out.
He hadn’t received any texts or calls. No angry voicemails. No passive aggressive tweets.
Nothing.
Honestly, what was I expecting, though? He dropped his phone onto one of the chairs and shuffled off to the bathroom. He took a quick shower, scrubbing himself thoroughly as if he could rid himself of all the guilt he felt with a cloth and some soap.
He wrapped himself in a towel, quietly making his way into the bedroom where he dressed himself in some of pyjamas he had in Katrina’s drawers. Sam ruffled his hair in the towel to dry it a bit more before crawling into bed, pulling the duvet high up and over his shoulders.
He’d just started to settle down, his nerves calming just for sleep, when an arm was draping over his waist. He jerked slightly, but let his fiancee cuddle him. Until her hand was dropping lower. He sat up quite abruptly, and her hand reeled away in shock. “What? What’s the matter?” she asked frantically, sitting up and placing her hands on his arm. He flinched away and Katrina’s face contorted. “You seemed so stressed. I just thought…”
“No. I’m sorry, I’m just not in the mood,” he breathed. She nodded, looking a bit ashamed. Sam bit his lip, running his fingers over her cheek. “It’s okay. It’s not your fault.” Katrina smiled at the touch, placing her hands over Sam's, scooting close to him and tugging him down for a kiss.
Their lips met softly and sweetly. Katrina pulled away, poking her fiance on the nose gently before she lied back down, cuddling into the pillow. Sam inched down into his spot again, letting the girl cuddle back up to him. He breathed out slowly, a numb feeling on his lips.
_____________________
The next morning, as Sam slept in, Katrina snaked out of the covers as quietly as possible. She nearly tripped and fell on the floor, but caught her balance with a loud huff. She quickly covered her mouth, spinning around to look at her fiance.
Luckily, he stayed happily asleep, making her grin and leave the room silently. She went through her usual morning routine of washing her face, brushing her teeth, and tending to her hair. She decided she’d get dressed when Sam was awake, and padded into the lounge.
She glanced at Sam’s phone sitting in one of the plush chairs, settling herself into the sofa and grabbing her own phone off the side table. She opened her contacts, scrolling a bit until she found just who she was looking for, pressing the call button without hesitation. She gnawed on her thumbnail as she listened to the ring.
“Hello?”
Katrina was a bit taken aback at how broken and hurt the voice sounded- rough, like he’d been crying. Her concern from earlier only doubled now. “Colby, are you alright?”
On the other end of the line, Colby was rubbing his red and swollen eyes. He was used to being let down by Sam at this point, but it didn’t mean it didn’t hurt. Of course he’d cried. He felt absolutely used. Like a second choice. There was no way he could tell Katrina any of this though.
“Yes,” he cleared his throat, sitting up straighter and tugging the white and black duvet closer around his body. “I just woke up is all.” In all honesty, he hadn’t slept at all. He’d stayed awake either crying or watching Netflix on Sam’s TV while curled up in his bed with some kind of comfort food. God, I sound like a teenage girl who’s boyfriend broke up with her.
“Oh,” she accepted this, moving on to her real reason for making the call. “Well, um. Sorry to bother you so early! It’s just that...I thought Sam would be, ah, staying at your place for the night, but he came home very...distressed. Do you know what happened?”
“No.” The reply was sharp and immediate, angry, and silence followed it. Katrina almost thought she’d been hung up on until she heard the slight shuffle of sheets.
“Oh...then-”
“Actually,” he started, and Katrina could hear him getting out of bed. There was a moment of nothing but the sound of fabric until she heard Colby’s voice again.
“I’ve packed his things for him. They’re ready to moved over to your apartment whenever you’re both ready. Alright?” Colby peered around at the boxes he’d packed in his fury last night, and he’d just shoved Sam’s duvet and sheets in along with some clothing. He glanced over at the television. Maybe he could keep that.
“That’s very kind of you to do that,” Katrina whispered. She felt awkward. Colby’s voice had such an angry undertone. She only grew more curious of what had really happened last night between the boys. “I’ll tell him when he wakes up, and we’ll come get his things! He’s probably too stressed to pack anyway. Maybe we-”
“Yeah. Sam should have his key. Just tell him to leave it in the kitchen when you come by.”
The line went dead.
Katrina stared down at her phone, mouth slightly agape. Her attention jerked up to the doorway when she heard a yawn, a very tired looking Sam standing in the entryway.
Then everything collapsed on her. Everything she’d already pieced together. Everything she’d slowly but surely noticed, and she knew it was time to get this over with .
“Sam,” she started, voice low. It grabbed his attention and he made his way over slowly, taking his phone from the chair he’d laid it on and sitting.
“Mhm?”
“I...I need you to tell me what happened between you and Colby last night.”
Sam’s eyes widened a bit, and he let out a curt laugh, “What makes you think-”
“I called him Sam!” her voice had raised in octave, distress obvious in her tone. “He sounded like he’d been crying! And he sounded so angry, he had packed your stuff for you and- and he hung up on me! Then last night you seemed so stressed out and you came home early. There’s no other reason you would leave your best friend on the last night you’d have with him for a while to come home- unless something happened! So, tell me! I’m your fiancee, why can’t you be honest with me!?”
She tried to play dumb. She just didn’t want to lose everything she’d started to build her life on.
Sam watched as she huffed, her face red in frustration. He twiddled with his phone, feeling disappointed with himself for a moment before he looked up at Katrina again. “I’m sorry, Kat. I just… we fought.”
“About?”
“I’ve...forgotten.”
“It was about moving, wasn’t it?”
“Uh, yeah, partially, but-”
She broke.
Katrina huffed a pathetic laugh, making Sam shut up. “I knew it. Sam?”
Sam nodded.
“Can you please be honest with me?”
He nodded again.
“You don’t...want to move in with me, do you?” She looked sad, but her eyes were so genuine that Sam couldn’t bring himself to be dishonest. Katrina had always been so kind, so sweet and pure. He was tired of lying to her face and hurting her.
“No, not really. I’m sorry. That apartment is just- my home, and I-”
“Shh, I know. But...there’s more to it. I know that, too.” Sam looked up at her in shock, blinking owlishly as she took his hands into her own. “When I first got with you, you were very caring. And you still are, but it was something else. There was so much love, it seemed, so much affection and so much passion.”
She shuffled closer, his fingers dancing across Sam’s face gently. He gave her a sad look, not sure where the conversation was going, but he listened attentively.
“I knew you didn’t want to live with me. But I wanted you to try it. So, so selfishly. I wanted to marry you, and be with you. And that all seemed so probable...in the beginning. But even the prettiest roses die.”
She sighed slowly, “However, new roses bloom. Possibly even prettier than before. We can’t stop that. Can’t change that. No matter how much we want to.”
“Katrina...what are you saying?”
“I’m saying do you think I’m stupid? I’m not. I’m a lovestruck fool who wanted her way so she pretended and pretended until she couldn’t anymore. But I noticed the shift Sam. The way your adoring eyes turned away from me, the way your heart sped up over another name, the way you tried too hard to make something work that wouldn’t.”
“Kat, no, I-”
“Hush. Like I said, I’m not blind or daft. Just...I wanted to be happy like every girl does with someone she loves, but I can’t ruin someone’s life.” Katrina stood, pressing a kiss to Sam’s forehead gently. He felt the dams break and the tears pour down his face. “I know he loves you. I know you love him. I know what you did, Sam.”
He felt his heart shatter.
“But I was so daft and so in denial. Not anymore. I don’t want to do it anymore. I would have loved to be Mrs. Golbach, but not like this.” She helped Sam up, “I’ll send your things for you, so don’t worry bout gathering them up, alright? But, please, for the love of god, stop worrying yourself and tell that boy you love him.”
Sam’s eyes watered up and he nodded, quick to grab his phone, keys, coat- and then he paused once he had the essentials, still in his pyjamas with his hair a mess. “I’m sorry.”
“That doesn’t even begin to cut it. And once you’re gone, I’m going to cry. To lash out. To call my friends and bad mouth you. But I can’t change that you don’t love me, and probably never did-”
“I did-”
“-after the first few months.” She smiled, “After I send your things, I think we shouldn’t speak for awhile. I may forgive you sometime. Maybe. But this is how we can both be happy, right? Let’s just stop living this pipe dream that is me and and you.”
Sam was silent and still for a moment before he nodded, making his way towards the dark haired girl so he could hug her. She wrapped her arms around him shakily and he whispered apology after apology. “I’m sorry, too, for playing like I didn’t know for so long.”
Kat pushed him and arm's length away, and smiled, tears of her own spilling down her face. “Alright, you. Go. You have something important to do, don’t you?”
Sam shook his head, wanting to comfort the girl he’d come to adore so much as a friend, but he knew he couldn’t. He’d lost her for now. He made his way outside her flat, turning to glance at her one more time.
“Goodbye, Sam. Perhaps I’ll see you again.”
She shut the door. He actually did run this time.