Spotted: Harper and Trevor in a massive display of PDA. And that's exactly what Holden Frasier is. Pretty. Damn. Angry.
++++++
The car ride back home is completely silent. I sit in the back seat, chewing on my lip, thinking about the night and waiting for someone to say something. We're off the hook, but it doesn't feel like it. This--this feeling right here is why I used to take Xanax.
We pull up to the townhouse and Derek parks. Still silent, we each exit the car and make our way inside.
"So?" I shrug, standing in the foyer as the front door is closed and locked behind us. Are they going to say anything? Or just give me the silent treatment? Surely I'm in trouble. I have to be.
Aunt Lindsey looks at me and sighs. "Are you sure you don't need to go to the hospital?" She asks. There's actually a dull ache in my arm but it's not that bad. Barely noticeable now, actually.
I nod. "I'm sure."
"Okay. We'll talk about this tomorrow, then. Right now I just want you to go upstairs and take a shower. That place was trifling," she dismisses with a wave of her hand. I wonder if that was her first time in a jail. Probably.
I nod and turn around slowly.
"Harper?" She calls when I'm a few stairs up. I turn around and look back at her. Her face is wrinkled up slightly.
"Yes?"
"We're also going to have to talk about Holden tomorrow."
My heart skips a beat. She looks at me like I have every idea what she's talking about and I'm hoping I'm wrong. How would she know?
"Okay," I shrug like it means nothing, and give her a nod. She purses her lips, and with another look, her and Derek walk off, allowing me to continue my ascent up the steps.
When I get upstairs and turn the hall, Elijah is coming out of his room. He's out of his tux and wearing just a plain white t-shirt and basketball shorts. He seemed like he and Becca had fun tonight. I wish I could say the same.
"Hey," he says softly.
"Hey," I say.
"I just wanted to make sure you were alright. Everyone was gone when I got home after dropping Becca off. And then my mom called and told me what happened," he explains. I shrug and then let out an unwarranted sigh. I've never been so exhausted in my life. The concern is etched all over his face.
"I'm alright," I say. He nods.
"Why was Holden here earlier, Harper?" He asks. My eyebrows furrow in surprise. That's definitely not the question I was expecting next.
"He wasn't," I lie, giving him an incredulous look.
"Harper," Elijah repeats sternly. His tone says, "cut the shit." I know because I've heard it quite a few times. "I saw him. Leaving out the back door when I got here."
I guess Holden had decided to wait until Aunt Lindsey and Derek had left so he could slip out unnoticed. Obviously, he failed, not realizing Elijah had come home, or thinking he'd snuck past him.
"And you snitched?" I scoff. Really? How old is he? So Holden was here with me alone; who cares? He's the one with condoms in his nightstand drawer. "Maybe he wanted to, I don't know, talk? He is my ex-boyfriend, after all," I sneer angrily.
Boyfriend, now. But he doesn't know that. He can't know that. I wonder when Trevor and I are going to start dating. Fake-dating. I wonder how long he's going to make me keep it up. Until he decides to keep back with Amber for the 100th time? Until college?
"Right," Elijah nods. "In the middle of the night, while you were here alone. His shirt was inside out when he left, by the way."
In another situation I would've laughed at the thought of Holden sneaking out the back door with his shirt the wrong way, paranoid about getting caught. But Elijah's accusing tone is pissing me off.
"Are you insinuating something?" I ask, narrowing my eyes. Of course he is. I know exactly what he's suggesting. Why is he grilling me? Who does he think he is, to go around making assumptions and then spreading them around to my Aunt and Uncle?
"I'm just saying," he says sternly, "I don't want him here, alone with you at night," he says with complete confidence and sureness. My jaw clenches.
"It's not up to you," I spit.
"No," he agrees. "It's up to my mom and Derek. And they've already told you the same thing, weeks ago."
I roll my eyes. "Listen, Elijah. I don't know what you think you know, or what you told Derek and Aunt Lindsey, but you really need to mind your business. I don't need anyone's permission to see or talk to whoever I want. And I'm certainly not talking about this right now. Good night."
Leaving him in the hall, I walk off and go the bathroom, closing the door behind me and leaning against it.
Fuck.
I push myself off the door, and sigh turning on the shower. The steam heats up the room as I peel my clothes off, trying to force myself to relax. This has been the longest night of my life.
+++++++
I wake up to two quick knocks at my bedroom door. I ignore them, still hazy with sleep, letting myself slip back into nothingness. Again, more knocking. This time I hear the door crack open slowly when I don't respond.
Keeping my eyes closed, I pull my covers over my head in annoyance. I could sleep for a thousand years. And why shouldn't I, after the night I had?
"Harper," a mans voice comes from my doorway, stern but not loud. Derek. "I know you're tired, but your Aunt asked that I wake you. Someone's downstairs to see you."
I groan. The haziness of my sleep is starting to ware off the longer I stay up to listen to Derek's voice. The smell of bacon hits me, wafting in from my cracked door.
"Alright," I say. My voice comes out muffled, as I'm still under my covers. After a few seconds I hear the door close, signaling Derek has left.
I throw the covers from over my head and peek at the alarm clock on my dresser--10:27. Jumping out of bed, I blink a few times. I must've sat up to fast, judging by the black spots in my vision. Standing up, I wince at the cold floor against my bare feet, yawn and stretch.
Who's here to see me? More police officers? April to tell me she can't go through with these? Becca to tell me I missed a great after party? Holden to check on me?
I stay in my pajamas. Silk shorts and a matching silk tank top that are too cute to change out of. As I leave my room and walk down the stairs, I can hear laughter. Aunt Lindsey's and someone I can't recognize--a man? Not Elijah or Derek, though. Not Holden...
Reaching the kitchen, I'm taken back when I see Trevor standing in my kitchen, eating a piece of bacon, flashing a golden-boy smile that reminds me of every Upper East Side boy I've encountered over the last few month--always trying to impress.
"Harper," he smiles. "I was just telling your aunt about how we're going out for brunch."
"Brunch?" I ask snottily. Trevor nods.
We're actually doing this, huh?
I put on a forced smile. "Let me go get dressed."
I spent longer than I had to getting dressed. So long, in fact, that Aunt Lindsey came and knocked on my door to tell me I'm being "rude."
Me. Being rude. To Trevor. I'm rude, after the countless insults he spit out at me last night, only to then blackmail me.
When I settle on a simple dress and heels I grab my purse and head back downstairs with a sigh. Everyone's in the living room now, talking about something that my mind is too busy to focus on. Trevor stand when I come in.
"You look great," he says with a smile, loud enough for everyone to hear. He approaches me and kisses my cheek softly. I grimace for half a second, then mask my disgust with a smile.
"Thanks," I nod.
"Trevor would you mind if Harper meets you outside in a few minutes? I'd like to discuss something with her before you all leave," aunt Lindsey smiles politely.
"Of course," Trevor nods to her. "I'll be at the car," he tells me. I watch him walk completely out the door before turning to Aunt Lindsey and raising my eyebrows.
"Elijah," she starts. He's lingering around, a glass of orange juice in his hand. "Go."
With a small huff, he moves to leave but I stop him.
"No," I say. "Stay, Elijah. You're just as involved."
"Harper," aunt Lindsey starts.
"No," I interrupt her. "No, I wanna know why you all think it's okay to gossip about me and spread falsehoods like I'm not living under the same roof," I assert. "I get enough of that at school, I don't need it following me home." I'm shocked at just how much I'm sticking up for myself. "I didn't have sex with Holden, since I know that's what you're all thinking," I lie. I can see my aunt and Derek shift uncomfortably slightly, as if they weren't thinking it at all. As if they weren't about to ask. "He came over to talk to me. And if you all have a problem with that, well I don't care. It'd be no problem if he had come over to see Elijah. And Trevor and I, we're dating. So if you could wipe the disgust off your faces and stop looking at me like I'm a slut, I'd appreciate it," I finish, grabbing my purse off the table and stomping away towards the door.
"Harper," my aunt asserts loudly, sounding both offended and taken back. I can hear in her tone that she doesn't like my choice of words or how I've voiced them but I don't care. I walk out the door and slide into the passenger seat of Trevor's car.
++++
When we get out the car, Trevor hands his keys to someone a few years older than us to park it. The sun is shining brightly for it to be just May and I'm glad I picked a sleeveless dress.
"Did you really have to open the door for me?" I almost sneer.
"Well that's how my mother raised me, Harper," he counters with a smug smile. I all but cringe when he puts his arm around my waist, walking us inside the restaurant. A group of girls our age walk by wide eyed and pointing. I feel gross. Like I'm stabbing Holden in the back. Cheating on my boyfriend.
Holden.
God, I told him last night I'd see him around noon. I never even told him about any of this.
"We'd like a table for two out front, please," Trevor nods to the hostess.
"I want to sit inside," I refute. "There's flies outside," is my strong rebuttal.
Trevor smiles. "It's beautiful outside today, Harper."
I force back a scowl as he confirms with the hostess that we'll be dining outside. Because it's beautiful out, or because more people will see us?
She leads us to a table out front and places two menus down, then opens the big umbrella in the center for shade.
I sigh as I sit down and she walks off, only to be replaced with a red headed waitress named Sarah a few moments later who takes our orders for drinks.
"I suppose you're going to be a good boyfriend and pick up the tab later," I smirk. "I didn't bring any extra money."
Trevor smirks at me, eyes twinkling in amusement as he runs a hand through his coarse brown hair. "Right. A Caldwell with no extra money."
He chuckles and I squint at him. What he doesn't know is I'm a Caldwell with pretty much no money. I have all the money a teenage girl with a minimum wage job, and middle class parents has. I'm living through a facade. Wearing clothes and carrying purses that my aunt and uncle buy. Can't have your niece carrying your expensive name while looking cheap, I guess? I could see how he, and everyone else got the impression. I traded my Forever 21 tags in for Balmain.
Fraud.
The word sticks in my brain now like someone slapped it in there with gorilla glue. I shudder slightly, shaking my head to clear my mind.
It doesn't take long for our drinks to arrive, and then our food. By the time I'm digging into my lobster, a girl dining a few tables over, not that much older than me, has her phone out, pointed at Trevor and I. Another girl had walked by the restaurant not 10 minutes ago and had snapped a pic of the 2 of us. Trevor notices also. He reaches across the table and takes my left hand in his.
I grimace and snatch it away from him, earning a scowl.
"Hold my goddamn hand, Harper," he urges, rolling his eyes. I roll mine back and reconnect our hands. He starts laughing. I furrow my eyebrows at him. What's so funny? "Laugh," he tells me. "Smile."
I force a smile at him, and I'm sure it looks as forced as it really is. Judging by Trevor's displeased face, I'm right.
"Are you really having that bad of a time?" He asks, almost looking offended. He doesn't care if I'm having a good time. He just has a big ego. Same as all these other snotty rich boys. I shrug in response and pick at my food. Trevor sighs.
"Listen, I want you to know how sorry I am about last night," he says. I glance at him for a second before looking back down at my plate. I don't need a bullshit apology. Even a sincere one wouldn't matter. Both of our lives are fucked after what happened after prom. "I'm serious, Harper. I never meant for any of that to happen. I want you to know I'm not a vile guy, alright? And anything I said to you while I was drunk, well, I'm sorry for that too. I don't want you to be miserable during this whole...experience."
Experience? Thats what we're going to refer to this as?
"Really?" I ask setting my fork down and looking up at him. "You're blackmailing me to sit across from you at this table right now. To be holding your hand right now."
Trevor narrows his eyes at me, his grip on my hand tightening just the tiniest bit.
"Don't be so self righteous, Harper. You're no saint either; everyone knows that by now. One more scandal and it's off with your head, Queen of Lockwood."
Quickly I snatch my hand away and drop it in my lap. He smirks at me victoriously and goes back to eating his food as I remain silent. Who does he think he is?
"Listen," he says leaning forward in his seat after a few moment. I'm so heated from his last comment I'm practically shaking. All I can do is scowl at him. "We don't have to fall in love alright? But I think we can make this work, I really do. I promise you, I'm not a bad guy. We're on the same team here. There's no reason for their to be any hate--any animosity between us at all."
Is he serious? There's every reason in the world for him to hate me and for me to hate him!
"Plus, I have to be a better boyfriend than Holden Frasier. I mean, no offense, I know he's your ex and all, but that guy is the worst," he chuckles. My jaw clenches and I hold my comments back. "Like, if anyone's an asshole, it's that guy. We're not even actually dating and I can promise you I'll treat you better than him."
My phone vibrates on the table catching my attention. I glance down at it to see Holden's picture on the screen as it rings and vibrates against the wooden table.
I glance up at Trevor who smirks, eyes flickering from my phone screen to me.
"Speak of the devil."
I reach for my phone and his voice halts me. "Don't," he says. I stop, hand hovering over my phone as it vibrates consistently.
"Why not?"
"Because I don't trust you," Trevor says. I squint at him.
"Trust me to do wha--"
"To stay away from him," he cuts me off. My phone stops ringing and I drop my hand in my lap, looking at the missed call notification that flashes up on the screen. "Two minutes on the phone with him and you'll be running back into his arms, ruining our plan," he explains to me.
"No," I shake my head. "That isn't true."
"It is," Trevor counters. "I know guys like Holden. I've lived around them for almost 18 years. You've lived around them for less than 1. Smooth talkers, raised by businessmen, groomed to speak the art of the deal. You'd let him suck you back in in a heartbeat."
"I would never go back to him," I assert strongly. Lies. I went back to him not even a full 24 hours ago. But he wasn't smooth-talking me. I didn't let him manipulate me. He's loves me. He said so, and I believe him.
"Good," Trevor says. "Glad to hear you aren't that weak."
His words make me look down immediately, feeling a tinge of self-consciousness. My stomach twists and I'm not sure why. Trevor goes back to finishing his food, but I'm not hungry anymore. After a few moments I grab my phone to see several missed texts from Holden.
He's sent me a picture of Trevor and I laughing, holding hands across the table.
"What the hell is this?" Reads the first message.
"This is why you're an hour late? Are you serious?" Reads the next.
Three dots appear on the screen and make my heart thump harder in my chest as I wait for his next text. I feel terrible. I can't imagine how I'd feel sitting at home waiting for him, only to see pictures of him out with another girl.
"Harper, baby I'm not mad ok? Just answer me when you can so we can talk."
I'm immediately taken back by the text. Surprised is an understatement. I was expecting a similar scenario to his 18th birthday party when he'd walked in on Tyler and I. And he used punctuation? Is this really Holden texting me?
I'd almost rather him have curse at me. Reading the last text just makes me feel even worse. I lock my phone and slip it into my purse. I need to see him.
I look up at Trevor. "Are we done here?" I ask. He smiles and fishes his wallet out of his pocket, throwing several bills on the table.
"I had a lovely time, sweetheart."
+++++++
I tell Trevor I don't want to go home and convince him to drop me off at a Nordstrom just 2 blocks from The Annabelle so he's not suspicious. I walk in, then walk out as soon as he pulls off.
When I get to Holden's floor I knock on the door impatiently. When I go for a second round of knocking it flings open, revealing Holden with messy hair and a clenched jaw. I slip past him and he closes the door behind me.
"I can explain," I say.
"I don't think you understand how fucking stupid I feel," he says. He's loud but he's not yelling. Yet. If there's one thing I know about Holden, it's that he channels any hurt or frustration he feels into anger. I decide to stay quiet and let him tell me how he's feeling before I explain myself at all.
"I open up to you, I trust you, I tell you I fucking love you, and then I wake up to this shit? When you're supposed to be here with me?" He shouts taking a few angry steps towards me. "What the fuck, Harper? You're the only girl I've ever fucking cared about!"
My heart stings. This is more of the reaction I was expecting from him.
"Do you really think I'd do that to you?" I ask softly, reaching up to touch his face. He slaps my hand away a little harder than I think he intends to and I gasp. He looks so hurt and angry at the same time. His eyes are red and slightly narrowed like he might even cry.
"Holden," I sigh. "Will you let me explain?" I ask gently.
He sits down in the armchair in the living room, refusing to look at me. I sit down on the couch and sigh again.
"Last night, after they brought me in, I got Trevor, Ian and April to lie to the police. To tell them that it was Trevor driving the car, and I grabbed the wheel to avoid an accident, and we spun out," I say.
Admitting it out loud makes me itch. Anyway you spin it, the situation is still bad. But at least this way, I'm not in any trouble. Holden looks up at me, face wrinkled up in confusion.
"I paid Ian and April to go through with it. With the money from that scholarship. The one you told me was fake last night." He looks away for a second with the mention of his lying to me. "Trevor asked for more than just money. To go through with the plan he said I have to pretend we're dating. Something about fucking basketball and publicity," I shake my head. "I just didn't want my acceptance to be taken away again. I've worked so hard."
Holden stares at me a second, silently.
"Are you angry?" I ask. He stands up and sits beside me on the couch, taking my hands in his.
"Not with you," he says. "You were stupid, yeah, but I understand why you did it. Whatever you need me to help with, I'll stand by you."
I shake my head. "I don't want you anymore involved in this," I say. "All I want you to do is say you're not breaking up with me."
"I'm not breaking up with you," he tells me, tucking some of hair behind my ear. It's still straight and I miss him pulling on my curls and smiling goofily as they spring back up. I chew on my bottom lip as I look up at him.
"No one can know we're dating again," I stress. "Not Becca, not Alejandra, not Jake, not Elijah, not Trevor. No one."
Holden's jaw clenches and he exhales deeply. He nods in agreement, but he's obviously not happy about the ordeal, and I can tell he's not going to let it go lightly.
+++++++
Omg hi pls don't be mad at me I'd tell you I had writers block which I did but that's still not an excuse to be gone so long smh I really hope you guys like this chapter and the ones to come because we're almost at the end! I don't think there will be anymore than 30-33 chapters in total but I'm just spitballing because most of this book is hella spontaneous writing. I'm rambling. If you're still reading and supporting this book thank you I love don't forget to vote and comment it honestly means so much to know people like what I'm writing xx Also congratulations to everyone that's graduated! And if you haven't yet, keep pushing!
Thanks for reading and supporting xx
Also I really like the title of this chapter lmao