I was listening to Wrist Cutter (great GUMI song! Might make you cry though) and I was just thinking about my self harm and depression experiences. Then, I started to think about the small things that you probably don't realize make me feel a lot better about myself. This list will probably continue to grow as I think of things.
-Calling me by my name. This is a huge one. It really does make me feel good when my classmates call me by my name. A couple weeks ago, some people I don't really talk to came up to the table I was sitting at during class and one of them said, "Hey Allison, do you mind if we sit here?" It makes me feel better because it makes me feel like I'm important enough for you to remember my name. Maybe it sounds silly to you, but it makes sense to me. Basically, it just makes me feel more important.
-Those comments on YouTube videos about self harm that usually say "Don't hurt yourself! Be strong" Although you may not think it helps that much and that it's really cliche, it really does help. I wasn't crying while listening to Wrist Cutter until I saw one of those comments. It just really does make me feel a lot better.
-When people read my tweets where I'm practically begging for help and respond. I showed this a couple chapters ago with that person on Twitter who saw my tweets and DMed me to help. It's really nice when people try to help you while they may not fully understand what you are going through. I can also be nervous to go straight to people for help, so I usually make a public post in hopes of people responding.
-When people share the same opinion as you. What I'm mainly talking about here is when a depressive episode gets triggered by something, it's nice to find someone who shares your opinion about it. Like when I made a joke on Instagram that everyone hated. Someone here on Wattpad thought it was stupid that everyone was taking it that way, too.
-Having online friends that are there for you when your IRL friends aren't. Let's go back to the IG situation. All my IRL "friends" turned their backs on me and said that I was wrong. (Did I mention that I almost pulled my pocket knife on myself when that happened? Some friends they were.) But that Wattpad friend was there to help me through that when it seemed everyone else hated me. Also, sometimes it may be too late at night to talk to you're IRL friends. During the whole Twitter thing, it was past 2 AM where I was. But for the person I was talking to, it was past 8 AM because she lives in Scotland and I live in the US. I hope some of my friends on Wattpad read this and see how special they are to me. I also hope those "friends" who didn't like my joke see this so they know how much pain they put me through when they said my joke was rude.
I just wanted to write this to show that small things like this can have a big impact on someone and to tell you to do it more often.