So, this week we've been moving and it's been making me really depressed. I haven't taken my medicine in a few days, so that just makes it worse.
I was working on my English dub of "Self Inflicted Achromatic" because I had it on loop while I was packing (it was very appropriate for the way I felt at the time). So I was singing it so I can make sure the lyrics fit and apparently I was being too loud because my dad came in and told me to turn it down.
I felt stupid because of this. I felt like an idiot for waking my dad up, and just felt bad for my dad. I was trying to repress this urge all night, but after that, I finally gave into the depression and grabbed a mechanical pencil and scratched my arm with it. It really burns right now and I feel even more horrible for doing it. I didn't draw blood, but it hurts still.
I haven't self harmed in forever. I thought that it wouldn't happen, but I guess my dad coming in (totally my fault. Trying not to put blame on him) was the last straw.
I thought I'd write about it to let you guys know how I've been feeling and for documentation. I'll probably take a picture, but Wattpad prohibits me from posting it here.
Thanks for taking the time to read this. It really means a lot to me. <3