~Leo
I was grabbing out the boxes of cereal from the cabinet when I felt arms wrap around me. Jackson nuzzled his face into my neck as he tucked his fingers into the front of my pants.
I tensed, moving his hands away from me. "Jay, stop." Hopefully he didn't notice what I've been trying to hide.
Unfortunately, it seemed like he did. "Lee, I think your pants are getting a little small there." He smiled and reached for them again, but I backed out of his reach.
They weren't. They couldn't be. I wasn't gaining weight. I wouldn't. I promised myself and my mother I'd never do that again. I can't break that promise.
Jackson seemed to realize what was going on in my head because the smile fell off his face. I didn't want to talk about it though. It wasn't happening, so why talk about it?
"Are the kids awake yet?" I asked before he could say anything. "They should be down here."
As if on cue, the sound of Ashley running down the stairs reached us. I returned my attention to the boxes of cereal I had grabbed and placed them both on the table with a couple bowls just as she entered.
"Where's Daddy?" Ashley asked, getting into her chair at the table.
I looked at Jackson, thankful for the distraction from what just happened, but wishing it was anything but this. Josh hadn't come home last night. I didn't have an answer for her.
"Um..." Jay started, placing a glass of orange juice in front of her. "He had to go to work early."
It was probably close to the truth. Knowing him, he was probably at work already, especially if he didn't have to help get the kids ready this morning. I just wished he'd called us or something last night to let us know he's okay. I was starting to worry.
"Daddy?"
I turned to the sound of Logan's voice in the doorway. He looked a bit pale and was holding onto his stomach. Oh no.
"What's wrong, bud?" Jay asked, bending down next to him.
Logan shook his head. "My tummy hurts."
Of all days for Josh to go MIA on us, Logan feels sick. Of course. I watched Jackson lead Logan out of the room before I pulled out my phone and dialed Josh's number.
It went straight to voicemail. "Hey, love," I said. "Please call me back. I think your son might be sick." I turned around from Ashley's curious gaze and lowered my voice. "And I'm worried about you. Please. I love you."
Hanging up, I sat down at the table with my cup of coffee, deciding to have just that instead of an actual breakfast. Ashley had returned her attention back to her cereal, thankfully. I didn't need more of her questions this morning, not when I couldn't answer them.
My phone vibrated and I answered it without even checking the caller ID. "Hello?"
"I got your message," Josh said softly. "What's wrong with Logan?"
I smiled at the sound of his voice, getting up from the table. "Stomach ache. He's with Jay. Hold on." Walking out of the room, I found Jay standing outside the bathroom. "Everything okay?" I asked Jay, keeping Josh on the line. "Josh is on the phone."
Jackson looked at me. "Looks like someone snuck a glass of milk sometime last night."
I sighed, then relayed the information to Josh. I thought Ashley was the defiant one around here, but now we had to watch Logan too? Why did he have to be difficult? Why right now, with everything else going on?
"Is he still throwing up?" Josh asked through the phone.
I looked around Jay to see Logan sitting on the floor. Obviously he had thrown up, but it looked like there was no more. "I think he's done," I said, then asked Logan if he was. I got a single nod. "Yeah, he's done."
Josh sighed. "Send him to school," he said. "He's not actually sick. Everything is already out of his system. Give him some dry cereal if he'll eat it, then make him go to school."
I moved away from the bathroom before speaking my next words. "Josh, the kid was just throwing up. He shouldn't be going. He looks absolutely miserable."
"He's missed enough as is," Josh retorted. "And if he's miserable during school, then it's his own fault."
I sighed, giving in. "Fine. He's not going to be happy about it though."
"Then this will teach him not to take milk anymore, especially when everyone is still asleep." Josh sighed. "Maybe I'll pick up some of that lactose free milk on my way home today. I still don't think he'll like it, but it's a better alternative to this."
He said a lot of words, but I only heard a tiny amount of them. "So you're actually coming home tonight?"
"Yes. I'm sorry I wasn't there last night. I just... I don't know. I couldn't."
"I get that, baby, I do," I said, leaning against the wall. "But next time, if there ever is a next time, could you at least tell us where you'll be staying the night? We do worry about you."
"Yeah. Sorry." There was some quiet mumbling on his side of the phone before he continued talking. "I gotta go. Debby needs my help. I'll see you later."
He hung up before I even had a chance to tell him I love him, but I didn't think about it too much. There's a lot going on in his head right now. And I would hope that he knew how much I love him after all this time.
Instead, I focused on how to tell my son that he still needed to go to school today. This was going to be a fun conversation.
~Kyle
Today was the day. I was finally getting out of this stupid hospital. Granted, I still couldn't remember much of anything, but I was leaving and, right now, that was the important part.
I knew I would remember my life from the past ten years. It would come back to me eventually. That feeling I felt last night when Josh was here wasn't just a fluke. I knew that I loved him at one point, which means I can love him again. I would remember how I love him, Jackson, and Leo. I would remember everything. I just knew I would.
"All set?" my dad asked, walking back into the room. "Paperwork's all signed, so just whenever you're ready."
I nodded before grabbing the suitcase Josh had brought by last night. I was glad he came with it, although I could tell that he wished he didn't have to. Even not remembering him, I could easily read the emotions on his face; whether that was just who he was or something I was unconsciously picking up on, I wasn't sure. But I did notice that something was bothering him last night, something that wasn't me going home with my dad rather than with him. I didn't pry, though. If he wasn't willing to share with me right now, than I wasn't going to ask.
It was a peaceful drive to my dad's house. No insistent beeping of that heart monitor. No nurses and doctors barging in on conversations. Just quiet contentment between the two of us and the radio playing softly in the background.
My mind kept wandering back to everything that had happened yesterday. Between that woman Suzanne showing up and freaking out my husbands and Dad admitting that he lives with a woman that's not my mother - who died a year after she disowned me and left my dad, apparently - I didn't know what should be more concerning right now: the fact that my husband has a mother that even the mention of her name sends him into a panic attack or that my dad is living with a woman I didn't know - or didn't remember - and I was about to move in with them for the time being. Neither thought settled well with me.
When we pulled into the driveway of a small ranch, the uneasy feeling in my gut hadn't gone away. It probably had to do with the fact that I couldn't recognize the house at all. I should know the house my own father lives in. I should know all this, but I don't, and it's so incredibly frustrating.
Dad led me inside and gave me a brief tour. Kitchen, bathroom, the bedroom he shared with that Tina woman, and the small living room with a pull out couch that I'd be sleeping on. I started thinking that staying with him was a bad idea, but I still didn't feel comfortable going to the house I actually lived in. I couldn't go back there yet, so I had to be stuck here, being a bother to my father and his girlfriend, who I have yet to meet - again.
"Tina should be back any minute now," Dad said, answering my unspoken thought. "She said she just ran out to the grocery store real quick."
I nodded my head, focusing more on the pictures on the walls than his words. There were pictures of me and Colton when we were younger, and some when we were older. Some pictures had a boy in them - who I could see turning into a man as the pictures continued - who I assumed to be his husband. My husbands and children were also featured in the pictures, but none of those memories I could remember. I wish I could remember them. I wish I could be as happy as I looked in all these pictures.
"I am so lucky to have such a wonderful family," Dad said suddenly, placing a hand on my shoulder and making me jump slightly. "I'm proud of you, you know."
"How?" I asked. "I'm barely the son you knew a month ago. I don't know who he is anymore."
He smiled, but instead of answering me, he pointed at a picture. It was of myself and my husbands, all four of us seemed to be passed out across a couple chairs. My head was on Leo's lap, Jackson was leaning against Leo's side, and Josh was curled up on Jackson's lap. It was a cute picture, but I didn't know why my dad had it framed. It didn't seem all that important.
"That's the night your children were born," he explained. "Alyssa went into labor in the early hours of the morning and all four of you boys rushed to the hospital. I took this picture at about eight o'clock at night. None of you had gotten any sleep all day, until you fell asleep like this. Missed Ashley's birth. At least you boys woke up in time to get the news that Logan had been born as soon as it happened.
"This moment, right here, is when I really knew how much love you have for each other. Of course, I knew you loved them ever since I met them all. But that day, seeing you all sleeping in the waiting room together, finding comfort in each other during that stressful time, I knew. I knew that you had made the right choice. And I was so proud of you. Still am. Always will be."
"Hello?" a woman's voice called out through the small house before I could reply. "Anyone home?"
Tina. It must be. Dad called back to her, letting her know where we were. In the next moment, an older woman who was a bit on the heavier side strut into the room like she owned the place. I couldn't remember anything about this woman, but already, I had a feeling I wasn't going to like her.
She came straight for me and pulled me into a bone-crushing hug. I didn't know she could be that strong, but she was apparently strong enough to keep me in her hold. "Son, it's good to see you again," she said with a wide smile once she finally let go of me. Her teeth were slightly yellowed. How could my dad be with this woman? I didn't understand.
"Please don't call me that," I said softly. She wasn't my mother, not like she cared about me anyway, but I didn't know this woman. I wasn't her son.
"Of course honey. My mistake."
Even her voice was grating. I was definitely reconsidering staying here.