Chapter 20 - Fire
We headed back home, chatting along the way. I couldn't help but be pretty silent, and I wasn't sure why. I just didn't feel like talking, and I couldn't shake the weird feeling that had settled in my stomach. What was wrong with me? Ry and Marks kept asking if I was okay, and I would nod and smile, but we all knew I was lying. It was an ominous feeling that made my skin crawl. Don't be ridiculous, I told myself, shaking my head.
When we pulled up to the house, London and Gavin were sitting on the front porch, waving frantically at us. "What's going on?" I called, jogging to the door.
"Family movie night," London told me, "But your friends are more than welcome." Her eyes locked on Marks, who was trailing silently behind me, and I saw a slight glint in them. Rolling my eyes, I snapped my fingers in front of her face.
"I think we'll pass," jogging past her, I motioned for my friends to follow me inside. "How 'bout we build a fire and make smores, instead?"
It was warming up in Tennessee, but when the sun went down there was still a bite to the air. I couldn't wait to be snuggled up by the fire, wrapped in a warm blanket and munching on chocolaty-marshmallow treats. The rest of the family was already gathering around the TV, having finished dinner. Rosie was busy handing out bowls of ice cream to everyone who was already seated.
"Hey, you're back," Savanna called, perking up as soon as we came into the room. She sat in the corner of their big sofa, legs draped over her husbands legs as she leaned against the arm. "Join us!"
"Actually, I thought a campfire might be nice," I rubbed the back of my neck, sticking my bottom lip out in a pout. She wouldn't say no, but she would try to guilt me into staying. Savanna had a thing for family events.
Matthew and Mason immediately jumped from their place on the ground, running to wrap their arms around my waist. "Can we join?!" they exclaimed as they almost knocked me to the ground. I shot a look at Jason and mouthed, help. It's not that I didn't love the little squirts, it's that I didn't want to be babysitting.
"Tomorrow we can have our own fire, boys," Jason chuckled, shaking his head. "Tonight's just for Shi and her friends."
"Fine," Matthew huffed, dropping his hold on me. A weight lifted off my shoulders. "I didn't want to go out there anyways." Shooting Mr. and Mrs. Miller a grateful look, I turned on my heels to head to the backyard. As I turned, I felt a pair of eyes follow me; a pair of eyes I had a sneaking suspicion belonged to Ben.
Suddenly, before I could stop myself, I called, "You coming, Miller?" He was sitting off to the side in his usual recliner, a fact I had been aware of without even looking at him. It was like I could sense his presence, feel his energy and know he was near. The only reply I received was a grunt as he stood up and exited the room to the kitchen. His reply made my stomach clench, but I ignored it and followed him.
I had wanted to have a fire out here ever sense Ryder had told me how the family did it. They rode their four wheelers out to the edge of the woods, right next to the lake, where there was already a fire pit ready and waiting. He said you could see every stay glistening off of the water, shining back up at you. It sounded beautiful and was definitely something I wanted to see for myself.
Ben grabbed the s'more supplies from the cupboard before we all headed outside. Ry stopped suddenly, making me pause to look at her. She grabbed Marks by the wrist, "Hey," he exclaimed. Ben stopped jogging down the porch stairs and looked at us, raising and eyebrow.
"We're gunna wait for Jeremy," Ry explained, visibly tightening her told on Marks. Go, she mouthed to me, making my cheeks flush bright red. What was she doing?
"Speak for yourself," Marks grunted, trying to rip his arm from his grasp. That just made Rylin righten her grasp, making him grimace in pain. "Actually, ya'll go ahead," he muttered, but you could see the anger creeping across his face.
"Looks like you're with me, Shi," Ben said, slinging an arm around my shoulder. Before I could see either of my friends faces Ben forced me to turn around, waking me in the direction of the four wheelers. I expected him to more his arm but he left it there, dangling off of my shoulder. When we were a good distance away, he finally said, "I don't like the way Marks looks at you."
"What are you talking about?" I asked, wrinkling my eyebrows as I looked up at him. "Me and Marks are friends." Strictly friends. Sure, maybe he made me feel something in my chest, but it wasn't anything compared to what Ben made me feel. For example, having his arm around my shoulders made the craziest butterflies fly around in my stomach. It almost felt like I would throw up.
"Try telling him that," he muttered, grinding his teeth together. Even angry, his face was a work of art. From that angle, looking up at him, I could see every perfectly chiseled angle of his physique. The color of his eyes almost took my breath away. As we walked I leaned in to him, breathing in his sent. Oh god, I was in trouble. I couldn't even worry about Marks I was so distracted.
When we reached the shed Ben let me go, pulling the doors open. I took the s'mores supplies as he started the four wheeler, revving the engine. I'm pretty sure he only revved it for flair to get under Marks' skin, who was still watching us from the porch. "Put the stuff in here," Ben told me, opening the compartment on the back of the vehicle. I dropped the supplies inside and swung myself on the back of the four wheeler, wrapping my arms around Ben's waist. Without hesitation he grabbed my wrists and pulled me closer so that my whole body was pressed against his, making me suck in a breath.
In a split second we were off, wind whipping at my face. It burned my eyes so I pressed my cheek against his back and closed them. It was probably a five minute ride out to the lake, but it felt like seconds. Before I knew it we were coming to a stop and it was time to let go of Benjamin. Reluctantly, I released my tight grip and slid off of the four wheeler.
"So what's the plan?" I asked. He glanced at me over his shoulder, shaking his head. Just that glint in his eyes made my stomach clinch. Why was I so obsessed with Benjamin Miller? What was it about him that I just couldn't resist? It was infuriating, but at the same time oddly comforting.
"We're going to start a fire?" He laughed, a hint of amusement in his voice. His back was still turned to me, but even without seeing his face I knew he was wrinkling his nose. It was that face they made when he looked at someone as if they were an idiot.
"I meant other than make s'mores, dumb ass," I scoffed, trying to save what was left of my pride. As soon as the question had left my mouth I had known he would make fun of me. It was, to be fair, a stupid question. I just never really knew quite what to say around him. We were just getting out of the hating each other stage, it still felt foreign and, honestly, kinda awkward.
"I guess we'll find out," he said. I watched as he sauntered over to the pile of wood set slightly away from the fire pit. He picked up a few logs and tossed them into the hole before looking at me, raising an eyebrow. "Are you going to help me?"
"Sir, yes sir," I said, sarcastically saluting him. The only reply I got was a roll of his eyes and something mumbled incoherently under his breath. If I had to guess, he was calling me some not so nice names.
In Alaska, I had become a pro fire-lighter. The trick was to have something to use as an excellent, something that burned easier and faster than wood. Spinning on my heels, I opened the bucket on the back of the four wheeler and scooped out the old newspaper. We kept it in there just for instances like this, all ready to go. As Ben threw in the wood I crumpled up and tossed in the paper. Ben sprinkled on a little accelerant and threw in a match, also kept in the handy-dandy box, and tossed it it. The flames roared to life, sparking dangerously high before calming to a decent fire.
"We make a good team," he chuckled, holding out a clinched fist. Rolling my eyes, I fist bumped him. It was just making a fire, not rocket science, but his effort at being nice was appreciated. Our eyes locked and I felt myself getting dragged in. When I looked at him, I just got lost. I could stare at those gorgeous eyes forever and never get bored. Our fists were still touching, and slowly Ben opened his fingers and laced his through mine. Without me even realizing what I was doing I gripped onto his hand, holding tight.
"We should sit," I muttered, embarrassed when my voice caught in my throat. He nodded, leading me to sit down on one of the logs. He didn't release my hand, though. Instead he stroked my knuckles with his thumb absently, as if he didn't realize he was doing it. "How long do you think the others will be?"
"With the way Jeremy drives, not long," Ben snorted, shaking his head. "Unless he gets pulled over again, then who knows." I giggled, leaning mg head to rest on Ben's shoulder. He leaned his head to rest on mine, letting out a sigh. For a moment we sat in silence, the only noise was mine uneven breathing and the sound of the crackling fire. In the silence, Rosie's words echoed through my brain, reminding me there was still so much I didn't know about Benjamin Miller. "So what are your plans after you graduate?" It was a lame attempt to get him comfortable enough to open up, but I didn't know how else to start a conversation. He sat up and looked at me, surprised, but I didn't make a move to look at him.
"I'll go to Vanderbilt here in Tennessee," he finally sighed, releasing my hand to stand up. He paced around the fire, clearly anxious. "My Dad went there, so I got in easily. He has connections. Then I'll be a lawyer just like him." His voice was monotone. It did not sound like someone who was about to graduate high school, their whole future ahead of them.
"Are you not excited about it?" I was almost too afraid to ask. I had learned from experience that there was only so far you could push Ben. He didn't get mad, though. He just stared into the fire absently, hands clasped behind his back. I stood and moved to his side, placing a hand on his arm. "Ben?" Slowly, he turned to look at me. A ghost of a smile played at his lips, the fire casting a shadow over his face. He reached out and brushed my hair out of my face, leaving a hand on my cheek. My breath caught in my throat.
"You're so beautiful," he whispered, stroking my cheek with his thumb. My heart beat so fast it threatened to jump out of my chest. Reflexively, without even thinking about it, I snaked my arms up around his neck, bringing us closer. When he leaned in, I didn't pull away. My eyes fluttered closed as I braced myself for the touch of his soft lips.
Just as I thought he was going to kiss me, the roar of engines filled the air. We jumped apart, afraid of being seen. My cheeks flared crimson as I ducked my head, rubbing my arms awkwardly. Two more four wheelers pulled up to the campsite, stopping next to where we had parked. Jeremy, Rylin and Marks all hopped off their vehicle and took their seats around the fire. Ry sat next to me, bumping my shoulder as she sat down. "Girl," she gasped, keeping her voice low. I rose an eyebrow at her, shooting a weary look at the boys. They weren't paying attention. "Marks is pissed."
"Why?" I asked, confused. He looked perfectly fine to me. As usual, he was standing slightly separate from the rest of the boys, head down, not paying attention. Before she could answer, Jeremy's head snapped to us, a huge smile spreading across his face.
"Are ya'll ready?" His voice was low, almost devilish. I knew that look, and I knew he was about to do something I wouldn't really approve of. In a flash he dropped his backpack and opened it to reveal a box of Bud Lite. "And there's more where that came from!" He said wiggling his eyebrows.
"I'm good," I said, quickly holding my hands in the air. We couldn't just have a normal night? Geez.
"Suit yourself," Jere shrugged, cracking one open. They each passed the beer around until everyone except for me was sipping one. I hated beer, and I didn't like the feeling of being drunk. Even if it meant I was the buzzkill and had no fun, I refused. Sighing, I leaned back and settled in, preparing for a long night of babysitting.
***
It was getting late. The later it got, the colder it got. The only light around us was coming from the fire. I was starting to shiver and regret wearing a tank top. Ben seemed to sense this, because he jogged over to the cooler set away from us and pulled out a big fleece blanket. "Here, share with me," he said, sitting down behind me. He grabbed my waist and pulled me backwards so that I was between his legs, making me squeak. Then he threw the blanket over us and I pulled it up to my chin, forcing me to lean into his chest. His warmth radiated to me, helping me to relax. But what was he doing?! Rylin was staring at me wiggling her eyebrows, but I tried my best to ignore her.
"So," I said, voice high and squeaking. I coughed to try to clear my throat, but it didn't work. "Um..." I completely lost my train of thought. Ben had one hand wrapped around my stomach, squeezing me tight, and his other hand was drawing patterns on my right thigh. The only thing I could get my mind to think about was how close we were and the way he was holding me. It was making my senses go crazy.
"Are you okay?" he asked me, making me lean to my left and look up at him. Our faces were only inches apart, making me suck in a breath. Our eyes locked together; it felt like he was looking into my soul and could read my thoughts. Every part of my body all the way down to my toes was telling me to kiss him. Be the brave one for once, Shi, I told myself. Before I could stop myself I put one hand on his cheek and closed the distance between us, softly pressing my lips against his.
It was like time stopped. Half of me expected him to pull away, but he didn't. The hand that was drawing patterns on my thigh gripped my skin. My eyes fluttered closed as his lips moved against mine, hypnotizing me. Vaguely, I was aware of Rylin screaming and some sort of other commotion from my friends, but I couldn't make myself care about what else was happening. I didn't want this moment to end.
Softly, he nibbled at my bottom lip, making me breathe in. I wasn't very experienced, and I knew Ben was very experienced, so in the back of my mind there was a voice telling me he hated this. Maybe he would make fun of me, maybe he would tell everyone I was a horrible kisser. But in that moment I didn't care.
When we finally did break away it took me a second to catch my breath. I opened my eyes to find Ben staring at me with bright eyes twinkling. "Finally, Shi," he chuckled, shaking his head. I blushed, looking down so that he couldn't see my face. He chuckled again and kissed my head, making my heart clench.
What was he doing to me?
That's when the spell was broken. I could hear Ry screaming like a maniac, the leaves crunching beneath her feet as she jumped around. "I knew it, I was right! Jere you owe me twenty dollars."
"You were betting?!" I exclaimed, shooting her a glare. I opened my mouth to yell at her but an engine revved, cutting through the air. Our eyes snapped to the four wheelers where Marks was speeding away, not looking back. In a second he was out of sight, and I had a feeling he wouldn't be back. I didn't know why, but I felt slightly guilty. I told myself I didn't owe Marks anything, but it still felt like a betrayal. I had noticed the way he looked at me, I wasn't stupid.
"Ya'll just had to do this, didn't you?" Jeremy groaned, placing twenty dollars in Ry's waiting hand. Ben entangled his hand in mine, but I barely paid enough attention to grab it back. My eyes were glued to where Marks had sped off, the engine getting quieter and quieter by the second. What the hell was I supposed to do?
"Jere, hand me a beer," I exclaimed, holding my hand out. They all looked at me in surprise, but Jeremy didn't hesitate to slap one in my hand. "I'm getting drunk tonight."
A/N: sorry for another long wait and a shorter chapter. I made it as long as I could but I was just stuck...I can't promise for a quick update, but I do have some free time since I'm home with the flu so I'll see what I can do.