HE WAS SITTING AT THE dinner table the first time he heard it. Heard her. Sophie. In his head. He practically jumped out of his own skin.
Please.
It reverberated around his skull as he tried to ignore it, stabbing through his mental barriers and right to his core. It was strange, how it felt so real. It felt like she was right there next to him, talking to him. He knew it was just a figment of his imagination, still...he couldn't help but turn his head to look over his shoulder.
He mentally slapped himself for his gullibility. Elwin had told him this might happen, that he might start hearing her voice in his head at random times when something reminded him of her. But that was all it was, a hallucination. She was dead. He'd never see her again. He'd never see her walking through the halls of Foxfire. Never battle it out with her during the Ultimate Splotching Championship. Never even talk with her. Except in his head.
Fitz.
Gosh, he was really going crazy, wasn't he? Even though he knew it wasn't real, her voice filled his mind, laced with fear and panic.
Please, Fitz. I need your help. If you can follow my voice, please find me.
'But you're dead,' he thought, and he couldn't stop the pain that came with it. It felt like he couldn't breathe, like missing Sophie was a physical weight that pushed down on his chest, threatening to suffocate him if he didn't move on. If he didn't try to forget.
I'm not dead—yet. Please, they're going to kill us.
'Who, Sophie?' he thought. 'Who? Where are you?'
But there was no answer.
A violent pain ripped through his stomach, forcing him to double over with a wheeze and stealing his breath. Thinking of her dead was like a physical punch to the groin. Yep, it was definitely his imagination. He'd always had a thing for damsels in distress, and this was no different. Like Elwin had said, it was just his brain, trying to make it easier to cope with the grief of her loss.
"Fitz?" his mother asked, pulling him out of his trance. "Are you alright?"
Fitz shook his head, dispelling the echo. He had to stop imagining that she was miraculously still alive. Sophie and the Dizznee kid were dead. And there was absolutely nothing he could do to change it.
Suddenly inexplicably angry, Fitz slammed his chair back and stood with much more force than necessary. "I'll be in my room," he growled. He didn't remember what happened next. All he could remember was uncontrollable rage. Why hadn't he been there? Why had he let her leave Foxfire that day? Why hadn't he gone after her? He could have delayed her long enough that the storm would have been too bad for her to go down to the caves at all. He could have helped somehow. He could have saved her life! But now she was dead, and it was all his fault.
His rage dissipated just as quickly as it had appeared. He slumped down onto the ground and sobbed, allowing himself to lose his composure, just for a moment. He missed her. She had been his friend. He'd been the one to find her, the one to rip her away from her human family, the one to comfort her when she had to get checked by Elwin. And because he'd done that, she'd died. If he'd never found her, if he'd just left her alone once he saw her eyes, maybe she would still be alive. Maybe he wouldn't hurt this much.
For just one moment he let himself miss her, even though he didn't deserve to.
When he was done, he was so exhausted he could barely open his eyes. Stumbling blindly over to his desk, he tripped over random objects he couldn't even remember throwing. But one small purple dinosaur caught his eye. It was the tiny purple Albertosaurus she'd given him at midterms. He picked the small toy off his floor and hugged it to his chest.
The next thing he remembered was waking up on the floor with something jabbing uncomfortably into his cheek. Wiping bleary eyes he sat up and squinted at his clock. 1:18. What had woken him up?
Please! Please help us!
It took him a moment to understand that the voice was in his head, and another to identify it as Sophie. Was he really that desperate? Imagining fake telepathic conversations instead of accepting her death?
He laid on the floor, reluctantly hopeful, and waited for another transmission. But there was only silence. Fitz stood up and got dressed in his uniform. It had been 10 days since Sophie's death. He had to go back to school, or he'd fail his finals. And that wasn't something Sophie would have wanted. He could almost imagine her telling him to get up and do something with his life.
He walked through school like a robot, hardly caring about the looks of pity all the students and mentors gave him when they thought he wasn't looking. At least he didn't have to care about how well he did. His mentors would pity pass him if they had to, but Fitz knew that none of his them would allow him to flunk out after...
He couldn't wait to get home so he could curl up in his bed and stop feeling for a few hours.
Then, on the way to his room from the Leapmaster...BAM! He heard it again. Please, Fitz. He fell against the wall, grabbing his temples as the volume of her voice simultaneously triggered stomach cramps and a massive headache. Her voice was so loud this time he couldn't ignore it. But he still tried to. Sophie was dead. He had to accept that. The fact that he was hearing voices meant nothing. It just meant that he was going crazy. We're in Paris—Pont Alexandre III. We need help. Tell your dad and please hurry!
'I must be some kind of masochist,' he thought as his heart split into a million pieces, so many he would never be able to put himself back together. Every time he imagined her voice it reopened the wounds of the day he'd been told she was dead, made them ache more sharply than he'd thought possible. How was he supposed to move on from her death if his brain kept fabricating excuses for him to hear her? If his own mind betrayed him every time he experienced a little bit of deja vu?
Please listen to me. I'm not dead—but I might be if you don't come. Please send help.
"Stop it!" he screamed, tears running down his cheeks as he wrapped his arms around his stomach, trying to hold himself together. "Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!"
Hands grabbed him, pressing on his face and restraining his arms as he screamed and sobbed. He opened his eyes, but they were too full with tears to see anything but blobs of color. He thrashed against his restraints, trying to escape, but he was pinned. He couldn't move.
Slowly—slowly—he calmed himself down and the blurs above him sharpened into shapes and then people. Biana and his mother were each holding a leg and his father had pinned his arms and upper body under his own. When he stilled his mother let out a sob and embraced him, tears shining in her eyes.
When his mother finally let go, his father's eyes were moist with pain and Biana's eyes were puffy and red, her cheeks streaked with tiny rivers of salty tears.
"What can we do?" his mother asked. She pressed her shaking hands into fists and lowered them to her sides. "If I could just take all your pain I would, but..."
Fitz pulled his mother into a hug. "Can you call Keefe for me please?" Fitz asked quietly as he buried his head in her shoulder.
"Of course," his mother said. She hugged him back fiercely, as if she could put his broken pieces back together if she could only squeeze tight enough. He sank into her embrace, needing to feel something other than broken just for a few heartbeats.
"I'll be in my room," he muttered as he pulled away, not bothering to look up from the floor as he fled.
He collapsed into the chair at his desk, putting his head in his hands and feeling more lost than he'd ever felt before. "I miss you, Sophie. More and more every day." He wasn't sure who he was telling, but it made his heart ache a little less.
Then, as if he'd summoned her, his head filled with the sound of her voice.
It's Sophie, Fitz. Dex is hurt and I'm too weak to help him. Please come. I can't hold on much longer...
He turned and looked around his room. Why couldn't he just forget?
Please, Fitz. I need your help.
He turned away and grabbed the tiny purple Albertosaurus, and the note she'd given him with it. 'I went to your funeral,' he thought, not strong enough to ignore his delusions even though his heart broke a little more every second.
I'm not dead—not yet. I need your help.
Fitz's door opened behind him, but he barely heard it over the sound of her voice.
Please, Fitz. You have to come. Before it's too late.
"Hey, dude," Keefe said quietly, tentatively, from behind him. "How're ya holding up?"
There's a tree here, Fitz. Part of it has green leaves and part of it has flowers and part of it has snow. It's huge. If you know where that is, please hurry.
Then an image filled his mind. It was just as she'd described, as though each section had been cut from a different part of the world and sewn back together again.
He was so surprised he instinctively projected it onto his wall, before his mind could forget it.
"That's the Four Seasons Tree," Keefe gasped. "In Luminaria. But what...?"
I'm so tired. Please help us. We don't have much time.
Fitz grabbed his head and yelled as loud as he could. Gentle hands rubbed his back, and he opened his eyes to see Biana, concern evident in her wide eyes. "Fitz, what's going on?" Keefe asked.
"I've been hearing Sophie's voice in my head," he admitted, simultaneously embarrassed that he was admitting it, and angry that his subconscious was giving him false hope. What if she actually was alive? But he couldn't afford to think like that. She was dead. Sophie was dead. And it was his fault. "I've been trying to ignore it, but then this image popped into my head. I've never seen the Four Season's Tree! I didn't even know what it was until you said that. How could I have just projected it with that much accuracy?"
"Dude, what if she's not dead?" Keefe asked, getting animated. "What if she actually needs our help?"
"It couldn't hurt to check," Biana agreed. "And this way we'll know for sure either way."
That was all it took. "Come on!" he yelled at Keefe, and then he took off, racing through the mansion toward the Leapmaster like there was a pack of rabid sabertooth tigers on his heels.
He vaguely heard Keefe and Biana pounding after him, but his mind was too focused on his epiphany. Sophie was alive. He was sure of it. And she needed his help.
"Luminaria!" he yelled. Heartbeats were measured in hours as the crystal dropped. As soon as the beam of light appeared he stepped in, two hands grabbing his at the last moment.
"Where is it?" he yelled at Keefe as they glittered into existence.
"Here!" Keefe took off down a side street and Fitz followed, Biana on his heels as they raced through the city.
First he saw Dex.
No!
Sophie's voice echoed in his head, but he didn't pay any attention. The Dizznee was sprawled out on the grass beneath the tree, utterly still although Fitz could see no external wounds. But where was...?
His heart nearly stopped when he saw her. Or rather, what was left of her. Bile rose in his throat as he sprinted toward what remained of his friend. She was completely transparent in some places, and in others her skin was so milky white she looked like she was made of marble. When he reached her side her bleary eyes opened to reveal dull, pale grey irises.
I'm sorry I couldn't wait for you to get here, Fitz. I tried.
"Call Elwin!" he screamed as he dropped to her side. He grabbed her hand, but it was so faded it was barely tangible. "Sophie! Sophie!" She didn't move.
He was vaguely aware of Keefe grabbing Dex and light leaping away next to him, and Biana screaming into her imparter, but nothing mattered except the ghostly form in front of him.
Without another thought he put his hands on her temples and pushed into her mind.
He was so surprised when he made it past her defenses he almost pulled back. But he was on a mission. Sophie was counting on him. She needed him.
Sophie, he transmitted. Sophie, can you hear me? Sophie.
He repeated the call until her body shivered in his hands and he drew her up into his arms.
"Sophie," Fitz said, transmitting it and saying it out loud at the same time. "Sophie, can you hear me? Squeeze my hand if you can hear me."
Her body was deathly still, but then her voice filled his mind.
I'm here.
He laughed, unable to control his relief. "Everything is going to be okay," he whispered, stroking her hair back from her forehead. "You're safe now. Just stay with me, okay?"
I'll try.
He sighed with relief, gently setting her back down so that her head rested on his knees.
Dex!
"Dex is fine," Fitz promised. "Keefe leaped him to Everglen, and Biana left to get Elwin. We weren't sure if it was safe to move you." His voice hitched at the end.
Thank you for coming.
"I'm sorry I didn't come sooner. I didn't want to believe you could still be . . . get my hopes up if . . ." He choked on the words. "I finally told Keefe and Biana about it, and they convinced me to come. If I'd come sooner, maybe..."
You're here now.
"I just hope I'm not too late," he whispered, his heart breaking at her trust.
"Where is she?" Elwin barked, and Fitz looked up with tears in his eyes. Elwin gasped. "Fitz, open her mouth."
Fitz pulled gently on her chin, and Elwin poured a silver vial of pale blue liquid down her throat.
"Try to swallow, Sophie," Elwin ordered.
No! her mental voice echoed through his head.
"It's okay, Sophie," Fitz whispered.
"Don't fight the medicine," Elwin added. "Your body isn't ready to be awake. I promise it will be okay."
He knew she would be scared. So he transmitted You're going to be okay. Just sleep.
For the next week he barely left her side. Every hour he sprayed a bit of Fade Fuel for her to breathe in. Dex, Keefe, and Biana all stopped by at different times, and her slightly creepy and extremely intimidating new bodyguard, Sandor, joined him a day after Sophie'd been moved to Everglen, but none of them felt Fitz's guilt. If she died, it would be his fault. He should have stopped her from going into the caves. He shouldn't have let Dex chase after her, he should have gone himself. It should have been him. He would have been able to save her. And if he hadn't, he would have protected her from the kidnappers. He wouldn't have gotten shot by a melder like some other idiot he knew.
But hindsight was a dangerous game to play.
His mother forced him away once, and of course, that was the time Sophie chose to wake up. But still, regardless of when she woke, he was glad she was safe and healed.