I thought about doing a video on Sunday, but decided against it when I realized just how stressed and anxious I was.
Cain had been trying to get me to come over all week, but I had rejected the offer multiple times. I wasn't exactly happy with him acting as my personal bodyguard and scaring Callum away.
He didn't know the Callum I had seen Monday night. The Callum with scars all over his body and a sad, distressed look in his eyes. He didn't see the Callum that was trying to recover from rumors that turned his life inside out. The Callum that had nearly gone down for my rape because I was too scared to speak up.
"Penny for your thoughts?" my father stood in my doorway, his glasses slightly askew on his nose as he looked down at me, eyes trained on my half open laptop.
"There's not really anything to tell. Just thinking." I replied, avoiding his questioning look. He huffed out a loud sigh before making his way toward me and pushing my laptop to the other side of the bed, taking its spot as he spoke.
"Honey, you know I'm here if you want to talk about anything, anything at all." he reached out a pushed a strand of my hair out of my eyes. I could feel them starting to sting as I stared at him. At the man that had taken care of me my entire life, had given up his job to raise us while Mom worked. I told him everything, he knew more about my life than anyone else.
But I had never been strong enough to tell him about that night.
Even now, years after Tommy's death, I knew it was take a toll on him. I couldn't force the words out, couldn't beg him not to tell anyone before finally telling him.
"I know, Daddy." I whispered. He moved closer and pulled me into his familiar, warm embrace. I rested my head against his chest, feeling his chin on the top of my head as I ran his fingers through my dark hair comfortingly.
"I know it seems like I haven't really been all here since. . . since then. I seemed to have forgot that I still had three wonderful kids here, needing their father. And you, my little baby, needed me the most and I wasn't here for you. I'm sorry." he said quietly, a heavy sadness in his voice.
"It's okay, Dad. It's-"
"No, it's not okay. You two were close and I only cared about how I felt, about me. All while my little girl was silently reaching out, she needed my hand, you needed my hand." He pulled back and cupped my cheek with a bitter smile, "I'm so sorry, Kasey."
I stared at him for a moment, taking in the new wrinkles around his eyes and the gray along his stubble and lining his thinning dark hair. He looked as if he'd aged over ten years in the last few.
"Dad." I whispered, squeezing his hand, "I understand. You were hurting and-"
"And that didn't give me a reason to abandon my kids, Kase. I want you guys to feel as though you can tell me anything. That's always what I've wanted and I. . . I failed with Thomas." the last of his words came out choked, his head whipping away from me as if he were shielding me from seeing the tears in his eyes.
"You didn't fail, Dad." I assured him, "Thomas. . . you did everything in your power to help him."
"But it wasn't enough. He was drowning and I didn't realize I needed to throw him the life preserver." it was then, seeing the tortured look in my father's eyes that the hard shell I had built around my heart started to crack.
"Dad." I breathed out, my hands beginning to shake as I gripped the sheets beneath me, "I need to tell you something."
"Anything." he took in my current state, "Are you okay, baby girl? Did someone hurt you?"
I nodded, bowing my head as I pushed all flashes of memories from my head, bit the inside of my lip until it started bleeding to stop myself from crying.
"Daddy." I choked out, "Somebody raped me."
He stayed quiet for so long that I thought he may have left. I lifted my head after a few minutes of silence, surprised to find his face in his hands, red spreading across it like a wildfire.
"Are you sure, Kasey? You didn't agree or give the consent-"
"I was fourteen." I somehow found the strength to go on, "I didn't want to do that yet, Daddy. I just. . ." I trailed off, feeling tears finally starting to fall on to my cheeks.
"Who?" it was barely audible. I swallowed, feeling my throat starting to close up as tears started to come at a steady flow.
"Kasey, sweetheart. I need you to tell me who hurt you." something snapped in him then because he sat upright within seconds, "You were fourteen? Baby girl, that was almost three years ago. Why. . ."
"I couldn't." I cut him off, "Not after what happened to Tommy. I couldn't make you feel worse."
"Make us feel worse?" he reached out and took my face in his hands, "Kasey, honey, how we feel about it doesn't matter. You shouldn't have had to live with this. Buried deep down. No matter what's going on, what happens in your life matters to me, do you understand that?" he questioned, eyes roaming my face.
"Yes." I whimpered.
"Kasey, I need you to tell me who did it so I can-"
"You can't do anything!" I gasped, fear suddenly spreading through me, "No, Dad. You can't. . .you can't do anything."
"What do you mean? Kasey, did he threaten you?" Dad's voice held a warning tone itself.
"You can't do anything, Daddy. Please don't." I pleaded, shaking my head repeatedly.
"Kasey." Dad grabbed my arm roughly, "You need to tell me who he is and if he threatened you."
I could see Mom and Kassandra in the doorway, both stiff with shock as they watched us with wide eyes and opened mouths. There was no doubt in my mind they had heard most of the conversation.
"He said he'd do it again." I looked away from my family, "He said if I told anyone it was him that he'd find a way to do it again, but I wouldn't be as lucky if that happened."
"Jesus." Kassy breathed out in the doorway.
"As lucky? Is that a death threat? Rodger?" Mom gasped in the doorway, her hands clenching her shirt over her heart.
"What does that mean?" I whispered, looking away from Mom and to my dad in front of me, "Dad, what does it mean if that's a death threat?"
"Nothing, Kasey, honey. Not right now. We. . . honey, I hate to say this, but we need proof. If we don't have it, it is only he said she said."
"The rumors at school." My sister jumped in, "Would those be enough?"
"No." Dad shook his head.
"I. . ." I trailed off as I slowly took my shirt off, glad that I had decided to wear a tank top underneath it today. I turned my back to my father, my entire body trembling.
"My shoulder blade, Dad. There's a. . . he had a Championship ring, like Thomas'. It. . . It dug into me so bad that it left a scar." it felt strange, saying it aloud.
I had stared at the mark in the mirror every morning for the last two years, had shaken my head whenever Steph asked if I wanted to go down to the beach or swimming. I couldn't. I couldn't be in water or let anyone see the mark, it-
"Take a picture of it, Rodger. We can call my brother and talk to him." Mom cried from the door. I felt Dad grip my other shoulder, his voice soft.
"Was the boy one of your brother's friends?" he asked. I winced. I turned my body back in his direction and lowered my head, a tightening in my chest as I tried to force the name out.
"Aiden." I could barely hear it myself, so I was surprised to see Dad's entire body grow tense.
"Aiden?" Kassandra frowned, "As in Aiden Callaway? As in Tommy's best friend?"
The three of them stared at me, two pairs of eyes with desperation and one with confusion. After a second, I fell back against my dad's chest and nodded, gripping his shirt in my hand.
"Yes, yes, Daddy. Aiden raped me."
***AN***
Not a super eventful chapter, but a necessary and important one.
Let me know what you thought!
~ChasingMadness24