Chapter 5
I decide to sleep there with her. So she knows she's not alone. Matt leaves, of course, giving her a fake kiss and walking out of the door texting someone. He doesn't love her like I do, I know it. He hasn't fallen as hard as me. Maybe he should fall. Or be stabbed. Or tripped. "Accidentally."
Stop, Josh.
The words are out of my mouth before I can stop them. "Why do you love him?" I ask. I look down as I feel the heat rise to my cheeks. Her stare burns a hole in my head.
"I don't know. I guess everyone just expects me to love him," she says softly, almost too softly.
"What do you mean?"
"I don't know if I love him. He's been kind of a..."
"Dick? Asshole? Bitch? Player?"
"Josh!" she scolds me. "I thought you liked him."
"I don't." I clamp my hand over my mouth, it's like I can't control it today. "I'm sorry ... I didn't mean that. I've just had a long day."
"I understand."
We sit there for a few minutes. Until she speaks up, the dreaded words falling off her mouth like a piece of glass that will fall and shatter our friendship.
"Why do you like Claudia?"
"I don't. She's more like a sister. I love her, but not in that way."
"Oh," she says. I look at her beautiful face, covered in scars, bruises, and scratches. I reach out and caress her injuries lightly, making her eyes look into my hazel ones. I hate to see her in so much pain, so much suffering. But there's nothing I can do about it now.
"I'm so sorry this happened," I tell her.
"Josh, you've already apologised like ten times today. I'll be okay, I really will," she says.
"I hate to see my best friend in pain when we could be laughing and playing around."
She smiles, remembering the moments we've shared together. "I love you, Josh. You're like my brother."
I don't know why I feel a pang of hurt in my chest when I hear that. I guess knowing the truth hurts. Knowing the truth that she doesn't love me back in a way I want her to.
"Love you, too, Jen. Get some rest, you need it," I tell her, planting a soft and gentle kiss on her forehead. I lay down on the couch in the corner of the room.
As soon as my head hits the pillow, I realise how tired I actually am. I just didn't know if because I was too busy worrying about Jennifer and being jealous of Matt the brat.
Thanks for the hundred reads, guys. :)