Finally a gender neutral one. Tell me how it goes or if your need help.😋
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DELIAI
I fear God. I don't trust him. I am afraid what he is going to do. I am afraid of what will happen every day... If I go outside, what will be waiting for me? There's something wrong out there. Something's not right.
How can I trust trust in God? How can I trust the one who took my father away? How can I trust the one who turned my mother into a drunk? How I trust the one who put me in the house of someone who abused me? Every day I lived in fear. What would happen if I stepped outside my room? I didn't know what was waiting for me. I never knew what would wake up that day. The creep, the angry one, the monster... I didn't even want to get out of bed anymore. It got too hard. I was too scared. I would hide and pray to God to help me. But God never did. My childhood was gone and my only escape was adulthood.
Even if God didn't do it why did he let it happen? I can't handle it... I'm going crazy.. The fear is crippling me... I have to drag myself out of bed and force myself to live each day... Sure, I put on this happy face... People think I am pretty(handsome) cheerful... No one cares to see the pain under my skin... The pain that's ripping at my soul.