6 years earlier..
I chewed my nail looking at the date in the calendar on my phone. I was late.. Not a day, not 2 days but by 4 weeks. I paced the bathroom trying to think of some logical explanation. Maybe it was stress? Maybe I gained a few too many pounds? Maybe Mother Nature skipped me this month? Who am I kidding?
Picking up the packet, I sat down on the toilet and read the instructions carefully before doing the test.
Placing it on the side, I finished up and washed my hands before sitting on the edge of the bath waiting.
This was gonna be bad, I could feel it in my stomach. The anxiety, the dread, how I wanted the world to swallow me whole. It shouldn't be happening.. We were careful. We were always careful!
After the allotted time, I picked up the test and read the words.
My heart plummeted.
"Oh god, oh good god." I cradled my stomach in happiness and fear. This wasn't suppose to happen, it wasn't suppose to be like this!
Pulling out my phone, I shook my head at the screensaver of myself, Aaron, Nick, Zak and Devin.
I text Devin and waited for a response, he had just moved to California which meant he was constantly busy getting himself settled in.
This was a disaster, my already breaking heart was contending with one problem. I didn't need to be blessed with a baby, I wasn't fit enough to be a mom.
Holding the phone in my shaky hands, I text Zak.
- We need to talk..
Zak -What about?
- I'm late...
Zak - Why are you telling me? Get rid of it.
- Zak.. The baby might be yours...
Zak - I don't want kids. Do the right thing and book yourself a clinic. We were a mistake. I'm with Holly, I want to make a go of things, I don't want you. I don't love you, I never have and never will, you need to get that into your head.
I dropped my phone as I covered my mouth. Tears flooded my eyes making it impossible for me to see as I cried at the text message he had sent.
My cries turned to sobs as I read the message over and over again. Each word cutting like a knife. I couldn't explain when it happened but it did, I had fallen in love with a player and I had gotten my heart broken more than I wanted to admit. But even now, if he turned up, knocked on my door and gave me a small smile.. I'd have him in a heartbeat. Something was wrong in my mind, in my heart. I couldn't say no to him. Maybe he knew that, maybe he acted on that too..
I gasped for air when my phone rang beside me.
Devin
"Hey!"
"H-hey."
"Scarlett? What's up? Have you been crying?" He asked.
"Y-yeah. I'm so sorry."
"Sorry? Sorry for what?"
"I- I'm late Devin."
I paused as the line went quiet.
"You're pregnant aren't you?"
"Yes." I cried.
"H-how? We were careful! I used a condo- fuck."
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry,"
"Scarlett, truthfully..."
"Yeah?"
"Could the baby be someone else's? Cause I was real careful, I always am." He asked.
"I don't know right now, I don't know how far along I am."
"Okay.. Look, give me a couple hours okay? I'll come to you, we can sort this out, talk and find out where we go from there.."
"O-okay."
"Okay. I'll see you soon."
"Bye." I whispered hanging up.
***
Few days later..
"Miss Summers?" A doctor spoke making my hand tighten on Devin's.
"It's okay. I'm right here with you."
We slowly entered the room and explained why we were here. After another test, the doctor confirmed I was pregnant.
"Let's see how far along you are so we can get dates sorted." He smiled happily not having a clue every single part of my mind was screaming at me.
I kept quiet worried that any second Devin may flee the room to escape from being chained to me through a baby.
"Well, with the growth of the baby, and from the date of your last period.. I'd place you around the 6 - 8 week mark." He answered turning to give us a friendly smile.
"6-8 weeks?" I asked.
"We have to give it a two week buffer, but looking at this, I would say you are closer to the 7 week mark." He confirmed.
I looked at Devin watching his mind working it out. "C-can we have a moment alone.. Please?" I asked looking at the doctor.
"Yes of course."
He gave a polite smile and left the room. "Devin?"
"I- I know we were always at it for the first week and a half. But I couldn't have made you pregnant in less than a week. I- I mean we used something every time." He stressed. "Unless..."
"Unless what?" I asked.
"Unless the baby isn't mine. 7 weeks he said. We aren't even together, it's just a bit of fun." He answered.
"I know."
"We were careful Scarlett, I mean if the baby is mine by some miracle then I'll support you but you know I'm with Nadia now."
I lowered my head "I know that too."
"This isn't some sick joke is it? To win me back?"
I looked at him "No, no! Of course it isn't. I called you because you have the right to know. I- I've already said to the other person.."
He nodded taking my hand "What has he said?"
"It's not good news." I sniffled.
"You have a gut feeling don't you?" He asked.
I nodded when truthfully I had no idea. My life was a mess. Everything was such a freakin' mess.
Here I was in some cruel twist of fate pregnant, when it was only 2 years ago, that I was sneaking around with Nick. He promised me so much, a home, a family.. But then he told me his wife was pregnant. And the small fairytale came down.
I leant on Zak, threw myself into working with him, and eventually fell for his bad boy ways. Sure he was a red card to anyone wanting to settle down and have a family. But we were just fun until I got feelings. They ran deeper than I imaged, deeper than what I had with Nick. I felt drawn to Zak, something Nick would always get jealous over. He always brought it up when we were together but I thought maybe it was just because I found him attractive. He was bulking up and was an outrageous flirt. And one night, a few bottles of wine and beer later, we were at it like rabbits. Not a fairytale start, but it just went from there. We would meet up, fall into bed, part ways and carry on.
A whole year of it and I fell for the man I saw behind the camera, the goofy laughs and stupid moments. The hyperactive child that sprung out in him and the sensitive soul he had became.
And Devin? Right place right time, for when he split up from his girlfriend and when Zak insisted Holly was the one for him. Devin was looking for a rebound, I was looking for attention. We had an unhealthy toxic fling.
This was Karma and she sure kicked me in the ass hard.
***
I walked to Zak's front door, I knew that this would end badly, because for one? I wasn't going to do as he said, I just wanted him to tell me to my face that he didn't want this child. And two, he was having my notice, because no matter what, things have changed.
Knocking gently, I waited. Brushing off my top, I held my head a little higher than normal and took a breath when the door opened.
"Oh. It's you." Holly said looking at me in disgust.
"I-is Zak there?"
"He is. But he is busy... After that text he's thrown himself into work."
"I- I really need to speak with him."
"Well he doesn't want to speak with you! You've caused enough damage."
"Please Holly-"
"Don't please Holly me! Can't you see he doesn't want you, which is why he's asked me to tell you that you're fired."
"I get th-"
"And if you cared about him. You'd do exactly what he said and get rid of it."
"I-"
"Get off the property before I call security, you home wrecking slut." She spat slamming the door in my face.
I let out a shaky breath and dipped my hand into my bag pulling out a scan photo with a white little smudge on screen.
"Nobody wants us baby. Nobody wants me and I promise, I'm gonna do everything in my power to protect you. It's just me and you baby... It's just me and you." I whispered walking away with a tear running down my cheek.