G's Point of View:
Tita Fiona called Fyle this morning to inform him that they're going back to Philippines and are planning to stay long. I was excited because I haven't seen them for six years already. Along with the excitement is the fear I've been keeping. Their coming back home only means the official announcement of some things. Tito Henry and tita Fiona owned the biggest telecommunication company abroad and they planned to merge it with ours which my parents agreed too.
Nasasaktan ako hindi dahil mahal ko pa si RC. Well, that's part too. Pero mas nasasaktan ako dahil hindi ko mahal si Fyle kagaya ng pagmamahal na meron siya para sa'kin. But who knows? Baka matutunan ko ring suklian ang pagmamahal niya.
"Misis ko, do well in class." Pahabol niya matapos naming magpaalam sa isa't isa.
Nginitian ko lang siya at saka naglakad patungong locker room. Anyways, the bad guys have been seized last week. After what happened to me, RC made sure they will be caught. Sumikip ang dibdib ko nang maisip 'yon. Nakakatouch lang kasi.
Napaatras ako nang buksan ko ang locker ko. Nalaglag pa ang tatlong buds ng roses mula sa bouquet na nasa loob ng locker. Darn. Kanino naman galing 'to? Since last week pa 'to eh.
Napapikit ako at nang buksan ko ang mga mata ko't iginiya sa pakanan ko, nakita ko si RC na nakatitig sa'kin. Nag-iwas nalang ako ng tingin. Kinuha ko ang bulaklak sa locker ko at walang pagdadalawang isip na itapon ito sa trash bin.
I promised to Fyle I'll try hard. Kaya iiwasan ko lahat ng pwedeng maging dahilan para masaktan si Fyle.
I WAS TRYING with all my best to cater all my attention to nothing but the class discussion. Kahit papaano ay nakapag-concentrate naman ako. A moment later, isang estudyante amg pumasok at nakipag usap saglit kay Professor.
"Ms. Sy. Proceed to the Student Affair's Office."anang Professor namin nang makaalis ang estudyanteng kausap.
What? Ako? Ano'ng ginawa ko? Ba't ako?
"Miss Sy?"
"Ah-- po? Aalis na po."
Ugh. Kaasar! Nagmamadaling lumabas ako ng klase at pumanhik sa office na asar na asar. Pagkapasok ko agad, wala akong ibang nakita kundi si RC na pasimpleng nakaupo sa harap ng table niya.
"What's this prank all about, Mr. Villacruz?"sita ko sa kanya.
"Have a seat. There are few things we have to discuss."he replied wearing a look of sincerity.
Ugh. Napilitan akong umupo sa harap niya. Ano'ng pag-uusapan namin? As if on cue, he handed me a folder. Kinuha ko naman agad at binuklat. In there are some school policies and regulations. I don't see where this is going.
"What--"
"Check all the pages."
I flipped the paper and saw the next page stating the consequences of the latter violations.
"I don't see where this is all going--"I was cut off midsentence when he spoke.
"Skipping classes. Disregarding the school uniform. Opening unauthorized rooms and offices--- What else is there again?"
"Damn it, RC! Are you threatening me for not following the rules of my own school?"naiinis na bulyaw ko sa kanya.
"Is that what you think it is? You're responsible for that statement. You said it yourself."
Napakuyom ako ng palad sa sobrang inis sa kanya. Ba't kaya ang hina ko minsan? Lahat naman talaga ng school policies na nakalagay sa loob ng folder ay ang mga rules na nilalabag ko. Kahit anong pagmamalaki ang gawin ko na akin ang paaralan na 'to, I will only lose the case if I'm going to fight it over because my parents made it clear to me that fair treatment will always be observed when it comes to me... And I must mention, a debate with him??? Sino ba'ng nakakatalo sa matalinong unggoy na 'to!?
"Don't worry, Miss Sy. This is only a warning."pukaw niya sa isipan kong naglalakbay. Without saying anything more, tumalikod na ako. "And can you check the last page, please?"
I stopped. Sumunod naman ako sa sinabi niya. Written in bold letters, the statements say: I LOVE YOU. I WILL, G. Always.
Hindi ko magawang humarap sa kanya matapos basahin 'yon. Lecheee. Pati mga daga sa dibdib ko, nagrarambulan na. Ugh. Hindi ko rin magalaw ang paa ko. Umiinit ng sobra ang pisngi ko. Ano'ng nangyayari sa'kin?
Tinatanong pa ba 'yan G? Like seriously?
"Brown eyes."
Damn. Damn. Ano na???? Napapikit na lang ako nang naramdaman ko siyang nakayakap na sa'kin from behind. A pair of tears fell off from each corner of my eyes.
"Please... Don't go away. Stay in my life, brown eyes."
"RC. Stop this, will you?"
Sa sobrang inis ko ay wala akong ibang nasabi. Bagkus pa ay umiyak na lang ako.
"G... alam ko namang mahal mo parin ako eh. Look. Of all people, it's you who can understand better what I feel towards you. Naranasan mo rin 'to diba? I just can't ignore it. Hayaan mo naman akong mahalin ka---"
"Hindi na nga pwede! Ano ba'ng mahirap intindihin do'n! Hindi na pwede, Cynth. Kaya tumigil ka na oh. Things are different now."sumamo ko nang harapin ko siya. "I don't want to hurt my fiancé so please... tigilan mo na ako."
Bago pa niya ako mapigilan, tumakbo na ako palabas ng office. Umiiyak akong dumiretso sa CR. Doon na ako humagulhol ng malakas. Dapat masaya na ako ngayon. Mahal ako ng taong mahal na mahal ko... Pero hindi ko magawang magsaya. Hindi ko kayang maging makasarili. In the first place, ako mismo ang pumasok sa gulong 'to. I was too broken last time that made me ask Fyle to marry me. That was really crazy, wasn't it? Pero gusto kong panindigan ang sinabi ko sa araw na 'yon dahil ayokong may masaktan na namang ibang tao.
xxx
One week more to go and it will be our graduation. Finally, makakawala narin ako sa pangungulit niya. Yes. Our last encounter at the Student Affair's Office didn't stop him from badgering me, which was so annoying. Feeling ko, kunting push nalang niya, tuluyan na akong mawawala sa katinuan ko.
Hindi niya alam kung gaano kahirap balewalain siya. Siya na nag-iisang minahal ko sa loob ng mahabang taon. Siya na nakakapagpasaya sa'kin ng sobra without even doing anything. Siya na... mundo ko.
"Miss Sy!"gigil na asik nong matandang guro namin na siyang nagsusupervise ng graduation practices namin.
Ayan bess. Kita mo na? Pahamak lang sa'yo 'yang RC na 'yan eh. Naiwan na pala kasi ako sa linya sa kakaisip ko sa nakakaasar na nilalang na 'yon.
"G? Okay ka lang?"nag-aalalang tanong ni Khei sa'kin during breaktime. "Bigla kang natutulala."
"Okay lang ako. May naisip lang."
"May ipagtatapat nga pala ako."saad niyang nagpakaba sa'kin. "Ayokong maulit ang nangyari dati sa'tin. Kaya kahit na anong mangyari, gusto ko lang na... alam mo 'yong totoong nararamdaman ko."
"Hindi na 'yong mauulit pa, bess."
"Well. I hope so... ang totoo kasi G... just last week when Fyle wasn't able to fetch you, he was with me. Naglasing ako and I was so scared dad might know. Siya 'yong natawagan ko."
I don't know where she's leading me to but...
"G. I kissed him... I kissed your fiance. Nothing happened to us more than that. But that night made me recognized the pain I was feeling. Partly, it's because of RC. Pero nakapa ko sa dibdib ko, G... I like him. I like your fiancé."she courageously confessed.
What? 'Yong biro niyang gusto niya si Fyle ay totoo?
"G. Don't bother thinking what to do... ayaw kong sirain kayo. Ang gusto ko lang, alam mo 'yong 'totoo. Ayokong maglihim sa'yo. Ayokong gawin ulit ang mali ko noon. In the first place, you're my bestfriend."
HINDI AKO MAPAKALI nang sunduin na niya ako. Shemaaay. Kinakabahan ako.
"Baby doll? Are you alrigh--"
"Yes. I'm fine."I replied quickly which made me earn a frown from him.
"Something's wrong here. I can sense it. Ano 'yon, G?"
xxx
Fyle Hendrix' Point of View:
Kanina pa siya pasulyap-sultap sa'kin. Her glances are implying something and I can't just let that go.
"Fyle, wala."
"Come on. Baby, just tell me."I egged on.
"I want you to know that... uhm.. I am... not mad--"
"That's great."
"Fyle, I've known what happened last week... about you and Khei---"
What?
"Don't get me wrong. Babydoll, I don't want to lie--- I--"
"Eyes on the road, Spec."
"G. Let me explain first."
"No need for that, Fyle. Hindi naman ako galit eh. Ang gusto ko lang din... malaman mong hindi ka dapat nagsinungaling."
"I'm sorry. I promise, none of it will happen again."I assured her and squeezed her hand. "I love you, babydoll."
Alam kong hindi parin ako ang mahal niya. Pero kaya kong maghintay hanggang sa dumating ang araw na tuluyan kong mabago 'yon. I won't give up on her.
xxx
Hinarangan ako ni Sophia nang akmang pasukin ko ang school gymnasium. Lalo akong naku-curious na pumasok dahil sa ginawa niya.
"May---may meeting 'yong teachers!"she reasoned out which I doubt is true.
"Out of the way, Sophie. Liars go to hell."
"Don't call me Sophie. It's a forbidden name and I swear, I'm not lying."
"Sophie, napaghahalataan ka. Kilala kita. You kept on blinking more than normal whenever you lie."nakangising sabi ko sa kanya.
Natameme naman siya do'n.
"Sige na. Alis na."taboy ko ulit sa kanya. "I'm going in."
"Don't you dare!"sigaw niya. "Try to move and I will kiss you."pananakot niyang nagpatawa sa'kin ng bahagya.
"Wag mo 'kong tawanan dahil hindi ako nagbibiro--"
I shut her mouth by sealing her lips with a kiss. When I felt her being stunned with eyes widely opened, I left and went in the gym. And it was one of the stupidest mistakes I did in my life.
"... I will. I will, G. Lalayo ako. Just tell me straight to my eyes, tell me that it's not me anymore. Sabihin mong hindi mo 'ko mahal."
"Cynth, tama na! Oo na, mahal pa kita. Mahal na mahal kita!!! ...pero hindi na pwede! Bakit ba ang kulit mo?"umiiyak na tugon ni G. "Pinapahirapan mo 'ko eh! You don't know how hard it is for me to stop thinking of you when you're everything I think about! Hindi mo alam, Cynth. Hindi mo alam kung gaano kahirap pigilan ang nararamdaman ko."
"That's where you're wrong. It's the way I felt for you for the past years. Iniiwasan kita, tinataboy, kahit ang totoo ay mahal kita at gustong-gusto kitang kasama. G, bigyan naman natin ng pagkakataon ang mga puso natin. Mahal natin ang isa't isa---"
"Ayoko siyang saktan!"
"You already are hurting him just with the fact that it's me that you love!"
"Tumigil ka na. Tumigil ka na!"she blared out but he was fast, he hugged her. "There's no more time for us, Cynth. I just wish there is. Pero wala eh. Maybe, yes... we're meant to love each other. But we aren't meant to be together."she cried out as she hugged him back.
"Fyle."
Napalinga ako sa gawi ni Sophia. Nakatingin siya sa'kin, kinakaawaan ako. What the hell! I'm not a charity case here. That jerk may be right about them loving each other but G's mine!!!
"Tara na, Fyle."tawag ni Sophia sabay hila sa'kin palabas.
I felt so stupid... stupid that I left there the woman I love in the arms of the man she loves... stupid because I didn't do anything.
... I felt so stupid that I love a woman whose heart belongs to someone else.