CHAPTER 16 (DONE EDITING)
He stared at me blankly but I saw confusion in his eyes as he grasped the newspaper.
My anger flared.
"Damn it Xavier, what is going on?!" I cried. "You weren't there in Miami last Friday night! You were with me!"
The confusion left his eyes but a foreign cold look replaced it.
"Just leave it Annabelle."
Annabelle. Not Annie nor Belle. Just Annabelle.
My hands clenched into fists, "How can I just leave it?! People think you are some pothead player who carries STD's!"
"Annabelle," he warned.
"Don't you care, Xavier?!"
"No, now stop it." He was getting angry but I didn't care.
"Everything you have could be gone if you carry on like this. What about your friends?"
He cuts in, "I have no real friends."
Well that was a low blow. I faltered for a second, feeling sick to the stomach as his harsh words repeated themselves in my head.
"What about your dad?" I managed to choke out.
His tough boy illusion seemed to break as he took in my words and I knew, I knew that the boy I cared about was there somewhere, but a cold expression took over his features once again.
"Annabelle, just go."
My will to stay wavered but I just needed to know.
Needed to know the truth, who he really was.
"All of our talks, our songs and sleepovers... They meant nothing to you? So little in fact that instead you go find your satisfaction and fulfilment in strip clubs?"
He nodded his head, stiffly, while looking out the floor with his hands clenched into fists.
I felt so close to crying.
Within all that time, I had grown so close to Xavier that I didn't want to let him go.
But I sighed, "I got a letter from your management. I was told to stay away from you."
He didn't say anything. His hands stayed clenched while he looked up at me with sad, exhausted eyes.
"Maybe it's for the best. For my benefit," I said. He didn't respond, he just stared at me.
"I hope you'll be happy Xavier, doing whatever you do now with your life."
Say something. Please. Just say something.
He didn't.
So I left.
My eyes were filling with tears as I reached the door and as I opened it I heard a groan behind me. I turned, I shouldn't have, but I turned and saw Xavier bury his face into his hands.
Say something.
I waited. I shouldn't have but he looked up and caught my gaze. His eyes were tired and regretful, he looked pale and most of all looked sad.
Say something.
I could see he wanted to speak. To say something. I knew he did. But whatever secret he kept held him back.
"Belle..." He trailed off and sighed.
I didn't say anything but waited.
He sighed and groaned again, in frustration, rubbing his face with his hands.
"Belle, the person you see in those photos, he's not me."
"Who is he then?"
He sighed, "A paid actor. He pretends to be me." I knew he didn't want to say anything more, but we might as well get the full truth out.
"Who pays him? Why does he pretend to be you?"
He gave me pleading eyes, "I've said too much already."
I moved closer to the door.
"Wait," He called and then he sighed again, "It was management. My management are the ones who pay him. They do it so I can get more publicity. He enjoys it though. I don't."
I walked towards him, away from the door and kneeled on the bean bag in front of him.
"Can't you tell them to stop? I mean your dad is their boss."
He shakes his head, "My dad doesn't know. I have to do everything they tell me or they'll gang up on me and overthrow him. I can't do that to him," He sighs, "He cares about this job too much."
"Xavier, I'm sure you can tell your dad something. They couldn't do that to him, I mean he is Mr. Matthews. They're merely peasants compared to him!"
Xavier chuckled but shook his head, "They told me that, with all of the money I have earnt for them, they'll be able to buy their way into a legal system."
This wasn't fair. Not fair at all.
It made me see how corrupted how fake this whole media business was. "Reality" TV shows weren't real, musicians weren't themselves. Hollywood just had this fabricated aura which gave such false pretences to the real world.
This business, it needed authenticity back into its life. Singers needed to be their own selves, make their choices, write their own stuff. Actors needed to come to terms between what is a movie and what is real life. Management and money hungry vultures needed to back off. This whole business should be about creativity, about the music they created, the movies they produce. Not the money, nor the status or luxury items involved nor how many girls they can get.
"I'll be okay Belle, I can handle them."
I looked at him, "But you're not happy."
He gave me a little smile, "I wasn't happy because you thought I was someone I'm not. Now you know the truth so everything is okay."
My heart fluttered. He shouldn't be allowed to say things like these!
I blushed before ever so smoothly changing the subject, "Don't you want everyone else to know who you really are?"
He shrugged, "I wish they did so they wouldn't have to say all this bad stuff about me but I guess it's okay for now. As long as my dad keeps the job he loves to death."
He wanted his dad to be happy. He was sacrificing his reputation for his dads sake without him even knowing!
It was funny. Because the world thinks they know Xavier. That he's some big tough kid who has no morals when in fact it is the complete opposite!
"Xavier, I know you care about your dad and his job, but don't you think he deserves to know?"
He nods, and gives a sad half smile, "You know that's how I got signed to the company. I played an acoustic stripped back version of one of my mum's favourite song, Fly Me to The Moon, by Frank Sinatra and he loved it. He didn't know I could perform. But after he signed me he got too busy with other musicians and a management team asked to be put in charge of me. That was how that crappy album was released."
He shook his head, "He probably thinks that I let all the attention get to my head, that I'm just another stupid teenage boy who can't handle the fame. He's probably disappointed that I stooped so low to sell that type of music."
"Have you ever thought about showing your real music to your dad?"
"I can't. If I did he would know something was up, then talk to my management and they would know I would have done something."
"Belle, I have to do everything they say. They are the gamemakers. I am just a pawn. They get everything, I get nothing. And I have no control over it."
I tried to convince Xavier to talk to his dad but that boy is a stubborn person. Instead he was called by his management to catch a flight down to New York City for a promotion or other advertisement or something along those lines. Soon he was gone and I was in Rose's room again with her and Talia. We were discussing what we wanted to do with our lives. Both of them knew that I lived for music, Rose wanted to dance and Tahlia was just telling us how she was interested in doing modelling and looked up to people like Cara Delevingne.
Today was the day the producers are finally going to tell us what the big surprise was. We were all a bit nervous hoping that it wasn't something extreme.
We all nervously ate breakfast as we waited impatiently, noticing the sly looks the producers and management were sending our way. Soon at nine o'clock on the dot we were herded into the posh living room and our makeup was done and wardrobe check so we didn't "clash" with each other. I was wearing faded denim jeans and a red flannelette with white high top Converses simple and easy while my hair fell in little ringlets from my shower. The production team set up the lights and cameras and soon they were filming. I heard the theme song in the background and then I saw the director signal to Elliot to walk in and introduce the show.
With his usual opening and welcome and the usual scan over the remaining girls, Elliot started talking about the big secret.
"Now this week, it will be all about the girls," he started, "This week, we have a big surprise for them and we'll all be finding out, after the break."
The director called cut and we took a break. The makeup crew buzzed around us girls touching up our faces so it wouldn't be washed out from the lighting and soon we were back.
The show opened and Elliot continued, "This week we'll be sending each girl back to their home town. There, we will get an insight to their lives before the show, we'll be meeting their parents and their best friends. We'll be seeing what they get up in their spare time and learn more about each individual."
Surprise!
A/N: Aww Annie doesn't have parent :(
I am so so so so sorry this was so late.
Also, I'm not sure if I saaid this in the last chapter but the reputation Xavier has is pretty much the same as Justin Bieber's current rep. Not so great. Yet people still love him.
Much love! Xx
Alexis
QOTU: Who would you turn gay for??