I knew it was pointless.
Mother Nature had a way of rooting Herself deeply into our lives and messing with everything when we least expected it: the weather, instincts, hormones, death. All would come for us one day, no exceptions. I knew that, and I still pressed my legs together as tightly as I could, hoping for a miracle.
I let out an exasperated sigh, though it came out more like a whine. Thankfully, no one could hear it with all the noise around. People talked and laughed, kids screamed, someone played the guitar, their friends singing along. None of them paid any attention to me. I was just another visitor to the park, and there was nothing special about me—not in their eyes. They had no idea what I was going through. And why should they? I shouldn't even be going through this right now. I turned my gaze to the ground, forcing myself to study the gravel in an attempt to calm myself down, but that wasn't going to happen anytime soon.
Of all the fucking places to get a fucking erection because I randomly fucking discovered that a girl I'd never even fucking seen before was my fucking soulmate. Fuck, fucking fuck. Fuck!
I could only blame those stupid instincts of mine.
If a normal guy saw an attractive girl, he'd try to talk with her and exchange numbers, or he'd pass up the opportunity and leave her alone because she was way out of his league anyway, but I . . . I was a werewolf. And this girl was my soulmate. Which meant that a perfectly civilized man like myself wanted nothing more than to run up to her and hump her like a horny dog. It was so dumb. What was I supposed to do? It would've been easier if she were a werewolf, too. She'd be experiencing the same thing. But she smelled human.
She sat on the bench next to mine, calmly reading a book. Her brown hair, which fell to her chin with a downward slant, covered the side of her face, but I could still see the spattering of freckles across the bridge of her button nose. Luckily for me, she wasn't paying attention to anything but the pages between her hands. Her nose wrinkled for a brief moment before she reached up to tuck her hair behind her ear. I melted.
How the hell did other werewolves do this?
If I were a woman, this would have been a lot less embarrassing. Nothing to see. I couldn't walk up to her with a boner . . . but I couldn't not walk up to her, either. Once I'd found my soulmate, I could never be with anyone else. No relationships, no hook-ups, not even a kiss—I'd been told it would always feel wrong with anyone else. This girl was basically my only chance at happiness. If she rejected me—
I couldn't even finish the thought.
I had to do something. I fumbled around in my pockets to find my phone. Advice. I needed advice.
There weren't many people I could talk to about this—in fact, there were only two, and one of them was my mother. She was definitely not the first person I'd ask for help when it involved boners. Neither was my brother, but out of the two, Leroy was the best option. I sent him a stream of messages with only the word "help" until he found his phone and responded.
[9:42 AM] Yes Trae, what is it?
I found my mate please help [9:42 AM]
[9:42 AM] Shit. Who is it?
Idk [9:42 AM]
I glanced at her again, as if I didn't already know exactly what she looked like. If I had paper and pencil, I could probably draw her from imagination. The arch of her brows, the bow of her lips, the roundness of her cheeks, I had memorized it all.
Scolding myself, I turned my attention to my phone again.
She's cute but I've never seen her before [9:42 AM]
[9:43 AM] What are you gonna do? Have you talked to her yet?
I would've talked to her if I didn't have a MAJOR PROBLEM RIGHT NOW. You get hard when you meet your soulmate remember? Why do you think I texted you? [9:43 AM]
[9:43 AM] Right. Well go jerk off or something.
Bro [9:43 AM]
What if she leaves? I can't risk that [9:44 AM]
[9:44 AM] Ask her if she wants to fuck.
Your advice sucks [9:44 AM]
[9:44 AM] I was kidding. Let me think.
I didn't have time for him to think. I had somewhere to be in twenty minutes. And who knew how much longer she planned to stay here? With every passing second, my heart beat faster. Sweat was gathering between my fingers and the back of my phone case.
When Leroy finally gave me his idea, I wanted to whine again.
He'd asked if I had anything to hold in front of my crotch, like a bag. I did, but it was made of plastic and not very big. What if I accidentally dropped it? What if it blew aside? What if it spontaneously combusted and burned away to a crisp until my crotch was completely uncovered? Alright, that was probably not going to happen, but there were so many things that could go wrong, I might as well add it to the list. Unfortunately, I couldn't think of a better alternative, so I thanked him and pulled out the bag. I took all of my belongings and dropped them inside to make it heavier before getting up from the bench.
Here goes nothing.
Clutching the bag in my hand, I walked over to the girl. If everything went right, she'd never know, and we could have a very normal first meeting. We could then go on dates and everything, and there would be nothing weird about it.
I took a deep breath and said, "Hey."
She looked up from her book, shutting it with her finger between the pages. I glanced at the cover and smiled. It was a title I recognized and had actually read. Thank you, Mother.
"Looking forward to the crying part?" I asked.
Her light brown eyes twinkled. "Don't spoil it!"
It took everything in me not to dive at her. The sound of her made every other sound in the park fade into the background, no matter how loud it was. Her voice was so warm and pleasant. I needed to hear more of it.
"I wouldn't dare," I promised. "It's a one-time experience."
"Did you cry?"
I wanted to cry right now—go away, boner.
"Maybe." I forced a smile onto my face. Honestly, I probably cried for half an hour when I'd finished the book. Maybe an hour. It was heartbreaking. "Maybe," I repeated, "but I won't say any more than that until you finish it. If you would . . . like to talk to me about it."
She leaned back on the bench and narrowed her eyes at me. Then, she shrugged, lips curling up. "Sure."
This time my smile came by itself. "Awesome. I, uh . . . I have to be somewhere, though—I have an appointment soon—so could I give you my number?"
"Why not?" she replied, reaching into her pocket to grab her phone.
When our hands brushed, I suppressed the urge to grab her instead of the phone. Her touch sent tingles up my arm and indecent thoughts to my brain. I had to end this. I felt her gaze on me as I rushed to enter my phone number with my free hand. Sweat was gathering again. I gave her another tight smile as I handed the phone back.
"Well, nice to meet you." She looked down at her screen and chuckled. "Trae?"
"Yeah. That's me. I'll be waiting for your text . . ."
"Mae," she finished, grinning.
No way. I couldn't help but laugh. Our names rhymed? That's ridiculous. But also kind of sweet. It was like a sign from the Mother that we were made for each other—a much better sign than an erection. Or maybe it was just a funny coincidence.
Either way, I had to go. I lifted my hand to wave.
The wrong hand.
Fuck.
I lowered the bag again, but by then, she'd already looked down.
Her eyes came up to meet mine before slowly lowering again, and back up, then back down. Her eyes were burning right through the flimsy plastic. Maybe it would combust after all. What was she doing? I could feel a drop of sweat sliding down the side of my neck. It made me shiver, and her scrutinizing gaze wasn't helping. Should I walk away?
"Do you need a hand?"
"I—What?"
Her lips quirked. "I asked if you need help with that."
I had to be dreaming, right? I had to be, because that sounded much more believable than this actually happening. I cleared my throat and stammered, "I, uh . . . well, yes, but—"
Mae rose with a smirk and grabbed my hand to drag me across the park to the public bathrooms. I was so shocked I couldn't find it in me to protest. I didn't want to anyway. It was a dream, not a nightmare. I reveled in the touch of her skin, so soft and warm, and the sound of her heartbeat, steady but fast. The scent of her, a mix of natural smells that blended together perfectly, filled my nose like thick smoke. I was hyper-aware of everything about her.
"I am curious, though," she said as we approached the bathrooms. "How did you get yourself into this situation?"
Situation? Oh. I groaned, hiding my face behind my hand. "Believe me, I wish I knew. It just . . . happens sometimes, you know? Part of being a man, I guess."
She laughed and pushed the door of the bathroom open, and that's when it finally started to sink in. We were about to get intimate in a toilet stall in the park. This was insane.
"Mae . . ." I said as she led me inside.
"Yeah?"
"Are you really gonna do this? I mean, don't get me wrong, I appreciate it a lot, and I'm not saying I don't want you to do it, but . . . we barely know each other."
"We can still get to know each other, right?"
I nodded. "That's true."
She reached for the front of my jeans, eyes staring into mine so intently it felt like she was looking for something. It made me heat up, though she wouldn't be able to see it on my dark skin. What was she looking for?
"What—" she pulled my zipper down "—is your favorite color?"
What? She wanted to get to know me right now?
This was the moment when I would wake up, surely. This was completely insane. I stared at her as she rested her hands on my waistband. My stomach fluttered. It took me far too long to think of an answer. "Uh . . . green."
"Like your eyes," she said. "Why?"
I gasped in surprise as she pulled my underwear down. "Oh, I—it reminds me of—of the woods."
She smiled. "You like the woods?"
Then her hands wrapped around me, and all I could think about was the feeling of it. My breathing was heavy and raspy. I forgot she'd asked me a question until I met her gaze again. "Uh, yeah, I . . . I practically live in the woods."
"That's amazing. I like it too."
Her face came closer, and for some reason, the prospect of being kissed surprised me. She literally had her hands on my dick. Why wouldn't she kiss me? Am I okay? Probably not.
With my pants on the floor and my heart on my sleeve, I stared at her lips, watching them slowly turn up. When our lips connected, I knew it definitely wasn't a dream. I'd kissed plenty of women before, but this was like the first time all over again. My father had told my brother and me that having a soulmate was better than being in love in every way possible, because you were chosen for each other. Not even unconditional love could compare to being with your soulmate, touching them, kissing them, making love to them. At the time, I'd laughed at that. It seemed so extreme. But now I felt stupid for laughing.
He was right. Nothing compared to this.
I brought my hands up to her head to pull us closer together, slipping my tongue past her lips when she let me. She surprised me with her hands, creating just enough pressure and friction to have my breath stopping halfway up my throat. The warmth and wetness of her mouth and her touch were clouding my mind. I felt embarrassed for acting like I hadn't had sex in ten years, but I couldn't help myself. Fuck, this amount of pleasure should be illegal.
It was over far too quickly.
When she pulled back, I automatically leaned forward, chasing after the sweet taste of her lips. She let out a soft chuckle as she reached for some toilet paper. The low, breathy sound of her amusement gave me shivers.
"You're welcome," she whispered.
"Uh . . . yes, thank you. Wow."
She tilted her head and stared at me for a moment before blowing a stray hair out of her face. She smiled. "Well, don't let me keep you from your appointment."
I nodded. "Right."
"I will let you know what I thought of the book. I promise I'll text you."
I returned the smile. "I'm looking forward to it."
And hoping she'd keep that promise.