~ [Evelyn] ~
While I was an education major, it was a requirement to take a science lecture and a lab course that worked alongside that lecture. In addition, I had to take a discussion class where there were only about twenty other students, one of which tried to befriend me today.
Dana Pham had her little pencil pouch out and it was a fuzzy bear with an elongated back and a zipper on it. Everything about her screamed high maintenance, but I didn't mind because I kind of had that issue, too. Her long black hair looked soft as it poured over her shoulders and reached her elbows at an even length. Her white shirt dress was unstained and pinched at the waist by her thin brown belt.
"Cute pouch," she noted as she smiled at me and pointed to the my piggy pouch, which wasn't as fuzzy but it did have a cartoon pig face on the end.
We made small talk for a while, because the TA was late and when fifteen minutes had passed, we followed the well known rule: If not seen in fifteen, you can leave.
I had to wake up early for work today, and after a lecture, I needed coffee. I was going to go after this discussion, but now's a good time as any. Sitting down at the table I was just sitting at the other day with Mason, I started to take out my notebook to see if I had done enough to prepare myself for the chemistry lab class I had within the next hour.
What could you possibly do in the lab that would need four entire hours? I won't even be able to head home until 10 tonight and that bugged me, especially since this class was located literally across campus from where I had parked my car. So I'll be walking through this giant school in the dark, alone and vulnerable.
I always carried pepper spray, but I mean, if they attacked me, how would I react fast enough? Ugh, fine. Let them attack me. As a college student, I've lost the ability to care.
"Hey, mind if I sit?" I looked up to see Dana standing beside the chair opposite of mine. I nodded at her with a small smile as I continued through my mental checklist: Pre-lab, goggles, apron, gloves, and appropriate clothes.
I couldn't wear anything cute today because they have a rule that my legs and shoulders should be covered, so I wore a pair of dark jeans, white tennis shoes, and a pink graphic tee. My shirt had a little winking cartoon tofu on it and read "I ❤️ tofu" with the word tofu strategically spaced like "to f u."
"So your name is Evelyn?" I could tell she was trying to make conversation and while I was exhausted, I thought it was sweet. Everyone at this school seemed to keep to themselves and I was starting to think that Harper might be the only friend I'll ever have, although, that doesn't sound all that bad.
"Yeah, you're Dana, right?" I tucked my things back into my bag and gave her my full attention.
"Yeah," she smiled at me and I smiled back, "So you don't seem like a chem major, why are you taking it?"
I rolled my eyes and sighed, making her laugh at my reaction to the mention of our chemistry class. The lectures reached three hundred students and the lessons looked like they were put together by a ten year old trying out powerpoint.
"I'm actually an education major, but I just wanted to get all the g.e.'s out of the way," I explained to her with a scowl on my face.
"And you chose chemistry? Are you nuts?" Her tone made me laugh, but I did realize how hard this subject was.
"It was the only class that fit my schedule, and even the lab was the only one that fit my schedule," I told her as I blew away a strand of hair that fell on my face.
"I feel you," she responded in sympathy, "I've been a chem major for a quarter and I'm exhausted." Her frown was enough for me to understand. "Last quarter, I poured acid on my hand and freaked out. I mean, it was diluted, but god that stung."
My eyes immediately darted down at her hands, which rested in her lap. She laughed and held them up, "No scars. It healed within a week, but the irritation was unbearable."
I took a sip of my coffee and nodded, "You should really think about switching majors. Although, the hot nerd look works on you."
She blushed as if she's never received a compliment in her life. "Oh, please. I couldn't get a guy to look at me twice even if I set my hair on fire."
She reminded me of how I was when I first met Harper, shy with guys and unwilling to try. We talked for the rest of the hour and she seemed pretty nice to me. We laughed at each other's stories and even came up with a few jokes that I guess are now our inside jokes. How can I make such a cool friend within an hour?
~o~
As I entered class, I was struck with a moment of pure panic as I spotted Liam standing at the far corner of the room. Ducking my head, I immediately tried to take a spot as far away from him as possible, in the back.
So naturally, as the handsome T.A. started to call out each student's name, I was quietly thinking fück, fück, fück!
"Evelyn Martinez."
I actually saw Liam's head shoot up as I raised my hand and weakly responded, "Here."
Ignoring Liam's eyes on me, I started to check out the T.A., who technically wasn't my teacher but rather... my mentor. He was tall and outrageously good looking, with his excellent bone structure, light stubble along his jaw, and tousled dirty blonde hair. I'm sure all the other girls and guys in the room were swooning, too, and I wouldn't judge anyone if they were to strip naked and offer themselves to him.
Heck, I was considering it myself.
Of course, I wouldn't, not because I wouldn't dare, but because there was a certain someone who would not take his freaking eyes off of me.
I mean, seriously, man. Blink or something.
I feel my phone vibrating and I found a text as I pulled it out of my pocket.
Harper Green: Don't kill anyone or make anything explode. But if you do, please for the sake of my amusement, record it. 😈
I rolled my eyes and quickly typed.
Me: Ugh. No, I'll be too busy dodging Liam in here. 😒
I turned off all sound on my phone and slipped it into my bag.
"Alright well, now, I'll let you quickly choose your partners and we can get started. Please keep in mind that this class is four hours and we now are on class time," I heard the T.A., Thomas, say.
I almost jumped out of my seat when I heard Liam beside me, "Hey, let's be partners."
Ugh. Do I have to?
He was wearing one of those thin hoodies that looked really comfy. I remembered how I used to steal them to sleep in. He'd always complain about his mom losing his hoodies in the wash. Oops.
"Um, okay," I told him politely and melted when his lips spread into a dazzling grin.
"Evelyn as my partner. It's an honor," he said happily as he pulled me into a hug and I tried my best to distract myself from the hard muscles on his arms and chest. I looked up to see that he was already looking down at me in our embrace. His eyes were the same soft brown eyes I've missed so much and no matter how hard I tried not to remember, the memories were all there, rushing back to me.
~[Flashback]~
I wondered if he realized how crazy this is. I've lived in this house all my life and this is the first time I've ever climbed onto the roof outside my window. And yet, here I am, trying something new again with him.
There's a fire searing my skin touching his as he grasped my hand and led me out onto the roof. We both sat down to stare up at the night sky and no matter how beautiful it was, I can't help but think about the fact that my hand was still in his, and his still wrapped around mine.
Does he know? Would he care? Why is it making me so out of breath?
I felt like a marathon runner at the finish line, happy and relieved, but I knew that this probably didn't mean anything to him. Friends held hands. And that's what we are. Friends.
"I can't believe you've never gone out here. I've snuck up here a million times and you're only now coming out," he teased quietly with his eyes on me in amusement.
"Well, maybe I just have better survival instincts," I laughed to myself.
"Yeah, well I have more fun," he squeezed my hand, and I realized that he's still holding it to make sure I don't fall. I'm sitting on a slanted surface, so it must be that, right?
"I can have soooo much more fun, especially since I'll be living longer," I lied down on my back and looked up at the stars that twinkled, as if winking at me. "The stars are so pretty," I sighed.
Liam just looked at me for a long moment, and I felt his hand become sweatier. Was it warm out here? With the light that poured out from my bedroom window, I could see all of his features perfectly, if not highlighted over this dark setting.
"What are you doing? Aren't we up here to talk? Why are you staring at me like that?" I didn't hesitate to question his stare because it was making me uncomfortable. I wasn't exactly ready to hang out, and I was actually about to go to bed, so my hair was in a messy bun and I had no makeup or pretty clothes on. Just a giant t-shirt that reached my knees and a pair of undies.
"Oh-uh-right," he stuttered as he rested on his back as well. "So Mason was wondering if you're going to that skate night thing."
"Why? Is he offering me a ride again, because I could get my dad to take me if I wanted to. And no, I'm not going. I'd prefer not to break my tailbone," I frowned at the thought.
"Aw, come on! What's life without a little falling-on-your-butt? You learn from it," he grinned as he turned to look at me. His face was freaking adorable and I wanted so badly to kiss his lips, but settled with his nose.
His eyes widened and he just stared at me silently.
"Geez, prude, much?" I teased him.
"What was that for?" He asked quietly, looking at my lips.
"It was a bribe for you to not make me go to this skate thing. I don't like falling on my butt."
He laughed and I savored the sound that proved to be music to my ears.
After a while, we stood up to head in, and just as I took my first step, my foot slipped and I felt myself falling. His hand still wrapped around mine, Liam quickly pulled me into his arms, pressed against his chest. I wrapped my arm around his waist tightly and squeezed my eyes shut.
As I finally looked up at him, I felt his gaze melt my everything and I couldn't help but feel that he might've wanted to kiss me too. But instead, he just chuckled lightly and said, "Wow, you really are afraid of falling. Don't worry, I won't let you."
Little did he know, I already was.
~[Real Time]~
We went straight to working on the lab procedures, and the four hours actually went by rather quickly. During the last ten minutes of class, I had to sit down at a table and work on my calculations of all the data that I had gotten during the experiment.
Liam was standing next to me, working on his own. Then, Thomas walked up to stand near me and said, "Wow, looks like you got a lot down."
"Yeah," I smiled at him. It wouldn't hurt to be nice to the guy who will grade me. "It was pretty successful."
"Beauty and brains, huh?" He smirked at me and I can't help but grin back.
As he walked away, I looked down at my papers, only to spot in my peripherals something unexpected. Clenched fists.
I turned to look at Liam with questioning eyes.
He holds his hard stare on his papers, but as soon as he saw me looking, he spat, "He shouldn't flirt with you like that. It's inappropriate."
"He was just being nice, Liam," I rolled my eyes at him and waited for him to meet my gaze.
When he finally did, his expression visibly eased as his eyes met mine. A soft smile tugged at the corner of his full lips and I can't stop myself from staring at them, wondering how great it would be to feel them graze against mine.
But it won't happen. Never will it ever be that I could kiss him and be with him in the way that I'd always hoped. That truth alone left me crippled for so long, just as it numbed my senses now.
"I know, I just think it's kind of creepy," he glanced at the clock, "It's about time to go. Where did you park?"
I tried to describe the area where I parked because no one in their first year really memorizes the name or number of their parking lot. There were just so many, and it would especially be pointless to tell it to someone who wasn't also parked in that area.
"I'll walk you," he offered, and knowing that it was dark and scary outside, I didn't decline.
"Okay, and I'll drive you back to your parking lot," I told him and he nodded in agreement.
Outside, it was cold and breezy, with those familiar night stars that twinkled above us years ago. We walked side by side along the little path that ran across the gigantic grassy park at the center of campus. I held my breath every time my swinging hand brushed his, hoping to feel his warm palm in mine again. I just wanted more with him, but I knew it was wishful thinking.
So I buried it. I buried it with the silence and the distant looks. I desperately wanted us to go back to being friends, before all the feelings showed up, before he embarrassed me in front of half the school by dismissing any chance at us being together.
"So can you finally answer my question from Wednesday?" I heard him ask all of a sudden. "Where have you been? I never got any calls or messages. Couldn't even find you online. I thought you died, but there was nothing on the news."
I rolled my eyes, but remained quiet for a few seconds, gathering my thoughts.
"I moved a town over. I just thought it was okay since we weren't that close anyway," I regretted saying it just as it left my tongue. I quickly looked over to see that Liam had halted, his expression filled with hurt.
"Ev, what are you even saying? Besides Mason, you're the only real friend I've ever had," he admitted and then reached for my shoulder and pulled me into his arms.
I took a deep breath, luxuriating in his scent. He smelled the same, and if I were to name anything that had changed, it would be how hard his chest and arms became as they enveloped me.
Friend. I was his friend. And though I found it incredible that I meant that much to him, I still felt a deep sense of sadness seep into my heart, reminding me that I was only ever going to be his friend.
We continued talking as we made our way through the poorly lit park.
"You seem so different now. Lose your V card yet?" he teased, nudging my elbow. He used to joke about this the same way when I still talked to him, knowing I'd be uncomfortable and punch him in the throat. But I'm not uncomfortable with it anymore. I was indifferent with it, like a truth that I got bored of.
"Yeah, I did, actually," I told him plainly.
"What? You did?" I found the surprise in his answer insulting. It's not like he's a virgin either, so why should it be weird that I had lost mine? I mean, I think I'm pretty enough, am I not?
"Yeah, why are you acting so surprised?" I raised an eyebrow at him.
He didn't answer as we kept walking, but halfway through the park he mumbled a question, "Are you still with him?"
I laughed, "No, I'm not still with Cody. If I was, I wouldn't have flirted with Mason on Wednesday." I had assumed they still told each other everything, like they used to do, but from the look on his face, this fact apparently changed.
"You did? What did you guys even talk about?" His curiosity was odd, but I suppose he's just wondering why his best friend didn't tell him about this.
"Harper was texting me to date him and he asked. So I told him and then he asked me what his chances were," I said casually.
"So," Liam cleared his throat, sounding strangely uncomfortable. Did they not talk to each other about their dating lives? I thought that was what locker room talk was about. "What did you tell him?"
We reached my car and both climbed in.
"I told him," I said as I started my car, "that it's a maybe. I could see myself giving it a try."
"Oh," was all he said as he stared forward, out my windshield.
I was beginning to get the feeling that something was off with the way he acted around me, but then again, I hadn't seen him in over a year. Maybe he just became this way within that time. I've changed a lot, too.
"Speaking of Harper..." I started, "How was your date with her?"
"It was fun. She's a very interesting person to be around," he said with a smile, although he seemed a bit uncomfortable with the topic.
I smiled back as we reached his parking lot. I recognized his truck as soon as I saw it and stopped for him to get out.
Before he closed the door, I tilted my head to let him know I was going to say something. Leaning down, he waited for me to say, "You should go out with her again. She really liked it."
He nodded, closed the door, and walked around to my side of my car. I groaned, opened my door, and got out, knowing he wanted another hug.
As I stood up, he was immediately all around me, warming me up with his embrace. I relaxed my muscles and eased into his hold, dreaming of having this forever. But just as quickly, he let go and headed off to his car.
And as I stood there, stunned that I could still feel so much for this one guy I'll never have, I silently cursed at myself for feeling anything for him again.
A/N:
So can we just talk about how weak in the knees Ev gets when she's around Liam? Geez imagine feeling that every single day as you get to high school.
I felt like the title of this chapter was too vulgar and I'm now wondering if I should change it to something a little more... tame. Though that sounds hella boring.
I really hope you enjoyed this chapter! Please please please! Vote and Comment. While I love to write and this story is rather fun to work on, I'm only human and I crave attention and validation. Love me please~~~
~ My