My eyes shot open the next morning to probably the most annoying sound I've ever come to know. My eyelids slowly started to shut again as I heard Ashton groan beside me.
"Fuckin alarm clocks." He muttered. I heard him shut the device up, and my eyes opened once again. The bed shifted again, and I felt his warm body press up against mine under the covers.
"Broooooke," Ashton said softly from behind me, drapping his arm around my waist. "Wake up, sleepy head."
"I'm up I'm up," I laughed, flipping on to my back. Ashton layed next to me on his side, running his hand from my waist to my legs. "Hi Ash."
"Hi Brooke." He smiled, leaning down to plant a soft kiss onto my cheek. "Still tired?" He asked. I nodded, and turned onto my side to face him, cuddling into his chest. A low chuckle escaped his lips, as he brushed a few strands of hair out of my face and kissed my forehead.
"Me too," he agreed. A couple more seconds past, before he sighed, and sat up. I watched the way his stomach muscles shifted under his skin as he rubbed his hands over his face. He slumped his back a little and looked over, his eyes barely staying open. "Come on Lovey."
He got up, but I groaned and stayed where I was. "I don't wanna go." I laughed. Ashton spun around to look at me, a playful grin on his face.
"Am I really gonna have to drag you out of bed, Brooke?" He asked.
"Oh you wouldn't dare." I eyed him. Ashton raised his eyebrows at me, before walking back over to the bed and leaning down.
"Alright," he giggled. "I won't drag you, I'll carry you."
"Please?" I smiled, holding my arms out. Ashton's came around me, tucking under my legs and back, as I wrapped my arms around his neck. I burried my face in his collar bones as he sat back down on the edge of the bed, holding me in his lap. He brushed his forehead against mine, pulling me closer to him.
"Today's gonna be great," he said softly. "I can feel it."
I leaned back a little to look at him, a smile forming on my face. "What?" He asked.
"I guess we don't need to text each other positive things anymore," I said. "We can just say them now."
"Oh yeah you're right," Ashton's face lit up. "See? It's great rooming with me!" He let me go and I hopped off his lap, holding my hand up to bring him to his feet as well. I searched through the scattered articles of clothing that belonged to me that layed on the floor, laughing to myself.
"What's so funny?" Ashton asked from the bathroom as he put his contacts into his eyes.
"I've worn the same four things for like, a week." I laughed. I quickly put on a pair of jeans and one of Ashton's grey long sleeve shirts.
"Well you take all my stuff anyways, so." Ashton joked.
"Haven't we been over this?" I chuckled, coming up next to him to brush my teeth. "They're comfy and smell like you."
"Smell like me?" Ashton repeated.
"Yeah," I smiled. "Like...laundry detergent and Ashton."
"Well, it's cute when you wear my clothes," Ashton said with a little shrug and a smile. "Now, I need your opinion."
"Yes?" I asked.
"Blue bandana or red? Shit, or black?" He asked, walking into the other room to hold up 3 bandanas in his hands. He looked serious on the topic, but I couldn't help but laugh. "What?" He asked.
"I didn't know you were so picky on what you wear," I laughed. "Black. And then wear that dark red flannel and those dark jeans. Oh, and your glasses." I didn't even realize how creepy I probably sounded, knowing the specific things he had, until I looked at myself in the mirror, then back over to Ashton who was chuckling at me.
"How did you think of all those details?" He laughed.
"I dunno," I said, turning away, blushing a little bit. "That's my favorite outfit on you. It's edgy yet casual with a little hipster flare."
"Well now I gotta take these damn contacts out." Ashton said, followed by a laugh.
...
We pulled up to our school around 7:00, with a decent amount of time to spare. I was more awake now, but I really didn't feel like being around all the people that probably hate me. If they don't hate me, which I bet they do, they hate Ashton, which makes me hate them even more. Yeah, there's lot's of hate floating around here.
The car came to a stop in one of the spots in the student parking lot, and I was hesitant to step out. It's amazing; I used I love school, but now I fucking despise it. "Brooke," I heard Ashton's voice beside me. I looked over to see he had already gotten out, slinging his backpack over his right shoulder. He nodded towards the school, gesturing me to follow him, and he shut the door. I sighed, but got out as well, instantly wrapping my arm around his as we walked in.
It could have just been my mind playing tricks on me...but I swear to god, it felt like there were at least 20 pairs of eyes looking at us as we walked into the courtyard. I don't really know why it looked like that, but it sure felt like it. I looked onto the ground, and watched Ashton and I's feet as we walked alone, towards the tree.
"Ash," I said quietly. "Are people staring?" I looked up at him, as his eyes narrowed behind the big lenses of his glasses as he looked around. He shook his head, furrowing his eyebrows as he looked down at me.
"No," He replied. "But if they do, I'll fucking pop their faces off."
His comment made me laugh, wrapping my arm tighter around his and shaking off that weird feeling I had. You know that feeling you sometimes get, when you think everyone's watching you? I guess that's what made my skin crawl a little, but I guess no one was staring at us. Well good. Fuck that, right?
We both remained quiet, and now I think we were both stealthily looking around, as if we were both paranoid people were actually staring at us. I looked to where Nick's group of douchey friends usually hang out, but I only saw a couple of them. They didn't look like they were very interested in us, as they just talked amongst themselves. I peered to the other side of the courtyard, and my heart sank as I saw Jessie, along with Amanda and Abby. They were far away, but I could still hear Jessie's fake ass laugh. I heard a sigh come from next to me, and I looked over to see Ashton looking at her, a frustrated look in his eyes. I was about to ask what was on his mind, but we had approached Michael and Calum who sat on the bench near the tree.
"Where the fuck did you people go?" Calum laughed.
"California." I replied as if it was no big deal, which made Ashton laugh.
"How was that?" Michael asked. He looked over to Ashton, and he raised his eyebrows at him. Ashton looked at him, and shot him a look that said 'oh my god Michael don't bring up what I think you're gonna bring up.'
"Have you ever been there?" Ashton asked excitedly. Michael and Calum both shook their heads, and Ashton groaned. "Oh my fucking god it's so perfect. When we're famous we have to go there like, all the time."
"When we're famous." Calum said sarcastically.
"Yes Calum," Ashton laughed. "When we're famous."
...
I walked out of fourth period for lunch, scanning the area for anyone of our group of friends. I pushed past the crowds of students as each class filed out to the courtyard, and I couldn't see anyone. I headed to the tree to wait for someone to show up, and I sat down on the bench. I knew Ashton's fourth period was like, way across the school, and he's usually 5 minutes late to get here. I folded my arms over my chest and let my eyes wander around, focusing on different groups of people as they walked past, talking between themselves. I stared down at my feet that tapped against the cement, and I wasn't really paying attention to much as I waited.
"Alone?" I heard a familiar, yet devilish voice before me. I looked up to see Jessie standing in front of me, looking down at me. She was by herself, and I all I could do for a couple seconds was look at her with my face wrinkled in confusion.
"What?" I asked her.
"I dunno," she said casually. "You're alone. That must suck, right?"
"I'm like, waiting for people, you idiot," I said harshly. I know I really shouldn't be so snappy, after what Ashton and I agreed on, but I was both confused and annoyed with why Jessie just had to stop and talk to me. Not just talk to me, either. Be a little bitch to me, basically. "You're alone too."
"Let this be a small event of symbolism," she said. "About your stupid future."
What is she even talking about? My future? "Huh?" I asked, leaning forward a little bit.
"You know..." her voice trailed off and she laughed to herself. Or maybe laughed at me; I wasn't really sure. "Being alone. I'm actually really surprised you and that prick-"
"HEY BABE!" the sinitster smile grew on my face as Ashton interrupted her, sitting down next to me. He instantly draped his arm over my shoulder, turning my face to his. He crashed his lips to mine, pulling me closer to him. "Oh my god Brooke I missed you so much oh fuck baby give me some more-"
"You're so fucking gross." Jessie spat. Ashton ceased the over dramatic kiss, laughing as he looked over to Jessie.
"Aw, sorry Jess!" He said sarcastically. I was amused by the look of horror on her face as he called her 'Jess'. "I didn't know you were there. Terribly sorry."
Jessie narrowed her eyes at him, and I couldn't help the laugh that came from me at Ashton's sarcasm. He ran his hand down my back, grabbing my waist and pulling me closer to him. His eyebrows were raised at Jessie as they continued to stare each other down; Ashton seemed to really enjoy this.
"What's with the happy tone, Ash?" Jessie said sarcastically.
"Hey now, you bitch," I laughed. "Only I call him that."
"Aw, that's so cute!" Jessie played along. She rolled her eyes, and I was surprised at how annoyed she actually look right now. "So. Fucking. Cute."
"You don't bother me anymore," Ashton said lightly. "So would it kill you to pick on someone else?"
Jessie stood there, her mouth open like she wanted to say something. The look in her eyes as she stared at Ashton was way different than how she looked at me; her eyes were full of what looked like a lot of sad emotions at this point. With one more sigh she rolled her eyes, and stalked off.
"Geeze," I laughed. I looked over to Ashton after Jessie had disappeared among the crowds of people, and we both started cracking up.
"Why does she even try anymore?" Ashton chuckled, his eyes squinted against the sun as he looked back at me. I shrugged, kissing his soft lips a few more times.
...
The rest of the day wasn't too bad. I had 5th period with Nick...but it really doesn't matter anymore. He doesn't even look at me, or talk to me, or interact with me in any way. Which is good, because I fucking hate his guts. English was a little awkward...but it always is. I still sit next to Jessie, and after that weird yet hilarious encounter I had with her, I could really feel the hatred in the air. As much as I can guess why she hates me...it still annoys me. Like, we're not friends anymore, why does it seem like its her mission to make both me and Ashton's lives hell?
By the time Ashton and I made it back to his apartment, I was tired. But, I had a shit ton of work to catch up on after missing friday, so no nap for me. I held the door open for Ashton as he came if after me, tossing his keys onto the counter. I put my backpack onto the coffee table infront of the couch, settling down on the floor and crossing my legs over one another. I patted the spot nex to me for Ashton, which he took, sitting down next to me.
"You know what we need to do?" I asked, a smile coming onto my face.
"Oh no," Ashton said slowly. "Don't say it-"
"Geometry!"
"DAMN IT."
"Come on, Ash!" I laughed, nudging him.
"Don't we both have like, a fuck load of stuff to catch on?" Ashton asked, raising his eyebrows at me. "And plus, the stuff we learned today makes sense!"
"Oh really?" I laughed.
"Yes! It 's all proportions like that shits easy enough, yeah?" He looked at me with a hopeful smile, and as much as I thought we should at least look at it together, I couldn't resist that face.
"Aright," I sighed. "What's your grade in that class?"
"I have a B...I think." Ashton's eyebrows furrowed as he looked around the room. "But, yeah."
"Oh fuck yes," I laughed, giving him a highfive. "Proud of you." I smiled at Ashton, who smiled back, pecking my nose a couple times. I reached into my own bag, pulling out chemistry homework. Oh fun.
"We should have stayed in California." Ashton laughed.
...
About an hour later, believe it or not, I wasn't near done with half my homework. Ashton and I had both been sitting here, getting distracted together and complaining together about how much we don't give a fuck. But, I needed to get all this shit done if I was gonna get credit for it. Ashton and I were in the middle of doing english homework together, when his phone rang.
"Hello?" Ashton said, picking it up. From the muffled voice I heard on the other line, I could tell it was his grandmother. "Hi Gram. Uhhh..yeah, I can do that. Where is it?" I watched as he got up, walking over to the kitchen and browsing along the counters. "Oh yeah, I see it. Okey doke, love you too."
Why can't he say that to me. I pleaded to myself, my heart starting to pound as he said the words 'love you too.' Or, why can't I say that to him?
"What'd she need?" I asked out of curiousity.
"She wants me to drop off these payments," Ashton replied, grabbing to envelopes off the counter. He looked over to me, and raised his eyebrows a little. "Wanna come?"
I looked from Ashton's beautiful eyes that looked at me, to the stacks of papers I still had to do. As great as it sounds to get out and get some fresh air, I'm way behind. And plus, I'm still very, very tired. Ashton was pretty much done with all his homework, because he's a fuckin genious and whatnot, but I still had a lot more to do. "No it's okay," I assured. And as much as I loved to be by his side, I would probably just slow him down. "I've got a lot of shit to do."
"Are you sure?" Ashton asked.
"Yeah!" I assured with a smile. "I'll be here."
"Okay," Ashton replied softly. "I'll be right back. Just...lock the door after I leave. Just in case."
"Alright Ashton," I laughed, standing up to quickly give him a kiss. By the time I was locking the door after he had left, I was about ready to fall asleep right then and there.
*Ashton's POV*
After I had deposted my last two pay checks into the bank, I had only been away from Lovey for like, 10 minutes. I climbed into my car, settling back against the seat. My eyes wandered out the window, as I stared off into nothing in particular.
For the past 2 days or so, my mind has been full of a lot of things. I thought about how fucking hard it is to not let people get to me, and talking to Jessie again today literally sucked. I wanted to jump to my feet and yell at her for giving Brooke so much crap out of nowhere, but what Brooke and I had agreed on was the only thing that made me face her bitchiness with a smile.
I also thought about Brooke, which I do a little too much. Even though I told her it was more than fine if she stayed with me for as long as she liked, she didn't look so convinced by my words. I love it when she's with me, but I can just tell that this whole situation of her parents not even speaking of her really bothers her. I get it; she still needs them. I understand... as lame as it might sound, I still need my grandmother. Brooke is just like me; she's young, and she still needs her family. I'm not really sure if her family feels the same way, but if they don't...that's a little fucked up, if you ask me.
But I can tell Brooke is scared to say anything. I don't really know why she would ever feel guilty about what happened, because I'm the one who literally got physical. I didn't mean to... it just kind of came out of me. I also didn't mean to let my mind wander off into its own little world as I spoke to Brooke's father, because that whole time I was aiming towards the wrong people.
I sat there in silence for a little bit longer, before sighing to myself. Brooke's gonna yell at me for this, but I don't care. If she's too scared to say anything, I guess I have to be the one to do it for her. I'm in love with her, and I just want her to feel content with herself and all the guilt I can see in her eyes.
About 20 minutes later, I was parked again, but not infront of the bank anymore. I was parked infront of Brooke's house, staring up at the large building. I forced myself to get out of my car, and I continued to stare at it. Even from outside, it looked like such an empty house. I always had an uneasy feeling about this place, and I guess now I can conclude why.
I stuffed my hands into my pockets as I slowly walked up the steps of Brooke's front porch, mentally punching myself in the face for even coming here.
"Brooke might just hate you for this." That stupid voice came back.
"Shut the fuck up." I muttered to myself, pushing the thoughts away. Brooke might be mad at me for doing this without her, but I know she would be too scared to do it herself. I walked up to the big front door, and nervously pushed my glasses up the frame of my nose. I stood there for a little, praying that her mother would answer the door, not her father. I slowly knocked, and stepped back. I haven't seen any of these people since they called me a freak. I rocked back and fourth on my heels, my hands nervously fidgetting with one another. Finally, after maybe 30 seconds of an agonizing silence, the door opened.
Brooke's mother stood there, her eyes wide as she stared at me. I found no strength in myself to say anything, so I just awkwardly stared back at her. She looked tired, and pretty upset. She didn't wear long clothing, and the bruises along her skin looked more faint than last time.
"Ashton?" She asked quietly.
"Hi." I said awkwardly.
"Hey," she replied, her voice soft.
"I uh..." my voice trailed off and I looked down to my feet. "Can I talk to you?" I asked, looking back up at her. A glimmer of what looked like hope shone through her eyes, and she nodded.
"Yeah of course," she said quickly. "Come in." She opened the door a little bit more, and I nodded my thanks as I stepped inside, closing the door behind me and leaning my back up against it.
The room fell silent again, and by now I was really starting to really regret coming here. But, I need to know what the fuck is up, so I didn't dare try to get myself out of this.
"So," She laughed. "Um-"
"How are you?" I asked. Though I was a little hurt at all the things she had said to me the last time I saw her, I still wanted to know if she was alright.
"Better." Brooke's mum replied. I nodded in response, thinking of something to say. But, before I could think of anything, she kept talking.
"Look," She sighed. "I just... I'm glad you're here, because I never got a chance to thank you."
"Thank me?" I repeated, my eyebrows coming together in confusion. Why would she need to thank me? Her gaze fell from mine, as she stared down at her feet. The look of hope she had earlier had faded, and it was replaced with what looked like deep thought, and sadness.
"Ashton, you-" she began to say, but she stopped. She sighed once again, and glanced up at me again. "You said everything I've been to scared to say for three years."
That's when my heart stopped, and my eyes widened even more than they already were. "Three years?" I asked.
Brooke's mother nodded, and it looked like she wanted to cry. "What you did might seem bad to you... but to me, I couldn't be more relieved. I've wanted to scream out for a long time, but I was too scared. You said it all for me, as well as Brooke."
I nodded slowly, my mind whirling with about 20 different thoughts that didn't make sense together. I stared at her, as her shameful eyes once again glanced anywhere but me. I stepped a little closer, feeling less awkward than before.
"Where is he?" I asked.
"Washington," Brooke's mother shrugged. "He's with his parents for a while. He left the other day, and I guess we just need some space for a little while."
I nodded, contiplating whether I should ask what else is gonna happen. I didn't want to be nosy... but I'm just a curious person. But, more importantly to me, I had to ask about Brooke. I opened my mouth to speak, but I stopped as I noticed the glossiness on her mother's eyes.
"How's Brooke?" she asked quietly.
"She's good," I replied. "She's alright."
"She's with you... right?" She looked so incredibly worried.
"Yes of course." I replied, surprised at how the sudden look of worry changed to relief.
"Okay good," she said. "Even though we don't really know each other that well, I trust you a lot, Ashton."
"Well you know I like to play the drums and read," I smiled. It made her smile too. "That pretty much sums me up."
We both laughed, and the sadness was starting to fade from her eyes. "I just... I don't know," she sighed. "I've been too ashamed to even speak of her. And I feel like an idiot."
"That's understandable," I pointed out. "Brooke feels bad about the whole thing too. She doesn't really say it, but I can tell she is. And I think you should talk to her, you know?"
"Yeah I know," she replied. "I just feel bad. I didn't mean anything I said... especially anything that was pointed to you."
I nodded, and I think we were both thinking about the whole 'freak' and 'deadbeat' stuff. "I didn't mean to lash out," I said ashamedly, thinking back to when I punched Brooke's dad in the face. "I wasn't even paying attention to the fact that it wasn't... well, my dad. And I'm sorry."
"Don't worry about it," Brooke's mother replied with a smile. "Thank you for being there for Brooke. I really don't know your guys' relationship, but I can tell you're there for her a lot."
"Well she is for me," I said. "So I'm just repaying the favor."
Brooke's mother smiled and nodded, and her smile seemed more sincere than before. "Thank you for coming over here. I really appreciate it."
"It's no problem," I smiled. "I'll tell Brooke I stopped by."
"Yes, thank you," She said, reaching behind me to open the door. "It was nice to see you again, Ashton."
"Nice to see you too." I replied, taking a couple small steps back to step out of Brooke's house.
"I'll see you soon." She said soflty. My awkwardness was starting to creep on me again, so I just smiled, and gave her a small wave as she soflty shut the door. I stood there again, staring at the closed door with my hands stuffed back into my pockets. A couple more seconds passed as I stood there, before I sighed, and turned to go back to my car. I'm happy I did that for Brooke, because I can tell her and her mum are really close.
"Why can't it be that easy for me." I said to myself.