I'm The Geek Who Slapped A Fo...

By Pearlie

11.4M 290K 172K

*ALL RIGHTS RESERVED* Clarisse Hornitt is a nerd. Or a geek. But, not your typical nerd/geek, as she won't p... More

1- Time Bomb
2 - Karma's a B*tch
3 - Life's not a Garden...
4 - I Don't Throw
5 - Enter, Godzilla
6 - Keep It Too Yourself Please
8 - 'Romeo, oh Romeo, where for art...'
9 - Wants And Needs
10 - Computer Wars
11- Hindering Backpack
12 - I Hate Your Strength!
13 - Ohh Damn.
14 - Papers
15 - Favors
16 - Football Quizzz?
17 - Tomato Face
18 - Scream-Chiming
19 - Twiggy Lil' Shortstuff Who'd Get Banged By A Jell-O Shot
20 - Drunkenness
21 - B-Bang?!
22 - Cup of Sugar My A$$
23 - Jump?!
24 - Problem Solved
25 - Beat Feet
26 - Singing
27 - Rainbow Butterfly and the Executioner
28 - Jaws
Side Note
29 - Mystery Number
30 - Beagle!
31 - Leaves/Cats
32 - A$$
33 - Slinkie...?
34 - Piglet and Squeak
35 - Plans
36 - Men and Maidens
37 - "Go Suck a D*ck, Cupid,"
38 - Ice Cream
39 - Canoodling and 'Halp' and Sharpies
40 - Procession?!
41 - Last Link To My Sanity
42 - Awkward
43 - T-Rex
44 - The Clam is Dead
45 - Tootie Frooties
46 - Dance Your Pants Off
47 - Little Mess of Emotions
48 - Lap Dogs are Scared of Thunder
49- Uhhhhhh-
50 - Tutor Time
51 - DRIVE DRIVE DRIVE
52 - Roll on Outa This Life
53 - Thrill
54 - Sometimes Your Bark has to be Softer than Your Bite
55 - Tequila is for Winners
56 - Panic is a Choking Hazard
57 - Done with the Day
Photos
59 - 'Hide-From-Anything-Alarming-Pit'
60 - Closure
61 - Barker Park
62 - Dr. Harkin
63 - Up, Up and Away!
64 - Dancing Dots
65 - Eyes Have a Mind of Their Own
66 - Roast Brain
67 - Not A Lucky Duck
68 - Bubble
69 - Demon Thing
70- Skyscraper
71 - Vivisection
72 - Cold Turkey
73 - Cursed Ice Cream

7 - Shootin' with Both Barrels

278K 7.1K 3.2K
By Pearlie

Chapter 7

I’m currently gazing up at a gorgeous guy. He’s super hot. Dark hair, dark eyes, kind of dark expression but hell, it’s hot. His bulging biceps are – which are like, three inches from my face – crossed over his muscled chest. He’s the kind of guy that’s sexy as hell, just because he’s kind of dark and mysterious looking.

Oh, did I mention his name is Abel Harkin?
            As in, probably brother to Flora Harkin, the manic testosterone-filled She-Beast who I’m very sure must be part Big Foot, and also totally capable of butchering me, and I’m very sure is seeking me out to do so?

Yeah, I think my brain just died.

Abel is frowning down at me, probably wondering why I look like I just saw a bomb explode or something. Hell, that’s a perfect example, because I am shell-shocked. How in the fuck is this personification of the phrase ‘tall dark and handsome’ (make that tall dark and SMEXY) related to fucking ogre/Godzilla PugFace Flora?!

“You get the picture now?” Abel growls at me. I don’t get it. I really don’t. This guy could probably be on the cover of a fucking magazine wearing a mankini and pull it off (and mankinis are probably the worst article of clothing every created after Lady Gaga’s Kermit frog dress). PugFace has more chance of being casted in a horror film. With blood. And screaming. Her pee-inducing catch phrase being ‘gonna smear your baby bitch blood on the floor’.

“No,” Is the only thing I can mutter, because it’s totally true.

Abel’s eyebrows scrunch together and he glowers at me now. “You mean you still don’t recognize me?”

As some hot, brooding Greek God who was born from a fucking thunderstorm and occasionally comes to earth to scare the crap out of unsuspecting girls with his sexy broodingness? Maybe. As blood relative to a crazy blood-thirsty female King Kong? Fucking how?!

I shook my head, still too stunned to really react normally. “Nuh-uh. Never seen you before in my life.” Believe me, I’d have remembered seeing Orlando Bloom’s gorgeous more muscley little brother walking around.

He scratches his dark, curly locks, skewering me with his eyes. “Really? You’re sure? Abel Harkin doesn’t ring any bells? You’ve never heard anything…?”

Through my numbness, I begin to feel irritated. What is with people and not believing me? “No, I haven’t.” I grumble, the shock wearing off. It seems to happen that all hot guys are stupid, annoying, and prone to questioning the hell out of me.

“Huh.” He grunts, tipping his head back to glare at me. Aggravation tingles up my spine and I scowl right back.

“Am I supposed to know you?” I ask spitefully, getting more annoyed by the second. I have had enough today!! Seriously!!

The sexy Beef Machine in front of me uncrosses his arms and puts his hands on his hips again, a posture translating to pride, ego and an attempt at looking domineering. In my book. And this posture bugs the crap out of me.

 “Abel Harkin,” he begins, and it takes all my will power not to say ‘I got that the first time, genius,’ “State wrestling champ for three years straight, soon to be four this year.”

I blink. I blink again. Attempt to sputter a response. Holy shit!! The beefed up kid is a fucking wrestler!! A fucking state champion!! Three years!! OHMYGOD!!! I swear to god my brain would have exploded again had it not before. Abel is looking down at me smugly, seeing my reaction. I attempt to pull it together.

“O-oh…” Is all I can manage, though it’s better than ‘OHMYFUCKINGGOD’ which was currently going through my head. I terrible prickle of alarm is zinging all over my body. PugFace’s brother is a freaking three times state champion wrestler. And he’s knows who I am, and he’s found me, and currently cornered me.

Shit shit shit shit.

“You cornered me for Flora didn’t you!” I burst out suddenly, fury and panic seizing my body. Why else would he seek me out? So he can capture me all alone and call Flora up here, so she can come and rip me limb from limb and smear my blood all over the floor.

“What?” Abel sounds genuinely surprised, but I don’t buy it. He’s acting!!

“You’re kidnapping me so Flora can come and kill me!!” I raged, pointing my finger up at his hot yet startled face.

“What the hell? No! God, no!! She– ”

Denial! That was all I needed to hear. He’s keeping me here so she can come and beat the shit out of me!!

I try to run around him, be he grabs my arm. I clock his hand with my English Lit book (which is like a freaking anvil) and he curses and he lets go. I’m headed for the stairs, hoping to god Flora isn’t in an upstairs classroom, when something catches my waist, wrenching me backwards and to the side, towards the wall. I duck my head, ready for impact.

My body jerks to a stop, and I hear another curse. I open my eyes to meet Abel’s pissed off black-brown ones. He’s still swearing. “ –the fuck is your fucking problem!? Jeezus Christ, you are completely fucking crazy!”

One of his arms is still wrapped around my waist, kind of holding me to his side. I struggle against him. “Lemme go assface! Right now!” Jeezus, he is so strong!! I batter him with my Lit book til he lets go, and I realize now that my face is bright crimson. Oh, for God’s sake, all he did is grab me and hold me on his hip and I go red as a fucking tomato. Good cripes.

“Alright alright, jeez, sorry.” He apologizes, but still sounds pissed. I also notice that he’s making sure to stand between me and the stairs. Bastard.

“I don’t care, let me fucking leave!!” I almost shout, because now I remember that I’m probably gonna be late to Lit now too, because of this dumbass. First stupid Sebastian makes me late for Psychology, now this jerk? Ugh! “I’m gonna be late for fucking English!”

His hands are back on his hips and it irritates me. “With Mr.Truman?”

“Yeah.”

“He’s gone today.”

“Bullshit!”

Abel grunts in aggravation. “You swear a lot,”

I glare at him harshly. “Only at stupid and annoying people.”

Abel glowers at me and then sighs heavily through his nose, closing his eyes and then lifting his head to the ceiling. I can’t help but notice how sexy this is. Then I curse myself. This idiot is trying to get me killed, he’s not sexy!! His gorgeous body says otherwise.

“Okay,” He says, looking back down at me. “I’m not here to kidnap you or whatever you thought I was gonna do. I just wanna talk.”

I cross my arms over my chest. “Yeah right.”

He mimics me and says in a matter of fact tone. “Yeah. Right.”

We glare at each other for awhile. I raise an eyebrow. “Well?”

Abel gives me this look that means he wants to strangle me, but I seem to get that look a lot nowadays, so I don’t take it too personally. “I didn’t plan this or anything,” He begins, seeming to feel the need to explain himself. “I was just walking up the stairs with some friends and they said that you’re the girl who got in that fight with Flora.” And then he’s glaring violently at me, all the ferocity of familial protection screaming from his face. The hairs on the back of my neck rose.

I swallow, trying to hide how anxious I am. “Ah, I see. Just, ah, lookin’ out for your sister…”

Some of the hostility bleeds out of his face. “She’s not my sister.”

Oh.

I WAS RIGHT!!!

Ohh, I knew it! Knew it knew it knew it!! I knew that this degree of sexiness couldn’t possibly be related to that degree of ugliness!! HA!! But then it hits me. Why in the fuck is he so protective of her then?
            “Ohhh…well I heard the same last name and yeah…but if you aren’t her brother then why are you all protective?”

The immediate rage that shoots right back into his face is faster than lightening, just as devastatingly terrifying. Oh fuck, where’s a toilet when you need one…

“Flora is my cousin.” Abel’s voice is deep and intoned with a helluva alotta loathing towards me. Shit. Family ties can be so annoying.

“Ohh…” Without anything else I can think of to say, I say, “Well, that explains…”

“Explains what?” Abel’s voice is hard and fast a whip. All the hairs on my arms stand up too.

Shit shit shit shit shit. Not the thing to say, not the thing to say!! His impressive arms are flexed due to anger, and it’s sexy but scary as fuck, because I’m pretty sure if he got my neck in the crook of his elbow and flexed his arm my head would pop right off.

I cough. “The uh, um…difference…” Abel’s face his hardening by the second, and I’m scrambling for a way out of this one but I can see no escape. “…between your…um…” I cough again, and now Abel looks pissed as hell. I decide to just get it over with. “…how different you two look.”

He looks downright pissed of right now, and I feel incredibly small, my back against the wall. His voice is hard and irritated when he speaks.

 “Yeah, I know, Flora isn’t exactly the prettiest flower in the field,” Exactly, she’s more like the scariest mask in the Halloween store. “but she’s got a great personality,” by personality do you mean killing instinct? “And we grew up together,” You poor kid! “She’s funny, and smart and athletic,” Um, how ‘bout gruesome, vicious and fucking scary? “and yeah, she does have a temper,” On a two centimeter fuse. “and she kind of has a bit of a rugged side.” Side? More like the whole package!

“But it really pisses me off when people like you do this to her! She can’t help that she’s really guy-ish, and her temper’s pretty bad. People just need to leave her the fuck alone because she was getting better! I’ve been trying to keep her out of trouble, because she’s supposed to so she can play Rugby this year. And you people like you,” He jabbed a finger down at me, “keep provoking her and making her loose her cool. So fuck off, and leave Flora alone.”

This last part of his speech stunned me. The beginning  I could handle (even add in my own little sarcastic comments for the fun of it). But the second half completely blew me out of the water. In a bad way.

Because I didn’t start the fucking fight! She did!! She came out of nowhere and started bugging me, then said she wanted to fight me!! I was just minding my own fucking business! Everything I did was in self-defense!!

Completely pissed off, I flew off the handle.

“That is all bullshit!” I shouted, right up into Abel’s face, and he jerked back in surprise. “I didn’t do anything! She’s the one who started the fight!! Everything that I did was in self-defense because she was trying to kill me! I didn’t do anything!”

Abel’s face was twisted into startled anger. He overcame his shock and then was firing back at me with both barrels. “Now that’s a load of bullshit!! Flora’s been trying to keep her record clean so she can play Rugby! She is not stupid enough to start a fight with you! She told me you started it!! And she showed me that fucking big ass bump on her head!!”

“That bump was self-inflicted!! She jumped at me and slammed her own head into the lockers I did nothing!!” I shouted angrily. How could he even believe that little me could have done anything to her in the first place!! I am like the mass of a sapling tree while she might as well be the whole damn forest!!

Abel didn’t seem budged from his beliefs. “You are lying straight through your teeth.” He snarled harshly at me.

“And you’re thinking with your ass instead of your head!” I shot back.

His nostrils flared and he opened his mouth, then shut it, put both of his hands behind his head and closed his eyes and tilted his head up at the ceiling again. This must be his way to counteract his temper. He blows out a huge breath and then looks back down at me.

He leans closer to me and I back up, glowering. He glares but continues. “Listen, just…” He seems to be struggling to keep from getting too angry. “Just leave her alone, got it?”

Oh fuck this idiot. “I didn’t start anything!!”

He claps his hands over his face and backs away from me. “Auugh!” He grunts in frustration. His hands fly out, almost hitting me in the face. “God!! What is your problem?!”

“Obviously you and your insane cousin!!” I shout at him, and then immediately rush away from him, stomping quickly up the stairs. I hear the sounds of pursuit and kick it into gear. At the top of the stairs I glance back down, and stop, realizing he wasn’t following me. He’s standing at the very bottom of the steps, one hand on the handrail and one foot on a step, like he was going to chase me. His face is pure, burning resentment and he points up at me menacingly. In a flat, vicious voice, he growls:

“You watch yourself.”

Then with a hateful parting glance he turns and stalks away.

***

Abel had been right, Mr.Truman wasn’t here today. It’s the flighty, scatterbrained sub Mrs.Morrel, who didn’t even seem to notice when I stole into the classroom ten minutes late. People all started whispering when they all saw I was late again, and I gave anyone who dared meet my gaze a look so dark they never looked at me the rest of the class.

Just this hour I became aware of a collection of bruises on my elbows and knees, no doubt from when I had to throw myself to the floor to avoid PugFace when she launched herself at me.

Thinking of that made me all the more angrier. Stupid Abel Harkin! Ugh!! He just pops up outa nowhere to come and scream at me for ‘provoking’ his dear sweet cousin when she was the one who fucking jumped me!!

Jeez. I’m pissy.

Sighing, I sink onto my desk and lay my cheek onto my book. I’m so tired. It feels like I’ve been arguing and yelling all week when it’s only the second day. Good cripes. Just yesterday all of this fucking drama started because of stupid Sebastian. My anger flares up vengefully. He started all this crap!! Made Nyssa Randy get all up in my face, made PugFace think she had to fight me, and made fucking idiot Abel hate me too!!

A headache stabs at my temples. Ouch. I need an Ibuprofen…

The sound of an oddly familiar voice behind me catches my ear, and I attempt to listen. Whoever they are, they’re whispering, but the snarky, weasly sound of the tone gives me a clue. I sit up and peek over my shoulder.

It’s Dumb Slut 2, from yesterday in the bathroom with Nyssa. I narrow my eyes, trying to listen. She’s whispering snarikly to some chick behind her. I have to admit that she’s undeniably pretty. Short blonde hair, tan skin. But a slut nonetheless, which is obviously advertised by her incredibly low cut shirt. I strain my ears, but I can’t quiet catch it.

Suddenly she looks over and sees me looking at her over her shoulder, and she grimaces. She shoos the girl away and faces me in her seat. I turn around, sticking my knees in the aisle, so I can face her too.

“Well well well, look who’s trying to eavesdrop,” She sneers at me. I frown back at her, saying nothing. “Catch anything good?”

“No, not really, I have a hard time translating Stupid Slut Speak.”

Her thin little eyebrows bend down over her eyes. I notice that she has contacts, which make her eyes look a totally fake green. “Hmph, too bad, it was all about you anyways.”

I lean forward. “Yeah, that is a shame. I always learn so many new things about myself from rumors.”

She snorts and laughs, and I have to give her credit, she’s handling the insults better than I’d expect. Which is annoying. “Sure, most rumors are total lies, but they have to start from some grain of truth. And besides, where would I be without them?”

“Where you always are, in some guy’s bed.”

She laughs sickeningly, and this pisses me off. Maybe I should worry about this one instead of Nyssa. She’s ten times as irritating. “Yeah, I’ve had a lot of guys, but all of the ones I’ve been with have been hot as hell.”

Ugh. Nothing like an annoying slut who brags about the guy’s she’s fucked like they’re trophies. Just makes you want to poke her eyes out with a pencil. “So screwing a fuck of a lot of hot guys makes it all right be like a community bicycle?”

This confuses her, as planned. Most sluts have a very limited use of sarcasm, which I use at my advantage. “Huh?” She says dumbly.

“Community bicycle? Y’know, ‘cause everyone’s takin’ a ride…”

Oh ho ho ho, now she’s getting a little pissed. She sucks in a breath, and her cheeks puff up a little. I can’t help but chuckle as she struggles for a rebuttal. I can almost see the gears grinding pathetically in her little brain.

“Well at least I’m not crazy!” She eventually burst. Oh poo, that’s too easy.

“Better crazy than stupid.”

Again Dumb Slut 2 is racking her pitiful little brain for some kind of suitable comeback, and I sit back and watch. I find myself comparing her to Nyssa and Sebastian, even Abel. Nyssa seemed to act dumb, but may not be. This one can handle the insults, but her comebacks are weak under pressure. Sebastian is maddeningly consistent with his retorts. Always something quick coming off his tongue, and its usually associated with himself. Puh. Suppose he must think with his ego. I guess Abel and I didn’t exactly get into any comeback fight, just a regular old argument. Which wasn’t refreshing.

“God, no wonder Sebastian despises you!” She snips at me, seeming to decide and use Sebastian as some kind of threat. Maybe. I dunno. Deciphering the reasoning of idiotic people is kind of difficult.

“Well, its not surprising. I probably hate him more than he hates me.”

Dumb Slut gasps at me. “How can you hate Sebastian?” She honestly seems shocked. Oh wow. I take it back. I don’t need to worry about this one. She’s worthless.

“The same way that you hate food.” I said, trying to find some kind of comparison she could make sense off.

“Sebastian doesn’t make you fat.” Was her response and I facepalmed. Oh my god. What’s her IQ, zero point six?

“Noo…I mean…nevermind. This is a pointless discussion. You’re to stupid.”

She gasped at me, finally seeming to become bugged by my insults. Finally. Must not have gotten through her thick skull the first time. Huffing angrily, she stood and tottered on her heels. When she regained her balance, she picked up her purse. Glowering down at me, she puffed,

“I am totally telling Sebastian everything you’ve said!”

Then she teetered away. Oh joy.

______________________

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