❝Our love consumes me and I can't think of anything more binding for us to do.❞
"WHY ARE YOU dragging me outside?" Ria wonders as Chris rushes to her side of the car. "It's freezing."
"Stop complaining and let's go." He grins and slides his hand into hers. Beneath a tight grip, he helps tug her out of the car and into the cold.
They're at a park, though it's desolate and frozen over with blankets of snow masking the land. She smiles and takes in the winter wonderland despite her nose, fingers, and toes freezing over.
"Why are we here?" Her boots land on a slick part of the sidewalk and she squeals as her footing flies forward. Trying to save herself, she tugs at the front of Chris' coat and tries to pull herself up.
"Ria-" That's all he has time to say as his eyes widen and he begins to fall backward. He grabs her arms desperately and tugs her into him, sending them both falling into the snow. They collide with the soft cushion of fluffed out rain and the liquid begins to melt and seep into their clothes. "Shit," he groans and winces in pain.
"I'm so sorry!" She cries and uses him as a cushion to push herself up. "I didn't see the ice." She extends a hand and bites back a smile as Chris writhes and cringes in the snow, trying his hardest to stand up. "You look stupid," she giggles.
"Glad you think it's funny," he grumbles and grabs her hand. He hoists himself up and dusts off the snow. "Next time, you're falling first and I'm pulling myself up."
"That's rude." She simpers and shifts locks of escaping hair behind her ears. "I thought you were a gentleman."
Noticing the sudden softness in her voice, he returns her playful smile and pinches her nose between his cold fingers. "Who am I kidding? I could never put you in harm's way."
"Ouch!" Ria swipes his hand away and covers her sore nose. "Why'd you do that?"
"'Cause you laughed at me." He winks and shakes out his jacket. "Now let's try not to kill each other before I can give you this surprise."
Ria pokes her lips out in a pout and pretends to hold her nose in the air. "Fine," she mocks. "After that, I'm allowed to kill you."
Talons of guilt pierce the back of her skull while she plays as if everything is normal. Plays as if she isn't deciding to break up with him by the end of the night.
"I see," he chuckles. "Just using me for my goods. Alright" — he tugs his wool hat over his ears and shakes his shoulders out — "let's go before we freeze to death out here."
"Okay." Ria smiles, pretending she's happy. Pretending that just yesterday she wasn't in the mansion of Vincent Menshikov making further arrangements regarding Ashton. Like she doesn't have a prescription of fertility enhancers hiding in her dresser drawer next to the promise ring Ashton gave her months ago.
At this very moment, she's been fighting two sides of herself. A side that desperately wants to leave Chris and endure the pain of Ashton in a healthy way, and a side that is terrified of hurting Chris but wants to hold on to the hope of having Ashton back.
Snow crunches beneath her boots as she leaves lonely footsteps behind her. Well, lonely wouldn't be the right word. Chris' are right next to hers, but even with his physical presence, she still finds herself wandering around the hollow abyss that is her emotions alone.
She hardly notices that he's slipped her hand into his, their cold fingers desperately providing warmth to each other.
Her head is ducked low, watching the white flakes glisten before she shoves her black boots into them, creating more footsteps. If she thinks hard enough, she could easily replace Chris with Ashton.
Ashton's hand is in hers. Ashton's footsteps are next to hers. Ashton's soft breaths are breaking the silence. She smiles and inhales the fragrance of her scarf — Ashton's scarf — and shivers as his presence manifest with them.
"Where the hell is this idiot taking you?"
Ria shrugs, biting back a grin as she imagines Ashton's annoyed deep voice in her cold ears. He said it was a surprise.
"We both know, I am the surpriser of this relationship. How many things have I done to drop your pretty little lips? This tool can't even dream of comparing to my romantic gestures."
She grins at her own imagination. Her teeth show and it's almost a foreign feeling, smiling. At least he's trying. That's more than what I can say about you.
"What if I didn't leave you? What if the letter was a lie?"
I saw your handwriting. I recognize my sketchbook paper. Don't you think I've gone over this theory a million times?
"Try harder, princess."
Ugh. Ria shakes Ashton from her thoughts. Jared was right. The way she thinks of Ashton all the time...it's sick. Unhealthy. She's just torturing herself pretending that he never left.
If her therapist knew, she'd probably agree. In fact, she'd wonder why Ria still hasn't left Chris. Am I that afraid?
"We're here, baby." Chris' excited voice shatters her frivolous thoughts.
Footsteps freeze and she blinks rapidly. Bringing her head up, she finds Chris standing before her. They've stopped in the middle of the frozen wonderland. Thin flurries rain between them and nothing but snow and trees laced in ice surround them.
Warmth resides in Chris' cocoa eyes. Eyes that try to pierce into her heart. Warmth that makes it hard for her to break up with him.
"Where are we?" Ria speaks in a swallowed voice. Her gaze flicks to the frozen water fountain sitting behind them and memories come flooding in.
"I couldn't think of what would be more romantic." He shrugs and grabs her other hand as a boyish grin stretches across his lips. His teeth chatter and he shivers a few good times but carries on. "Should I do this on our one-month re-anniversary at the place we had our first date or wait a couple weeks for Valentine's Day and do this over a candlelit dinner?"
Do what?
Ria chuckles and glances back over to the water fountain. Twenty-year-old versions of them become visible, running around the fountain like lovesick teenagers. They tease each other, tossing handfuls of water into the other's face.
At one point, Chris had fallen in the fountain and was devastated to find Ria snorting and giggling and grabbing her camera to capture his embarrassment. Of course, he retaliated and pulled her in and nearly destroyed her cheap camera.
Being the cheesy romantic Ria still is, it reminded her of her favorite eighties romances. They were just like the rebellious teens from the films, falling recklessly in love. There was even a park guard who threatened to kick them out.
Though the memory sticks with Ria the most because of the way Chris had looked at her that day.
While they were sopping wet fools sitting in a water fountain, laughing and cursing each other, Chris' eyes never left hers. His smile never waned. At one point, he was running his fingers through her hair and staring at her so long she grew uneasy.
That is until he muttered three words to her for the first time.
"I love you, Ria." Chris holds her cold face in his hands, pulling her from the memory and shocking her back into reality. Wet flakes melt against her skin.
She smiles while shoving the nostalgia down into the darkest depths of her heart. "Thank you."
Hurt passes over his eyes, but he shakes it off and keeps going. "I just want to thank you for giving me another chance. I know things have been uneasy here lately, but that's all a part of being a couple."
"I actually wanted to talk about us..." She glances down. "Maybe we're not the best fit together, b-but this doesn't mean that I don't care about you."
This makes him smile and he tilts his head to the side, brown locks of hair brushing against his thick brows. "Exactly. We're obviously meant for each other. I thought we would never be together again, but now it's like we never broke up."
Her heart plummets. That's not what I meant. Everything is so different now. We shouldn't be together.
"Ria, I decided a long time ago, I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. We've already talked about this, but I ruined it by being the biggest idiot in the world. I want to bring this back on the table."
Bring what?
The space between them vanishes. Chris slides his hands from her cheeks to under her chin. The dimness in his gaze is serious and locked on hers, refusing her release.
"I want you to be mine forever," he whispers. "Our love consumes me and I can't think of anything more binding for us to do."
Ria stiffens and her face contorts into a scowl as she tries to put his words together. "Chris-"
"Shh." He leans down and places his cold lips on hers. That cold spreads throughout her entire being and she holds her eyes open as his shut.
We can't do this.
When Chris leans back, he's smiling with a twinkle in his eyes. "Every time we touch, it's magical. I want this magic to last. I want to bring that promise back on the table."
"Chris, what promise? What?" Ria shakes her head and moves his hands aside. "What are you talking about?"
Chris broadens his chest in his thick coat and steps back. Ria watches in horror as he bends down on one knee and sticks a hand in his pocket. Dark eyes become glassy and his pale cheeks turn the brightest shade of red she's ever seen.
"Ria, I love you more than anything in this world."
Don't.
"I hope you will give me this honor once again."
No.
With a soft tug, he pulls his hand out of his jacket and reveals a small black box. "Ria Marie DeVoure, I want to hear you say these words again. Give me one final chance to make us the happiest couple on the planet. I want you to be my wife."
Reality warps and she hesitates. Hysteria consumes her as he opens the box and reveals a silver engagement ring with a small diamond resting in the center.
Words are incapable of formation. Lost.
He's proposing...
He's proposing?
He's proposing!
"Oh my god," she breathes and holds her fingers to her mouth. "What?"
"What?" Chris pants and struggles to remain neutral but his brows waver. "Please don't tell me no."
"W-we can't get married," Ria speaks so fast, she's not sure he'll be able to understand her. "I was going to break up with you."
The confession sends his head jerking back in horror. "What? You can't break up with me. What about everything we've been through? I've been here for you every step of the way during this whole mess."
"I-I just think it'd be best for me to handle my breakup with Ashton without trying to use you. I should be alone and create my own happiness."
"That sounds so stupid. Who told you that?" He scoffs, making her flinch under his anger. "We've been together for years, Ria. We're always there for each other. I can bring you happiness for the rest of our lives."
Can he?
Ria sucks her bottom lip in. Her brows become heavy over her eyes like his words over her heart. "We're just not a good fit anymore. I-I haven't been happy in so long, Chris. We've still got a lot to work out. We-"
"Like what?" Chris stands up and closes the space between them. He shoves the ring towards her with a smile. "Ria, I bought this the very next night that you said you'd marry me years ago."
Her chest swells and she witnesses him in a foreign light. "You did?"
"Yes." He laughs almost hysterically. "Baby, I was ready to marry you years ago, but we've had so many ups and downs I never got the chance to. All this time, I've been hanging on to this, to my love for you. I want you to be my wife. I want you to be my everything. I want to be your husband. Ria, baby, let me."
"I-I don't know." She looks down at the ring again and holds her breath.
I can't believe he's waited all this time. He's been holding on to this for years.
Isn't that dedication? I can't simply say no.
"I know we haven't had the easiest transition, but it'll get better." Chris releases white air into the space between them. "I'm ready to work my ass off to make you the happiest woman on this Earth. We've had how many years together? We're still finding our way back to each other."
Ria clams up and stares at the snow between them. They're standing so close but it feels like they're on entirely different planets. Is this manipulation or does he really want to try? How can I tell? Should I give him a chance either way?
"But-"
"No, the only word you're allowed to say is yes," he interrupts, desperation oozing off of him. "Ria, I've been holding this in for years. I've loved you for years. Please, just finally let us be happy. Just this once."
But I don't want to.
I don't want to do this.
We were supposed to break up. I have to end-
"Being engaged doesn't mean get married today. We could wait years." More hysterical laughter blurts from his lips. Rosy cheeks rise as he smiles a little too wide. "Don't make me wait that long though."
"I mean-"
"Ria, all you have to do is give me a chance." He leans in, eyes wide and fretful. "Say you'll give me a chance. That's what this ring represents. A chance to be yours forever. For you to be mine forever. Give me a chance. That's all I'm asking of you. Give me one week to make this engagement a dream for you. One week. We owe each other this. You owe me this."
Ria shuts her eyes and tries to force logic into her brain. I can accept it for now. We can always call it off if things don't work. I don't want to ruin his moment.
"O-okay," she whispers and warm tears slide from her closed eyes and grow cold on her cheeks.
"Okay?" he demands. "What does that mean? You're gonna give me a chance?"
"Sure," she breathes and her soul falls apart. "I'll give you a chance. We can try this."
"Oh my God, baby!" Chris swallows her up in a hug and lifts her off the ground. "You have no idea how long I've waited to hear you say this," he cries.
Ria can't respond. She can't be happy. Suddenly her entire being is numb and she wants to sink into the ground and let the Earth swallow her whole.
It's like the reality of what Vincent told her yesterday is finally breaking into a sensible part of her brain. No part of her soul is drawn to Chris'. It's like they're not even on the same plain or living in the same universe, reality for that matter. Why has it taken so long to realize this?
What have I been thinking?
I can never love this man.
He'll never make me happy.
"We're finally engaged!" Chris exclaims and finally sets her down. "You and me baby, we're gonna get married and live long lives together. We'll adopt and have kids of our own."
I don't want this.
What have I done?
It's like a shell of herself has been living her life for the past month and she's finally waking up, finally seeing the errors, where it all started.
The night that she let him in was the beginning of her demise, her fall into a hell that she is finally awakening from. Only, it's too late. She's already trapped. She looks up at Chris' laughing face and imagines he's the devil.
He tricked her into thinking he didn't exist and now she just promised him her hand in marriage.
Chris yanks Ria's hand towards him and slides the cold ring onto her finger. "I'm so fucking excited," Chris says. "Wait till your friends see this." He hugs her again before pulling back and placing his lips on every inch of her face. "You're all mine, Ria. Mine forever."
Ria's stiff in his arms. Unresponsive to his touch. She can't seem to make herself move or feel anymore. She's just watching a movie behind a screen, yet he doesn't notice a single thing. Instead, the claws of her deepest fears and darkest demons impale her spirit and hold her captive, forcing her to witness every last mistake she's made.
"You're all mine," Chris grunts and places his hot lips on hers. Sweat drips from his forehead and he grabs her thighs even tighter and thrusts his hips forward again. "All mine. We're gonna be together forever."
Together forever.
"Just you and me."
All his.
"No one can tear us apart." He moans and cries desperately. "Oh fuck."
Ria watches the scene before her behind a glass screen. Her body lays there, motionless as she waits for Chris to finish. His familiar twitch and grunt give her hope that this horror film is coming close to an end.
"You always feel so good." He groans and closes his eyes. His brows rise and he scrunches his nose, continuously tormenting her like a dog.
I want to get away from here. I want to run away. I don't want to be here anymore.
Why didn't I see this before?
Why didn't I stop this?
She wants to cry but that would require effort and somehow she's lost the will to live in the passing hours.
I'm stuck.
I deserve this.
Once again, she's a shell serving no purpose other than making Chris happy.
I never should have used him.
Never should have...
Never should...
Never...
Chris' sweaty body collapses on top of her. He kisses her shoulder and laughs and pants and whispers how she belongs to him in her ear.
This is a nightmare.
I want to wake up.
It doesn't take long for Chris to fall asleep despite it being the afternoon. He's never been able to stay up after sex, always leaving her to lie awake with her ruthless thoughts. She holds her hand up in the air and observes her engagement ring.
Every fiber in her bones is itching to yank it off and replace it with Ashton's promise ring.
What do I do?
I have to give up on Ashton.
I don't want to be with Chris.
Is he really manipulating me?
Hot tears slip from her eyes and she scowls. "I hate myself. Why am I so weak? What happened to me?" Ria turns her back to Chris and continues to cry to herself. What has changed about her in the past months that have made her this stupid?
She runs her fingers down her exposed abdomen and traces the ugly scar Vincent left on her body.
Isn't therapy supposed to cure her?
Fix her flaws?
Cure her depression?
Everyone says 'Go to therapy, Ria', and I still end up being this pathetic woman. Everything still hurts. I'm still making mistakes. I'm still with Chris.
Feel the pain. Feel the pain. Feel the pain.
Feeling the pain is becoming unbearable.
Slipping out of bed, Ria finds her nearest oversized t-shirt and slides it over her shivering body. Without looking back at Chris, relying on his soft snores as assurance, she sneaks into her living room with her phone in hand.
Despite her shaky hands, she pulls up the camera and holds it over her hand with the engagement ring. She snaps a picture and sends it to Jared.
I think I made a huge mistake.
As she waits for the message, she sends one to her ma and pa as well, knowing they'll be hysterically disappointed that she's even with Chris again. Hell, her parents only know that Ria isn't dating Ashton anymore.
They don't know about all the crazy things that have happened in her life for the past year. Brandon attacking her, finding out her boyfriend is a drug addict, getting stabbed and making deals with the man and lover of the man who stabbed her. Finding out the love of her life is an ex-criminal whose murdered people. Being pregnant.
If she told her parents all that, she's sure they'd lock her up and kick her across the ocean and safely into Italy. Her father would complain about how this stupid country has ruined her.
She laughs and wipes more tears. I'm so sorry everyone.
Moments later, Jared is calling. She wastes no time to pick up and begins sobbing even more.
"Ria? What in the world is going on? Please don't tell me you just got engaged to that bastard. Didn't I say not to do anything stupid?" His voice is frantic with his usual lecturing tone writhing beneath it.
"I-I know, Jared. I-I was going to break up with him. I r-really was. B-but then he started saying all of these things and...I don't know. I just ended up saying yes." She crumples to the ground and bows her head over her knees. "I'm just so lost right now. I-I'm sorry I'm so weak. I know I'm supposed to be getting better. I want the therapy to work b-but sometimes I still get lost. It's only when everything fell apart and reality just hit that I realized that I just can't do this. I can't do it."
There's silence on the phone and she picks up on other voices in his surrounding area. "Tell me why." His voice softens.
"Because I don't love Chris. I could never love him," she blubbers. "Trying is useless. I still love Ashton so much and every day I miss him more than ever." She wipes her face furiously. "I know he left me, but I just wish he would come back. Why can't I stop loving him? He broke my heart, but it's like he consumes me. I'd much rather struggle to be with him than Chris."
Jared chuckles and Ria scowls down at the receiver.
"This isn't funny," she sobs. "I've become this reckless, stupid person just because the love of my life abandoned me. I can't take it anymore. I don't know what to do."
"You've done all you needed to, Ria," Jared reassures. "We'll be home soon."
Those are the last words that Jared leaves her with.
IMPORTANT: Just in case not everyone is aware of this, Chris is knowingly sexually and emotionally abusing Ria. He is using these tactics to try and keep her with him. He's not an oblivious poor boy, but just as manipulative as Daniel.
He's been shown throughout the series figuring out manipulative ways to 'keep Ria' and 'make Ria fall in love with him'. Pushing her into sex and not to leave him is abuse and it's not okay.
☆
A lot has happened!!!
Chris proposed and forced Ria to accept.
Ria is finally coming to her senses and realizes she can't do it anymore.
Jared is surprisingly calm and collected.....͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Next chapter is in Ashton's pov....
Ugh! Next chapter is the one we've been holding on to our tiny bits of sanity for!!!
Updates coming forward are gonna be epiiiiiiiiiiic!!!
-briiiiiiiヽ(*≧ω≦)ﾉ✨