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Sincere; 2 Weeks Later
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"Well, everything looks fine down here," Dr. Richardson announced as he looked up above my propped up legs.
I did as Effrin said and went to see a doctor. I had went the day Effrin told me to but they only ran tests on me. I wasn't going to see a doctor for another two weeks. "Really?" I asked sitting up as he sat across from me in his rolling stool. He pulled a pen out of his jacket and wrote something down on his clipboard. "Yes. You said you had bleeding, right?" I nodded my head. "Yeah." "When?" He asked looking up from over the brim of his glasses.
I bit my lip. I hated telling some old man this but I knew it was going to be for my health. "When I was sleeping with someone. Well, he wasn't even to go inside of me before I began feeling pain and the bleeding started." "Did you continue to have sex?" He asked.
I shook my head. "No. That was a few weeks ago and I haven't tried ever since. Everything just hurts so badly." He tapped his pen against the clipboard like he was thinking of something before he turned his full attention back to me. "I didn't see anything down there but it could be either one of three things. One, you could have an STD that I can't see. Is your body going through any abnormal changes that I should be aware of?"
I shook my head, no. "No. It's just the sex that hurts. This was the first and only time this has happened," I replied. "Okay, well number two, are you and this other man always sexually active?" He asked. "No." "When was the last time before this previous experience that the two of you had sexual intercourse." "About four years Dr. Richardson," I replied.
"Okay, well honestly you might have had to get adjusted to his size since it's been awhile. Did you lubricate?" He asked. I felt my cheeks flush every time he asked me another question that got deeper into the sex lives of Effrin and I. "No. We kind of just...went for it, you know?" He nodded his head and wrote something else down on his clipboard.
"That could have been the reason or inflammation. You put on your papers that you're taking birth control. Right?" He asked. "Yeah I am." "Well the inflammation may have caused cervix erosion because of the birth control pills you've been taking. I want you to lay off of the pills for a a few weeks and don't have sex either. I'm going to schedule you an appointment for three weeks from today because usually the infected area can clear up if the source of it stops. So, you understand?"
I nodded my head, yes. "Yeah. Thanks Dr. Richardson. I really appreciate this." "No problem. It's my job Miss. Cole and one more thing before I head out," He stated. "Yes?" "We got your tests results back from your urine test. Now, I'm not supposed to give out any of my patients' information to anyone but a reason you might have been getting bleeding is because of the crack cocaine we found in your system."
I scrunched up my face. "Crack? You think I'm on crack?" He nodded his head, being serious. "I would never do something like that when I know how addicting it can be. Maybe you got my test results mixed up with somebody else's but I have too much to lose to try and be snorting crack. Could I get some privacy while I change, please?" I asked.
"Sure Miss. Cole but just know that we take things very seriously around here. Now, I've known you for years and when I found out your results I asked them to test it again and it all came back the same for you. I don't know if it's somebody you've slept with but regardless, we still found traces of cocaine in your system. It wasn't a lot but it was enough for the scientists to be able to detect it. It might not have been you but someone you were with but you need to be careful."
With that he walked out of the room. I took a deep breath and pulled off my gown before slipping back into the dress and sandals I was wearing today. I grabbed my purse and walked out of the doctor's office, upset. My appointment went better than I thought because after reading online for days about my issue I came to the assumption that I had an STD. Luckily, it's just inflammation and/or not lubrication but finding cocaine in my system was preposterous. I never did cocaine a day in my life. I don't even know anybody who's do--Effrin.
I frowned and picked up my pace through the parking lot. I hopped in my truck and drove as quickly as I could to his house. I really hope this dumb ass isn't back on drugs. He's got too much going for him right now to go back to the same state he was in a few years ago. It would kill me if I found out it was him, since I remembered how badly the drugs abused him. Effrin was in the worse position in his life and going back to doing that unthinkable would just be insane.
When I pulled up to the big, double gates in front of his house I could hear his and Victoria's voices outside. I put in the code for the gate and impatiently waited as they slowly opened up for me o drive through but when they did I mashed on the gas pedal and turned up in his circular driveway, to find him and Victoria sitting outside on his front porch.
I turned my truck off and hopped out ready to confront Effrin but Victoria ran over to me, stopping any confrontations. I smiled as I eyed her toothy smile, that resembled Effrin's. "Hey baby," I scooped her up in my arms and kissed her cheek. "Were you good for Daddy today?" She nodded her head. "Yeah," She replied as I took her over to Effrin's porch.
I put her down and leaned down to her level. "Could you get your stuff together so we can go?" I asked. She nodded her head and ran back into Effrin's house. I took a deep breath and sat down next to Effrin, trying my best to control my anger. I didn't want to confront him about it because he needed help, if he was using cocaine again. I couldn't come at him wrong because then he's not going to want any help.
"Hey," I mumbled, looking up at him, only to see him starring back down at me. "Hey. How'd your appointment go?" I shrugged my shoulders. "Alright." "There's nothing wrong with you, right?" He asked, throwing his arm over my shoulder. I shook my head, no. "No, it was just inflammation and not lubricating. I'll be fine but I need to ask you something before I leave."
He sighed and removed his arm from around my shoulder. "Before you even start going off on me about it I already have an explanation," He started. I sighed, now understanding why he had been acting so weird and uptight the past few weeks. "I just used it a couple of times and before I came to see you early that morning. I had a feeling it was gonna come up in your test results but I didn't mean for it to hurt you. I'm sorry."
"Sorry? That's all you can say? You could have given me HIV Effrin." He shook his head. "I know but damn I'm clean with my shit. I'm not dirty and I'm not sharing my shit with nobody else. You wouldn't have caught anything from me. I'm clean and I don't share with nobody else," He replied, turning to me.
I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye but wasn't able to even look him in the eye after his confession. "How long have you been back on crack?" I whispered, not knowing how to gather my words. He sighed. "Just a few months." "A few months!? You were smoking when you had Victoria?" I asked as my eyes began to burn and I knew what that meant. I didn't want to cry in front of Effrin but I couldn't help myself. Anything could have happened to Victoria while he was high.
"I was high sometimes but I knew what was going on but usually I wasn't," He reached out and grabbed my hand while he turned me to face him. "Do you believe me?"
I shrugged my shoulders and looked down as tears rolled down my cheeks. "I don't know Effrin. I thought you went to rehab and got help. What happened to that? I thought you were done with this shit. You've got two kids and two families to take care of. How could you do some immature shit like this again? Didn't you learn the first time that this shit isn't gonna do anything but hurt you in the end? It might feel good while you're using it but look at you Effrin. You don't even look the same anymore. I don't know why I haven't noticed but your nose bleeds and all of the nose bleeds you've been having were because of the crack. Right?"
He nodded his head. "Yeah. Why are you crying?" I sniffed and wiped my tears off of my face. "Because you don't know how much you hurt me Effrin. I'm so disappointed, I don't know what else to do besides cry because you hurt me so deeply. I thought we were telling each other e-e--" I wasn't even able to finish before the hiccups started.
Effrin sighed and wiped my tears away. "I'm sorry. I'm truly sorry Sincere. I just--I just don't know what to do, alright? I feel so lost without you. I hate having to confess my love for you every time we get into it but I just want you to know that I'm madly in love with you Sincere. I think about you every waking hour of my day. The crack was just something to try to get my mind off of you but it keeps me up all night, just thinking of you when I know I shouldn't be. I know I hurt you, so badly that you think you won't be able to forgive me, but I know you will. I'm so lost without you around, constantly nagging me and keeping me on the right track. Just don't keep walking away from me Sincere. I swear I'm on the verge of committing suicide every day we're apart. I need you Sincere, not just for the sex but for you. You're the only person who constantly pushes me because you're the only person who see's my potential and hasn't given up on me. Please, just stick around. Please?"
I looked up as I heard his voice begin to crack. I cupped his face in my palms and leaned my forehead against his. "I've always been here Effrin. Just stop pushing me away. You should have come to me when you first started because you know I'm always going to help you and hold you up when nobody else will Efrin," I mumbled, still crying. I tried stopping myself from crying but hearing him cry made the tears pour out of my eyes.
"I got some of my stuff. I just need some help," Victoria's voice small voice announced when I heard the front door close. "Are you guys crying?" She asked standing in front of us. I sniffed and wiped my tears before I laughed, making sure Victoria didn't put too much thought into what was going on with us. "Yeah but we're okay now. I think we're going to stay with Daddy for a little while longer. Okay?"
She smiled and jumped up and down. "Yes! C'mon Mommy, I gotta show you the fort me and Daddy made today." I laughed and let Victoria drag me into Effrin's house that I hadn't been inside in a few weeks. She drug me around the house to the living room, well what used to be the living room but was now filled with covers and sheets to make the best fort in the world. "Where's the TV at?" I asked her.
"Follow me." She got down on her knees and crawled through the fort and I did the same thing, wondering where all of Effrin's living room furniture had went but when I got inside I was amazed. The TV was under the fort in front of a bunch of pillows and a light so you could see. "You and Daddy made this?" I asked pulling her in my lap in front of the TV that still had some Disney movie playing. She nodded her head and picked up one of the pillows to reveal a bunch of candy. "Don't tell Daddy but I took his candy."
I laughed and nodded my head. "My lips are sealed," I whispered as she covered the candy back up with the pillows, as if Effrin wasn't going to be able to notice it. "Sin? Victoria?" I heard Effrin call. "We're in the fort!" I yelled back to him. I heard shuffling then saw Effrin crawling towards us under the fort. When he finally made it to where we were he sat laid down next to me, putting his head in my lap just like Victoria.
We stayed in this same position for hours. Just watching movies, with our phones turned off and barricaded under this fort. I hated ignoring everybody trying to get in contact with me but I needed this. I needed this family time, that I hadn't had in years. I missed being around them, even if it was because of Effrin's addiction.
At least he had the decency to admit he was using and needed help instead of lying and pushing it off to the side like there wasn't anything wrong with what he was doing. He understood what he was doing and was willing to truthfully get help this time because he knew what he was jeopardizing just being around the cocaine.
I looked down at Victoria who had fallen asleep, while Effrin was just lying there watching the movie. I hesitantly rubbed my hand against his cheek, unsure if I should even be touching him this way because last time we got this close we almost slept together. I pulled my hand back from Effrin's face when I felt him shaking beneath me. "Effrin?" I whispered as he grabbed a hold of my hand.
He kissed my hand and turned around in my arms, so I could see his bloodshot eyes. "Please fight the urge. Don't let Victoria see you like this," I whispered. "I'm trying Sin. I've been trying for the past few hours," He replied as the doorbell rang. He sighed and was about to climb off of my lap to get it but I stopped him. "I'll get it. Just stay here and watch Victoria."
He nodded his head and raised up so I could exit the fort and answer the front door, only to see Diamond. She frowned when she saw that it was me who opened up the door. "What are you doing in King's house? Where is he at?" She questioned, looking over both of my shoulders so she could get a good look at Effrin's house. "He's not feeling too well right now. You can come back in a few days if you want but you can't see him right now."
"Look bitch, I've tried so hard to put up with your shit but I refuse to from here on out," She snapped. "This is the second time I've ever had any interactions with you and from the first time we met you acted like I did something to you. I don't even know you, so I don't know why you hate me so much," I replied.
"You know why I hate you!" "No?" I asked, confused. "Every bitch in this city hates you. Every time King becomes single, you're always there to step into the picture and steal him away from a bitch that's trying her hardest to please him. Who the hell do you think you are just taking a nigga away from somebody else?" "I never stole King away from anybody and quite frankly the only reason I'm always over here is for our daughter. There's nothing more to what's going," I replied.
She scoffed. "Yeah, right. Tell King that I'll call him later and your ass better tell him I came by. Homie stealin' hoe," She mumbled turning to walk off of the porch steps. "Bitch, go get them horse teeth fixed. Yo' ass done sucked so many d*cks your teeth started looking worse than that piece of shit on your head you're calling a weave."
I slammed the door close and locked it before she could even get another insult in. I hated stooping down to ignorant hoes levels but sometimes I just had to. These hoes need to learn not to get out of line anymore. I crawled back under the fort with Effrin and Victoria. Victoria was still sleeping since it was so late but Effrin was still laying there, awake. "Who was at the door?" He asked, making space for me.
"Diamond. I told her you weren't feeling well and to come back in a few days." I laid down in the space he made available for me, which was between him and Victoria. He wrapped his arms around the both of us and pulled us both closer to him. I wrapped my arm around his seemingly warm ones, which were still shaking. "Don't leave me beautiful."
I couldn't help but blush at the sound of the compliment, he hasn't let slip out of his mouth for me in a few years. "I promise I won't Effrin but you're going to get help. I can't help you overcome this. We're going to tell Jason so he can help me take you to rehab, so you can get some help. Alright?" I asked, waiting on a response but he was quiet.
He only buried his head behind mine and kissed my shoulder. I sighed, knowing that was his conformation of him understanding me. As much as I wanted to help Effrin on my own, I knew I couldn't. I'd just give into his erratic behavior when I knew he needed professional help, that would ultimately benefit him and our family. Maybe this will get us back on the right track.
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30+ Comments.
Of course Sincere wasn't having a miscarriage. I just said that to throw y'all off but she couldn't have a miscarriage like that. Duhh. Well, he confessed his love like many times before and came clean. How do you guys feel about that? Do y'all think Sincere should help him or take him to rehab? If he goes to rehab, how will that affect his kids? Do you think Sincere and Effrin should try things out again?
Sincere is on the side.