written on — 27.3.14
inspiration — i like constellations and i was in a crushing mood. let's pretend all those constellations were founded way back when ok bear with me i wanted to do an snk oneshot instead of an au especially for jeanmarco so here it is
word count — 1,500
CONSTELLATIONS
"Jean." The whisper came from the window closest to his bunk. "Pssst, Jean. Wake up, dammit!"
Jean opened his eyes to the wooden frame of the top bunk and blinked sleep away several times. He rubbed his eyes and sat up in bed. Marco was by the window, one hand on the outer sill and the other beckoning to get closer. He could still hear Marco's whispers. "Jean, come out. I have to show you something."
"Are you kidding me?" Jean hissed. He inched closer to the window when he pulled his blankets back and made sure no one else was awake. They weren't. He turned his attention back to the window. "Marco, we're in the same cabin. How did you even get out? Why did you sneak out? It's, like, 2AM. You're gonna get caught."
"I wanted to look at the sky. Now get out of the cabin, I want to show you something. You won't regret it, I promise."
Jean sighed. If anyone else asked him, his answer would have been "no" in a heartbeat. Too bad this was Marco. Jean opened the window after grabbing his training jacket; the spring air was frigid. Once the window was wedged open with a portion of Jean's pillow, he followed Marco away from the cabin and into the edge of the forest. "Marco," he said, his voice louder now, "if I get killed or sent home because of you, so help me-"
"You won't."
"What makes you say that?"
Marco didn't slow down as he walked through the trees. Jean did his best to keep up with the freckled boy, but his boots kept getting tangled with the roots of the trees. The brunet in front of him didn't turn around as he spoke. "I'll take the blame for you. Besides, I won't get killed, I'll only get kicked out of the trainees and get sent back home."
Jean tried to register Marco's words. When it finally sunk in he was ready to ask a question but didn't have the chance to. Marco pushed two large branches away and, holding one aside for Jean, announced, "Here we are!"
"Uh..." Jean looked around. The cleared area was nothing special. It was just that―a clearing. It was small, too, so it looked as if only about ten people standing could fill it. For the two of them, it seemed like the right size though. "Where is 'here', exactly?"
"This clearing is my favourite." Marco walked an extra two steps so that he was standing in the middle of the clearing. He stuffed his hands into the extra jacket he brought and looked up above. "Remember that one time I told you about how obsessed with the stars I was?"
Jean's hardened face became softer. They had shared that conversation over bread in the dining hall. "Yeah, I remember."
"Yeah." When Jean looked at Marco, the moonlight reflected off of the boy's face, making him appear paler than he was and without any freckles; they were drowned in moonlight.
With or without freckles, he found Marco breathtaking.
Marco pointed to the stars above. "Look over there. You see that bundle of stars? If you connect them in this way, you get a large spoon. It's called the Big Dipper, or Ursa Major, or the Mother Bear. It has a lot of names."
Jean watched Marco's index finger trace the outlines of constellations, afraid the boy would turn around and see how flushed his face was. In order to carefully see which stars Marco was pointing to, Jean had to be close to him. Very close.
"And that one over there..." Jean's eyes shifted from Marco's hand to his face. There was a small smile on it, a thoughtful smile. "That's Orion, one of my favourites. He's a more complex constellation, but see those? That long line is Orion's belt. And the largest star in that..."
Jean listened to Marco for the longest time, just his voice and how passionately the freckled boy spoke of such tiny lights in the sky. At one point during talk of Cassiopeia, he stopped himself and sat in the grass. "God, Jean, I'm sorry. I wanted to show you some constellations and yet here I am, rambling about a bunch of star formations you probably don't care about."
Jean wouldn't call what he felt 'not caring,' since it most definitely wasn't that. He was never interested in stars before meeting Marco, but now that they were friends, he was intrigued by the boy's fascination. "I do care," he said as he sat beside Marco. "But...one question."
"Yeah?"
"Why would you take the blame for me? I mean, you want to join the survey corps, and I know you will, but...why risk it?" Jean leaned back, his palms pressed into the dewy grass. He closed his eyes. "I don't get it."
The two boys held eye contact for a long time before Marco spoke. "I'd be okay back at home if it meant you were in the military like /you/ want to be."
Jean's throat tightened. "What would happen if one of us were to die? What would happen if I died?"
Marco bit his lip. "Jean―"
"No." He may have looked dumb if anyone else were around, but in that moment, he had no shame with placing his hand atop Marco's. "I'm being realistic. I don't want to think about it, but if it does happen, what then?"
Without an extra moment to spare, Marco looked back up to the stars. The smile was off his face when he said, "I'd join the Military Police. For you."
Jean blinked and looked up at the stars. Thanks to Marco he was able to identify Ursa Major, Orion, and Casseiopeia. He felt Marco turn his hand, which was under Jean's over. Their fingers intertwined. When he decided to lie down in the grass, Marco followed suit. "Marco?"
"Yeah?"
"Tell me about your other favourite constellations. Before we have to go back to camp." Jean closed his eyes once more to stop himself from kissing Marco right then and there.
He heard the smile in Marco's voice when he agreed, and he wasn't sure how much time passed while in that small clearing.
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It had been one month.
Jean was still wearing the 3D maneuver gear-his 3D maneuver gear-when they were stationed in the forest and everyone had a moment to themselves. It was around one in the morning.
"Jean," Eren whispered. "Aren't you going to bed? It's late. We have to get up early tomorrow."
He was already putting on his boots. "Don't worry about me. I'll be back soon."
Jean knew that even Eren knew to leave him to his actions. Everyone knew Jean was taking the realization the hardest, even if it had only been one month. He closed the door silently behind him before he made his way out of the cabin and into the trees. He obviously wasn't at the same clearing, but it was similar enough.
Jean unsheathed the swords that he still had and laid them in the grass before lying beside them himself. He kept his eyes open the entire time, staring at the stars above. In the exact order as it was done one month ago, he located the constellations that were visible in the sky. When he looked back at Orion, specifically at Orion's belt, he noticed an additional star in the belt, near the largest one. Jean smiled.
"Hey Marco," he said. "It's been a month and I don't really know what to say to you-or whatever you is listening right now." He took a deep breath. "I think it's obvious at this point, but remember when you said you'd join the Military Police for me?" A pause, followed by a scoff. As if I'll actually get an answer. "Well, guess who joined the Survey Corps."
Jean looked over at the swords beside him. "I hope you're alright with me using your swords. I...I couldn't let them give your equipment to someone else. I promise you I'll take care of it."
He closed his eyes then. Marco was a part of Orion's belt now; he must have been happy about that. Because he didn't know what else to say at that point, Jean sat up and sheathed his swords-no, Marco's swords-once more. "I'll always miss you, you know. But you'll always be the one killing titans right? Not me. There's a reason I'm using your gear."
As he walked back to camp, he patted down the hilt of his right sword. "We have an entire day ahead of us tomorrow. I hope you're ready, Marco."
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I recommend listening to the Youtube video on the side for maximum emotion. LIke...on repeat. It's really good.