John's POV
I was running. From what, I don't know. All I knew was the rocky mountain path beneath my feet was Afghanistan. Dressed in my uniform once again, this time all alone.
I couldn't hear anything over the roaring wind, dust and sand burning my eyes. I slammed to a stop, stopping just before a solid wall of rock. Without thinking, I reached up, pulling myself up the sheer incline. The adrenaline washed through my veins, knees wobbling from the rush.
I pulled myself to the top of the cliff, terror sealed in my heart for reasons that I couldn't seem to grasp. On the tip of my tongue, yet forgotten. I turned around, heaving for air.
There was nothing there. Just the mountain I'd been running up, the dust still billowing around me.
And then I was being yanked from behind, off the cliff.
Falling.
***
"John, wake up!"
I woke with a start, Sherlock's warm hand on my bare shoulder. "It's just me, John. Just me," he whispered.
My heart was pounding, alarmingly so. My chest and eyes still aching with the sand and dirt. Mind racing to figure out where I was.
Home, in bed with my husband. Safe.
I pulled Sherlock against me, breathing uneven and ragged. "Oh thank God," I breathed. His arms locked against neck, undoubtedly hearing how quick my heartbeat was. I rocked back, breathing deeply into his hair.
"You're safe, John," he murmured against my shoulder. I nodded, finally beginning to loosen my grip on him.
I'd gone nearly the whole week without a nightmare, it had been inevitable. Yet that hadn't prepared me for it, it was still just as horrifying.
Sherlock's hand was on my back, rubbing it slowly. "What was it this time?"
"Afghanistan, I was alone this time. What time is it?"
He rested his chin on my shoulder, sighing. "Four in the morning." I nodded, before untangling myself from him. I stood from the bed, stretching. I reached back, holding out a hand to him. He took it, following me into the sitting room. I sat down as he sunk into his own chair, the two close enough for our knees to knock.
Sherlock had brought a blanket with him, wrapping himself in it dutifully while waiting for me to speak.
"It hasn't sunk in yet, I think. That we're safe," I finally said. "I don't know how to deal with there being nothing to worry about. No worries about the trial, or Stewart. Because it's all gone now. And I don't know how to get back to normal now."
A lump formed in the back of my throat and I shook my head, hanging it. The rustle of the blanket alerted me to his movement, but it wasn't until I raised my head that I understood what he was doing.
Still wrapped in his blanket, Sherlock quietly took his violin out of his case. Not bothering to really tune, he began playing. The melody was low and sweet, one I'd recognize anywhere. The song he'd written to help with my nightmares when I'd originally moved in.
Tears sprung to the back of my eyes, threatening to spill over as he wandered over, and carefully perched on my knee. He sat back, his back resting against my chest as he continued to play. I wrapped my arms around his waist, the tears spilling over. Sherlock continued to play as I cried, giving the utmost comfort he could.
By the time the song ended, I had calmed for the most part. He set the violin off to the side before fully turning to me. He was positioned so that he was siting in my lap, back leaning against one arm rest, legs falling over the other.
Slender fingers cupped my face, wiping at the tear tracks. He leaned in, lips brushing against mine sweetly.
"You're not alone, I'm here," he assured. I nodded, flashing a small smile. "You're okay." He nodded with me before placing his head on my chest. I wrapped my arms around him entirely, pressing my lips into his hair.
We were alive, safe. Okay. "I love you, my sweet Sherlock."
"Would you like to go back to bed, or should we just get up now?" He asked quietly, fingertips tracing delicate patterns on my chest.
"I think we're due for another couple hours of sleep. We've gotten up most days this week, I think a lie-in is in order," I decided.
He slowly untangled himself from my arms, holding his hand out for me once he was standing. I chuckled at our mirrored positions from not an hour ago, but let him help me up nonetheless. He guided me back into our room, curling so that we were pressed close in the earliest rays of dawn.
"We've got all the time in the world now, okay? We don't have to have it all figured out now, we'll get back to normal eventually. But we'll get there together. I promise," he whispered.
I found myself smiling fondly, if not sadly, at him. I nodded slowly, pressing my lips to his nose. "Thank you, love. For everything."
I fell back asleep quickly, drinking in my husbands presence, his comfort. Unpredictable and safe, all at once. There was no better paradox than him.
***
"Are we ready to go?" I asked quietly, watching my husband from the door frame. Sherlock slipped his coat on, turning the collar up.
"I think so, yes," he said slowly, voice uncertain. I uncrossed my arms, patient as he grabbed a pin from the dresser. We'd given it to Olivia,a small 'thank you' gift for singing at our wedding. It was solid gold, an emerald music note shimmering in the middle of the pin.
Alice hadn't wanted to keep it, neither had Nneoma or Afiba. They all had so many reminders of her as it was, they didn't want this one too.
Sherlock hadn't wanted to throw it out, so he kept it, wearing it on his coat every time he wore it. Lately, it had been warm enough to not wear our coats, but today was different.
Today, we were going to visit Olivia's grave for the first time since her funeral. Alice hadn't wanted to go alone, and asked us to come along.
We were to be picking her up quite soon, but I didn't rush Sherlock as he pinned it to his coat. "Alright. Let's go," he sighed. I reached my hand out, taking it as we left into the cab waiting for us.
Alice was already waiting outside the shop, dressed plainly in black and navy blue. Sherlock slipped out of the cab, giving her a quick hug before she joined us in the cab.
The cabbie was quite chipper, attempting to make small talk of some sort. "So where are you all headed today?"
"To my girlfriends grave," Alice deadpanned, tone edging on angry. At least seemed to shut the cabbie up.
He dropped us off at the cemetery without another word, even throwing an apologetic glance at Alice when she got out. She didn't notice, staring into the cemetery as she waited. I paid the cabbie quickly, wishing him a good day as I stepped back onto the pavement.
Joining Sherlock and Alice, I stared up at the entrance gate as well, it's wrought iron rusting orange.
Alice breathed deeply for a moment, before stepping forward to push the gate open. It creaked as the waist-high gate swung back, letting us in. The three of us shuffled in, scanning the rows of graves for the glass one.
It was the last row, the most recent ones. Sherlock and I paused, watching as Alice sat down onto the ground. A couple wildflowers had sprung up around the sapphire colored glass.
I couldn't hear what she was saying, just the quiet murmur of her voice as she sat there. I slid my hand across Sherlock's back, looking on as a teenage girl talked to her past love. Passed on and gone.
How horrible, how fast she'd gone. In such a short amount of time, she'd gone from this world.
After a couple of minutes, she stood again. Her face was wet and shining, but she smiled stiffly. "Thank you guys for coming with me. I didn't want to come alone," she offered weakly.
Sherlock smiled, stepping forward to meet her. "Thank you for inviting us. I know it's difficult, the first couple of times especially." She nodded, rubbing her eyes.
"You promise it gets easier?"
He pulled her in, "Even scars heal, Alice in Wonderland." She nodded, hugging him tightly before stepping away.
"Even scars heal." She nodded again, letting the words sink into her before looking back to the glass grave.
"We should probably head back," Alice sighed. Her gaze caught mine and she gave a faint smile before trudging back to the road.
We caught another cab, dropping Alice off at the shop first. She hesitated at the edge of the pavement, hand on the cab door.
"You're coming by tomorrow, aren't you? For lunch?" She asked quietly, staring down at the pavement.
"Of course, Alice. We won't miss it," Sherlock assured, equally as quiet. Alice's gaze raised to meet his and she nodded, satisfied with what she found there. She shut the door, stepping back as the cab pulled away.
We weren't just coming by for lunch tomorrow, but to help get everything ready for Alice's first day back at school.
Or at least, her first day in the summer program that would let her continue onto senior year.
Sherlock was silent for the rest of the way home, mind wandering into far corners that he was hard to reach in.
He snapped back to reality once the cab had stopped, ocean eyes clearing from whatever storm he'd just been through. I didn't ask though, until we were inside. I stepped close to him, reaching up to brush a curl out of his eyes.
"What's happening up here?" I asked, giving his forehead a gentle tap. He flushed involuntarily, giving a small smile before it gave way to the worry he felt.
"Alice," he began. "I'm worried about her. I know she wants to finish schooling with the rest of her classmates, but I'm worried."
I grimaced, cupping his jaw in my hands. His fingers latched onto my forearms, holding on tightly. "I know. I'm worried too. But she's trying to heal, and the fact that she wants to do this is good." He nodded, not meeting my eyes.
"You'll always worry about her. As will Jack, and myself. But we have to give her space to heal. And she's healing."
He nodded, attempting to shake this worry for tonight. "You're right, she is. She'll be okay." He nodded again, more for himself than for me.
I leaned in, placing my lips against his forehead. "Alright? Now, I promised a surprise for tonight, didn't I?" I caught his gaze and smiled.
"Did you really think I forgot?" He asked, mirth beginning to fill his tone again.
"Of course not, my clever man. Have you deduced it yet?"
"You haven't mentioned anything about getting dressed up, so I believe I can rule dinner or outing out. We went to the cinema two days ago, and you don't like repeating dates so soon. That leaves us at home, though you are one for romance so it's likely romantic. And sappy knowing you."
I chuckled, shaking my head fondly. "You are too, my love."
He raised a brow, teasing. "You're the one who calls me, 'my love.'" I rolled my eyes playfully, letting him continue.
"Considering the fact that you proposed to me a year ago today, I'm going to say it has something to do with that, likely dancing since that was your method of proposal. Correct?"
I smiled, nodding. "Quite. You're missing something though, come with me." I took his hand, leading him up the stairs, into our home.
"I'll draw a bath for us later, but, dancing is indeed part of the night." I'd gotten a speaker at some point within the year, and had set it up before we left earlier. I hit play before holding out my hand.
The piano chords began to softly play, as he took my hand, eyes full of fond confusion. "I haven't heard this song before," he drawled slowly, even as I took him into my arms. One hand slipped around his waist, the other finding his own. The singer started, a voice of honey coming over the speakers.
He looped his free arm around my neck, pursing his lips to keep from smiling. We began rocking back and forth, dancing slowly in the dim light.
"I found this song a couple days ago, I didn't show it to you because I wanted to save it for this."
The chorus began, and we continued to dance quietly.
Can I love you? Would it be alright?
I leaned in, kissing him deeply as it played on. His lips tugged upwards, breaking the kiss. I grinned too, despite myself. "Stop smiling, dammit." I laughed, kissing him again.
"Sorry," he chuckled. We kept rocking in a slow circle, soft smiles and kisses exchanging. A few more songs played until the one I knew would both break us and bring us closer than ever.
What would I do without your smart mouth, drawing me in, and you kicking me out.
His smile didn't fade, though it turned more sad than before. He leaned his forehead against mine, breathing deeply. We stopping rocking, now just swaying in place. The song ended, leaving us in silence.
"I didn't think it was possible to love you more than I did then. But it was, I've never loved you more than I do now, and that will never diminish. I love you, my clever man." His breathing had grown ragged, but he closed the gap between us, kissing me slowly.
My hand left his, now going to his other hip as I brought him flush against me. I kissed him, over and over, unable to stop. Until he pulled just far enough to say, "Could we skip the bath for tonight?"
I smirked, kissing him again. "We can do anything you'd like." I led him back into our bedroom, never letting go of him.
I sat down on the bed, kicking my shoes off before pulling him down onto my lap. We started out slow, doing nothing more than kissing, as if we had all the time in the world.
Because we did. We'd made it though this, and now, we had the rest of our lives to heal and to love again.
AN: ONLY ONE MORE CHAPTER GUYS! This story has been a wild ride but at least it's gonna have a (maybe) happy ending. Thank you all for the reads, the comments, the votes, all of it. I love you all and it's been an honor serving your fangirl needs! (Jk, but also true I guess)
Also the first song is called Can I? by Tedy