AJanae’s POV:
My heart drops at the steep sight before the roller coaster begins to move down slowly.
Tick, tick, tick....whoo!
I throw my hands up in the air as the roller coaster rolls down at a great speed from the very top, my hair blowing all over the place as Mark too is given the windswept look. I close my eyes and grin, reaping in the benefits of the adrenalin rush, forgetting everything and just living and being in the moment.
"That was amazing! You up for round 2?" I ask Mark in a rush, the adrenalin kicking in full force that I find it difficult to stand still. The feeling of your heart watching up into your throat and the fear on instinct that kicks in, is absolutely indescribable and fantastically addicting.
Mark pushes me aside and runs to a trash can. I watch in amusement and disgust as he pukes his guts out. He'd always been afraid of fast rides and heights, yet today for the first time he joined me, contributing to my request of numbing out all the pain and it seemed to be working.
I hadn't had so much fun before since...well ever.
This is exactly what I needed. A night of the past and a night of fun to release all the negative energy building up within me.
For the first time ever, I was letting go!
I mentally sigh at Mark for slowing us down. The next ride's line is bound to get longer the more time we waste. However, I feel guilty when Mark falls to the floor and places his head in his hands, clearly not feeling all too well. I sit down on the dirty cement beside him and place my hand on his back, trying to support him. "You go on ahead." he murmurs, "I am not feeling too good right now."
"Well clearly." I laugh as I rub his back in comfort, feeling close to him in the moment.
He glances up at me with those sky blue eyes, "You're not mad?" I shake my head. I cannot blame the poor guy for being sick because I forced him on his worst nightmare in order to make myself feel better. He falls silent, his eyes glaze over with emotions that I cannot decipher.
"What?" I ask when his intimate stare fails to fade.
He shakes his head with a small smile, "You're still so beautiful."
I advert my eyes, not willing to get into this right now, well ever. “Mark…” I start, “Please don’t go there. That’s a closed chapter.”
“Well maybe we should open it again.” He insists as he continues, “I can’t apologize enough for what I did to you. I can say sorry for the rest of my life and it would never be enough. You-“
I shake my head and put my hand up in front of him, signifying for him to halt in his words. “Stop talking. I don’t want to get into this now of all times. Leave it in the past.”
He grabs hold of my lifted hand in his own and lowers my hand as he continues despite my begging, “What if it’s not all in the past. You need to hear this. You need closure. I never meant to hurt you. I never wanted to hurt you of all people. When Leona came round-“
“Enough!” I raise my tone, exasperated as I put my hand over my ears to block him out.
Except he doesn’t give up. He places his hands over mine and moves my hands off my ears so that I could hear him loud and clear. “I never planned on kissing her. She tempted me, kept touching my arm and before I knew it were in my bedroom and I was swept away in lust. Then you came in and it hit me hard. I realized what I had done and-“
A tear that I had been bottling up for months rolls slowly down my cheek. I never wanted to shed a dam tear over what he did to me. Then again, I am not even sure I’m crying over him. I thought a night of fun would fix the broken fragments that had become me. The only thing it did was maybe block me out to the truth for a few hours before I had to go back to Dean’s house and face the sickening reality. I have no home and no family and maybe it’s time I come to accept that. “Please just stop.” I beg. I wanted my mind off everything in the present, which never meant I wanted to jump straight back into the past either.
“I have to say this. Let me finish what I never ever got the chance to say. You still forgave me after everything I did and you tried to be my friend. I went haywire and I changed before your eyes. You never knew me anymore and every time I looked into our eyes I felt guilty because I knew I wasn’t who I use to be. So I took the easy route and blocked you out, stopped talking to you completely, knowing that it killed you. If anything I am in your debt now.” He explains, his sky blue eyes never leaving me, holding me captivated in his focused gaze.
It hurt hearing this. I wanted him to stop. I was feeling fragile and vulnerable as it was and he chose now of all times to open up to me and give me closure.
I want to go back to the roller coaster and forget everything, including him and our past.
“I had to do it. Every time I messed up, hangover, whore house, I called you and you were there for me and it didn’t help that I wasn’t over you. I wanted to forget you because when I looked at you all I felt was pain. That’s why I never talked to you for seven months straight, because I was and still am in love with you and it’s hard for me…to just let you go. We’ve been through everything together since birth. I made a mistake and I pay for it every day. Please just forgive me. That’s all I want. I need your forgiveness.” Mark says desperately, little does he know that he was forgiven a long time ago.
I give him a sad smile, my eyes welling up with tears that I refuse to let fall over a shaky past and a future that didn’t exist, “I forgave you the instant it happened.” I confess and my words silence him as he seems astound and in awe of me. I believe in second chances, third chances, fourth chances and multiple chances after that. Everyone makes mistakes. Who am I not to forgive? He was and still is genuinely remorseful and so it was easy to forgive him. However forgetting…that was another story.
“You did?” he asks, still dazed and in disbelief.
I nod, “You of all people should know that I suck at holding a grudge.” I murmur and he chuckles lowly at that as I attempt a small smile.
However I am afraid he gets the wrong impression when his smile falters and becomes replaced with a determined and unwavering gaze. In one swift motion he leans his forehead against mine and moves in. I can feel his heart pending against my own slow and steady heartbeat. When he closes his eyes and his lips brush softly against mine I place my hand on his chest and gently push him away. “If you kiss me then there is no going back. We cannot do this. We’ll be moving backwards instead of forwards. I can’t put my heart on the line for you again. I’m sorry, but those feelings for you have dissipated a long time ago.” I admit to him, saddening him to the extreme in the process as his face falls. He had his say and now I had to have mine. I look him straight in the eye as I confess the sincere truth, not wanting to string him along or give him false hope, “Mark, I don’t love you anymore.”
His face morphs into one of extreme pain and I choose to look away because it truly broke my heart. I had to be honest with him and myself. I felt nothing for him anymore and I am sure that I will never feel for him ever again and a small part of me is grateful for the common sense warning me to never go back there. It was untouched territory.
He doesn’t waste any time in escaping me.
He got up and fled in the opposite direction.
I know he’s hurt and mad and he most likely won’t give me a lift back to Dean’s place, which is why I call Dean to come fetch me.
* * * *
“Next time you go off on your own or with a douchebag, at least have the common courtesy of letting me know. You’re not stable right now and I thought I’d lost you or that you left again or-“
I smile at Dean’s true concern for me as I place a hand on his shoulder when we enter his house, “Dean I’m fine.” I reassure him.
He spins around to face me, “That’s not the point AJ!” he snaps, a reaction that I hadn’t anticipated, especially coming from him. He almost never snaps at people. “Your Gran died less than three days ago and you, as much as you refuse to admit, are not currently stable. You’re not yourself and you’re acting irrationally and impulsively. Joyrides are not going to bring your gran back! You need to stop pretending like it’s all okay and face this to overcome it!” He lectures me, his words striking a nerve. “I was worried about you.” He confesses and I can’t help but feel guilty because while I had been having fun on the roller coaster, Dean was worrying about where I was and with whom I was with.
“I’m sorry. I was just…” I trail off and taking Dean’s words into account. “You’re right Dean.” I say softly. “I’m not stable nor am I myself. I have been acting recklessly. I just thought that if I stopped thinking about her death, then I would be able to move past it.”
Dean’s black eyes lighten slightly, “It’s fine. I am just glad that you’re alright.” He then begins to grin mischievously, “It’s ironic that I am always the one that wants you to let go and live recklessly for the moment, yet here I am, the one reprimanding you. Funny how things change.”
I return the smile, “Yeah.”
Things are always bound to change.
Drew’s POV:
“I don’t want to hear it Tam.” I repeat for the third time, growing annoyed, in fact I was annoyed the first time she asked.
Tamarind presses her lips into a thin line whilst she’s in thought. She jumps off the counter top and walks up to me. Her green eyes find mine, “I’m just saying, I think you should see her. She just lost the only family that she had left. Sure she was going to up and leave town without your knowledge, but then again, was it really any of your business? It’s her life after all and she doesn’t owe you any explanation, unless of course something happened between you two…” Tamarind trails off in a soft whisper and watches me carefully, waiting for my reaction. Clearly she is insecure and is now trying to read my body language. When I don’t react she stops inspecting me and continues, “Because then she most definitely owes you somewhat of an explanation.” She finishes, conveying a message through those interrogating green orbs.
“She’s a close friend.” I state casually and turn away from her calculating gaze as I turn toward the fridge and grab the jug of water before purring the both of us a glass. I hand her the glass and then take a sip of my own water, the iciness cooling my hot temper. I place the glass back down on the counter and then turn back to her, “Isn’t that reason enough?”
Tamarind shifts position as she leans against the fridge door, her riveting eyes still trained on my own as she sips her water slowly, “Fourie was your best friend, your brother, your family. You haven’t thrown so much a fit over him as you did her. In fact you haven’t even mentioned Fourie once and he really has left own. I find that strange.”
I cross my arms over my chest and narrow my eyes at Tamarind in a scrutinizing eye lock, “Are you searching for something that’s not there?” I ask defiantly.
She shakes her head as she accepts my challenging stare, “Just looking for something that is there but not being recognized.”
I’m held captive by her gaze, as per usual. Her striking green eyes always wave me under a spell and as much as I want to break eye contact, I can’t. I decide to play it at a different angle, “How do you know Fourie left town when I haven’t mentioned anything about him?”
Tamarind seems caught off guard for a second, which is extremely rare, but she is quick to mask her astonishment at my observation. “I make it my business to know everything that goes on in this town.”
I lower my head and grin sharply, “I know.” I admit and then add, “I just don’t know why.”
Tamarind gives in, clearly having had enough, “Drop it Drew. I didn’t want to persist in anything, but if AJanae is as close a friend as you say she is, then you’d be there for her right now. If it were the other way round then she’d be here for you. You owe her that much.”
I let out a frustrated sigh because I know that she’s right. I hadn’t even bothered to attend the funeral and ever since then I can’t sleep at night because the guilt is consuming me. “I’ll go see her…” Tamarind smiles in satisfaction at this, knocking the wind out of me. She rarely smiled, but when she did, it was more than simply beautiful. “Hold up, on one condition.” I clarify.
Her smile drops into a disappointed frown, “Should have known.” She mutters and I hold back a laugh at her sulking.
“You can hold onto all your secrets for now. All I want to know in this moment is why you even bother with AJanae when we both know that you’re not too fond of her nor her nor her biggest fan. I’d say jealousy…” I trail off with a smirk which earns me a glare from Tamarind. I continue, “Why do you want me to go see her, other than it’s the right thing to do? Give me that and I’ll drop it.”
Tamarind huffs in aggravation and then sets her gaze to the ceiling as she mumbles words beneath her breath. It’s a habit of hers she does when irritated. She’s a girl after my own heart. We share too many similarities to count them all. She moves her gaze back to me with a determined glint to her olive eyes, “Fine!” She snaps. “AJanae needs to know the truth.” She says and I wait patiently for her to continue as she leaves me confused.
What truth?
“Tell me Drew, do you not find it absolutely strange that when AJanae plans on leaving town, coincidentally Fourie is suddenly leaving too? AJ comes back when she hears of this without her gran in toe. That can only mean that she left her gran back at the airport. If her gran didn’t come with her, it could only mean that her gran didn’t want her to come back here. Her gran was the one that wanted them to leave town. Then suddenly AJ gets home later in the day to find her gran’s dead body in their house when the lasts she saw her gran, she was still at the airport.” Tamarind begins to elaborate and I listen intensively, not wanting to miss out on any details.
I already know what Tamarind is implying, but I don’t want to hear more, “Tamarind…you’re putting your foot on dangerous grounds. There’s mines all around you and one wrong move, one wrong theory and you will blow up to bits. Don’t make accusations without certainty.”
“Why would her gran return to their house? Why not wait for AJ at the airport? If they were in an argument and her gran desperately wanted to leave town, then why would her gran head back into town? For AJ? Maybe. However I doubt this. She’d wait for AJ at the airport because that would be the most logical thing to do. She probably didn’t even know where AJ was heading so there would be no point in returning to their old house. If AJ wasn’t going home then there was no reason for her gran to go home. In my head it doesn’t make any sense. You know I’m right Drew. Find it within yourself to analyse this carefully.” She says in her usual emotionless tone.
I turn my head away from her and build a mental block against her words, “No.” I shake my head adamantly, “No. No. No. Don’t Tam. Stop talking.” I block out any questions popping into my head at her wild theories. “Stop implying it.”
“It?” Tamarind raises both her eyebrows, “You can’t even say the word. That’s how much denial you’re in. Say it Drew. Just say it!”
“No!”
“Say it Drew!”
“Murder!” I blurt out in realization as it dawns on me. “You believe that it wasn’t suicide, you believe that it was murder.”
Tamarind nods in confirmation. “Now I’m not going to act innocent in the matter. You know as well as I do that AJanae has been marked by a pagan group of murders because they want her for something. Don’t ask me how I know because I won’t give you answers. All I want is for you to see that it’s part of the ritual for the loved ones of the marked to be killed off. Is it merely a coincidence that the one AJ loves most in life suddenly dies and only when they try escape town? In the end AJ is forced to stay in town, giving them exactly what they want.” Tamarind asks and when I don’t reply she takes the hint that she’s getting through to me. “If there’s one thing I have learnt in life, it’s that there are no random coincidences. Drew it was planned.”
I weigh everything she says in my mind and slowly I nod, signifying that I agreed, that’s she successfully opened my eyes to the truth. I would love to know how Tamarind gets all this information, but I know that she’s perceptive yet even that trait is not enough. She’s involved one way or another, however I wish not to be involved. I sigh and face Tamarind, “Destiny must have it in for me or something because overtime I try not be connected to all of this, I am forced to be involved.” Tamarind stifles her giggle at this. I give her a dead panned stare, “What do you want me to say to her?” I finally give in.
“Well you weren’t at the death scene so it’s not like you can point out anything. You’re going to have to play by the book this time round. Don’t spring it all on her at once. Ease her into the theory like I did with you-“
I laugh loud at this, “Yeah because you were so gentle when throwing the baggage of truth on my shoulders.” I retort sarcastically.
Tamarind gives me a look, “You done?” I nod, “Good. Anyways remind her of the scene she saw. Make her remember and relive all that she saw when she stepped into the house. She has to remember something, something of proof that will confirm my suspicions. She’s an intelligent person and she would have taken in the scene and all its detail as soon as she opened the front door. The problem is, she’s in denial. Deep down she already knows the truth, but she’s blocking it out, purposely forgetting the details of the scene that might be of proof. She is blinded by her own ambitions for it not to be true. She’d rather her gran kill herself than have been murdered. It’s all right in front of her but she refuses to see it. Make her open her eyes Drew. Make her see what’s right in front of her.”
“I can only try. She can be quite a…hardhead sometimes.” I admit. Her stubbornness made it difficult to persuade her in anything.
“So like you then?” Tamarind grins cheekily at me as she points out the fact.
I brush off the comment, “Why me?”
“Because even I know that she’ll listen to you.” Tamarind says with a mysterious smile before she leaves the kitchen.
Fourie, Tamarind and AJanae’s gran…they all clearly know or knew more than I do or did. They’re all involved some way or another and I am uncertain which of them is for us and which is against us.
I have to keep my guard up, even in front of Tamarind, because I’ve come to learn that the only one you can truly rely on…is yourself.
AJanae’s POV:
Dean makes way for me to enter his house like a gentleman, which was oddly new. Since she left me, Dean’s been acting out of character. I guess I’m not the only one that is not myself. Dean is being extra polite, extra kind and extra helpful. The worst part is that he’s extra protective of me, especially when the new guy, Faze, is concerned. He’s been handling me so delicately as if I am fragile piece of glass ready to shatter.
I guess in a way I kind of am…
As soon as I enter the house Dean follows in and shuts the front door quietly. When I hear movement from the dining room I turn to Dean with raised eyebrows, “I thought your parent’s are out for the night and I didn’t see Mark’s grey Volvo in the driveway.”
Dean gives me a sheepish grin and I just know that he has done something, “So Drew called. Don’t be mad at me.” He says and begins backing up, “He said that he needed to talk to you and that it was urgent so I told him to come over.”
I take in a sharp breath at just hearing his name. I still feel so terrible for keeping him in the dark on my choice to move. I mean I know Dean got over it, in fact Dean was never offended by my decision, but truth be told, Drew can be more soft and sensitive at heart than Dean. I know I hurt him and I don’t blame him for not returning any of my calls or for not attending the funeral. It wasn’t an obligation to him.
I run a hand through my hair as I prepare to see him. I glace at Dean with a reassuring smile, “It’s okay. You did the right thing.”
Dean lets out a wave of breath, “Oh thank the heavens. I was sure I was dead.” He quickly clamps a hand over his mouth as if realizing his mistake, “I mean I was sure I was a goner. No wait. That doesn’t sound any better. I was sure-“
I roll my eyes at him, “It’s okay Dean. You don’t have to handle me with gloves or smother me in cotton wool. I can take it.”
He nods and then motions to the dining room next door, “He’s waiting there. You go on ahead. I am going to find this broken hearted idiot Mark before he ends up killing himself in a car crash . I mean before he ends up-“
“Just go Dean.” I persist, not wanting his sympathy although the thought was appreciated.
Dean noticed my uncomfortable stance as I gaze out toward the dining room, nervous. Dean places both hands on my shoulders and forces me to look at him, “Don’t worry so much, okay? I got this. Let me handle everything. I am going to fix it all. I’ll just find Mark, bring him back here so that he doesn’t do anything stupid and then I’ll come back and rescue you if Drew gets all up in your face again. M’kay?”
I suck in a deep breath and nod, “Okay.” I say and then watch as Dean heads for the door. “Thank you for doing this Dean.” I quickly blurt out before he leaves.
He simply nods and then opens the door before leaving in order to go find Mark wherever the heck he was now. I can’t help but worry about him. Whenever he gets his heart broken, just as I had explained to Dean earlier on, he tends to get involved in messes and I usually have to clean them up.
I would have preferred Dean to stay in order to smooth out the awkwardness, but Mark and his safety was more important than my nerves. I had to be selfless. I refuse to dwell on how wrong this can go any longer. I lift my head high and enter the dining room to find Drew sitting at the table chewing on an apple.
I smile at the sight. He seems so peaceful when he is unaware of his surroundings. He hears me come in and glances up at me. Immediately his laid back form stiffens and tenses on the spot. I am the first to break the silence, “Hey.” I attempt a smile but even to myself it feels more than a little fake. I was trying too hard.
“Hey.” He returns the greeting and immediately jolts up. He pulls out a chair for me and then motions for me to sit down. He tosses the core of his apple in a nearby trash can before sitting down and joining me.
We both sit silently, neither of us knowing what to say first. He taps his fingers nervously against the table while I glance around, hoping for Dean and Mark to walk through the front doors, except they don’t.
Finally I decide to take the initiative if he wasn’t going to.
“I’m sorry.” We both blurt out simultaneously.
“You go first.” We both say at the same time again.
I smile gently at this as does he. I motion for him to continue, the tense atmosphere slightly breaking, “I overreacted. When I heard that you were leaving, I panicked and I took it out on the wrong person. I just wasn’t ready to say goodbye to you.” He confesses as his midnight blue eyes find mine and his confession moves me.
I speak up, “Still. It was wrong of me. I mean I should have taken the liberty to give you an explanation after what happened between us at the…” I trail off and realize what I’d just said. I never mean to bring up the night of prom. We almost kissed and I wasn’t sure where that left us.
Drew waves it off, “It’s forgotten already.” He gives me an uneasy yet steady smile and for some reason my heart falls at his words. I wasn’t certain if that was what I wanted to hear from him. He may have forgotten it but I had yet to accomplish that. Drew, being always observant, notices the sudden shift in my expression, “Unless you don’t want it forgotten?” he says softly as he leans forward over the table from his position opposite me. His eyes search my own for any clue to what I was thinking and feeling.
He catches me off guard. Immediately I break eye contact in fear of him seeing through me. I can’t quite mask my emotions anymore. It all went flying out the window when she died. “I-I you…” I stutter anxiously and then quickly change the subject, feeling exposed and vulnerable, “What did you want to talk to me about so urgently?” I ask, hoping that it wasn’t what we were just discussing.
So this is what it feels like to not have a grip over your feelings? You’re left exposed, vulnerable and transparent. I am not used this. I usually have control and my emotions in check. Now I am like some open book because all control has evaporated into transparent water, leaving me readable.
I hated being readable.
Drew opens his mouth to say something but then quickly shuts it again, as if giving up. Eventually he plucks up the courage to say what it is that he wanted to say, “AJanae, please don’t shut me out. Just tell me how you feel…” he trails off wearily and then cautiously adds “About me.”
I hesitate in answering because I am not quite sure myself what it is that I feel. “Drew I-“
“Look who I found!” Dean marches in and motions to Mark beside him who looks hung over. I knew he’d resort to drinking. He always does.
Forgetting what I was about to say, I stand up and rush to Mark’s side, wrapping a supportive arm around his waist before he topples over. “Where did you find him?” I ask Dean.
“Nearest pub from here. He’s stoned, hung over, wasted…better see to him.” Dean winks, knowing that he just intruded on a part of an important conversation.
“Who the hell is he?” Drew asks, still seated.
Dean smirks and is quick to speak up, “AJanae’s ex-“
“An old friend.” I cut Dean off before he revealed something I hadn’t planned on revealing to Drew. Drew, as always, seems sceptical but nevertheless drops the subject. “I’ll be back.” I tell him as Dean joins Drew at the table.
Mark leans all his body weight on me as I help him walk to the nearest guestroom. I assist him as he flops down onto the bed, exhausted. His normal routine was all too familiar to me. If he’s upset, he drinks, gets stoned, passes out and the next morning he has a huge hangover with lots of vomiting. The joys of looking out for him…
I know it’s going to be a cool night so I take the thick blanket off the guest shelf and lay it over his half asleep form. I take off his sneakers and then turn to leave when his weak grip on my wrist locks me into place, “Wait.” He murmurs.
I close my eyes, knowing I’d regret this. I turn around to face him and open my eyes, “What is it?” I ask gently.
“Why do you always take care of me, even when you don’t love me?” he asks in a groggy voice as he tries to sit up.
I take a seat beside him on the bed, “Because you’re the only one from my childhood that I have left in life. I have known you since the day I was born. It’s my job to take care of you. I’ve lost too many people of the past, you can’t be one of them.” I answer truthfully.
A tender smile braces his features as he rests his head against the headboard, closing his eyes, “You’re compassion for people astounds me. Your kindness leaves me speechless. As wasted as I am, and hopefully I don’t remember saying this by morning, but I never stopped loving you.” He tells me sincerely as he falls back into a rest position. His deep breathing indicates that he’s out for the count.
I smile down at his sleeping form. “Love eventually dies.” I murmur and then get up quietly before closing the door to the room and heading back to the dining room.
Upon nearing the area I can make out Dean and Drew arguing over something quietly amongst each other, “Are you insane? You came all this way to tell her that? Go home Drew. Don’t make this harder for her than it already is.” Dean replies to Drew in a hushed whisper.
“Slate you can deny it all you want, but even you see why I am questioning what happened that day. Something’s off and you know it.” Drew snaps at him, trying to persuade Dean in listening to whatever it is that they are busy discussing behind my back. “You won’t understand because you don’t know anything!”
“That’s because you guys never tell me anything!” Dean raises his tone, clearly annoyed himself. “I am not going to persist in answers when clearly no one has them or is willing to give them.”
“This time I do have the answer.” Drew replies back, his tone suggests confidence.
I decide to make my entrance, “What are you two debating about now?” I ask as I sit down, looking anywhere but at Drew because I remembered our previous discussion.
Dean shoots Drew a look which means not to say anything, however I notice it. “I am just going to come out and say it. Screw laying it down easy.” Drew says, ignoring Dean’s protests, “Tamarind seems to think that there’s more to your Gran’s death.” Drew says as his eyes find mine, seemingly erasing his previous question out of my head.
“Tamarind’s back in town?” I ask, my attention captured and perked at the mention of her name. We had unfinished business. She owed me answers. I can accept the past she had with Drew, though I can’t help but feel slightly envious that she is on speaking terms with Drew whilst we are still uncomfortable around one another. I can’t accept the fact that she may be involved deeper into all of these strings of murder.
Drew scratches the back of his head and breaks eye contact, “Yeah…” He says nervously then adds, “She’s been staying with me.”
“Oh.” I say, my surprise and disappointment being conveyed in my voice. I just can’t mask anything anymore. What is wrong with me?
Dean glances impatiently between the both of us before asking, “Did I miss something?” Drew shakes his head in answer, “Then get on with it.”
Drew proceeds on in his story as told, “I need you to think back AJanae. Think back on the moment you stepped through the front door, the thoughts that followed, the details of the death scene that you noticed but didn’t look further into. Relive the moment and remember everything. Be analytical. Just close your eyes and think back on the moment. You must have noticed something, you must have been enticed by something. Have an open mind and consider the possibilities. Please.”
I sigh and give in, closing my eyes, not exactly sure what the point of this was. I don’t know what he’s trying to imply, but I am complying to keep him happy. “Envision the scene, your home.” I obey as I think back on the exterior of our house as well as the interior. “Now open the doors and walk in.” I take in a sharp breath as I remember it all again. “Tell me what you see.”
I relive the moment and it haunts me. It has scared me. “The first thing I see is the chair rocking as if it had just happened. At the bottom of my chair is my Gran.”
“And what do you do?”
“I run up to her, feel for a pulse, but there’s nothing, no heartbeat, nothing. Her eyes are open, cold and lifeless. I close them. I move away from her, because I don’t want to believe it. I needed to get away from her body-“
“What didn’t you want to believe?” Drew asks.
I breathe in sharply yet again, pained at having to relive it all over again, “That she was gone.”
“Deeper AJanae. What were the small details you took in? Look closer.” Drew persists, not letting this go.
“It would help if I knew what I was searching for.” I state carelessly.
“Something, anything that would point to the obvious. Proof. There has to be proof. You’re just not seeing it because you’re choosing not to see it. Stop blinding yourself to the truth, to what you already know. Now tell me what doesn’t fit the scene in your head, what doesn’t add up. Tell me what looks out of place within the scene.” Drew continues on ranting.
I listen to his words as flashbacks of what happened begin to hit me full force. My heart stops for a millisecond as I open my eyes, unblinking, seeing the truth that has been right before my eyes the entire time. “The cup.” I say all too quickly.
“What about it?” Dean asks.
“If my gran drank it and crashed to the floor, like the position she was found in, then surely the cup would have fallen on its side in the process or at least be cracked or broken. The cup was beside her hand, except it was upright in position and there wasn’t a single mark on it. It’s as if it was placed like that.” I say aloud, confessing and admitting it aloud as it strikes me like it had when I first saw it, except brushed it to the back of my memories as irrelevant.
“That’s good.” Drew nods, “Think back. We need more than that to reopen the case.”
I close my eyes and try to remember and suddenly pictures are coming back naturally now that I was seeking them, “Her thumb nail on the right hand, it was bent over. Her nails were always perfectly manicured. There was no signs of struggle but that bent nail could mean more than we all realize.” I say.
“More.” Drew insists.
“The carpet had been tampered with. The carpet was deepened with the weight of someone and left marks in the carpet. Gran always walked lightly on her feet and no marks were ever left behind.”
“Anything else?”
“There’s a picture of my family hung on the wall. It’s always dead straight because my gran was a perfectionist. When I entered I noticed it was slanted ever so slightly as if touched.” I think back only to come up blank. “That’s all I can recall.”
Dean notices my shock and fear at seeing the truth. He himself seems to be surprised at the revelation. He wraps a comforting arm around me and brings me to his chest, “It’s okay. It’s going to be okay.” He says as he runs his fingers through my hair and tries to calm my trembling body.
I shake my head against his chest, “I should have seen it earlier. I just didn’t want it to be true because it’s my fault that she’s dead.”
“It’s not your fault.” Drew speaks up. “Listen I don’t think any of its enough to reopen the case, but you know the truth now. You have to be careful AJanae. You could be next.”
“Wait a be subtle and gentle dude!” Dean snaps at Drew, annoyed by insensitivity in the moment.
I move off Dean’s chest and sit up straight in my seat, swallowing the paint that comes with knowing the whole truth, “My gran was murdered and I am starting to realize that my mother’s death was no accident either.” As I confess it aloud, it feels as if a heavy weight has been lifted. I had always been suspicion of my mother’s death, but I chose to turn a blind eye to what was there all along.
“Your gran and mother knew a lot more about this than we ever did. I am sure of it.” Drew voices his opinion and I acknowledge it, agreeing. I’d always felt as if they were keeping something from me. It’s no surprise that Dean is beyond confused, though it is a surprise that he doesn’t ask any questions. He remains quiet. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say that he’s maturing or growing up.
“Me too.” I nod. “Thank you Drew for opening my eyes. I intend on finding out more, but I need to do this alone. I don’t want you to be involved more so than you already are. The less you know, the better. Dean is the safest from all of us at the moment.” I stand up and grab the keys to Dean’s car without his permission. “I’ll be back in a couple days. Keep an eye on Mark for me.”
Drew stands up and follows me to the door. I turn and give him a questioning glance as he takes Dean’s keys right out my hand and walks to the car, opening the door for me. He motions for me to get in. “Where we headed?” he asks, his way of telling me that he was coming with whether I approved not, meanwhile Dean had to stay with Mark and I sure hope that the two learnt to get along because I won’t be looking forward to coming home to yet another two bodies.
“Home.” I answer as he puts foot down on the gas pedal and drives into the direction of the place I wish not to enter, but I have too. Gran or Natalie must have left something for me, hidden something for me to find, something to give me answers. I know they’d do that. It was so typical of the Nova family.
“Home it is.” He says, but when I notice him driving in the wrong direction I begin to shake my head.
“You’re going the wrong way.” I tell him.
“But that’s where you used to live.” He says, taking his eyes off the road for a split second, a clear indication that he wasn’t following.
“My home in Wakefield, Little Rock.” I clarify.
He puts foot down on the brakes that I almost go flying out the window. He gives me a ‘are you insane’ look. “That’s at least twelve hours away from here by car, six by plane.”
“You don’t have to come with.” I say, “But you have to let me go.”
Drew shifts in his seat and gives me a glance, seemingly conflicted to make a decision. I turn my gaze off him already knowing that his heart was not set out to go with me, except his answer is not what I am expecting, “Just guide me because I tend to get lost when I don’t know where the hell we’re going.” He says with a smile as he starts up the car again. I look at him in awe, baffled at his decision. “I guess it’s just you, me and a road trip ahead of us.” He says with a lopsided grin, keeping his eyes on the road this time.
I shake my head at him confused as to why he would do this for me, nevertheless I can’t stop the humongous grin that sets my features at his choice. I was dreading going alone for lack of company and protection. “I guess so.” I reply softly, not able to take my eyes off him, still bewildered at his actions. I just have to ask, “Why are you doing this for me?”
He smiles genuinely again as he sneaks a glance at me, his midnight blue eyes suddenly glowing, and then goes back to concentrating on the dark road ahead of us. He never answers and we fall silent at our journey begins. I slowly feel myself drifting off into a slumber as the minutes pass by when I hear his soft voice answering my question, “Because if it isn’t obvious enough, I care about you more than I’d like to admit.”
I’d answer if I hadn’t already fallen asleep with a small smile lacing my lips.
Fourie’s POV:
I take in a deep breath before my knuckles meet the door as I knock. It’s not long after before a man answers the door, “Hello. Can I help you?” he asks.
I glance behind him but I don’t spot her around, “Does Libby Falcon still live here?”
Recognition splashes across his features, “Oh yes, except she goes by Libby Montgomery as of recently. She’s my wife.”
“Wife?” I question, unbelieving.
He nods, “I’m sorry, do you know her or something?”
“Use too.” I murmur, hurt by the new revelation. She got married without bothering to invite me to the wedding. I always had hope that my parents would get back together. I always knew the hope was in vain, but I couldn’t help myself from the dream.
Is it so wrong to want a normal happy family and not some dysfunctional one?
“Would you like to come in? Libby’s out in the back watching wrestling on the telly.” He says and I notice the slight British accent to his American one. I nod and he moves out of my way as I enter the familiar home. “So you’re an old friend of Libby’s? You seem a little young.”
“Not really.” I mumble, losing my patience with his incessant nosiness.
“Matthias! You’re missing John Cena!” I hear the voice of the one who gave birth to me but did not raise me.
The replacement of my father seems embarrassed that my mother is calling out to him like a wild hooligan. Guess she hasn’t stopped her party drunkenness ways. She’s the reason I don’t drink. I never want to be anything like her. Unfortunately I am a lot worse than most people. I’ve done things that will never leave me or go away no matter how hard I try to leave it behind.
“Come with me.” He says and then calls out to his newly wed wife, “Libs we have a guest who’s here to see you.”
I flinch at the use of the nickname he calls her, the nickname Mitch had first given her. I feel sick, nauseous at the sight of him, this replacement.
“We do?! I love guests. Hold you horses, I’m coming!” she shouts back and it’s not long before I hear her footsteps trailing down the hall and into the living room where I am currently standing.
Nerves of what to say begin to rack my brain. It’s been years since we last spoke to each other. She cut me off her life as I did her. To say this was about to get awkward would be an understatement.
I watch frantically as I see Libby’s shadow before seeing her. When her face meets my view I notice the wrinkles around her eyes, how she’s aged more over the years. Her black hair is a disarray and her brown eyes are dull and no longer vibrant like they once were. There is something off about her.
Her brown eyes move off of Matthias and meet mine. Her mouth falls agape as the wine bottle in her hand goes crashing to the floor. I watch as her hands begin to shake, most likely as if in shock. “Fourie?” she stutters as she takes a hesitant step backwards, away from me.
Matthias senses the tense atmosphere as the red wine stains our white carpet scarlet. He goes to Libby and steps in front of her protectively, “I’m sorry Libby. He said he use to know you. He wanted to see you.” He then turns to me with a fuming stare, “Who the hell are you? Why is my wife reacting like this? Who are you to her?”
I prepare to give him the truth, “I am her s-“
“Acquaintance.” Libby cuts me off and breaks eye contact as if ashamed to look at me because of her denying the fact that I’m her son, her own flesh and blood. Luckily I am use to this from both sides of the family. I’ve learnt not to have high expectations or raise any bars. “He’s my acquaintance. Matthias can you please give us a second in private?” she asks lovingly, a tone that she’d once used with Mitch.
Matthias nods and leave the room.
I watch her squirm on the spot as she fidgets uncomfortably, still ashamed and she should be. Fortunately I am not here to reunite with my mother or experience the full force of ‘mother-son’ bonding. I came here for much more superior reasons. I decide to put her out her agony, “Hello mother.”
She keeps her eyes focused on the floor, “What are you doing all the way up here in New York?”
“Don’t worry. I’m not here to expose you to your new husband. Hope the cake was good.” I say with a sad smile as I refer to the wedding cake and she knows it.
“Fourie…” she trails off, not able to come up with an excuse.
“Save it. The least you could have done was mention to Matthias that I exist, that you have a son, but then again I am not so sure you do.” I say, hurt and angry at the same time, “But that’s not why I’ve come. I’ll get straight to the point. I need a place to crash for a year or so. We both know you don’t want me here. You made that much obvious. All I need from you is to allow me access to my trust fund. I know I have to be eighteen to access it, but if you don’t want me here as much as I believe you don’t, then you’ll make a way.” I say, wanting her to realize that today was the day I’d be eighteen, but she never does. I head for the door, but something shiny catches my eye, “Oh and I’m taking the Lamborghini.” I say and grab the keys as I head out, slamming the door shut behind me.
When my parents’ divorced, my mom landed up with everything and my dad landed up with nothing. Suffice to say, I’ll be taking advantage from her underserved riches form here on out.
I ride into the night hoping to find some dark alleyway to sleep. I put my foot slightly down on the accelerator as thoughts and anger fill my mind. My own mother could care less to what happens to me. She couldn’t even tell him the truth. She couldn’t tell him that I was her son because she was ashamed of me and to some extent I got that. This time I put my foot entirely down on the accelerator, watching the empty highway fly pass as my brooding thoughts linger.
My focus shifts from the road when I hear my phone ringing. I glance down to find the caller I.D. belonging to Trish. I frown because that was impossible. Trish hadn’t called in years and with good reason. She died in a car accident.
I answer the phone whilst still controlling the car, not expecting the car lights to reveal Trish herself standing in the very centre of the road with a phone pressed against her ear. I slam on breaks in a panic. I try to swerve the car so that I miss her, but instead the car flips upside down on impact and begins to roll, just missing her.
The car finally comes to a halt when it hits a light pole and rebounds. I make an attempt to move, but when I can’t feel anything I realize that I’m injured severally. I groan as the blood drips slowly down my face. I glance to my side only for heels to come into view and I realize that the car and I are both upside down.
This was never part of our grand plan.
I can feel the car’s weight crushing me in and I know that it’s only a matter of seconds before the fuel tank bursts and this car erupts into flames. Just when I accept my fate, the person in heels grabs my right arm and drags me carefully out the window or what was left of the window of the car.
She helps me stand up, though I am certain I’m bleeding out just about everywhere because I can feel the shafts of glass entering my flesh. She lifts my face to hers, “Fourie.” She says and immediately I lift my eyes to her in recognition, no matter how painful it was.
“You’re alive.” I state and fall into her arms with a lazy smile as my legs give in.
“Well not exactly. I wouldn’t necessary call myself ‘alive’, but then again you already knew that, didn’t you?” she says blatantly and surprises me with the revelation that she knew as much as I did.
I pull back, “You’re one of them.”
She gives a condescending smile in response, giving me the answer. “And now you’ll be too and we can be together for all eternity, just like I planned.”
I begin to shake my head, realizing what she meant, “Trish no. I am following my own plans and by turning me you’ll mess it all up. Don’t do this.”
“It’s in fact the only option Fourie. Just look at you.” She motions down to me and when I follow her gaze I see her point. There is a large shard of glass wedged deeply into my chest just above my heart. “It has to come out eventually, but if so you’ll bleed out and die. Then to hell with your plans.”
I open my mouth to protest when a loud explosion from my right silences me. I turn just in time to see the red car burst into flames and if I had still been in there I would suffer the same fate as the car. Rubble and debris flies left right and centre as I watch intently as the crackle of the fire eats up the car, never dying.
Suddenly I hear ambulance in the background as I lose all remaining strength and adrenalin, falling face down onto the hot tar heated from the explosion. Trish sprints over to my side as my heart begins to slow. I faintly hear her say something when I am roughly flipped over onto my back and see that she has others, that she was never alone, well neither am I.
One of her helpers holds me still in place as Trish bites her wrist, revealing her fangs. I struggle when I realize what she’s about to do, but I’m dying and there’s not much I can do against a team of vampires. “No Trish.” I say weakly, “If I die, let me die the right way.” I breathe in sharply and hoarsely, trying to convince her to do otherwise and willing for those on my side to realize that something was wrong. I had a team of backup, but they weren’t in New York. There was always a plan. I always had a plan no matter what, but now it’s being rewritten.
I am forced to watch the blood flow from her wrist as she forces her wrist into my mouth. I try fight them. They were screwing up the plans I had been mastering for months. I fight and fight until Trish gives up and finally my arms fall limply at my side as my struggle stops against my own will. My vision caves and I know that I only have a few seconds left to live. “Hurry up Trish! The ambulance are around the corner and he’s almost dead!” one of her help yells fearfully.
That’s when Trish kicks back into action and forces the blood, her blood, to enter. I am forced to swallow her blood as it enters my immune system. “He’ll be in transition when he wakes up again. Now get him out of here! The world needs to believe that Fourie Falcon is dead.”
I summon up all the strength I can as I ask. “Who is making you do this?”
She glances scornfully, not giving an answer and the malicious glint to her eyes will never leave my memories as it has now been engraved there as a nightmare.
Instead she shakes her head at me with unremorseful eyes. Her fingers curl around the fragment of glass stuck in my chest. She leans in forward before suddenly yanking it out violently, “Happy Birthday Fourie.” She whispers in my ear as she and I both watch the blood spilling out of my chest at an uncontrollable rate.
As I lay beneath the smashed light post under the light of only the moon and stars, those are the last words I have to hear before I take my final breath.
*~*
Hey all=))
I wasn't planning on updating today, but I found myself with free time so I spent it all on writing. I know there must be a lot of questions after this chapter's ending and believe me it all will be explained. Just be patient.
Once again thank you for the support despite the slow updates. It means the world to me.
~Until next time...