• song : blow me one last kiss // glee version •
✴
"Snow, wait."
"I think you have a class to get to."
"Snow c'mon, look at me."
"Thanks but I think I'll pass on that opportunity."
"Would you stop being an anorak for a second and talk to me?!" she yells exasperated, attracting curious looks as she follows me upstairs.
"No. You should go and talk to somebody who cares."
"But you don't even know what I'm going to say! So how can you judge me without listening to me first?" she asks pleadingly, piercing my heart once again.
Slowly, so she doesn't think I actually care, I turn back and look down at her, keeping the composed mask on.
"I know exactly what you're going to say. You never meant to hurt me and it was alcohol making you do things you wouldn't normally do.
You don't feel the same but you still want us to be friends because you care about me, just in a different way. One day I might find someone who'll like me as I like you now.
You're truly sorry for smashing my heart into million pieces but it was never your intention, Ren," I angrily get it out of my system, frowning at every sincere sentence that was supposed to make me feel better.
She's staring at me in shock, with parted lips and widened pupils.
"I-I-"
"Spare me," I roll my eyes and hurry to Geography, barely making it before the bell.
During the class I completely focus on what the teach's saying which is hard considering I'm not a patient person. He goes on and on about the economy and political organisation in Europe, pointing at various pictures on his PowerPoint and not noticing that the half of his class is already asleep.
There's a poke in my back and when I turn in my chair I come face to face with a curly-haired girl who's sporting a smile as big as Cheshire cat's, complete with a pair of big blue eyes which look like they might pop if she widens 'em any more.
"Yeah?"
"Is it true that you and Renée Victor got into a fight over a guy?"
I scowl unpleasantly and she averts her eyes, her cheeks burning scarlet which is totes adorbs but not the thing I have to distract myself with right now.
"We most certainly didn't. Who did you hear that from?"
"Um well there's this site-"
"Ugh here too?" I groan, remembering the cafeteria fight incident back in Pennsylvania.
"Yeah so it's called HNAS, as in 'Hot New Academy Scoops', and its main editor is Caryn Hackford, the blonde who's besties with Bethany Fairfax. Well last night there was this post that said you and she got into a fight over some hot bloke at the party and that she got him which made you furious and you ran away. So I take it's not true?" she asks with a pout, obviously looking forward to a good gossip. Well she's up for some disappointment.
" 'Course it isn't," I respond quickly and turn back to stare at the blackboard and count down minutes until it's over and I can happily dig into my lunch. There's only one thing I'm going to do before letting myself go crazy 'bout food.
Tell Ari about this.
✴
"I can't believe it."
"I know that's why I w-"
"Who'd pay a pound to be a part of this shit excuse for a website named Hot Scoops?" she stares at my phone with her face twisted in confusion, the logical part of her brain stuck.
"It's actually Hot New A-"
"Don't even think 'bout it," she warns me, growling coming from somewhere deep in her throat. "My question is how this Caryn whore looks like? There are too many blonde heads in here," she mutters, searching for certain someone over the crowd of hungry mammals.
She waves at Becca who's standing on the end of a blocked hallway, and enters the room, avoiding other tables with the swiftness worth a ninja. I follow her as she steps in the line for food.
"Big puckered lips. Always sticks to her general who has boobs like Jessica Simpson. Nasal voice," I count on my fingers, grabbing a mayonnaise tube and squeezing it on the salad I took. Ari eyes it with a raised eyebrow and turns to the rice bowl, scooping a big spoon.
Upon seeing my blanks face she shrugs, perching the aviators on top of her brown locks.
"I'm growing and need strength if I want to survive this day. You seen Belle 'round? Bet she's still mad at us for not picking her up."
"She'll come 'round as soon as she gets bored of talking to herself," I reply, my nostrils occupied with the smell of my meal as we place our plates on the table.
"Right, so this Cara shouldn't be too hard to spot. I'll be back in a sec. I just have to visit the Snobs table," she announces innocently, purposefully mispelling Caryn's name, and walks past dumbfounded Becca who takes a seat across me.
"She's sorry, y'know? It's not easy for her either, even if she's hopeless in showing it," she says reffering to Ren, inspecting the beans in her sauce in the way someone would inspect a sample under a microscope.
Huh, so immediately at the problem, are we? Mind you, it's best I stay quiet or else my mouth will let out something unplanned.
I stay quiet and munch on my humble lunch, glancing at Ari to see her standing in front of the snobs with her tough attitude I got used to back at home.
Becca follows my look and almost chokes on her beans, taking a big gulp of Pepsi and emptying the can right in front of my eyes.
"What the hell is she doing? Tryin' to commit social suicide?!"
"Just having a talk with Caryn Hackford about HNAS, that's all," I shrug unaffected, watching the exchange and keeping an eye out for Ren. If she shows up I'm going for that whole 'one with the background'.
"No no no. This is bad. Listen, her daddy is a person with connections and she's his spoiled little princess. If anyone dares to get in her way she rings him and next moment you have a stain in your record or you're expelled for harassing her. Trust me, bad idea," she talks frantically, torn between dragging Ari out of there and finishing her lunch. I curiously avert my eyes from Ari to her.
"Happened to you?"
"Yeah, I accused her of bribing the male teach and she sent Frost the picture of me smoking in a loo in my elementary. No idea how she got it," she concludes half-heartedly, picking up her phone when it starts to ring on 'Catcher in the Rye' from GNR.
Annoyance crosses her features as soon as she sees the ID but still picks up.
"Oi where are you?"
Becca furrows her eyebrows, clearly lost as the person on the other side of the line talks. She opens her mouth a few times only to close them immediately. Looks to me that the girl sure knows how to drag a conversation.
"For fuck's sake what were ya thinking?!"
I quirk an eyebrow at her but she doesn't notice it, rubbing her temples in large circles. There's a moment of silence as she waits for the person to answer.
"I don't care that your personal life is shit! Damn mine's too but at least I don't-" here she lowers her voice to a whisper, "at least I don't go 'round and pretend I'm something else. Look if you've got issues then deal with them how the Lord commands or don't at all. Sorry, can't talk. My bean salad's not gonna eat itself," she snaps coldly and hangs up, harshly stabbing the green leaves with her fork.
I carefully choose my next words although I'm guessing whose ID it was.
"So, who you got mad at this time?"
She mutters something under her breath before meeting my eyes with her determined ones.
"She can be sucha pain in the ass y'know? I'm always saving her from sticky situations like sleeping 'round with random guys on ev'ry damn party and smuggling her out of the toilet before anyone notices it stinks of fags. And she's just - she can't accept that maybe sometimes ev'rything doesn't revolve 'round her!"
"You're talking 'bout Ren, aren't you?" I ask nonchalantly trying not to sound hurt or God forbid, longing, which is exactly how I'm feeling inside.
"Damn right I am. I know she has a bitch for a mother and that these things are her escape. But, wouldn't it be so much easier to restrain herself before she comes to a complete destruction?" she furiously runs a hand through her hair, letting it fall down her back in messy knots.
Becca didn't exactly strike me as a person who gives two fucks for others' opinion. Maybe that's why she and Ari are the perfect duo. Much like she and Ren.
"That's the problem with her. That and the fact she just can't admit something. And sucks in apologies," I add, caught off guard when her lips quirk up in a sad smile.
"Once she 'accidentally' tore one of my plush animals and when I told her to apologise her excuse was that it was already hanging on a thin strand."
"That sure sounds like her."
She nods slowly, lost in some thoughts and her bean salad that she still didn't finish. If I was her that salad would've been gone two minutes after placing it on the table.
Belle is always saying food's here to enjoy in which is completely ridiculous. I can enjoy it when I'm eating fast, too.
"I wish I know how to-"
But I never got to know what was it that Becca wished to know because in that moment a loud metal sound echoed through the cafeteria, the chatter dying in a second.
The two of us turn, and yep, the noise came from the centre table right where Ari is standing.
The blonde is on her feet, the red in her face clearly visible even from here. I'm pretty convinced Ari triggered her with one of her brutal comebacks.
"Chill Puckered Lips. People aren't interested so stop tryin' to get their attention. 'Spathetic," she does her best impression of Southern accent, something between a scowl and a smirk playing on her lips.
This is how Ari looks when she's in her element. Except when she dances to a song on the jukebox. Now that's something to watch. I swear she gets more looks than Belle does with all her flirting.
Caryn groans, bailing her hands in fists. Oh, somebody needs anger managment classes.
"Do you know who I am crackpot?! I'm Caryn Hackford!"
Ari snorts in amusement, drawing the rest of the eyes. I glance around and spot Sheridan's gang dying out of laughter, their faces red 'cause they're keeping it silent. Testosterone.
"Do you know who I am Puckered Lips? Ma name's Ari Matthews and my ears are fucking bleeding from your nasal voice. Have you ever thought of going to a sinus surgery? You sure as hell need it," she replies unaffected while the rest of her table gasps, secretly enjoying in this display. Too bad Ari didn't go against Bethany but she's not here today. Spa day, according to HNAS.
"You completely lost the plot! I have no intention of listening to tash of someone who clearly doesn't know when to shut her lousy mouth!" she screams on top of her lungs, the lunch ladies slowly disappearing in the kitchen.
Ari only laughs humorlessly.
"Babe, the only mouth that need to be shut is yours. So why dontcha call your daddy and kick me out already? I'm starting to feel nauseous from the gallons of perfume you put on," she snickers, waving in front of Caryn's face wildly and making people laugh at her good humor.
She really needs to stop faking the street talk. Ari tends to act like a street kid when she has others' attention and it sometimes gets cringy.
Caryn's face goes from red to purple in a second.
"I think you should've thought about coming at me before I've told anyone you're just a bloody slag! It's time for anyone to know that Barnes isn't the only one who got the special treatment. You really are a sucker for the older ones, aren't you?" she sneers, getting in my sister's face.
The whole cafeteria waits for Ari to deny or fly out of here humiliated. I see heads coming closer and whispers breaking out. Becca shoots me the look that says 'Told ya'. But Ari doesn't crack under the pressure.
Nah. She's too proud for that.
If there's anything I learnt from her it's that you shouldn't be ashamed of who you are. You need to keep your chin high and not let others bring you down with lies.
Actually, maybe there's something from Belle too. They tend to get equally passionate about the lessons they think are important.
"Sweetie, I'm gonna say this only once. Get out of my face before I punch you so hard that the sinuses would be only a minor problem," she threatens loud enough for ev'ryone to hear the restrained anger behind her words.
Caryn laughs bitterly, pouting and poking Ari's forehead, her minions exchanging worried looks 'cause even they noticed my sister's not the one to kid with.
"I don't think so."
In a flash, Ari's fist connects with Caryn's face, knocking her off her feet and causing her to collide with the floor. She screams between withdrawn gasps when she notices her nose bleeding at a weird angle.
With murderous look she gets on her feet and tries to attack her but Ari ducks and extends her leg for her to trip over it, whistling innocently and averting her gaze.
Caryn stands up embarrassed, dusting her skirt off in swift movements.
"This was your last day here American! When my father finishes with you he'll dump you to public school with the rest of the scum!" she yells in even more nasal voice if possible, covering her nose which is bleeding like crazy. The rest of the girls follow her outside, shielding her from smug looks.
Unfazed, Ari barks in laughter, clutching her sides and gasping for breath. Alix appears by her side pushing her out and Becca pulls me up, running after them. When we reach them the speakers in the top corners crack, a loud and angry female voice yelling.
"ARI MATTHEWS! MY OFFICE! NOW!"
She seems completely oblivious to this because she just starts laughing louder, Becca slapping her cheeks helplessly.
"Chica, you should go to Frost's office before she gets a hold of you herself," she advices, glaring suspiciously at Alix who gives her an exasperated face.
"What? I'm being genuine here."
"You realise why it's hard for me to believe it. Ari, just go already. Don't make me push you," she groans, urging her to finally move upstairs. She reluctantly gives in, chuckling to herself in mirth.
Becca shakes her head, rubbing her temples fiercely. She bites her lip in thinking, her eyes darting from the front gates to Humanities corridor. She seems to decide on her next move 'cause she points her thumb in the direction of the gates.
"I need a fag."
"Been waiting for you to say that. We have Moss next period," he pipes in, putting on his aviators. It's pretty amusing that he and Ari are the same in some things.
They wave at me lazily, skipping downstairs while talking in hushed voices, starting a fight before they even left the building.
Slowly walking to the classroom I plug in my earphones, emo sounds filling my ears as I bob my head to it.
✴
"Snow."
I sigh annoyed, continuing to walk to my locker. There's only one period left and I really have no more energy for explaining her I need some space first.
"Just leave me alone Ren. Seriously, not today."
"I'm not giving up okay? You're avoiding me the whole day and you still didn't hear what-"
"Cause I don't want to!" I turn abruptly, shouting at the top of my lungs and forcing her to take a step backwards in surprise. "I don't want to hear you say the two of us could never be- "
She grabs me for the collar of my shirt so the two of us are basically nose to nose. The muffled whispers break all around us and I become aware of people staring at us, shocked for some reason.
My mind swims in her intoxicating perfume, the fire in her eyes warming me up like the best fireplace in the world. The electricity behind is practically seenable, making me wonder if this is what I think it is.
"R-Ren," I blurt out taken aback, starig at her beautiful eyes with my widened ones, probably looking like a deer caught in the headlights.
It's all hormones going crazy inside me. My face is probably red too due to her irresistible charm. I simply cannot get away from her even though she hurt me. I realise it now. No matter how angry I am at her I'll still melt like a pudding when she fixes me with her eyes.
"Would you stop talking for a second?" she whispers, glancing at my lips. I immediately swallow what I meant to say, and hold my breath anxiously.
Slowly, as to test the terrain, she brushes her lips against mine, giving me a mini heart attack right there. By this point people are already snapping the photos and recording, finding it somewhat breaking news. I'm sure that by tonight we'll be the main scoop on HNAS.
Unable to restrain myself anymore I close any left distance between us, feeling like I might explode every second. Goosebumps travel down my arms in waves, right to the tips of my toes.
It'a pure bliss to be able to kiss Ren and feel her soft lips on my own, moving in sync like they waited for this their whole life. It's something I will remember forever, something more lasting than a photo.
Her hands hug my neck lazily and rest there, the thing I don't have a problem with at all.
When we finally break to gasp for the air (and mind you, we managed to last pretty long), she smiles at me so brightly I might need UV glasses.
"That's what I've been trying to tell you since this morning, doofus. I like you too," she concludes happily, my heart skipping a beat upon hearing her say it like it's the most common thing to say.
I pull her in for another kiss, giggling as she warns me we have a class to get to.
As soon as the door behind Rowe close and he turns to the board, I glance back at Ren to see her watching me like I saved her with my magic carpet or something.
I wink at her and she laughs quietly, the sound skyrocketing my ego. I get so distracted that I don't notice that Rowe isn't talking anymore.
I turn in my chair and almost get a mini heart attack when I come face to face wih his furrowed eyebrows and bald head.
This really needs to stop happening to me.
"Miss Matthews. I see you find my class boring. Perhaps you were too busy mouthing some unimportant gossip to Miss Victor," he narrows his eyes at me threatengly, and because of it I get he feeling I'm questioned under the polygraph.
His huge eyes are like lie sensors, they immediately know when someone's covering up their asses.
"Erm not exactly sir. I was just looking at the girl I like and yes, that is Ren you guessed it right," I say, hoping to get on his good side by saying he was right. Instead, his eyes buldge out of his sockets and the whole class sucks in breath. What? I haven't insulted him now have I?
I watch in fear ( and amazement) how his face turns red and then purple, his nostrils widening. Something inside me realized I'm currently on very thin ice.
"Miss Matthews-" he starts, speaking through gritted teeth, "I believe that the rules of this Academy are clear. 'Every inappropriate relationship or public display of such will result in both students getting expelled by the end of the day and their families informed.'
My question is then: how did you call Miss Victor again?" he asks dangerously, making me do a double take in my head.
I simply couldn't believe it. I know this is some elite private school but still - they are forbidding, how he called it, 'inappropriate relationships', and expelling students because of it?
Because they like the same sex? Becaude they dared to 'publicly display it'? That's bullshit.
Slowly standing up on my feet I look him dead in the eye without shame, feeling a frown appearing on my face.
"I beg your pardon sir but, how dare you? How dare you call me over for calling Ren the girl I like? It's none of your business who my love interest is, and I certainly don't like you calling our relationship inappropriate to fit your own beliefs! You're my teacher, not my parent, and not even she dares to say who I can or can't like. Just because you're a homophob doesn't mean you publicly have to show that!"
I wait for him to yell back at me and add more fuel to the fire. Come at me you bastard! Come at me and let me show you what I've got!
But he just...stares at me, his mouth slightly open and irises widened, like he can't believe I yelled at him that openly. My, I think the guy's in shock.
Pulling away slightly, he stammers toward his desk, shaking his head in the process and murmuring under his breath.
"Miss Matthews, I think it's best for you to leave my classroom immediately and report to the principal."
Oh I will old grandpa. I will report to her that some old bloke is a homophob and stuffs his nose where it doesn't belong.
"I think so to, sir," I emphasize the last word with a smirk and rush out of there, stomping my way to the principal's office. How awesome. My first visit to the principal's office and it isn't even 'cause I praked someone or started a food fight in the cafeteria.
Looking at the bright side, I might find Ari there, being amusing and torturing the poor woman with her stubborn behaviour.
Knocking on the door I enter, looking around in search for someone else except the old desk table with a computer
"Hullo? Anyone here?" I ask and try the doorknob of the principal's office.
Locked.
Great. I'm sent in here and there's no one to actually check if I was ever here in the first place.
I'm about to leave the room and buy some snack from the vending machine when a small telephone booth in the corner of the room catched my attention. Who the hell puts a telephone booth in his office?
And then I read the sign. And a brilliant idea comes to my mind.
No, seriously, it's genious. This is just what I needed after that failed fight with the old homophob.
Rubbing my hands excitedly, I open the door of the telephone booth and close them, feeling my lips stretch in a grin worth Cheshire cat.
✴
REN
I was dying in here. It was dull and monotone without Snow who'd turn to me every two minutes and make a grimace or throw me a message bal, demanding I tell her my favourite cartoon character. I missed her presence even more now, since we already kissed.
The kiss.
Dear Lord help me but I loved it.
Every second was pure perfection, bliss and emotions. Honestly, she looked as she might die at the spot, that's how shocked she looked. She was adorable as hell, with that dumb face casted with shock. I don't think she ever imagined me taking the first step, for she really tried to capture my attention, from the first day.
And I pushed her away because, well, because I ignored what I felt and told myself it's my mind playing tricks on me. I just didn't want to admit the fact I feel something for diffetent sex.
Part of it, of course, goes to my mother, only the biggest homophob in Liverpool besides Rowe. Gosh, that old douche really gets on my nerves, with his medieval beliefs. I just hope Frost won't send Snow away. However liberal England may seem, there are still places like Daggart whose ancient methods are crucial.
There's no freedom for us. We have to wear uniforms and our love life must be simply straight, none of it can be displayed inside, of course. So it's pretty hard to stay sane and pretend you're happy with such atmosphere. 'Smatter of fact, that's the reason my beloved mother chose this place.
Suddenly the speakers crack in the corners and we all exchange confused looks. Those speakers are used only when the principal has news that concern whole school, like competitions and expulsions.
Rowe hisses at us to calm down and shush before he starts to examinate. Ah, how cute it is that he thinks he can scare us with his little threaths? Bunch of nonsense, that's what I say.
And then something unbeliavable happens.
Music pours from the speakers, rock breaking sleepy haze over us, waking us up and raising a wave of bewildered chatter. I might as well mention the song is Queen's I Want To Break Free.
I laugh loudly upon seeing Rowe's face, which, if I may say looks like when Snow accused him of being a homophob. The others soon join in and that's when he snaps, running out of the classroom with purple face.
I gleefully stand up, jumping on my chair and singing along the words from the speakers. My classmates stare at me, in the same time fascinated and uneasy, but I pay them no mind.
This is why I like Snow. She's so spontaneous, and yet she always knows the right thing to say. Not to mention her brain is a wonder.
The music starts to die and she speaks up, her voice vibrant from energy. I smirk to myself, finding it odd how I know she also danced, just from hearing her ragged breath.
"HI THERE EV'RYONE! OW, SORRY. There, that's better. Anyway! I hope I woke you up with my little treat and that your hips were busy.
Why did I do it, you may ask yourselves. Nope, not 'cause I have nothing else to do. Alright, that one was a lie. I can spend time with Ren and enjoy my classes without constant threat of doing a wrong move."
Every single head snaps to look at me, and I ignore their persistent eyes, although I'd gladly shy from them and allow my blush to spread across my cheeks. Thank Lord I learnt how to manage it in most uncomfortable situations.
"See, that's what the point of this is. I know some of you're feeling as if you can't show your true colours to others without being judged. And I know you're trying to ignore the fact that you're simply not straight. It's a tough fact to face and even I needed years to achieve it. That I can thank my amazing sisters who never saw anything strange about me liking both guys and girls.
Unfortunately, as I discovered a few minutes ago by myself, not only does this private school tolearate our sexuality, but it tries to change it. For example, our very own homophob, Mr. Rowe, kidnly reminded me of something that stands in the Daggart rules. It says that, and I quote, 'innapropriate relationship will be met with consequences'.
Well I say let 'em see it, I say! Why'd we hide love, the feelings we have towards any person? No one can tell us what to feel or who to love! Even if it means getting kicked out of this facility, I won't not give up on the person I like just because a bunch of old jerks is too conservative to realise their opinion doesn't matter.
Show 'em what you've got! Display love! Break the rules! Be a rebel like my sister Ari! Snow out."
I swear, once the silence passess it's the biggest uprising this school had ever seen. Chairs flip, door open one by one, the sound of footsteps echoing down the hall. In a single second the classroom is empty. And the one next to her. And the one across.
All my classmates went out to show Snow their support. That girl managed to move them with a single speech, and yes, she managed to make me cry. Not that I'd tell her that. Not in a million years.
Following after them I open the front doors of school to find her grining broadly, carried by a large mass of students who chant her name. Around them are teachers who try to gather the classes but they ignore them.
That's when Snow spots me.
"Put me down pepz, I have a lady to get to," she urges them and they slowly lower her to the ground.
My heart pounds loudly in my chest as she comes closer but I don't give her the satisfaction to see it. It's better this way or else I'd be hearing 'bout it non-stop, 24/7.
"Hello my lovely girlfriend," she greets me sweetly before propping on her tippy toes and kissing me straight on the lips, much to adults' horror.
"Oh so we're a thing already? I don't remember you asking me out," I tap my chin in deep thoughts, pretending I don't see her half-opened mouth and wide eyes.
"That can be arranged," she nods more to herself than to me and kneels, loud 'ooh's coming from the crowd. They gather 'round and I don't shoosh them away like I would in the past. I'm solemnly focused on a girl wih bubblegum pink hair that's about to ask me out. First person to do that, to be exact.
"Glorious Renée, would you do me an honor and go out with me?" she asks so pompously I have to laugh.
"Sure, as long as you don't take me to some fancy resto," I shrug, watching her place a palm over her heart, horrified by the thought.
"Cross my heart and hope to die."
I pull her up and she links her elbow with mine, planning to go back to school when a voice in the back stops her, us.
"Miss Matthews, my office. Again. Miss Victor, class. Now," principal Frost appears in front of us, a guarded expression on her face.
Snow gives me a big thumbs up before disappearing after Frost but I get the feeling that this time it's not going to go smoothly.
✴
Hi, hullo!
Firstly, I'm so incredibly SORRY :(
This was a tough month, from our trip to London where WiFi was shit, to my writer block that seemed to grow as the exams approached.
I hope this 5000+ words are some apology cuz I was really stressed out, and couldn't find the time to finish this chapter. I'd always promise myself, yeah I'll do it this weekend, maybe the next one, no, one after that and so on.
Secondly, I hope you're still with me, this story and that you didn't give up just yet.
Please drop a vote / COMMENT if you liked the chapter, thanks!
T✌