Perfect

*February*

Wednesday, February 10th, 2010. 

February used to be my favorite month, since this week is the last week before break and it is also the month of love, but this month, love isn't enough to put a smile on my face, and since I have no one to spend the special holiday of Valentines Day with. I guess this year it would just be and Landra together at the Valentines Day dance that we were planning. 

Today the planning committee was getting ready to make the finishing designs on the party, but today wasn't the most fun day. Nobody really showed up, only me and Landra. "Wait, so what's the fashion show stage for?" 

"It's how you get in. You walk on it when you enter the gym." 

"Oh wow." She said. "Well what do you need me to do?" 

"Right now, add some more ideas to this drawing." I said as my phone vibrated in my pocket indicating a bbm from Richie.

Richie x33: Hey babe, IMY, what are you doing? 

Me: Nothing, planning my school dances party, nd ii miss you too. 

Richie x33: Oh when is it? 

Me: Friday, why are you coming? 

Richie x33: Yeah, I'm coming up there 2morro. I'm staying with my Aunt for the weekend. 

Me: Oh. 

Richie x33: Yepp, where is it gonna be.  

Me: At A.O. Wilson High. I typed him as a bright ass smile wiped across my face. "What happed?" Landra asked. 

"Richie is coming up." 

"Oh is Kyle coming?" 

"I don't know. I'll ask him." 

Me: Is Kyle coming, Landra wanted to know. 

Richie x33: Yeah, he wants to meet her in person.  

Me: She wants to meet him too. But I'll call you later or something, byee babee . x333 

Richie x33: bye. (. "So..." Landra said with her wide dark brown eyes looking at me. 

"He's coming." I said as she screamed yay and went back to what she was doing as Mel and Chris walked in the room. 

"What's up with her?" 

"Richie and Kyle are coming up." 

"Oh. I get to meet this infamous Richie." 

"Yeah." I said sadly. 

"What's wrong with you?" 

"This whole Dawson thing is just bothering me." I said as she signaled Chris to walk away. 

"Dang you must really love him." 

"I do, but its like how can I love you if I don't trust you. We've been friends since he first came here, but I'm tired of him breaking me up with all my boyfriends." 

"Yeah, but he means good." 

"I know, but I want to forgive him but when I want to I look at him and I get angry again and just walk passed him." 

"So maybe you should just find away to talk to him without looking at him." 

"Are you suggesting I call him." 

"Yeah, but look, if you really love him, you would do it for him. You gave him a place to stay or feel safe around this school, and now he's lost." 

"But he has other friends." 

"No, he never did, gay at this school is like the only color in a black and white picture, and he's lost, and right now has no shelter without you." 

"Ugh. I hate when my friends are right." 

"Ha-ha, I love you too." she said as she walked away to our crazy friend and I just sat there thinking about the passed month.

Friday, February 12th, 2010. 

I never thought that this day would come this fast. I was so excited but scared at the same time. This was the first day that I was going to see Richie since I came back home last month.  

So when I came home from school I took a quick nap and woke up and went in the shower. I turned on the hot water and let it hit my temples and then wet my hair and stayed in for an extra few minutes just erasing every bad memory in the last months and then I got out the shower and watched as the steam in the bathroom started to fade and I walked in my room. 

I went in my closet and got my outfit that I was wearing to the party and walked over to my vanity table and straitened my band and left the rest curly and then when I was just about to put on my make up, I caught a quick glimpse at myself, I had my father's light brown skin color, my mothers almond shaped hazel eyes, my fathers nose, and his light brown lips. And I just smiled. I was really pretty so I decided that I would go natural. 

Then I walked over to my bed and put on my In Bloom Belted Dress that I got from Twelve by Twelve, and my metallic silver flats. I put on my black and silver accessories and sprayed on some perfume and walked downstairs. 

"You look cute." Chyna said when she walked downstairs. 

"Thanks." I said.  

"Going natural for a change?" 

"Yeah, you like?" 

"Yeah." 

"Where are you off to?" 

"Zaire's. I have a meeting with his parents about the baby, their going to pay for the doctor bills." 

"Oh iight. Well see you later." 

"Yeah, and ma said to be home no later than 1:30. See you later." She said. As she walked out the door and Landra, Kyle, and Richie were standing there at the door. 

"Hey baby." He said to me when he walked in. 

"Hey." 

"You look so pretty. This look speaks to me, it says, 'All Natural." He said. As I started laughing at his corny joke. 

"Corny, but thanks." I said as I gave him a kiss. "Well are ya'll ready?" 

"Yeah." They all said, as I locked the door and walked to my car.

A few minutes later, I pulled up to the school gym and parked the car as we all walked to the door, gave them our tickets and walked on the stage to enter the party.  

We walked over to where Mel, Chris, Keith, and Diana were. "Hey, Mel, Chris, and Keith, this is Richie and Kyle." 

"Hey." Mel said. 

"What you don't see me." Diana said. 

"No I don't." I said as everyone except Chris leaves. "What's up with them?" 

"They talk now." 

"Oh, since when?" 

"Why does that matter, you don't like him anymore." 

"I never said that." I said.  

"Well still, I can't tell you all that, I told him that I wouldn't." 

"Okay, but you knew me first." 

"True. But still." 

'I helped you, you owe me." 

"Fine. They started before Christmas break." 

"Are you freaking serious." I said to loudly that the whole gym had their eyes on me. "So, I was sitting here thinking that I was the bad person when he was cheating on me." 

"He was planning on it the whole time, I just found out like a week ago, dead ass. Diana slipped up and told me. He asked you out to get her jealous and then when he found out that you kissed Richie he was like now I have a reason to break up with you." 

"So he used me. Whatever, I'm done with little boys." I said as I stormed away for him and walked to the table and sat on Richie's lap.  

"You okay." He asked me. 

"I am now." I said as I kissed him. "You want to dance?" 

"Yeah." He said as the whole table got up and danced. We dance for a few songs, then I danced with other boys, and then they played Hold Yuh by Gyptian, as I stood there and watched everyone dance and then looked over to see Keith and Diana dancing in unison with the bead as she turned around and kissed him and I turned around to see Richie looking at me. "Are you sure you're okay." 

"No I'm not, are you ready to leave." 

"Iight." He said as we walked out to the car and I started it and he put his hand on mine and asked "What's wrong?" 

"I just found out that Keith used me. He only went out with me to get Diana jealous. And when I kissed you he found a reason to break up with me. He hurt me, I trusted him, and I was just a little piece in his game. I gave him my heart and what did he do with it. I don't think I can trust another boy." 

"Not even me?" 

"Depends, are you gonna treat me the same way?" 

"Nah, I really like you and I don't ever want to hurt you." he said as he lifted my hand and kissed it and then our lips met and we stayed there for a few seconds, and then I drove off to the beach. "So this is your favorite spot?" 

"Yep. This is where I ran when my mother first went to rehab. I love watching the waves hit the dock. Its like every time they do the dock stays sturdy, but when we get hurt, we break down and it takes a while for us to heal. Like when my mother went to rehab, it took her a while to get better. Or when she went, it was gonna take me a while to forgive her." 

"Damn." 

"Yeah, like this situation, it gonna take me a while to ever trust someone again." 

"I understand that, and I'm willing to wait." 

"Really?" 

"Yeah. Like I said I really like you, your worth the wait." He said as I kissed him, so soft, so tender and everything in my mind wiped away. We stayed there for like a minute and then my body shifted on top of him and we started to feel on each other and then his hands slipped under my dress and I let them stay. Then he started to pull it of and I still let him, and I took of his shirt and stayed there mesmerized by his body. 

Then we kept kissing until he was onto of be and we were left in our underwear, and then he went in his pants pockets and pulled out a condom and waved it in my face, and then the moment was gone. I came back to reality. I didn't want it anymore. "No." I said. 

"What?" 

"I don't want to." 

"Okay, we don't have to we can just talk." He said as we put our clothes back on 

"Can we?" 

"Yeah." He said as my phone started to vibrate indicating a bbm from Chyna.

ChynaBeare&: Where are you? 

Me: At the beach, I left the party early. Why? 

ChynaBeare&: Ma is in the hospital. Come!! 

Me: Is she okay? 

ChynaBeare&: They don't know yet. Hurry! 

Me: I'm on my way. I said as I got up and water started to blur my eyes.  

"What's wrong?" 

"My grandmother's in the hospital, I have to go." 

"I'm coming." He said as I ran to my car, stated it and drove to the hospital.

We got there a few minutes later and walked in with our hands intertwined together and we walked to the desk. "Hello may I help you?" 

"Yes, I'm here to see my grandmother." 

"Her name?" 

"Angele Williams." I said as she looked for her name in the computer as my heart started to race. 

"Yes we have her, what's your name?" 

"Ra'vaya Williams." 

"Alright, and who is this?" 

"My friend." 

"Well he has to wait here. And here is the doctor." 

"Okay." I said as the doctor directed me to the room. I walked in and saw Chyna near her holding her hand and Corey and Jessie were crying. "Is she okay?" 

"We don't know she's in a coma right now." 

"What happened to her?" I asked as Chyna started to cry "What happened?" 

"She was in an accident. Oh my goodness, why does this always happen to me, first my father now her. I'll be back." She said. 

"How was the dance?" Corey asked. 

"It was alright." I said. 

"You found out?" 

"Yeah. You knew?" 

"Yeah, but you looked like you really liked Richie so I just didn't tell you." 

"Oh, yeah your right." 

"By the way where is he?" 

"Downstairs." 

"Well got with him, I will call you if anything happens." 

"Okay." I said as I walked downstairs and saw that he was still there. I walked over to him and sat on his lap and gave him a kiss.  

"What was that for?" 

"You stayed."

Wednesday, February 14th, 2010. 

Today is the last day that Richie and Kyle are staying in Orlando, so yesterday when we were on the phone we decided that we would spend the day at Disney World. 

So I woke up, put on my Abercrombie & Fitch hoody, my black skinnies that match the lettering and my white crocks. I put my hair in a half ponytail and went out to my car to pick up Landra. "Hey." She said when she walked out her apartment. 

"Hey." I said. 

"How's your grandmother?" 

"She's gonna be okay, the doctors just need more test." 

"Oh, that's cool Isaac got in a fight yesterday with this little boy in my building, and said that is all for you." She laughed; her five year old brother has had the biggest crush ever since he first met me. 

"Aw. Did he win?" 

"It was a tie; they fell and got up crying." 

'Well, shoot." I said as I hit the highway. 

For some reason, Disney world was packed, but we still mentioned to find Richie and Kyle so we got a quick bite to eat for like 30 minutes and then go on some rides. Then we went on the go carts. "Bet I will win. Richie said. 

"Bet I will." Kyle challenged him. 

"How about couples against couples." I said. 

"Bet." They said in unison ran into the cars and got strapped in and waited for the man to signal us to go, and we were off, first was Kyle then Richie, then me, and Landra was left in the wall. Then Richie passed Kyle and then I passed Kyle and it went on with that. And then the man waved us back in, me and Richie won even if I did come in after Kyle, because Landra stayed in the wall. 

"Okay fair game." Kyle said. 

"Yeah." Landra added. 

"Landra you stayed in the wall." I said. 

"Reasons why I don't have my license." She said as we all laughed. 

"You right." I said as we walked to get them something to eat. 

"Well we got to get going; my aunt's coming home in a few and is taking us straight home." 

"Okay bye babe." I said as I gave him a kiss. 

"Me too, bye Landra." Kyle said as they hugged and kissed. 

"By, Ky." She said. And with that they were gone. "Oh my goodness, thanks for hooking us up, I really like him." 

"No problem." 

"Yeah." She said. "But what about you and Richie, what happened after you left the party." 

"We went to Miami Beach, to watch the waves and we almost had sex." 

"What!" 

"But I stopped him." I said. "What did ya'll do yesterday?" 

"Went to the mall and to the movies." 

"That's it?" 

"Nah we go out now." 

"How do you not tell me this?" 

"He asked me when we went on the Epcot ball ride." 

"Oh, well you ready to bounce?" 

"Yeah." She said as we got on the monorail to Epcot to drive home.

"Hey Ravi." Chyna said when I walked in the door. 

"Hey?" 

"Can you take me to my doctor's appointment on Tuesday?" 

"Sure." 

"And shopping after that?" 

"Yeah, okay." 

"Thanks." She said as we parted to our rooms and I laid my head on my pillow, turned on my TV and drifted off to sleep.

Wednesday, February 17th 2010. 

"Ravi! Wake up did you forget?" Chyna yelled. 

"Oh, sorry." I said as I got up out of my bed. Yesterday I was on the phone with Kyle and we were talking about Richie and Landra. 

"Come on I only have like 30 minutes." 

"Okay." I said as I walked in the bathroom took a shower, got dressed, got a bite to eat and went to my car and started it. "So what's in store for today?" I asked as I got backed out of my driveway. 

"Finding out what the baby is and then shopping for clothes and baby stuff for the baby room." 

"You bought the house?" 

"Nah I put the down payment on it." She said as I turned onto the street the doctors office was on. "Owe." Chyna said." 

"What?" 

"I don't know, I think the baby just kicked." 

"Aw. Did you think of names?" 

"Yes, if it's a girl, I'm naming her Chanele Marie, but I didn't think of any boy names yet." 

"Oh. Iight." 

"Yeah." She said as I pulled into the doctor's office and went inside. Chyna signed in and came back to read some of the baby magazines while I just looked at this little disabled girl do something that was irking her mother's nerves and her mother just looked vexed and disgusted.  

"Ms. Williams." The desk lady called as we got up and walked to the doctors room. 

"Hello, Dr. Brown." 

"Hey Chyna, Ravi, was it?" 

"Yes. Hi." 

"Well let's gets started." She said as she plugged in the ultra sound and turned off the light. We all looked on the screen at Chyna's growing baby. "Your baby is very healthy like last month, and you wanted to know the sex." 

"Yes, please." 

"Okay, well you're having a... big bouncing boy." She said as Chyna smiled. 

"Thank you." Chyna said as Dr. Brown turned on the light, turned off the ultra sound and we got up and left.

"So you happy?" I asked Chyna. 

"Yeah, for some reason I feel like this baby, is gonna make my life go in the right direction." She said as I turned into the galleria parking lot and looked for a parking spot. "Owe. He kicked again." 

"Really?" 

"Yeah. I think he knows we're talking about him." She said. "Did you talk to you're your father?" 

"Nah, why?" 

"Well he and Yvonne broke up, and he's coming up for your mother's test." 

"Oh, why did they break up?" 

"I don't know, he told Cassie." 

"Oh." I said when we walked inside. "Are you going?" 

"Yeah, I wouldn't miss_" She stopped when she saw Zaire walking. "Um, hey." 

"Hey how's your mother?" 

"She's good." 

"Oh, well I need to talk to you." 

"Okay?" 

"Alone." He said as they walked away and Chyna mouthed "Go to Babies "R" Us and pick out stuff for the baby." So I walked to Babies "R" Us and saw Keith and Hannah. 

"Hi Ravi!" Hannah said as she came running toward me and gave me a hug. 

"Hey Hannah." I said. "Hi Keith." 

"Hi. Chris said that he told you." 

"Yeah. And?" 

"I'm sorry." 

"Freak you. I don't need you." I said as I tried to walk away but he grabbed my arm. "You used me, I was your bait, you game piece and when you were finished you let me fall on the ground." I finished. 

"Yeah but_" 

"But nothing, I feel hurt, well felt hurt, but now I just don't give a shit. I don't need you in my life; you're just another inconsistent thing." 

"Well I'm sorry you feel that way." 

"Keith please, I don't like to be played." 

"You act like I was the only one that did wrong it this situation, you cheated on me." 

"Yeah, but you knew your plan. You used me to get Diana back and started to talk to her when I was in New Orleans, and I kissed another boy. Which is worse?" I said as I waited for him to answer "Thank you now if you don't mind I have to go." I said as I walked away. I walked in Babies "R" Us and found a crib that was white with pink and blue ducks and baby symbols like rattles and stuff around it with a matching high chair, and some more baby supplies like a bottle heater. And then looked at some of the baby clothes.  

"Hey did you find anything." Chyna said when she found me in the store. 

"Yeah." I said as I directed her to all the stuff that I put on a quick lay away. 

"Cute. Okay let's get it." She said as she paid for them and signed the delivery slip. 

"What did you and Zaire talk about?" 

"Nothing really, he just gave me money when I said I was going baby shopping and then he said that he paid the doctor bill." 

"Oh, okay." 

"Are you okay, though?" she asked me. 

"Nah, but I'll be okay."

August 22nd, 2007. (Dream) 

He walked in the hallway with a little strut, nice D&G shades, while everyone including Mel and Landra laughed at him. "Whose the fag?" Landra asked. 

"I don't know. And shut up, he seems cool." 

"Why because of his clothes." Mel said. 

"No, because he's different. I saw him at the mall when I was shopping with Chyna. I think his name is Dawson Lawrence." I said. 

"Oh wow, well maybe you should go talk to him." Landra said being self-centered. 

"Maybe I will." I said as I slammed my locker shut and strutted away on my new heels to catch up to him. "Hello, I'm Ra'vaya, but my friends call me Ravi." 

"Hello boos, I'm Dawson, but I don't have any nicknames though." 

"Oh well it looks like you don't have any friends either." 

"Yeah, maybe because I'm gay, but I do have a cousin named Chris." 

"He's dating my best friend." 

"Oh well I have to go to class." He said. 

"Oh, yeah me too." I said. "What class do you have?" 

"Math A." He said, "What class do you have?" 

"Same." I said as we walked to our math class and I looked at Mel and Landra and how their faces went blank when I walked passed them. So we walked into class and the teacher told us to introduce ourselves then we could just talk 'til the period was over. "Tell me about yourself." 

"My mother killed herself when I was in the fifth grade and I got left back that same year because of her death and because it was the year I turned gay. I couldn't see myself loving another female." 

"Not even a friend." 

"That's different. Friends aren't meant to hurt you, only if they don't truly love you." He said. "Well to finish off, now I live with my father and his model wife who byes me all these cool clothing to get on my good side. What about you?" 

"I live with my grandmother, her twin daughter and son, then her other daughter and son in law, who just had a baby. My mother is in rehab and I hate her so much." I said. "And I never met my father." 

"Oh damn." He said. 

"Hey Ravi, Hey fag." Keith said. 

"Keith shut up and leave him alone." I said. 

"What are you his little friend now?" 

"Maybe, now leave him alone." 

"Whatever, miss 'Save the world." 

"Yeah whatever." I said. "Now scram." 

"Thanks." Dawson said. "Really."

Tuesday, February 23, 2010. 

"Vaya, get up." My grandmother said to me. She came home from the hospital yesterday with a broken leg and a minor head injury. The doctor also said that she couldn't work for a week and a half. 

Yesterday, I also stayed home. I didn't feel like myself. "Okay grandma." I said to her as I got out my bed and walked to the bathroom to take my shower, and then I walked to my room, got dressed and walked downstairs. "I'm out where's Chyna?" 

"She's staying home today." Grandma said. "Bye." And with that I left. 

When I walked into the school everyone was walking to their classes, I walked to my locker where I saw Landra and Mel standing at my locker. "Hey, Ravi." They said in unison. 

"Hey." I said to them. 

"Where were you yesterday?" Landra asked. 

"Home, I didn't feel good." I said. 

"What's on your mind?" Mel said. 

"This whole Dawson situation, and on Sunday I had a dream about the day we met and I defended him against Keith. 

"Oh yeah I remember that day." Mel said. 

"Yeah, I think it's a sign, but then yesterday when I was on the phone with Kyle he said that Richie has to tell me something and that was on my mind all night. 

"Oh well are you going to class, because we need a pass." 

"Nah, I don't feel like it, ya'll wanna get something to eat?" 

"Okay." They said as we walked out to my car and I drove to Denny's. 

"So I was talking to Kyle like after he talked to you and he was like he wants to come up this weekend but he doesn't have enough money to come. So I was like ask Richie if he can take him, and we could all chill." 

"I can't." 

"Oh, why?" 

"My mother's A.R.C test is this weekend." 

"Oh yeah, I forgot." She said as we continued to eat. When we finished, I drove back to school and saw Diana and her best friend Maria grilling me and my girls as we walked by strutting down the hallway with our heels clicking against the floor in perfect unison, Mel's Tall slim frame was rocking a purple cardigan, with a hot pink tank, skinny jeans and purple suede ankle boots, with light make up on her mahogany colored skin and her shoulder length curly hair. Landra was rocking a striped jacket, a sky blue tank that matched on of the stripes, a black flare skirt, and black peep toe stilettos, and she had blush on her cocoa colored skin while her short hair was in a bob. While I had on a green cardigan, a blue tank, black leggings, and my green suede ankle boots, with light make up and my hair was straitened.  

"Um, is there a problem?" Mel said to Maria and Diana. 

"No." Maria said. 

"Well, let's keep it that way." She said as we kept walking down the hallway. Everyone knows that Mel and I are not to be messed with. In the sixth grade these middle school girls were bothering us and we beat the shit out of them, Landra on the other hand, has never been in a fight her whole life. But that doesn't matter; if I wanted I could take them both on, myself.

When I got home, I went to my room and called Richie. "Hey babe." He said when he answered. 

"Yeah, Kyle told me you had something to tell me?" 

"Oh yeah, after I get a proper greeting." He said. 

"Sorry, hey babes." 

"That's better. Well guess what?" 

"What?" 

"My father came back." 

"Really?" 

"Yeah. I told Kyle to make it sound like I was gonna end something with you. Did it work?" 

"Did what work?" 

"Were you thinking about me?" 

"Yeah. Does he live with you?" 

"Yeah, my parents never divorced. He said he missed us." 

"Oh." 

"Yeah, I told him about you and he wants to meet you. How was your day?" 

"It was good, me and my girls went to Denny's for breakfast, and then we walked into school and Diana and her friend decided they wanted to grill me and Mel. What did you do today?" 

"Oh, Me and the boys chilled with Ronny and them at the mall. We ditched school." 

"Oh." 

"Yeah, I have to ask you something." 

"What?" 

"Why do you only call Kyle? It's like we never talk like you and Kyle do." 

"I don't know, when I do call you're at work and then you'll call me back and I'm sleep, or on the phone with Kyle and Landra." 

"Well, you're talking to me. Maybe you should tell them you want to talk to me." 

"Wait you think I want Kyle. Wow, you don't even trust me." 

"I do, I just want to talk to you, want to know how you're feeling, if you're sick or healthy, I want to be the last person you talk to at night, is that so hard?" 

"Nah. I'll try." 

"Huh?" 

"Maybe we should make a time for us to talk." 

"Alright." 

"I have to go though, I have to finish my homework, and I'll text you though." 

"Iight, bye baby." 

"Bye." I said as I hung up the phone. Was he really jealous? Damn, I just don't want to lose him.

Wednesday, February 24th, 2010. 

Today, when I got up there was only one thing on my mind, talking to Dawson. So I woke up did my daily morning routine and waited for Chyna to come downstairs so we could leave. "Finally." I said to her. 

"Do you know how hard it is getting dressed with this baby in my belly?" 

"No and I don't think I want to find out any time soon." I said. 

"Funny, okay lets go." She said as we walked out of the house to my car and drove to school. "Are you gonna see your mother later?" 

"Yeah. Why?" 

"No reason, just asking." 

"Oh, well did Cassie call yesterday? She was supposed to tell me when they are going to the Bahamas with grandma." 

"No, but you could call her later and you have to call your father, he really needs to talk to you." 

"Oh okay." I said as I pulled up in front of the school to drop Chyna off and drove to the back of the school to park my car. I don't know what it was, but I kept seeing Keith and Diana everywhere I went. So I just shook that off and walked in the school and walked to Dawson's locker. "Hi, Dawson." 

"Um, hi?" he said confused. 

"Look I wanted to talk to you." 

"Yeah?" 

"I want to hear your side of the story, since I never seem to listen when someone does me wrong." 

"You were right, I really never had a reason for telling him, but I thought he should know, and then there was something that was weird and when I heard about him using you it all went clear. When I told you he slightly smiled and then walked away like he was mad." He said. "But if you for give me I will try to stay out of your relationships." 

"Promise?" 

"I promise to try." 

"I'm cool with that." I said as I smiled. "I missed you." 

"I missed you too." he said as he gave me a hug. "So what did I miss." He asked as I told him everything from what happened with Richie to my grandmother to Keith and Diana and Keith's mother's program. "Wait so this thing is in the summer?" 

"Yeah. I can't wait, I told my mother that when they are gone I'm going to stay with Chyna, and on the days that I don't go I'm going to baby-sit the baby and Lani." 

"Oh what's Chyna having?" 

"A boy." I said as the first bell rang. "Well I have to go to class. Bye." 

"Bye."

Afterschool I went to work for the fashion show. I decided to work on my uncompleted outfit and sized many of the models and then Diana came in. "May I help you?" 

"Yes, you may, I'm gonna need you to stop talking to Keith." She said. 

"I'm done with him, I don't want to talk to him." I said. 

"Bitch I heard about what happened in the mall, I'm just telling you, if I hear that you were talking to him again, you will wish that you never said one word to him." 

"Whoa, first of all little bitch, don't come to my job acting reckless, if I wanted Keith I could take him away from you, second of all, bitch I will wash you, now you either scram or we can settle this now." I said. 

"Whatever bye bitch." 

"Sayonara, Hoe." I said to her as she left bumping into Rachel.  

"What was that about?" 

"Nothing, but all I know is that she is playing with fire that she better put out." 

"I like that, and is it the same drama with Keith." 

"Word." 

"Oh, well little bitch is messing with the wrong person." 

"Wrong people, you know Mel got my back." I said. 

"True." 

"Well I got to go, I have to see my mother." 

"Oh, bye chica." 

"Bye." I said as I got my bag and went out to my car, and once again I saw Diana and Keith, I don't know if this is a sign but all I know is that I might move my parking spot.

"Hey Mama." I said when I walked into the waiting room and gave her a hug.  

"Hey, you like?" she asked me as she spun around showing her weight loss. She looked just like she did in my dream when I went to the hospital. "Yeah." 

"Well since you didn't visit in a long time I've been working out." 

"Oh that's cool. You look go, though." I said.  

"Thanks, when I get out I want to go shopping with you, and get a make over. Maybe I can get a job in a gym or something." 

"Yeah." I said. "About that, when does your test start?" 

"It starts a 2pm, wear something nice, but I don't think I have to tell you that." 

"Yeah I guess not." I said. "But you know that thing I asked for?" 

"Yes I do, and I've been doing some thinking, you could go, but you have to find a way for you to have Lani safe." 

"I thought that I could stay with Chyna, then go to the internship program, then when I come back and baby-sit them she can do whatever. If that's okay?" 

"You talk to her about that." 

"I did, she said it would help her, I go every other day for ten hours, its just like if I'm at school and Lani is not a hassle." I said. "Oh yeah and before I forget, dad's coming." 

"Yeah, I know he called me." she said. I knew there was something about her weight loss and the whole make over thing. "How have you been?" 

"Good, just too much drama, and then with working." 

"Oh." She said. "How's ma?" 

"She's good, she's home she just has a minor head injury and a broken leg." 

"Oh, do they know who did it?" 

"Yeah, he paid for the car and the doctor bill. He was really nice." I said. 

"Well not all people who do bad, are bad." She said. 

"Yeah, your right." I said " I have to get going now though. Bye mama."  

"Bye baby." She said as I got my stuff and left. Maybe she was right. Maybe the docks knew the waves weren't bad, that's probably why they stayed sturdy.

When I got home I went to my room and called my father. "Hey dad." I said when he answered the phone. 

"Hey baby, what's up?" 

"You wanted me to call you?" 

"Yeah, how have you been?" 

"Good, I just came home from seeing mama, she lost a lot of weight. But, I heard you and Yvonne broke up?" 

"Yeah, things were just not working out." 

"What do you mean?" 

"I wasn't feeling the same spark I felt when I was with your mother. Technically, I still love your mother, and I want to tell her this when she comes out, I never stopped loving her, she was the only person I felt this way for, my whole life." He said as I just sat there smiling.  

"So you didn't love Yvonne?" 

"Not as much as I loved your mother, I mean don't get me wrong, Yvonne was bangin', is that what ya'll say these day?" He asked as I started laughing. 

"Nah, we don't but go on." I said. 

"But your mother had something about her that I just loved. The way she laughed when I told a joke, or when she smiled when I came around and before I kissed her, I miss that. I miss her, so I couldn't see myself propose to her." 

"Oh, dad, I have a question. When you were away from me, did you ever think to come find me when you found out mama was in rehab?" 

"Honestly, no, I wanted to, but I also wanted to respect your mother's wishes so I just gave up, until I found out that you asked about me." 

"Oh, thanks for being honest." 

"That's what a loving parent should do." He said as I just sat there smiling. "You still there?" 

"Yeah, I have to go though, I have school tomorrow, bye dad, I love you." I said. 

"I love you too. Bye baby." He said as I hung up the phone.

Saturday, February 27th, 2010. 

Today was the day, the day my whole family will go to A.R.C to see if my mother passes her drug test, so I got dress in my white Ralph Lauren Polo, my new black belted gray smocked skirt with my black 4" boots, and then I put on some make up and striated my hair. 

I walked downstairs where everyone, including my father was, sitting at the kitchen table. "Hey." I said as I gave everyone a hug and smothered Lani. "I missed you." I said to her. 

"I missed you too." She tried to say as I kept her in my arm and sat down with her on my lap. 

"When are we leaving?" 

"At two, when she calls." My grandmother said. "Take Lani to your room, we need to have grown people talk." 

"I'm grown." I said. 

"Go!" she yelled as she held her head indicating that she still had a head injury. So I walked up the stairs with Lani still in my arms and put on the TV for Lani and took out my phone to call Richie. 

"Hey, you busy?" 

"Nah, why?" 

"Nothing, I just wanted to talk to you." 

"Oh, well what's up?" 

"Nothing. Chilling with my baby cousin and waiting for my mother's test to start. You?" 

"Nothing, thinking about this special person, that I'm missing right now." He said making me blush. 

"Aw. I miss you too." I said. "I can't wait to see you." 

"Me neither, you know Kyle is going to se Landra today?" 

"Yeah, she told me, I couldn't go." 

"Yeah, he told me. I don't know why you couldn't tell me." 

"Are we gonna go through this again, I like you, not him." 

"Yeah, but you talk to him more than you talk to me." 

"And he talks to Landra more than he talks to me. He's dating my best friend, and I like his best friend." 

"So are you saying that you only talk to him about me?" 

"Yes I am, and about our life. Look if you don't trust me, how can we stay together." 

"We both like each other." 

"But is that enough?" 

"I mean you told me that you don't think that you don't trust any boy." 

"Yes and I know that I can trust you after what happened that night. Look right now you say you don't want to lose me, or were you just saying that?" 

"Never, I really do want you. But please can we talk a little more." 

"Yeah, and like I said you are always at work." 

"Yeah, I know." 

"So when you get home from work call me and I will leave them and talk to you, I promise. And this time call me. Because you never can pick up when I call." 

"Iight, I got you baby." 

"Yeah, you better." 

"RaRa."  

"Who's that?" 

"My little cousin, she's tired she just came from Cali, so I will call you later or text you." 

"Bye baby." He said as I hung up and got on the bed next to Lani and stared at the screen where spongebob was doing something gay and the next thing we know we are both sleep.

"Ravi, Lani, let's go!" Cassie called. 

"Coming." We said as we put on our shoes and went downstairs, with Lani following me. 

"Okay. Lani, Chyna, and Ravi are riding with Thomas. Ma, Charles and me are together, and Corey and Jessie are meeting us there." Cassie said as we walked out to my father's Land Rover and I sat in the front seat and he backed out the driveway and we were on our way to A.R.C.  

"So how are you and Richie? His mother came up to me and told me that ya'll are talking." He said. 

"Yeah, we're okay." 

"I think that good. He's a nice and good boy." 

"Yeah." I said. "You never took me to meet Sandy." 

"Oh, her mother and me are not on speaking terms." He said. 

"Why?" 

"Long story. Let's just say that when Yvonne and I started dating, Teresa decided to end all her knowledge of knowing me." 

"Oh. Well Sandy doesn't like me either. Do you have any sisters or brothers?" 

"I had a brother, he died a few years back from the flood, and I have a sister that lives in Philadelphia." He said. 

"Oh what's her name?" 

"Adrianna Wilson." He said. "You look just like her." 

"Really?" 

"Yeah, she's coming down for spring break." 

"Cool." I said as he pulled into the brick stone building and we followed the guide to 2c4. 

When we got to the room, Corey and Jessie were sitting and then we saw all my mothers A.R.C buddies. So we went to sit near Corey and Jessie and then Cassie and them came in and took their seat and we waited for my mother to walk in the room. 

Finally she walked in with one of the doctors and they started with the first procedure, the CAT scan, where they look at her brain to see her dependence on the drug. Then they did the behavioral test, which was how she acted without the drug, which she passed based on what the doctors said.  

So it was time for the next test. The verbal one, where the judges decide if she is ready to leave rehab. So we walked in the fake court room that they used to pressure the patients. "Chardae Williams, please approach the stand." The judge said as she walked to the stand and place her hand on the bible. "Do you swear to tell the truth, the full truth, and nothing but the truth?" 

"I swear." She said. 

"Okay, let's get started." He said. "How long have you been clean for?" 

"About 7 months." 

"Since what month?" 

"About last August." She said. 

"What was you motivation?" 

"My family and my daughter. I also felt like the drugs were a wrong turn in my life." 

"Okay. How do you feel ever since you left the drugs in the past?" 

"I feel great, like the old me before the drugs. I don't want any thing to do with them any more." 

"When you quit did you feel like you wanted to get back on them?" 

"Honestly, yes but I taught myself that they were a nasty habit." 

"Okay, what is on way you want relieve stress?" 

"I write in a journal, or I walk it off." She said. 

"Okay, last question, do you feel you hurt any people in the process and why." 

"Yes I do. Being in rehab has taught me to blame myself not others. So in the process I know I hurt my daughter, because I abandoned her, and my family because I disappointed them." She said. 

"That will be all." He said as my mother got up and walked to the back and smiled at me and my father. We all got up and drove home to have an early dinner and wait for the call.

Finally we got the call, so we put the phone on speaker. "Hey guys, I love you all for coming and showing me support, and I'm coming home!" she yelled trough the phone as everyone jumped, clapped, smiled, and just looked plain cluless, Lani, "So thanks and once again, I love ya'll." She finished and hung up.  

"You see Ravi, you were her motivation." My grandmother said to me as I smiled. 

"Yeah I know." I said as I rushed to my room. To text Landra, Dawson, Richie, and Mel.

Me: She passed!!! (  

DawsonBoo: Yay, congrats, that's cool. ily Ravi. 

LandraBear: Congrats, Kyle says it too.!  

MelPooh: I know you're happy, congrats from me and Chris.

Richie: Werd. Call me tomorrow, congrats, and I'm sorry, for everything I did, I do trust you I just wanted to make sure. 

Me: Okay, and I know. Nite baby. I said as I laid in my bed held my phone to my chest and looked up to the ceiling and started to smile, for some odd reason, my life went down and back up, hopefully it stays this way.