Chocolate chip cookies that are baked golden brown are cooling on the wire rack draws the attention of my cousins who all pile into the kitchen expecting a share of something I just made.
The three special ones have been put on a plate labeled with my name on it not to touch. They have been mixed with thistle milk, whoever eats this will think they are going to die for a few hours, explosive diarrhea and vomiting until nothing is left in their system. I have seen Lana our healer use this on wolves which she deemed deserving.
Keegan and Paley taking most of the cookies for themselves, all they do is eat all day long even waking up in the middle of the night sometimes to eat.
Their bodies are needing more food with their wolves now within them. Sometimes, they fight one another for the last piece of food on a platter.
Squabbling so bad that when they are trying to gain dominance over the other, I'll sneak in and eat the last piece in front of them laughing, making a good show of chewing with my mouth open, before swallowing it all down.
"Hey, save some for everyone else." Taking the plate away from them, bending down giving them to the little ones who can't reach the plate, yet.
Shamus is taking a share for himself eating two at one time.
"I'm going for a walk." Collecting my special cookies, putting them into my satchel.
Hopefully, I'll have a visitor this time. It's been several weeks since I saw Odin, the weather was still warm, now it's become chilled, the puddles on the ground hold a thin layer of ice before the sun melts it away by afternoon.
"We have to go with you." Keegan is saying this while shoving the last cookie in his mouth.
My dad told my mom about me out wandering further than I should, and she had a strong talk with my cousins to keep an eye out for me. They take their job seriously because my mom asked them to do it for her, as a special favour.
Paley is the one to always reply back to her that she count on them. He's such a suck up it kills me from the inside out.
"I'm not going very far." Shoving Paley's chest away when he tries to go out the door.
"We're coming." Keegan is saying this while taking Paley's place in front of him.
"Can I just have some privacy for a few hours?" Stamping my words out, so they understand I'm serious.
Paley coming closer, his eyes flashing slightly blacker, he hates being pushed, so I push him again which makes him rumble from within.
I know all the big buttons to push, and I try my best to push them as hard as I can every single day, day after day...push...push...push. It drives him to a certain madness at times.
Paley lunges, tackling me out the back door, the both of us rolling around on the cold ground that hasn't frozen yet.
Legs are trying to go around the other's trying to gain the upper ground, my chest making its noise to try to match what's coming out of Paley's chest.
He gets close to my ear trying to pin my shoulders to the ground, "you are nothing but a baby wolf who needs babysitters." That remark is going to earn him some bathroom time. It will be him and the toilet seat getting nice and cozy.
"I'm not a baby wolf." Flinging him off my body before re-grouping to my feet.
We begin our stalking of one another's movement's, slapping at each other's hands. A surprised shriek comes out of my mouth when my body is lifted up and over a shoulder of Keegan who starts to twirl me round and round.
The whirl that makes Charlie hurl.
They love doing this to me; they know how sick I get from being spun around too fast. This goes on until I beg him to put me down because I'm going to puke all over his back. When Keegan does put my feet on the ground, walking a good ten sideways steps before falling because my balance is off.
They think this is so funny, falling into fits of laughter even Shamus is laughing at me with his brothers.
Picking myself up, cleaning the dirt from my clothes. Eyeing each brother up hard, "I'm going to get the both of you, just remember that. It won't happen today, but when it happens, you will know it's me that did it." Saying it low with a depth of threat that , I know they know I will follow through with. I will never let them have the last laugh.
Pointing a finger at their throats, "don't you dare follow me." Making my voice sound as menacing and wicked as I can.
Quickly turning away stomping my feet on the ground, they are going to think hard before following me.
Do they obey my mother or do they risk my wrath by following me? Walking slightly further into the forest more than I should I don't hear my handlers at all, they don't know how to be quiet and just enjoy the woods instead they make such a disturbance that everything ends up hiding away until they're gone.
Their wolves are worse than their skin side, running this way and that way on trails of meat that they are still having a hard time catching.
Getting comfortable on the ground for an up close and personal perspective lets me get good angles of the plant first before I begin to draw the little purple flower with big leaves that only blooms in late fall, early winter.
Lana, the healer, said that it helps with fertility. The flower is picked, dried and steeped into a tea that is very evil to swallow down for a male who is having a hard time making puppies.
Creating my vision of the plant on a white page is almost trance inducing, getting lost in the picture that's being pulled out from space on a page. The simplest act of just moving my wrist slightly here, a swish there, with every line, every detail of the plant placed perfectly on a blank canvas that is labeled with directions of what each part can be used for.
Time has no meaning, getting lost in sketching has gotten me in some trouble at times with my mother.
"I see you're still drawing in that coloring book of yours." The male's voice startles me. Closing my book with the leaf I'm sketching, so I don't lose it.
Standing up slowly, not making eye contact with this male who says he's my mate. I don't believe him because my mate would never be someone like him.
Walking away without a word, all I can hear is how his feet crunch the leaves underneath his footfalls; now he lets me hear the noise he can make in the deep forest.
"Why are you always alone out here?" He's curious as he walks beside me, hands in his pocket.
I don't answer him. Instead, I quicken my pace towards my house.
"Do you not speak? Is my mate a mute?" His voice taunts me.
"I'm not your mate; the moon wouldn't do that to me." Giving him my most grown up serious voice.
"Charlie, I've said the same thing but sadly for the both of us. I am your mate, like it or not I'm stuck with you."
"I think you're lying; I don't feel anything towards you. I think that you're just doing this because your dad doesn't like my dad."
"I don't lie, Charlie." Now he stands in front of me his shadow darkening the path I'm on.
His hand almost touches my cheek where that ugly line has been carved into my face with his hand. It's a thick terribly healed scar to me but to the females who came from the Far North pack they look at it as if it's the prettiest thing a female can display on their body.
They bow their heads when I walk by them, touching their heart at times, patting my head telling me how honored I should feel that the moon picked me to be the Luna of the Far North.
Not ever questioning my status in the pack they call home now. They think a Luna is a higher honour than an Alpha.
"Your mark has finally healed." Odin is staring at my face taking in my features while I put my book away for safe keeping in my satchel. Fingers are brushing against the cookies I made earlier. Pulling out a cookie holding it out for him to take. "I just made them today, would you like one, Odin?" Giving him a wide grin smile that doesn't show teeth.
He doesn't move to take it, just staring at my mouth, my face. His skin quivers slightly as if he's got the shivers from being cold.
He doesn't look like he's cold in fact he looks warm with a flush to his skin. His nose is flaring, taking in lungfuls of air.
The sound of his wolf's deep base rumbles the most simplistic of sound that I can't decipher, what kind of language is he speaking?
Odin's eyes are a rich green that looks clean and pure.
His hand grips the sleeve of my sweater so our skin does not touch. Bringing my hand up to his mouth he takes a big bite of my cookie.
He sniffs at me while chewing the piece of food. His nose is almost brushing against my neck before he pulls himself away.
Holding out the remainder of what's left of the cookie, he bends his head down and takes it again between his teeth, my hand feeding him.
"It's good." He says this with a surprised smile on his face as if he was expecting it to taste terrible.
"Would you like another one, Odin." Saying this again with my smile. That low growl tumbles out from his chest again; I don't understand the meaning.
He doesn't look mad; he's not warning me of danger, what is he saying to me?
"I would." He's taking his backpack off his shoulders, unzipping it while I hand him another cookie. He takes it from my hand into his being careful not to touch the skin of my fingertips with his.
I have to hide the giggle when he swallows the cookie down; he's going to think his insides are spilling out of him when the thistle milk hits his gut.
It should take a good two hours before the first soft cramps begin to gurgle and a good hour more before the hard cramping makes him fold like a male getting hit in the balls.
It will render him immobile, he's going to think twice before he tells on me again, I hate snitches, and he's the biggest one. I can't go anywhere now without someone tailing me.
Muscles tense with the shifting of his body as he reaches inside the backpack. His short sleeve shirt revealing new tattoos on his forearms, and elbows.
The ancient tribal designs are displaying the bodies of animals that I can make out even in their abstract form.
It's the symbols drawn with a haunted quality that looks eerie against his skin as if the art is alive and breathing.
"This is for you." He hands me a pair of fur mittens with leather palms. "It's going to get cold." He states this fact out, while his eyes watch my hands smooth over the fur on the outside of the mittens.
Guilt bubbles start to blossom the inside of my stomach with my wickedness of what Odin will have to go through.
He brought me a nice present, and I gave him one of my not so nice presents in return.
"What kind of fur is this?" Looking up at him while he looks down at me with a little huff of breath. Putting my hands inside the mittens, they fit perfectly.
The inside feels owl feather soft, almost a silky quality to it.
"You don't know your fur?" He's shaking his head while saying this to me.
"I've never saw it before." The color that lines the outside of the mittens is blackish brown with a pale yellowish band down the middle of the mittens as if the one sewing it wanted to display what type of animal this came from.
"The outside is from the Wolverine, the inside is lined with the underbelly of the lynx. Hasn't your father taught you anything about what's in your forest?" The amount of disgust coming from his words makes me stand a little straighter towards him.
"My dad teaches me a lot of things." Spitting it out in a huff of my breath, that guilt that was unfurrowing inside my stomach is slowly starting to furrow back up as if it never started to creep inside me in the first place.
"Not the important things, Charlie." He's got his hands on my hands now feeling where my fingertips end inside the gloves as if checking for the fit.
"I told your father not to let you wander too far from home; I guess he doesn't care about you, now it's time to talk to your mother." He throws me a look that says just you wait. Zipping up his backpack throwing it over his shoulders, he starts to walk away from me, going in the direction of my house.
"Don't you dare." Calling after him because his pace makes it hard to walk beside him, I have to run slightly to keep up with him. He keeps quiet until we're at my front door.
"You either go and get her or I will call her out. Pick quickly." His tone is one of determination with an edge of anger to it.
"I won't go out too far again." Saying it quickly to him so maybe he will just leave without speaking to my mom.
"Go inside and get her for me or else I will call all the inside-outside." He is a wall that won't budge, standing there planting his feet into the ground taking a wide leg stance.
Turning slowly from him in defeat, going inside in search of my mother.
My dad's not home he and Uncle Grey went to the Southern border because of some squabble with the new Alpha there.
Going into the living room, watching my mother hold the new pup against her chest, giving it kisses, nuzzling her cheek against it has Aunt Meela smiling at her.
"Thanks, for watching him for me Vic." My mother gives the pup just one more goodbye kiss. I wish for a best friend like them, where we watch over each other's pups like they are our flesh and blood.
Since Uncle Grey is away for a few days with my dad, mom will take Aunt Meela's new pup and watch it while Aunt Meela has a rest in the afternoon.
"You smell of Odin, Charlie." Mom's nose lifting in the air.
"Who's gloves are those?" Aunt Meela is coming over and running her hand along the outside of them.
"Odin gave them to me for the winter."
"Wolverine fur." My mom is coming over looking on impressed.
"Odin's outside, he wants to talk to you." Mumbling it low to the point she almost asks me to repeat it.
"Why would he want to talk with me, Charlie?" Her face getting close to mine, looking me straight in the eyes. I don't answer her because I'm going to be in some deep trouble.
Following my mom to the front door, Odin's standing exactly where I left him.
"Mother Wolf." Odin gives her a slight bow of his head, but his eyes are watching her movements, tracking her as she steps right up to him.
"What is it you have to say?" Her menace bristles outwards.
"I found her again far from home, that Wolverine I killed wasn't too far from where she was, the Lynx I killed was prowling around the area I told your mate about but did nothing about. She needs to be watched, if you can't watch her, I will take her and watch her myself." They both look at me, Odin's face chiseled in anger, while my mom mirrors his.
"Charlie, did we not have this discussion?" Mom's voice is hard as stone.
"Yes." Saying it with my head hanging down.
"You're grounded, go up to your room, bad girl." My anger is directed at Odin who I flash my teeth at; my only regret is that I didn't give him my last cookie to eat.
"Odin, I hate snitches, think of me when you feel as if you're dying from the inside out." Another flash of teeth his way before spinning on my heels, marching inside slamming the door shut. I don't hear my mom come inside for a while.
Looking out the window, they're having a long talk, both standing their ground to one another. Odin points his finger at my mother's face; her hand swipes at that finger barely missing it as he quickly pulls it away.
Going into my room with the gloves still on my hands sitting on my bed knowing that I'm in some big trouble from mom.
"Charlie, you're grounded from going into the forest till spring. You're only allowed to go to the edge of the clearing, and that's it." She closes the door to my room, leaving me to stew in my revenge towards my mate, who I don't believe is my mate.
Aunt Meela is coming up with dinner on a plate for me because I refuse to go downstairs and have my cousins snicker under their breaths because I got into trouble.
She places it on my bedside table before walking out. She's mad at me too; I can tell because she says nothing to me. When she's quiet, it means she's mad.
The season of fall blows away as winter roars in with its Frostbite of breath. I hate the winter; it's the dead season where trees look barren, and the plants hide inside their bulbs underneath the ground.
The gloves that Odin gave me are keeping me warmer than anything I have ever worn before.
They stand up to the frost, the ice, the deep cold that blows in from the Far North.
Females of the pack are stopping me to inspect the quality of the mittens, commenting how well stitched the seams are. How brave Odin must have been to kill a Wolverine on his own. When they find out a Lynx lines the inside of them, they say to me how powerful my mate is.
They also say the moon has blessed me with the finest of males.
By the time spring comes into season the landscape changing along with my body. Noticing small things happening on the outside has me wearing bigger, looser fitting shirts, my pants all needing to be replaced because I've grown several inches, hips becoming wider and my belly giggles now with the extra layer of fat that's starting to be stored there in preparation for my first shift that won't happen for a while because I'm only fourteen.
At times when I go feed my rabbit on the edge of the clearing, not daring to step one foot into the forest I think I can sense him but when I look around nothing is there.
It's been at least six months since I've seen Odin. My imagination plays tricks on me.
Running outside after my punishment is finally lifted, skipping out to feed Fred the rabbit with intentions of just taking a small walk into the forest.
The new growth of spring has everything starting to push out of the ground.
The landscape no longer holding the dull, dead color of winter, the vibrant green that I love to see is carpeting the land in my love color.
Walking in the back of the shed that's on the outer edge of the forest, I come across a murder scene. The cage destroyed while tufts of white fur are scattered across the ground. Paw prints litter the area, along with splatters of blood. Those twins are responsible; they can't catch anything themselves, so they attack an innocent caged rabbit that has no hope of escaping.
Tuning fork anger that vibrates the marrow of my bones shakes my body to the point I think I could break apart.
Tears of despair leak out my eyes. I had that rabbit since it was a baby, hand fed it only for those two to kill without any honor.
They never hunted it down on the trail of meat instead they were weasels that broke into its house and ate it.
I'm going fix it, so those two are afraid to put anything in their mouths again.
"Why are you crying?" Odin's voice right behind me. My hands are dropping the tail that's the only thing left of the rabbit that was my friend.
"They ate my friend." My tears are starting to stop with his presence. A curious thing has me angling my head towards his leg.
He stops the movement by moving away until he comes back only to kneel close but not touching me. Picking up the rabbit tail in his hands giving it a smell. He is touching the paw prints that were left at the murder scene.
"Young Wolves made these tracks, do you want me to go and kill the wolves who did this to your friend?" Handing me back the tail that holds no more blood.
"No, you can't kill my cousins," I say the words with great regret.
"Charlie you know you can't keep a rabbit for a pet with wolves around." His voice is soft while my heart is breaking with my first real loss.
"I rescued him when he was a baby, someone ate his mother, I found him all alone in the bush. I just couldn't let him die. So I nursed him with milk that some of the females gave me for him. It didn't take long before he could eat on his own." Now my voice cracks with remembering his life and how happy he made me.
"Why are you here Odin?" Saying it without the depth of curiosity, my grief making everything else not important even him.
"I was passing through and thought I would just check on you. Make sure you're still alive."
"Would it make you happy if I wasn't?"
"Don't say things you have no idea about." His words are making my head rise, so we are looking eye to eye.
"I need to go, so I'm home when my sister returns. She lost a pet once too; it was hard on her. My condolences to you." He touches his right hand to his heart and gives a bow with his body.
He leaves the way he came in silence. I stay out here for a while before the night starts to take over and the forest gets filled with things that scare me.
Dragging my feet to bed, I don't brush my teeth because I refuse to go on as if life is normal. My parents are trying to make things better with words of wisdom but all they do make me cry until I fall asleep with them rubbing my back.
When I get up in the morning, there's a box next to my bed that has words scribbled on the top of it.
Charlie may it make you smile.
Looking inside is a baby rabbit as soft and small as Fred use to be.