Hi i just wanted to let you know there will be a sequel to this which i will give you the link to or something once i finish the last chapter in this particular book which will be soon x
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My eyes opened the next morning to a faint yet beautiful voice beside me.
"Brooke." Ashton said softly, his forehead brushed against mine. I blinked a few times, and opened my eyes a little bit more to see Ashton sitting up, and putting his glasses over his eyes.
"Hi Ashton." I smiled, my voice still weak.
"Hi Brooke." Ashton said back, looking down at me a tired smile on his face. Speaking of tired, I still felt like I was alseep, struggling to keep my eyes open.
"Shit Ashton what time is it?" I groaned, shutting my eyes and burrying my head into the pillow.
"Eight," Ashton shrugged.
"Eight?!"
"Well yeah!" Ashton replied, patting my stomach and getting up off the bed. I watched the way his back muscles flexed under his skin as he walked over to the window, opening the curtains.
"Shit." I laughed, covering my eyes from the harsh light that flowed into the room.
"Aw, it's so pretty out, Brooke!" Ashton said, spinning around to look at me with a huge smile on his face. He looked like an excited little kid; it was really fucking adorable. "We gotta go!"
"Alright alright!" I giggled, sitting up and swinging my legs over the side of the bed. I scurried over to my bag, grabbing some clothes and rushing to the bathroom. I inspected my face a little, rinsing it out with water and taking my hair out of the bun it was in. I shook it out, and it was a mess.
"Should I take a shower?" I called.
"Why?" Ashton's voice replied from the other room.
"Because I look like shit!" I laughed.
"Brooke you could literally have your hair up, no makeup on, and wear a fucking turtle neck sweater and I would still think you're the most beautiful person I've ever seen."
"Okay okay," I said softly, my lips curling into an idiotic smile. I swear, his words are so sweet sometimes. And it seemed like it didn't take him any thought to say that he thinks I'm the most beautiful person he's ever seen. It made my heart warm.
I brushed my hair out, and put on a couple coats of mascara before quickly changing into that pink bikkini I haven't touched in months, along with a pair of denim shorts and a sheer white shirt over it. With one more look to my appereance in the mirror, I walked out of the bathroom, and I couldn't help but laugh.
"Really, Ashton?" I said.
"What?"
"Skinny jeans?"
Ashton's dimples popped up on his cheeks as he chuckled back at me and shrugged. I grabbed my phone off the bedside table, and stuffed it into my back pocket as I looked around the room for my sunglasses.
"Wait," Ashton said. I turned around to face him, raising my eyebrows to give him my full attention. "I have one rule."
"Yes...?" I said.
"No phones," He replied, tossing his onto the bed. He looked at me with a smile, and I think I knew what he was implying here. I only put my phone in my pocket because I wanted to see if my parents would try to call me or something, but Ashton's right; I shouldn't worry about that right now.
"You know what?" I said. I tooke my phone out and tossed it next to his, an excited smile on my face. "You're right. Come on Ash let's go do crazy shit together."
...
I've been to Venice Beach maybe a couple times in my life, when I was little and stuff. Sometimes, my family would come up here for the day, and I can rememeber the one time I was biking along the cement sidewalks next to the beach and I hit someone else and I flew face down onto the ground. As Ashton and I walked into the little beach town with our hands intertwined with one another, I decided to tell him that story.
"Oh God," Ashton cracked up. "How old were you?"
"Like, 7th grade," I laughed. I looked up at him, and I nudged him a little. "Don't laugh at me!"
"It's funny!" Ashton giggled. "Don't worry, one time me and Michael were riding dirtbikes down these random hills we found, and I don't even know how but all I rememember was crashing into him and ending up face down in the sand."
"And Michael?" I asked.
"The little fucker was fine!" Ashton finished with both of us cracking up. I watched as Ashton's eyes wandered around our surroundings, from the busy street beside us, full of pick up trucks and beach-going vans, to the little shops and cafe's that rested on the other side of us. From what I can remember, just a couple blocks west and we would be at the beach.
"This place is so cute." Ashton said.
"It really is-" my words were cut off by a gasp when my eyes wandered over to a shop beside us. The cutest dress was on display in the window, and my inner girl couldn't help but dash over to it.
"Here we go," Ashton said behind me. "I knew this day would come."
"What do you mean?" I asked. Ashton wrapped his arm around my waist, and let out a laugh.
"The day I have to be that boyfriend and go shopping with you and pretend I'm interested in skirts and whatever else you people shop for."
"Not true," I laughed, swatting his arm. "You know, I think there's a music store somewhere around here."
"Wait really?" Ashton asked, his eyes widening with excitedment. I nodded, taking his hand in mine to keep walking. We strolled along the sidewalk, stopping everytime I saw something cute on display in the window, or everytime Ashton stared at the street art. Places like this have alot of street art it seems like, and it's actually a really nice touch to the area, in my opinion.
"How close is the beach?" Ashton asked out curiosity as we came to a hault at a crosswalk. I looked down the open street to the left of us, to see the grassy park and sand of the beach about 50 yards away. I pointed down to it, and Ashton nodded. The beach looked pretty crowded, which I wasn't really surprised at. It's the weekend and it's actually pretty hot out.
"I still don't know how you can survive everyday in skinny jeans." I shook my head and laughed.
"You get used to it," Ashton replied, draping his arm over my shoulder. "Besides, it's almost like, cold here, compared to Vegas."
"Well duh," I said as we crossed the street. From what I can remember, there was a small and cute little music shop at the end of this stretch. "This isn't the desert."
"Well fuck the desert," Ashton said. I looked up at him, and pecked his cheek. We walked in and out of crowds of tourists, until I finally found the store I was looking for. I could tell Ashton saw it too, because he imediately broke into a little jog, pulling my behind him.
"Oh god I'm in heaven." He groaned as we came up to the window. There were acoustic guitars on display, and they looked a lot like the ones Calum and Michael have. So basically, this place is relatively cheap. "Come on!" Ashton said excitedly, pushing the door open.
We walked into the little shop, and I was surprised at the amount of instruments they could fit in here. Ashton's eyes darted around until they focused on the section of the sotre that sells bongo drums, box drums, and any other acoustic rhythmic instruments. He instantly looked extremely interested as he stared at them, his hands tapping onto one of the bongos.
"Don't tell me you can also play the bongo." I joked.
"Pft, are you kidding me?" Ashton played a long. "I'm the bossest bongo player there is." He played a short beat on it, his eyebrows furrowed together in concentration. He continued to look at the instruments, before his eyes widened and his jaw dropped.
"BROOKE." He breathed, looking over to me.
"Yeah?" I laughed, utterly confused on what he could possibly be thinking about.
"I have a very important question," he said to me. "Do you know how to play any of these instruments?"
"Ummm..." I looked around the store, shaking my head. But memories from maybe the 9th grade flooded over me as my eyes caught a glimpse of a rack of ukuelele's near the right end of the room. "I mean, I learned how to play the ukuelele when I was like, fourteen-"
"Seriously?" Ashton asked.
"Mhm," I replied. I don't even remember how or why I did; I guess one of my friends back then taught me or something. "I only know like, four chords-"
"That's perfect!" Ashton cheered, though I was still very confused on what he was thinking about.
"Are you onto something, Ashton Irwin?" I laughed.
"A little..." Ashton's voice trailed off as he looked over to me, a devilish smile on his face.
...
"I can't believe you just bought yourself a fucking bongo drum." I chuckled as we walked down the street towards the beach. Ashton ended up making me buy a ukuelele while he used some of his own money to buy the bongo drum that his strong arms were now wrapped around.
"This is gonna be so fun!" Ashton cheered.
"So I've never done this before," I said. "So we just sit down and play songs and sing?"
"Yes!" Ashton replied. I was actually really amused at how excited he was right now. It was really cute, actually. "And then people give us money and we entertain the general public! Doesn't that sound fun?"
"Of course," I smiled. It actually did seem pretty fun. "But I'll leave the singing to you."
"What? No, we have to do it together."
"I can't sing are you kidding me?!" I couldn't help but laugh. I don't really sing; I never have and I probably never will. I never did when I was younger, and I don't think I've ever sang infront of anyone before. Ashton, on the other hand, is of course, fucking gifted at it.
"So?" Ashton said, looking over to me. We came to another stop to let a few cars go by, before crossing one more street. I looked around the grassy field that we stood infront of, which stretched pretty far down the beach, with the sand and ocean on the other side. There was actually a lot of people here today, which is definitely a good thing; more people to hear Ashton sing.
"So," I answered. "I'll play what little I can on the uke and everyone can hear your perfect voice!"
"Brooke Anderson," Ashton said, stopping dead in his tracks once we reached the other sidewalk. "Do you not know what the term 'you and me' means?"
I looked at him, and he looked at me with his eyebrows raised. I know he was joking, but his reference to our little saying made me smile. "Ugh, fine," I groaned. "Only because I don't know any of these people and I don't think you would judge me."
"I could never judge you." Ashton said, tucking his arm around my waist and pecking my cheek with his soft lips. We walked over to a bench that sat on the grass that had no one on it. I sat down on it as Ashton did the same, putting the drum inebtween his legs. I strummed the ukuelele a couple times, and surprisingly I remembered how to play the only chords I knew.
"That's C, G, A minor, and F, right?" Ashton asked. I looked over to him, kind of astonished.
"Well shit how many instruments do you play?" I chuckled.
"A lot," Ashton shrugged with a smile, his eyes squinting against the sun. His lips pursed together as he looked around the area, as if he was thinking back on something. "Oh! I know what song we can play first."
"What song?"
"Skinny Love?" Ashton proposed. A smile instantly spread across my face.
"Fuck yes," I agreed. "I love that song!"
"Hooray!" Ashton cheered. "Now, it would be A minor, F, and C, right? On the uke?"
"I would think so," I said, strumming the chords a few times. I looked from the instrument I had in my hands, then back up to Ashton. "Start us off, babe."
Ashton nodded, and looked around at the couples and families and groups of friends that walked past us. No one seemed to look back at him, or me, and they just kept walking. Ashton looked over to me, and I took that as my qeue to start strumming. I knew the song well enough to play it freely, and I could tell where each chord needed to change. My fingers were a little slow in the into; I was a little rusty. Like fuck, I can't even remember how I know how to play.
"Come on skinny love, just last the year," Ashton sang softly. My eyes widened and darted over to him, my heart rate picking up. "Pour a little salt we were never here." His eyes wandered around, his voice pretty quiet. He looked a little nervous actually, which made my heart fill with warmth. People walked by, but no one looked over to us. Ashton didn't hit his bongo, and I guessed he was waiting until the chorus or something before he adds the other element into the song.
"My my my, my my my, my-my, my-my...." Ashton sang. Shit, I was mesmirized. His voice is incredible. "...Staring at the sink of blood and crushed veneer." He looked over to me, and raised his eyebrows. He shot me a look that said 'your turn!'
I sighed, but cleared my throat.
"Tell my love to wreck it all," I sang out, my eyes closing for some reason. Oh god this is fucking embarrassing. Although I was just as anxious as Ashton was at this point, my hands managed to keep my chord progression going. "Cut out all the rope and let me fall. My my my..." my voice trailed off as I looked over to Ashton, and my eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Ashton was staring at me, his eyes squinting and a little chuckle escaping his lips.
"You fucking prick!" I bust into laughter, getting the obvious hint.
"I didn't say anything!" he giggled.
"You're laughing at me!" I replied. Even though we were in public and I know very damn well I can't sing, I didn't seem to care. It might be because I don't know any of these people, or maybe it was because I was with him. "I know, Ashton. I can't sing. Thanks a lot for making me do this."
"Aww come on," Ashton smiled at me. "It's not that bad."
"You're an asshole." I laughed.
"It doesn't matter! It is perfect to me, Lovey." Ashton finished with a little nod, and a look in his eyes that said a lot of things I couldn't quite put my finger on.
"Really?" I laughed. "Are you sure?"
"Yes!" Ashton smiled. "It's the cutest thing I've ever heard. Not to mention you're perfect at everything else, right? NOW we must keep going!" We broke into laughter as Ashton patted his hands onto his bongo drum, forming a gentle beat to go behind the ukuelele sound I was creating next to him. I took that as my queue again to keep on singing. "Right in the moment, this order's tall."
"And I told you to be patient, and I told you to be kind..." Ashton joined me this time, and I was actually shocked or a few seconds. As soon as Ashton's voice was added to mine, it sounded so much better. It's probably because Ashton's was much louder than mine and kind of drowned it out, but that's what I was aiming for. It actually sounded really good, as I strummed the same chords over again, with Ashton's hands tapping against the authentic set of drums that sat in his lap. I looked up and some people looked at us they walked or biked by, smiling. I smiled back, and looked over to Ashton. "And I told you to be balanced, and I told you to be fine."
"And in the morning I'll be with you," I let Ashton take this one. His eyes were shut and his mouth was in a smile, a look of pure bliss on his face. My eyes wandered down his big ass hands that gently patted against the bongo, and I found myself staring at them, traveling from his fingertips to his wrist, to his arms and to his face that still looked so happy. "But it will be a differen't kind-"
"Cause I'll be holding all the tickets," we sang together. "And you'll be owing all the fines..."
...
"BUT HE TALKS LIKE A GENTLE MAN, LIKE YOU IMAGINED WHEN YOU WERE YOUNG." Ashton and I belted out, both of us smiling like complete idiots. Turns out, there's a lot of songs one can play based on just four ukuelele chords, because by this time, we've been out here for at least 2 hours. I don't think either of us really cared how loud we were at this point, because people were actually stopping to drop a few coins or dollars, and some actually stayed and watched! I'll admit, Ashton and I make a pretty good musical act; somehow we've managed to make my mediocre ukuelele playing and singing and Ashton's killer beats stay in sync, and every song we've played has sounded really good. Ashton's done most of the singing, but what he said about my voice did nothing but make me laugh. I know, I don't belong in the music world, but I didn't mind. I just like to be around Ashton when he makes music.
"And sometimes you close your eyes," Ashton sang, his voice shifting to a softer tone. I'll be honest, I don't think I've seen him smile for this long in a while. "And see the place where you used to live, when you were young- UKUELELE SOLO."
I strummed all the chords I could think of, and even though it sounded like shit, we both started cracking up. "YES BROOKE." Ashton laughed.
"Oh God I suck at this!" I shrieked.
"PLEASE," Ashton said loudly to all the people passing by us. "Donate to help raise money because my girlfriend is apparently really bad at the ukuelele."
People looked at us like we were crazy, but I didn't really care.
"Alright fine, we don't need your money anyways," Ashton said, slumping back against the bench. "Look, Lovey! We made twenty bucks!"
"Sh I'm not done with my solo!" I said sarcastically. With a couple more pathetic chords I stopped and looked around. I think we were creeping people out. Oh well.
"is that enough to go get Taco Bell?" I asked, my smile growing bigger.
"Fuck yes," Ashton laughed. "I have no idea what time it is, but it's always time for Taco Bell."
...
By the time Ashton and I were sat in Taco Bell for the 100th time in the past two days, it was only 2:30 pm. Ashton and I brought our new instruments back to our motel room, walked around the little town a little bit more, and basically just fooled around like no one else was around us. I've realized that about Ashton. He's actually really good at that; when he's not around all the people back home that judge him, he really is the most adorable and dorkiest person I've ever met. I love it.
"So Brooke," Ashton said, stuffing a taco into his mouth. "What else could we do today?"
"Hm," I replied. "I dunno, what do you want to do? I mean, we could go to the beach, but someone's wearing skinny jeans."
"Brooke that's all I have!" He giggled. "There's nothing wrong with the art of the skinny jeans."
"I know," I said sweetly. "They look cute on you."
Ashton narrowed his eyes at me, that adorable smile still on his face. I sat back and did the same to him, thinking about how weird it is to think that when I first met Ashton, I would have never guessed he would be the one sitting across from me in a Taco Bell in Venice Beach, talking to me about how I think skinny jeans look cute on him.
"But the question is," Ashton spoke up. "What are we gonna do tomorrow?"
"Actually, the question is," I retorted with a smile. "What are we not gonna do tomorrow?"
"That is what I like to hear!" Ashton laughed, leaning across the table to bump knuckles with me. "But seriously. What are we gonna do?"
"I have a few ideas," I winked, sitting back in the cheap plastic chairs they put in Taco Bell.
"Oh no," Ashton laughed. "That can't be good."
"I'm great at surprises!" I said.
"I know babe," Ashton replied. "And besides. It's the element of not knowing what the next day brings, right?"
"Exactly." I smiled, bumping knuckles with him again. I sat back, and brought my knees up to my chest and looked out the window at the tourists on the sidewalk and all the cars driving down the road. My eyes wandered back across the table to Ashton, to see him staring down at this hands that rested on the table as he picked at his fingernails. His eyebrows furrowed together and he flicked his messy hair to the side, and for some reason I couldn't take my eyes off of him. I really don't know why, but I was just plain staring at him. I find myself staring at him alot, but for some reason that weird feeling came back into my stomach and bubbled around. My foot started to quickly tap on the floor and my hands found one another, clasping together.
"Brooke?" Ashton asked. I blinked my eyes a few times and slightly shook my head, not even realizing he had looked back up and was also staring at me. "You alright?"
"What-? Yeah, of course," I assured.
"You sure?" He asked slowly.
"Mhm!" I smiled, my voice squeaking a little. God, what the fuck is going on with me?
"Okey," Ashton said sweetly. "You done?"
I nodded, and helped him clean up the mess we managed to make with all of our tacos. I instantly put my hand in his as we exited, and started walking back towards the motel.
"I don't know about you," Ashton said cheekily. "But all that singing and walking and taco eating made me tired. I need to take a nap."
...
I think, no matter how many times Ashton and I spend the night with each other, he'll always not have as much sleep as I do. I mean, it's 4:00 pm, and I'm not tired at all. We didn't do much, as eventful as the afternoon seemed to be. But maybe 5 minutes after we had come back to our room and crashed down onto the bed, Ashton was out like a light. It doesn't worry me or anything, it just saddens me a little. I wish he wasn't so easily tired all the time.
I was sat up on the bed, texting some friends from back in Orange County, with my back against the wall while Ashton napped ontop of the sheets next to me. He snored lightly, his face burried into the pillow with his skinny jeans sagging a little.
As much as I tried to stay in touch with my old friends when I first moved to Vegas, I've sadly started to loose contact with them. I don't mean to, but obviously, a lot's been going on lately. I told them about Ashton a little bit more, excluding all the deep and personal things that I seem to be the only one who knows about. I also told them we were in Venice for the weekend, just to keep the conversation going.
For the next 45 minutes or so, my eyes darted back and fouth from Ashton to my phone, and not once did either one of my parents try to contact me. I don't get it; couldn't they at least ask where the hell I was? Or do they not care...? Yeah, they probably don't care. I shouldn't either, right?
"I have you," I said just above a whisper, running my fingertips down Ashton's back. I didn't really mean for those words to come out, but I guess I'm not scared to say what I want to him when he's asleep. "I just love you." I sighed and got up off the bed, and headed for the shower.
By the time I was stepping out of the warm water and throwing on some sweatpants and a tshirt that I think once belonged to Ashton, I could tell that if the sun hasn't set yet, it was about to. I checked my phone and saw that it was past 5:00, and I guessed the sun was probably down by now. I threw my damp hair into a towel, and put some moisterizer on my face. I looked around the counter and laughed to myself at the fact that most of the stuff on here was all mine, minus Ashton's toothebrush and contact case.
"Lovey!" I heard Ashton's voice from the other room. I shook my hair out and took my brush into my hands, opening the door. I walked into the room to see Ashton sprawled out ontop of the blankets, the TV remote in his hands. Our eyes met, and he had the most excited look on his face. "Look what's playing!"
I looked over to the TV, and my face lit up as well at the sight of The Titanic playing on HBO.
"Oh, hell yes," I groaned, brushing out the rest of my hair and climbing onto the bed next to Ashton. It had just started, luckily.
"Well wait a minute," Ashton asked, his eyes wandering over me. "I need to get cozy, too."
I watched as Ashton scurried off the bed, grabbing his plaid pajama pants and black tshirt from his bag and rushing over to he bathroom. "Hurry you're missing it!" I joked.
"I'm trying!" I heard his adorable laugh from behind the bathroom door. I laughed to myself, and climbed under the blankets. Ashton walked out a couple minutes later, looking cozy in his pajamas and his big black glasses.
"Thank God you're here," I said. "I can't watch this movie without you."
"Literally me too," Ashton replied, hopping onto the bed and getting over the covers next to me. Our legs folded over one another, and I made no hesitation to snuggle into his chest, breathing in the smell of Ashton and laundry detergent on his tshirt. "Ugh," Ashton said. "I love this part."
"When they get on the boat?" I asked. "Why?"
"Because I just love all the irony!" Ashton said happily. "It's so smart."
"Haven't we talked about this before?" I laughed. "You got all geeky and told me it was dramatic irony, not siutational irony."
"Oh right," Ashton chuckled, looking down at me. "I remember that."
I rolled my eyes at him and laughed, wrapping my arms tighter around his torso. We both went quiet for a little, our eyes glued to the TV. Ashton's arms were wrapped around me as well, his hand softly running little circles on my back. As we got further and further into the movie, my focus was fading from the film, and dawning more on the way Ashton's hand rubbed on me. Which is quite weird to pay attention to all of a sudden, when like, our movie was playing right infront of me. My eyes ripped away from the TV screen, and I looked up at Ashton. His green eyes were still glued to the screen, and my eyes traveled down from his messy hair, to the way his collar bones peaked out of hs tshirt. I brought my top arm out from around his body, and layed it across his chest so my fingertips lightly graze along the soft skin of his neck.
"You're so fucking perfect." I blurted out, my voice quieter than before. Realization of how fucking weird that sounds hit me when Ashton looked down at me, obviously a little confused. We looked at each other for a cople moments, before I broke into a small laugh at myself. "Sorry, that was really random." My gaze droppped a little, and I looked back up at him to see his lips curled into a little smile.
"Well thank you," He laughed. "I love random compliments."
"But..." my voice trailed off and my eyes wandered up and down him again. "I'm being serious. Like shit, I don't think I've ever seen anyone more beautiful..or handsome or sexier than you-" I sat up, my eyebrows furrowing together. Ashton raised his eyebrows, and he looked a little amuzed at me. "-shit I'm sorry I don't know why this is all coming out of my mouth right now." It's true, I don't know why it was.
Ashton sat up as well, chuckling a little.
"What's so funny?" I defended, shifting my body so I sat against the wall with my knees bent up to my chest.
"Nothing!" Ashton giggled.
"Then why are you laughing?" I asked. We both went silent, and we both just stared at each other. I watched as Ashton propped his elbow up on his crossed legs, resting his chin on his knuckle.
"You're blushing a little." he said.
"Stop it!" I exclaimed. "I was just letting you know that I think you're perfect and whatnot like shit if you can't take a simple compliment-"
"You're jittery." Ashton interrupted; it looked like he was genuinely trying not to laugh. I ceased talking, and slumped my back a little against the wall. He's right, my words were getting rambly and I could definitely feel the heat on my cheeks. I'm not really sure why I got all defensive for a couple seconds there; maybe I'm just a little embarrassed.
"You're right," I sighed. For some odd reason, my mind went back to that one night we were staying in Michael's guest room. I forget what had happened that night, but we made out and went pretty far and yadda yadda yadda...the usual. And then Ashton told me he wasn't a virgin and all this stuff I've known for a long time and I've really never been bothered by it at all. As Ashton and I sat in a little moment of silence, my mind was pondering on about it for some reason I couldn't really distinguish. That weird feeling bubbled up inside of me again, but this time, there was another feeling along with it. And it only came into my system when I thought about the fact that Ashton has had legitamte sex with someone else before. And it wasn't me. Well of course it wasn't me, it was all last year. It was a long time ago, but it still happened.
Well shit, was I jealous?
"Ooooh," Ashton said slyly. "I think I know what's going on here."
"You do?" I asked. I could tell he was just messing around with me, but my stomach was still churning.
"Do you want me, Brooke Anderson?" He joked, a cheeky smile on his lips. Instantly I felt my eyes widen and my sweaty hands clasp together.
"Wh-what?" I stuttered. "N-no...I just- Well, not that I don't want you but..just...not like that, I mean-"
My eyes wandered around the room and it felt like there was about 20 pairs of eyes staring at me. It took a couple seconds for me to force my gaze onto Ashton. He looked at me with a smile, his eyebrows still raised at me. He didn't say anything, so my suddenly nervous self kepy talking. "Sorry I'm just..I don't know-"
"Brooke I was just kidding." He said softly. He scooted closer to me, and a little look of worry flashed through his eyes behind his glasses.
"I.." my voice trailed off. "I know. I wasn't phased by it, or anything."
"Really?" Ashton asked. "It sure looked like you were."
"Pft, not at all!" my voice was full of such false confidence. I was actually pretty phased by this whole conversation at this point. Ashton and I both went silent again, and the look in his eyes softened, and I could only feel my cheeks grow redder.
"I know I've asked you this before," Ashton said. "But does that bother you?"
"Bother me?" I asked dumbly. "What does?"
Ashton slumped his head to the side, shooting me a look that said 'you know eactly what I'm talking about.'
I took my bottom lip inbetween my teeth, so I wouldn't accidentally say something stupid. Though I think that's an understatement, considering I have managed to say a lot of stupid things in the past 5 minutes. Ashton looked at me for an answer, and my muscles relaxed a little bit at the fact that he genuinely looked concerned about this.
"Okay," I sighed. "I feel like we can talk about this kind of stuff now, right? Yeah?"
"Course," Ashton replied sweetly.
"Right," I concluded. I honestly have no idea where I'm going with this. I thought about the whole concept of sex, which is something I literally have no fucking clue about. "I just... I don't know. It doesn't bother me necessesarily, because I didn't even know you back then...but at the same time I just got this weird feeling in the pit of my stomach and I don't know if it's jealousy of whoever the girl was or if it's because I feel bad-"
"Feel bad?" Ashton repeated.
"Because I'm so fucking prude!" I couldn't help but bury my face in my hands. At this point, I just felt lame. Ashton is Ashton, right? He's the tough yet sensitvie, attractive guy who doesn't seem to have one once of innocence left in him. He's lucky; I'm the complete opposite. But I instantly looked back up at Ashton as he started to chuckle. "What?" I asked.
"Lovey you're not prude at all," he said. "Like holy shit."
"I'm not?"
"No! Don't you remember like, three or four weeks ago?" Ashton asked, a reassuring smile on his face. My memories went back to what he was talking about, which I think was the last time we both got really drunk in that club and I kinda gave him a lap dance infront of 40 people.
"Oh," I shrugged, pretending like this conversation doesn't give me the chills. "I guess you're right..." my voice trailed off again, and I sighed. "I just... I don't know. Like, I'm seventeen, you know? I just never saw myself doing stuff as intense as we're talking about at this age...or maybe I'm just scared and I'm a wuss. And of course I trust you and stuff-"
"Well when you're ready I'm ready." Ashton said softly, his eyes full of understading.
I was actually a little surprised. Whenever I think of a guy and a girl talking about this kind of stuff, and the girl says she doesn't want to do it or anything, the guy always gets pissed and throws a fit or something. But Ashton seems completely fine and understanding with it, which I find really great, actually. It only surprised me for a moment, though, because I already knew Ashton's one of those sweet, genuine, and undersatnding people.
"Okay," I squeaked, trying not to seem as awkward and lame as possible. Ashton let out another little laugh, scooting closer to me and tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ear. I leaned in and kissed his soft pink lips for a couple seconds, letting his strong arms wrap around me and bring me into his lap.
"Now what do you say we finish this movie," Ashton said softly. "And then we go get some food, yeah?"
"Well knowing us we'll probably just end up going to a McDonald's drive through." I said sarcastically.
"Probably." Ashton's voice broke into a laugh, and he kissed my temple one more time before letting me lay down against him. I stayed quiet for the rest of the movie, even at the depressing parts, as I was just thankful Ashton isn't one of those douchebags that get mad at their girlfriends for not wanting to have sex with them. I thought about the whole concept over and over again for a while, and it felt weird to think about. I don't know how to feel about it all, maybe I just need to forget about it. What's important is that Ashton is fine with me saying I can't do that yet, and that makes me really happy. He knows I trust him, and I do...but I don't know. I really don't know.
Even though I said to myself I should forget about it, I ended up thinking about what Ashton and I just discussed for the rest of the night.