(This chapter is a trigger warning. There are drugs sex and illegal thing in this chapter. Read at own risk)
I could say my life is just perfect the way it is but I would be lying to myself. I like to tell myself everything will be okay an that this is life to deal with it.
Currently for the past who knows long i've been writing down these lyrics for just myself, what else is there to do around here?
I'm coupe up in this room everyday when classes aren't going on. Can't leave the room without being told I can.
I softly began to sing
"Is there a right way for how this goes?
You've got your friends
And you've got your foes
They want a piece of something hot
Forget your name like they forgot
Oh, ain't that something?
Some wanna see you crash and burn
And criticize your every word
I'm trying to keep from going insane
Ain't that the way of this whole damn thing"
I heard a door open causing me to stop singing an hid my book quickly. Chris stood in the doorway looking highly drunk.
He flopped on the bed next to me.
"Oh dear Kellin im sorry" That shocked me how he said that.
He never once ever said sorry for anything anymore is was like he wasn't capable of saying sorry. Like it wasn't programmed into his mind.
"What?"
"Im sorry.. just for everything I've put you through you don't deserve any of this your such a kid. I could latterly do anything to you and you'll do nothing about it. You seem to not care how your heath is or anything. Kellin you need help as do I. You need to talk to someone an stop staying in this room, I need to be in a different room then this so I wont hurt you. I get mad so easily an take it out on others. I cant help it my father did the same thing to me I learned wrong an cant stop myself." He started crying in the middle of saying all of this.
I felt guilt? Sadness? something.
"its fine. It doesn't matter what happens to me I deserve all of this. Your just doing something that was indeed supposed ta be in returned to me by how I act with others." He frowned.
"Kellin. Oh Kellin you've been through so much you don't deserve this at all. You deserve better so much better you take what everyone gives you if it hurts you. I don't need to be hurt. You've done bad in life yes but doesn't mean you mean bad back. Your a bright kid Kellin."
Seeing this side of him made me not want to leave. I don't like him in the way I could but I liked him as a friend I couldn't abandon him like nothing. I feel as if I need to help him.
"Lets help each other."
"What?"
"I'll help you if you let me. An I'll let you help me if that's even possible."
He nooded an cuddled up to my side.
He was out like a light snoring little patterns an making theses tiny little noises that I could say are the most beautiful thing I've heard but they're things about him that make these noises a devil such thing.
I wasn't ganna let this man do anything to anyone else. So here I was thinking to myself that maybe I should just stay here deal with all the pain and words that are thrown at me by Chris just so no one else has to deal with it. I deserve this all. No one else does.
The next morning I woke up to the window being open and a note next to me. Saying "Hey this is Chris so im leaving this note due to the fact I walked out of the room to the bathroom and there was cops standing outside the bathroom looking for me. I swear I know you told on me. Beware what will happen when i get out of this place. I will kick your ass into the next room. I told you not to mess with me and here you go. GO AND TELL ON ME. Watch your back kid."
I sat there wondering who told on him. I wasnt even scared i was relived honestly knowing he wasnt here anymore. It made me feel less stress also made me want to draw on myself so badly.
Maybe I am insane. Selfish? Who knows. I try to help others the best I can well the way my mind process it to help.
Smart is what a person reading my school scores. Now looking at my record you"d say I'm a trouble maker not living up to my potential.
I dragged my fingers down my face as I let out a loud sigh.
Times like this stressed me out most. Not understanding how or what I should do.
I'm not a simple person you can just fix all at once. It's a whole life process. Pills therapy pretending your okay just to make everyone around you happy.
It just doesnt work. Wiping the tear falling from my face I walked out of my room to the basement where the dirt rags hangout.
"Hey man this isn't a place to sleep"
After not realizing it I went into the bathroom to look at my appearance. Gross pale unnatural.
The man proabaly thought I was homeless.
Showed him my cardkey for my room and he moved away.
I only heard about this place from kids whispering in class. It's where you go to get anything and everything.
Drugs booze boygarud hitman sex.
Anything.
Here is where I make the pain go away. Do things i"ll regret and wont get forgiven for.
As I walked through the black hallway I met a door opening slowly there was a few people.
"Welcome. Oh.. hm." He snapped his fingers.
"Kellin. We have been waiting for you. Your quite a record around here. People who know you think your dangerous and the people who dont think your some mysterious person they are scared of you".
This man stood 6"0 ft tall long blonde hair with a "let go" tattooed under his eyes. Hazel eyes with a blue suicide silence shirt on. Eyebrow piercing.
"My name is Hairson. Or you can call me whenever you want" he winked
"I"ll looking for something from 1990's whiskey. Party maybe? I dont care"
He looked up like he was deeply thinking.
"Ah. Got it. I have a party in an hour they will have booze drugs women or men of you are into them. Good party. See me out in the park in thirty dress nice."
Sitting up in my room dressed. Last time I went on someone as a party I got so drunk I black out and found myself outside someones house naked in the garden. At least I was in the backyard. And that the parents didnt see me.
The outside is cold. I thought as the wind blew through my nose.
"Hey Kellin" I heard a soft voice say.
"Victor" i said with not emotion.
"Why you out here in the cold"
I turned to look at him noticing a purple dark red mark on his forehead. It scared me. Is his boyfriend hitting him? Then I stopped to think correctly.
"Going to a party"
He looked a little shocked then put his hand up to his arm.
"I. I got to go. Party where?"
"Its doen west street 38. House 13892. 1130 back door get in" The hazel eye man said.
"Who's your buddie Kellin. Victor? The mexcain tin boy"
Victor just looked a little hurt but it went away fastly as so did he.
Hazel grabbed me and put my into the car. The ride was only a 5 minute drive. By the time we got there people were already naked on the front yard yelling out windows and throwing beer bottles and screaming.
As we got out the hazel man went the other way as I found my way to the booze.
Found a bottle of jack and took it. Walking to the backyard to the pool. Drinking the ugly tasting alcohol just to drown my feeling mind and body.
"Hey" so woman said to me
"I'm Kayelynn" she said as she snagged the bottle.
It wasnt like she wasnt highly attractive but I just didnt Involve myself with women.
Never have satisfied me before.
I heard something shutter.
"Name is Kellin"
"Oh your Kellin" she put her hand on my thigh
I drank many more sips out of the bottle.
"Kellin youno I've heard alot about you"
This would be the last of the night I remember.
●P.O.V Katelynn●
Kellin just kept drinking after drinking. Like nothing was going to stop him this night.
He was a very attractive man. Grabbing the bottle I downed a good amount of it. Having the alcohol highly burn down my throat.
Kellin just sat there as the wind blew his long black hair. His fingers kept twitching so I grab his with mine. Intertwinding them together.
He didn't seem at least bit intrested. So I started running my other hand up his thigh. He finally looked at me.
I wasnt looking for someone to be with for the rest of my life. I came to this party to get laid since I havent lost my virginity and my dad wont quit calling me a whore for what I wear.
So why not just prove what he thinks. Become the whore he keeps thinking I am.
Kellin just went along with the moves I was doing. He didn't seem interested in this.
I sat up grabbing his hand to come with me. Him being quiet came with me. Walking through the crowd of people dancing stripping sniffing drugs drowning bottles of alcohol as Go fuck yourself by Two feet played.
Kellin and I hit the steps after the beat dropped. Having flashing lights everywhere it felt like a movie.
But it was just too outcasts drunk as shit and I high on some coke as well about to get it down in busy.
We hit the room Kellin back a up to the door before I could open it and started making out with me. I could feel tears falling down his face but he was being aggressive.
I knew he didnt want to talk about it and just wanted to get to business.
He smashed his hand into the door as he deepened the kiss.
-warning sexual content-
I stopped us to open the door. Once the door was open he pushed me into the room slammed the door shut and pushed me onto the bed.
The whole rough issue just turned me on even more. He came on top of me kissing my neck and chest area that showed.
Slowing biting my neck and unzipping my dress from the back. We were so into this session
That I just forgot about it. It was in my back pocket the whole time. But I just forgot it.
After getting my dress fully unzipped he pulled me up and ripped it off. Kissing my chest stomach arms neck face slowly and sensual.
I was so into the kisses I didnt realize that my boobs were all out and about.
He started licking my nipples. Twisting licking sucking making all types of noises come out of his mouth.
By this time I was all drunk and lusty I we just both didnt think.
I felt his bone close to my leg. Slipping my underwear off I began peeling his clothes off.
Us being naked to each other I noticed scares upon scares that I kinda freaked me out.
Me in my own head didnt noticed that he was about to go to town. Stuck his middle finger up inside me. Moving it around and adding another finger.
He did that reapeatly for a few mintes then added his tongue scissoring inside of me.
Little moan began slipping out my mouth. He was making my knees feel weird my legs feel like jello and my hips to buckle.
I never felt this pleasure before. Masterbastion was a sin and so was sex before marriage.
But fuck this was wearing my out and he hasnt even suck his dick into me.
He turned me on the my stomach and pulled my ass up.
At first he was doing anal with me. I guess that still doesnt make me a whore. I'm still not a sinner. Girls would do anal all the time to get themselves save.
"K-k-k-k-k" I said out of breath.
"Ahhh just give me."
"Ah! Victor!"
I felt him shout his load into my ass. I didnt care he said another persons name. I just wanted vaginal sex."
"Round two" he nodded
He stuck his dick right into my vagina. I dont even think he knew that he did because he just went back to what he did before.
Moans grunts scratches hickeys teeth cloths everywhere.
I took a swig of the bottle before round three and that was the last I remember of the night.