Chapter Nineteen
I wasn't entirely sure I was seeing right.
May have had something to do with the sword sticking out of my fucking chest.
"Oh my god," Alaric managed, blinking slowly at first before his eyes peeled wide in horror, his hands creeping up to his face, tears filling his eyes and overflowing down his cheeks. A horrid scream ripped out of his throat, and holy shit, that scream was going to follow me into eternity. My ears rang, my vision blurred as my pain became Alaric's. He wailed and dropped to his knees in front of me.
"Oh my god, no! No! Stanton, oh my god, I'm so sorry!" He grabbed at my arms, touched the sword through my chest, like he wasn't sure where to put his hands, and fuck, those tears were streaming down his face like an unstoppable waterfall. I tried to find the strength to lift my arm up so I could touch him, but fuck, nothing was working, my body was shutting down. I could feel the weakness spreading through me, traveling through my limbs. I couldn't even hold myself up anymore, so I slumped forward and Alaric caught me.
At the same time, I heard shouting from somewhere in front of me, indicating the others had found out what was going on. I could hear their footsteps thundering across the floor, feel the vibration of it spread through the floor. I tried to suck in another breath, but I only got blood in return.
"What's going on?! What happened?!" The question came from pretty much everyone around me. I could feel hands on me, feel someone pushing everyone else back. I heard Hades telling everyone to get the fuck back, but Alaric wasn't letting me go. He latched onto me and when Hades tried to pry him off, Alaric slapped him across the face.
"Don't touch him!" Alaric shouted at him. Instead of getting angry, Hades gave him a hard stare.
"Alaric, let go of him. You're not a doctor. You can't do shit about this," he ordered. Alaric teared up further, choking on another sob. He started to tighten his arms around me, but Lucifer was there to coax his hands off me. I felt myself lowered onto my side, and stepping into my view was Rowan and Xiphrus, both of whom looked horrified. And for some fucked up reason, I felt a laugh bubble up my wet throat and more blood pooled out.
"You should... see the look... on your face, asshole," I told Rowan, watching his eyes widen, "I finally got... something out of you." Rowan looked like he was going to hit me, but instead he just put his hands on his face and rubbed at it like he was trying to sand his face off. I wanted to make fun of him for it, but I didn't have any more air left in my lungs.
I was finished.
"What happened?" Lucifer asked Alaric sternly as Alaric wept.
"I heard someone moving around outside the room. I grabbed a sword off the wall and went out there to investigate. I thought it was the shifter. I-It kept coming to me as Stanton. I thought-- I thought-- Oh my god, I killed him! I killed my husband! I killed Stanton!" He broke off into another wail and almost fell, but Lucifer caught him against him and held onto him tightly. He looked over at Hades, who was examining the sword in my chest.
"Do something," Lucifer pleaded. Hades looked up at him with a grimace.
"Lucifer, I can't," he said in a hushed voice, like he was hoping no one could hear him, even though everyone was listening intently, "It's cut through one of his lungs. He's drowning in his own blood and an artery in his heart was nicked. He's bleeding out. If I pull the sword out, he'll die immediately. If I try to heal him with the sword in him, well, you can guess how fucking stupid that would be." Lucifer wanted to scream. I could see on his face, but he knew it wouldn't help. Alaric was screaming enough for all of them.
"So he's going to die," Michael said, and there was a slight tremor in his voice, like he was trying to keep it together, and somehow, I found that fucking weird. Why would he cry over me? I was nothing to him. I was maybe a co-worker, if anything at all.
Hades didn't answer. He didn't need to. The look on his face was enough. He was furious he couldn't do anything. He was clenching his fists so tight, his nails were cutting half-moons into his palms. Lucifer looked like he was torn between holding Alaric and holding Hades. Thankfully, he didn't need to choose because Alaric broke away from him to drop down to his knees beside me. This allowed Lucifer to go to Hades to comfort him.
"Baby, I'm so sorry," Alaric choked, touching his face with his hands before he reached for my face, his hands trembling, "Oh my god, I'm so sorry. I love you, Stanton, I love you, I didn't mean to." His sobs choked off his words, his head dropping down to touch mine. I parted my lips, but no words would come out. I was choking. I was drowning.
Fuck, it was... terrifying. It was cold. I was freezing.
"I don't understand," I heard Hades muttering, "My suit. It's impenetrable."
"You said only eighty percent of the time," came Lucifer's murmur, "It's not your fault, Hades."
"No, you don't understand, that eighty percent doesn't mean time. I mean eighty percent of attack types," Hades insisted, "Swords were on that list. Swords can't penetrate that suit. I know it. I made it. I'm sure of it." I wanted to tell Hades to fuck off. He had nothing to do with this. Shit happened. And how dumb, that I wanted to assure Hades that it was alright.
I'm fucking dying and I wanted to tell him everything was alright, it was all good between us. He wasn't that great of a person. He sucked as a father up until recently, but goddamn, did he work his ass off to do better and even I could admit that. He stopped running away from his kids. He even went out of his way to go visit them. He was making major improvements in his realm. For the first time in a century, his realm was at its highest employment rate, highest graduation rate, and lowest in crime. Thanks to everything he and his kids were doing.
So yeah. Hades was a piece of shit... but he was a decent piece of shit.
I wanted to say that, but my mouth wasn't working. In fact, my vision was fading in and out, growing darker at the edges. My body ached and hurt because I couldn't breath. My hearing was getting wonky, so all I could hear were the murmurs around me and Alaric's helpless sobs, his hands on my face, his face in mine, and I had to smile.
Nah, I wanted to see Alaric's face before I died. I wanted him to be the last thing on my mind. Even with his cheeks flushed red, his eyes puffy and overflowing with tears, he was the most beautiful creature in existence. I was so lucky. I was the luckiest son of a bitch on the planet. All my personal baggage, all these years, all my pain in the ass habits, and Alaric still loved me. He was crying for me because he loved me. And gods, his hands on my face... It felt soothing. I felt the darkness closing in on me. I felt my lips move as I tried to mouth how much I loved Alaric, but a moment later, I found it impossible to move.
I was just too tired. I couldn't move. I couldn't breath.
My hearing was gone. My vision was gone. The last thing I remembered was the scent of Alaric rushing up my nostrils one last time. And suddenly, I felt like I was floating. I could feel my soul lifting out of my body. It was a lightweight sensation, but it only lasted for a moment before I blinked.
And blinked again.
Wait, what the fuck?
I was supposed to be hearing the Source. The Source was supposed to be there to take me away to the other side, the other side where my people and I went when we died. We were the stars in the sky. Burning for eternity, even throughout the endless reincarnations of our universe.
So why the fucking hell was I sitting on top of my own body?
It took me a full moment to realize why.
Joxeia had gotten down on the floor and grabbed hold of my shoulders. He was breathing hard, his eyes narrowed in concentration. I could feel the pulse of his magic coursing through my corpse, spreading up into my soul. I blinked rapidly when I realized what he was doing, and a wave of relief rushed through me.
Holy shit, Jo wasn't letting me go.
"W-What are you doing?" Alaric stammered as Lucifer had moved over to hug him. Jo ground his teeth together.
"Hades, do what you need to do. Get that sword out and do it fast. I don't know how long I can keep this up without accidentally bringing him back and you just killing him again, or my magic just shitting out on me." Hades didn't argue, didn't ask questions. He moved fast, yanking the sword out and spilling more blood on the floor. Alaric made a noise of agony, but Lucifer pulled him against his chest tightly. Beside them, Rowan, Michael, Xiphrus, and Zeus were watching in fascination as Hades worked his magic, healing my corpse.
I looked at them all. I was amazed Hades was doing this without even thinking. I would've expected something along the lines of "no way, I ain't your ho, you can't tell me what to do, I'm Hades, bitch", but it looks like the guy matured in the last few years. Or at least decided to be nice to more than just direct family.
Xiphrus was on pins and needles, breathing hard, like he was caught between having his own panic attack and jumping for joy. At some point, he got on the floor by Joxeia and touched his arm. Joxeia gasped, then looked at his brother, like he was stunned that Xiphrus had basically plugged his magic into Joxeia, to make it easier for him to last.
"He's my son," Xiphrus choked, the tears shimmering in his eyes, "Joxeia, please..."
"We'll bring him back, brother mine," Joxeia whispered back at him, his own eyes reddening around the edges, "Just a couple more minutes. I'm not letting him go. He's my nephew. He's your son. He's Alaric's husband. And it's like you said, Xiphrus... Stanton is Death. He is the one who people see when they pass unto the next life. He is their hope. He is their tether to sanity. The universe may not know it yet, but without him, they would be nothing. The humans rely on him. They need him. As much as we do." Xiphrus nodded tearfully and scooted closer so he could touch shoulder-to-shoulder with his brother while supplying him with power.
Behind them, Rowan was staring at the scene, like he wasn't entirely sure what to do with it all. It looked like the emotional part of his brain was shorting out and he wasn't sure how to react, so he just stood there, frozen in terror, that look still plastered onto his face.
I looked back to Hades, who was repairing the damage to my corpse as fast as he could. His eyes were narrowed in concentration and he blew a lock of hair out of his face as he stitched something shut, then placed his hand over the hole in my back and chest.
"Hurry, I don't know how long I can hold onto him," Joxeia hissed through clenched teeth.
"Trying," Hades ground out. I looked back and forth between them, then grunted as something pulled at me. It wasn't Joxeia. It was something else. There was a tugging sensation on my soul, like it was trying to pull me completely out of my body. I shook my head, trying to latch onto my body.
No! I'm not going anywhere! Fuck that, not ready to die! Not if there was a chance of me living.
I didn't want Alaric to be hurting anymore. I didn't want him to cry. I didn't want him to be miserable and holy shit, I did not want him to have to plan my funeral and cry over my grave. I didn't want him to walk outside at night and stare up at the sky and wonder which star was me. I had seen Joxeia do that enough times in his life, searching the stars and wondering which one was his child, which one was Starkin.
And the night I had come to see Yhwhwa, the night he told me he wanted to discuss my position as Death, as the soul bearer for his people, he stood outside of his small simple home in the fields just outside of the city of Heaven. It was dark, chilly, and he wore thick robing that fell around his body like wisps of fog. His eerie green eyes were cast to the cosmos, like he was searching for Asherah.
I would be damned before I left Alaric down here to do that, especially for that many years. Hell no.
I looked up toward where the tugging was coming from. I could feel a humming in the air around me. All the sounds around me came together in a powerful growl, like the Source itself was arguing with me.
"Fuck you," I shouted, "I am not about to let you fuck me again! You may be the great grand poobah of everything, but I control me! Me! Not you! You don't get to fuck with destinies and then make decisions for everyone else! Your job is to keep out of our fucking business! Now stay out of mine! I'm not leaving Alaric! And you know what? I ain't leavin' Xiphrus either! He's a total prick, but he's still...! Fuck, he's still my blood sire! He's still my father! He is!" I listened to the great hum around me, feeling it rise and send small pulses through the air. It was like watching a static charge flicker around everything, and even the others paused for a moment, like they were bewildered by what was happening.
And a second later, everything went black.
I went from screaming at the cosmos to lying flat on my back on the floor, my eyes opening slowly. And a whole fucking buttload of pain rocketing through me. Air rushed into my lungs and inflated them to capacity, and my body torqued up off the ground for a moment as I gasped sharply. My muscles spasmed like they were being electrocuted. It all happened in a split second, and then I was back on the ground again, trembling and breathing hard.
"Oh my god!" Alaric shouted, shoving away from Lucifer and landing on his knees beside me. Beside him, Joxeia started to get up, but his legs gave out and he crumpled to the floor. Zeus caught him, looking panicked.
"It's alright," Xiphrus told him right away, "This happens whenever Joxeia uses that particular power. Please, just take care of him." Zeus nodded and hoisted Joxeia up into his arms. Joxeia was totally out of it now, his eyes shut and his complexion paler, if that was even possible.
Meanwhile, Alaric was grabbing at my face frantically, tilting my head so I could look at him and I reached up in return, grabbing his face too, stroking his cheeks with my thumbs as he started to cry all over again.
"Oh, Stanton-- Stanton, I'm so sorry--"
"Ssh," I whispered hoarsely, then cleared my throat, leaning in to kiss him gently on the lips, "Baby, it's okay. To be honest, I totally had that coming for a long time now."
"Oh my god, you asshole."
"Yeah, I know, but you'd have missed me."
"I would have. I would've missed you and your weird Russian cologne and your beautiful eyes-- Wait, are your eyes brown?" He asked with a scowl, squinting to study my eyes. I laughed, then tugged him against my chest and he fell against me, his arms going around me. My body protested his weight, but fuck that, I needed to feel him on top of me. I needed to feel his breath against me. I wanted to hear him say my name, wanted to hear his heart beating. I wanted to hold onto him and never let him go.
While Alaric hugged and kissed all over me, I saw Hades moving out the corner of my eye, rising to his feet with the sword in his hands. He was frowning at it. I let Alaric help me to my feet with Xiphrus and Rowan helping him steady me as I wobbled.
"Son of a bitch," Hades cursed suddenly, making everyone look at him, "This sword is coated in some kind of poison. That's why it split through the drakon padding, the hydra layer. It's the only thing that would explain why it penetrated the suit." Alaric looked at him, confused.
"Wait, what? But it was just a sword hanging on the wall--"
"In your room," Hades responded coldly, "Which means someone put it there on purpose. Someone knew you were going to go for it and make a break for it. Someone also knew we were in the building."
"My, my! And here I thought you were just a pretty face." Everyone turned in unison toward the end of the hallway. Standing in the entryway was Viviana, ever beautiful and decked out in head to toe in black and red, from her skintight slinky dress to her tall lace up boots, and the flower stuck in her hair that was pulled up in a bundle of curls on her head. At her side was Tatiana, who wore a very simplistic skintight spandex turtleneck and low slung jeans.
"How nice of you to join us," Hades answered, "I was wondering when you'd show up." Viviana beamed, touching her fingertips together in front of her face, like she was trying to coyly hide how giddy she was about it all.
"Oh, Hades, you're such a charmer. Smart, beautiful, powerful," she mused flirtatiously.
"I'd love to keep flirting, but unfortunately, you tried to kill Death, so I mean," Hades made a measuring motion with his hands. Viviana laughed and Tatiana arched a brow.
"What do you mean tried? We did kill him," Tatiana said. I frowned at that. We? And apparently they missed the part where Joxeia and Hades brought me back.
"Doesn't look dead to me," Hades responded to her, flipping the sword around and jamming it into the floor. Viviana smiled sweetly.
"But he was, just a few seconds ago. His soul may not have made it to the Source, but his body shut down, his soul was prepared to leave. He was technically dead," she explained. I blinked, then looked over at Xiphrus, who had moved so he was standing beside me, fully prepared to rip Viviana's skin off for killing me. Even if it was just for a few minutes.
"Shit," Hades said under his breath. Viviana laughed and Tatiana cocked her head, putting a hand on her hip.
"Yeah. So technically, the event happened. Says nothing about the reversal of it," she pointed out. Weird, I noted. Tatiana was doing an awful lot of talking. She normally didn't. She spoke up once in awhile, but she wasn't the type to blab this much. I narrowed my eyes as a realization occurred to me.
"Son of a bitch," I stated, making everyone look at me, "It's you. You're the shifter. You've been the shifter this whole time." Tatiana looked at me, then a slow smile spread across her face and Viviana pouted, folding her arms over her chest.
"Damn it," Rowan muttered. He looked peeved that for once, he wasn't the one who knew everything. But it made sense; Tatiana was really close to Viviana. Tatiana had been here for a long time. She also never really told me about herself, and while Rowan had done the same, it was easier to get to know Rowan. But not Tatiana. Not really.
"Nice deduction," Tatiana answered, "Took you long enough."
"You're not going to complete that wheel," I said in a low, angry voice, "We're going to find a way to wipe you off the face of the universe. We got rid of Atlan and we can get rid of you too." Tatiana laughed, then came forward. The moment she took a step, everyone whipped out their weapons and pointed it at her. She stopped, putting her hands on her hips.
"Do you honestly think those things will work against me? And how dare you compare me to Atlan," she said indignantly, "He came from me. He is part of me. Only a small fraction of what I am and what I am capable of. He was an incredible disappointment. The universe would've been a much better place for me if he'd succeeded in his endeavors. I would've been the most powerful force in existence. But he let his feelings and emotions get in the way of his success." She paused, looking thoroughly disgusted by the idea of things like feelings. She shuddered for a moment, then pinned us with an annoyed stare.
"Everything was going great until that Menoetius got involved," she muttered, "He was supposed to convert the Key. Instead, he drooled all over the pathetic creature. And his fantasizes about owning all the beasts, controlling them, and having his own little harem of special little creatures. His personal ambitions of what he called love were pitiful. What a waste of time. You get a lot more things done when there's nothing up there to cloud your judgment."
"You're one twisted bitch," Hades deadpanned, "I mean, Atlan was pretty fucked in the head too, but if what you're saying is that you're basically his mother, yeah. You're the queen of twisted shit."
"You're too kind," Tatiana answered drolly, "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a wheel to finish and it's time to move onto the next event." She turned to leave, but Hades pulled the trigger on his gun and shot it at the front in front of Tatiana's feet. Viviana frowned at that and Tatiana turned slowly to stare at Hades, who glared at her.
"One more step and the next one goes up your ass," Hades warned. Tatiana narrowed her eyes.
"I don't have time to play with puny gods," she stated, then flung her hand out and the gun in Hades's hand disintegrated. He didn't let that stop him, though, because he threw a blast her way and she just waved her hand to dissipate it.
"She's too strong here, remember," Zeus muttered to Hades, "This fucking realm is a powerhouse for her."
"And let me remind you," Tatiana tacked on, taking a step closer and this time, Lucifer was in front of Hades like a shield and Hades was grabbing onto his arm to drop it, not that it was working, "I am not confined to your stupid little boxes. I am neither female or male. I am not creature or godling. I am not the little categorizes you make up for yourselves to separate each other. I am not Greek, Egyptian, African, European, American, or whatever other stupid mortal names you use for each other. I am above that. I am above it all. I am the new world order. So do not pin your idiotic labels to my being."
"You're right," Hades agreed, "You're a fucking piece of shit."
"I've had enough of you," Tatiana deadpanned. It raised its hand up and snapped its wrist, flinging its fingers open. A blast of power slammed into us so hard that it knocked my feet out from under me. I grabbed onto Alaric and Xiphrus was on us, covering us from the attack, not that it did much, because he knocked him clean off his feet too. Only instead of slamming into the marble floor of the castle, we landed in a goddamn dog pile just outside the border of Portius.
The soldiers at the gates all shouted at once, several burst out laughing, and why not? We probably looked ridiculous, a pile of limbs and cursing. Xiphrus pushed himself up off me, only to have Hades shove him back down so he could get up. Lucifer managed to wedge himself out, grabbing Michael by the hand and heaving him to his feet. After lots of twisting and discomfort, we managed to get on our feet, and noticed the rest of our rescue squad running toward us past the soldiers.
"You're alive!" Abel exclaimed in relief. He went right to Hades, throwing his arms around him in a hug. Hades looked caught off guard by it, then awkwardly patted his back, while looking at Lucifer, mouthing like this? Lucifer just smiled warily, then opened his arms to greet his own children, who launched themselves at him like a bunch of missiles and it was a miracle he could stay standing with his daughters hanging off him like jewelry.
"That was one fucked up ride," Simon said, walking over to Rowan and taking his hand so they could do a short half-hug. Rowan nodded, reaching up to rub at the back of his neck while bending it from side to side.
"I feel like I need to see a chiropractor now," he muttered. Simon nodded.
"At least Cerberus didn't land on you," he said, throwing a thumb over his shoulder at Cerberus, who held his hands up in surrender.
"Hey, if I knew we were gonna get snatched up in some kind of crazy ass alien abduction, I would've made sure to land on someone else. Maybe Leon," he added, turning to look at his second-in-command, who stared at him for a full minute, then punched him in the stomach. Cerberus grunted, bending over, not quite doubling since he could handle the jab. He laughed and smacked Leon on the back, and Leon just shook his head at him.
"Tatiana's the shifter," Rowan told Simon, who stiffened.
"But how? I could've sworn she was a succubus."
"She played the game well."
"Goddamn. That's a pity," Simon muttered. Rowan gave him a weird look and Simon just smiled innocently.
"We need to get back to the base," Lucifer announced so everyone could hear him, "We need to figure out what the next move is and go on from there." Everyone seemed to agree with that and started disappearing one after another. Zeus stuck around, holding Joxeia in his arms as he approached Xiphrus.
"He'll wake up soon," Xiphrus responded to Zeus's clear concern, "Don't worry. He just needs some sleep. Stay with him, though. You'll be the first one he'll want to see." Zeus nodded.
"Then tell Lucifer he'll have to send someone to give me details on the meeting. I'm just going back to Olympus with Jo."
"Of course." Xiphrus nodded and Zeus vanished with Joxeia a second later. I turned to Alaric, who was rubbing at his head from where he'd landed. I reached up, brushed his hand away and felt for a bump, but he was alright. I smiled and leaned down to kiss him. He kissed me back, putting his arms around my neck.
"I really am sorry, Stanton," he whispered to me when we broke apart, "I didn't mean to hurt you, I didn't want to look into your face when I did it, because I thought it was the shifter, but like... I didn't want to see your face in pain and I just made it ten times worse--"
"It's alright, baby," I murmured, leaning down to touch our foreheads together, and I reached up with a hand to brush the tears away from Alaric's cheeks, "I know. I... sorta fell for that shit too, to be honest. I feel like crap. Cuz nobody can be like you, Alaric." Alaric smiled.
"We'll call it even?"
"I mean, you stabbed me. All I did was accidentally kiss that thing."
"Stanton!"
"Ouch! Jeez, wasn't the stabbing enough-- Ouch! Why did you hit me again?"
"Stop talking, Stanton," Michael said dryly, folding his arms over his chest, "Otherwise, he may stab you for real this time." I rubbed at my arm where Alaric had punched me. Alaric put his arms around my torso and held onto me, squeezing his eyes shut and pressing his cheek against my chest. I smiled, giving up and putting my arm around him. Xiphrus smiled and Michael went to his side to take his hand. I glanced up to see Rowan looking at us, then his eyes darted over to where Xiphrus and Michael were holding hands.
He didn't show it, but I think it brought back some unwanted memories. I started to say something, but he cut me off, like he knew I was going to ask if he was alright.
"Let's get to that meeting. The more we know about this situation, the better," he announced. With a couple nods, we vanished from the front gates and teleported to the briefing room at the base. Everyone was talking and laughing about the trip, apparently most of them having had quite an adventure, and of course some people talking about how fun it was to finally fight something that put up a fight. Although, something told me they were going to eat those words very soon.
"Alright," Lucifer announced, waving for silence as he stood at the head of the table with Hades by his side, "Let's quiet down. We need to let everyone know what's been discovered. Starting with the fact that we have discovered the identity of the shifter, or rather, the identity that it has taken on. Which I will leave up to Stanton, as he's the one who picked up on it first." I nodded to him, then glanced around at the faces around me.
"Tatiana is the name it goes by right now. Tall pretty black woman, but something tells me its going to ditch that disguise soon in order to move around more easily. It's not like us. It's not a creature. It is an entirely different entity altogether. Its goal is to complete the wheel we talked about before. And so far, that thing has gotten halfway through the list. We're down to six more events that could trigger the rebirth of the universe," I explained. Everyone was silent now. Looks of concern and frustration bled through the group.
"We can handle this," Hades said, making a few people look at him skeptically, "What? Come on. We took on the Titans. Not just twice, but three times. We took on Atlan. Twice. We also have our own bullshit that we got through. Stopping a few events? No problem. Killing a shifter? We got this."
"You're strangely optimistic all of a sudden," Michael said dryly. Hades snorted.
"I'm not saying it's gonna be a piece of cake. It's gonna be a huge pain in the ass, like dishes, but they gotta get done and they will get done," he responded. Michael still seemed skeptical, but Xiphrus gave his hand a squeeze. Michael looked at him and Xiphrus smiled.
"So, if they're trying to complete this list then," Cerberus said, "What's the next thing on the list?"
"Open the doors of the monster," Rowan responded, "We have no idea what that means. The translation is very vague. All of the events are. All we can really do is guess and hope we guess better than the shifter." Nobody seemed too enthusiastic with that news. Everyone glanced at each other.
"So, open the doors of the monster," Cerberus repeated, "So, maybe those beast things?"
"They're not monsters," Akin huffed.
"This is fact, not your opinion," Jaques replied dryly.
"Well, what else could it be then?" Cain demanded.
"In case you're forgetting, all the pantheons have their own kind of monsters," Akin drawled, putting his hands on his hips, "You know, like the Greeks have hydras. Atlantis has drakons. And so on and so forth. Maybe it's those kind of monsters."
"Shit," Simon sighed, wiping a hand down his face, "This is gonna be harder than we thought."
"Don't stress about it all at once," Lucifer said, looking around at everyone, "We're off to a good start. We're probably still exhausted from the trip. I think we should all meet back here again frequently to discuss possible ideas and then implement safety measures in case one of them are right. It's all we can do right now. So keep this in mind, everyone. The next step is open the doors to the monster. Now go home, rest, and we'll reconvene tomorrow." Everyone looked more than relieved to head back home.
Unfortunately, we were forced to stick around because Alaric's family wanted to shower him with hugs and kisses. I stood back, watching Akin pick Alaric up off his feet, give him a huge kiss on the cheek, then set him back down and ruffle his hair. Bali and Wednesday laughed, snuggling all over him. Dania gave him a punch to the arm, then yanked him close. Raven and Alaric had a bit of a moment there too. And it didn't surprise me; the last time a Lucifer child had been kidnapped, it had not ended well and I think the incident had traumatized the family. They were all over Alaric, including Lucifer, who cradled Alaric close to his chest. Even Hades stuck around to congratulate Alaric on not dying.
"I like him," Xiphrus said from beside me, and I blinked, turning to look at him to see him staring at Alaric, "He's good for you." I looked over at Alaric, then spotted Michael and Lucifer talking to one another. Lucifer looked like a cross between excited, but nervous. Michael also looked a little out of his comfort zone, but he offered Lucifer a smile, and Lucifer seemed to light up.
"Michael's not so bad," I admitted after a moment, "He's got his issues, but I guess we all do. Glad he's trying to patch things up with Lucifer too." Hell, if Lucifer could forgive Michael for all the shit he did, guess there was still hope for Xiphrus yet. Maybe.
"Stanton," I turned to Xiphrus, who was looking at me now, "I know you don't want to hear me say it, but I feel I have to, because for what's worth, I am sorry. I was blinded by the need for something bigger, something greater. I didn't realize that everything I had was the greatest in the universe, and there was nothing more important. I let someone talk me into something I didn't really believe in, just so I could achieve some fantasy of grandeur. I am sorry that I hurt you. I am sorry that I hurt Rowan. And everyone else. You two and Joxeia, Michael, are all I have in this world in terms of family. And I should like to spend the rest of eternity making up for what I've done."
I stared at him. I expected to get pissed. I didn't need apologies. They were nothing more than words. I didn't need empty promises. I didn't need his family or his excuses.
At least, that's what I would've said a few days ago.
Now, suddenly everything felt different. It was like living through life looking through a tinted screen. In the past few days, that screen had been smashed to pieces and I was blinded by what was on the other side, caught off guard by it all, because I was so used to trashing on people who fucked up. Shit, Jaques's accusations would've crippled me because I would've thought he was right; it was my fault Alaric was taken. Everything was my fault. I wasn't good enough. I didn't try hard enough.
But now that view was gone. I had to pick up the pieces again, but this time, it was different. This time, I wasn't alone. This time, I knew I had Alaric. I knew I had Rowan. Simon. Michael. Xiphrus. The whole Luciferian family.
And why did I want to live the rest of my life as I had been living it? Why did I want to spend all that time being a pain in the ass? Why would I want to wallow in that bitterness? Why would I want to let it poison everything good that I had in the world? Shit happened. Really bad shit. And it wasn't like I was gonna hug Xiphrus, call him daddy, and tell him everything was cool between us. Forgiveness didn't work like that. It was a process, and the end result, I'd seen from everyone in this room actually, was a fucking relief. So, I'd be willing to try it. Besides, I had nothing to lose if Xiphrus turned out not to be the person I hoped he'd be. I'd already dealt with that. And if it happened again, I would deal with it better.
But I couldn't think about that. That was the negative part of me. I wanted to focus on the process. I wanted to maybe go to Heaven and see Xiphrus, check out Michael's new place, get to know them. I wanted to get to the point where I could look Xiphrus in the eye and straight up claim him as my sire. I wanted that kind of relief. I wanted that kind of family.
Life was not easy. It wasn't supposed to be. Otherwise, knowledge would be obsolete.
"So," I said after a moment, and Xiphrus seemed hesitant on my response, "I'm probably not gonna be actively working for the next few days. I have to recoup. You know, I died for a second there and Alaric and I are thinking about putting up a fence around the property. Thinking I might get a dog. So, we'll have a lot of free time to ourselves..." My voice trailed. Xiphrus's eyes widened slightly, like he was caught off guard. He swallowed.
"Perhaps Michael and I could come see you?" He asked. I felt a smile slip onto my face.
"Yeah. That'd be nice. And maybe Alaric and I can pop up there and help you guys reno your house. Cuz, I mean, some of that shit was my fault."
"Don't let Michael hear you say that. I enjoy you alive and him happy."
"Defo," I responded with a nod, and he gave me a curious stare at the slang, "Definitely. Cool. So, uh, I guess I'll see you soon? Call me? I, uh, can put your number in my phone." I took my phone out and had to wipe some leftover blood off the screen before I opened up my contacts and Xiphrus gave me his digits. By the time we were done, he and Michael were ready to take off. Xiphrus gave me a smile before they vanished. I watched them leave, then turned to see Alaric coming up to me.
"That look civil," he commented, linking his arm with mine, and arching a brow suspiciously. I smirked.
"Calm down, I ain't having no big huge family reunion round the pool with some beers. I just told him, you know, the door's open. He can hang out when he feels like it," I replied. Alaric broke into a huge smile and stood on his toes to kiss me on the cheek.
"Good for you, baby. I'm proud of you."
"Let's not throw a party yet. It's gonna take some time."
"I know, but the fact that you're taking this step is reason to celebrate. I am really proud of you, Stanton. I don't know everything that happened over the past fews days-- er, months. However much time has passed. But I want you to know that I'm happy for you. And I love you. And I'm here for you." God, those words were exactly what I wanted to hear. I leaned down and kissed him.
"Oh, right. I wanted you to meet someone a little more formally," I said, then paused to look around with a scowl, "Shit, where'd Ro and Simon go?"
"They left a little while ago," Alaric commented, "I think around the same time Akin and Hannibal did."
"Well, shit. I mean, I know you know Ro's my brother, but..."
"It's alright, Stanton. Some other time. For now, let's go home." I nodded, but I felt a strange nervous tingling in the pit of my stomach.
Was that it?
Was that the last time I was ever going to see Rowan?
I didn't even get to say goodbye, and somehow, that bothered me.
We teleported back to the house and as Alaric went inside, I felt an odd prickling sensation on the back of my neck. I frowned, turning around to look around the front lawn. Totally empty. Up and down the road, everyone was turning in for the day since it was around dinner time. Not even Jackie was out, peeping at me from her porch. It wasn't a threatening sensation, though. Nothing bad. So I stood there for a while, then sighed as I went to the door. I paused before turning back to study the empty street.
"Ro, if you're out there... Don't get yourself killed. Please."