Disclaimer: This chapter will be written in the third person. I thought I'd try something different.
He waits patiently, pacing up and down the space between his bed and his wall. He'd been awake painting for hours, the nerves creeping up his spine wouldn't allow him to sleep. His excitement for Harley coming over was practically bouncing off the walls.
Instead of just waiting around in his bedroom, Parker decides to do distract himself for the time being and enters his drawing room positioned in the attic. It's the only room in the house where he can get alone time, away from his mum, away from Rose, away from his thoughts, away from the world.
Last night, he had been on the phone to Harley- Blair for hours.
He was so surprised when he answered the phone and heard her voice especially seeing as she was just on his mind seconds before.
Her voice enchanted him so much that he couldn't help but sketch her from memory as she spoke.
He let his hands guide him across the sheet of drawing paper, it came so easy to him. It was like he was in a different world when he drew, time had no meaning when his stencil hit the page. He liked this feeling. He loved this feeling.
His drawing-room was littered with sketches and drawings of people, scenic landscapes and an array of Marvel characters especially his childhood favourite Spider-man. Zachy loved to call him childish whenever he caught Parker in the common room sketching little cartoon-style drawings of Spider-man fighting his villains.
Parker would always argue that Spider-man was far from childish but Zacchias would never hear him out. Parker didn't care though, Spider-man had a whole different meaning to him and not just because they had the same name.
A few were of friends from school who had requested self-portraits like Zachy and Cassie but the ones that stood out the most were of Harley-Blair.
He spent time drawing her with such precision, making sure every detail was perfect. He'd always start with her eyes.
He'd master getting that perfect cat-like shape of her eyes and those excessively long, curly eyelashes she had. Then he'd move on to the wide nose she hated but he found so beautiful. He spent hours making sure every stroke of his brush was precise as he painted the curves of her jaw. He'd then fill out the fullness of her face capturing the childlike essence of her chubby cheeks. The smoothness of her dark brown skin, radiating the room with her smile. Finally, he'd end the portrait with that smile.
Oh... her smile.
It made him melt with pleasure, thinking about it now.
It was flawed but perfect in a peculiar way and everything about it made Parker crush harder for Harley.
His Art teacher, Miss McCarthy had always compared him to other Italian artists and had frequently told him that he had the potential to become the next Michelangelo Buonarotti or Giovanni Bellini. She knew about his plans to attend Accademia di Belle Arti di Firenze in Florence, Italy after completing his A-levels. One of the greatest fine art universities in the world and it would give him the opportunity to get closer to his culture. Maybe, he'll find out more about his dad and his family. The only downside to getting a scholarship to another country was leaving his ma and sister here. Who was going to take care of them when he was gone?
He was constantly fighting that battle in his head. Should he focus on his future or their future? He didn't know which one was more important to him.
He thought about clearing up the mess in the room but decided against it. He wanted Harley to see him in his true, raw form. To let her see for herself that he wasn't perfect either. That he was also flawed.
He runs down the stairs, bare feet slapping against the wooden floorboards and checks on his sister, Rose. Rose has cerebral palsy so her speaking abilities are limited and she has to spend the rest of her life in a wheelchair even though she's only 20. Doctors said she wouldn't live past the age of 15 but she's exceeded their expectations. She's a strong girl just like her mamma.
She's in her chair, watching reality shows on the television. Parker's mum hates it when they watch the telly, she thinks it's rotting their brains but Parker doesn't mind, as long as Rose is happy and mamma never finds out.
He watches some overly tanned ladies argue with each other on the screen for a while with her, sitting on their dark brown leather sofa and holding her soft hand so she can feel him beside her. He frequently rescues the dribble that escapes her mouth with a napkin whenever she gets too excited which was a lot whenever he was around.
Rose is the spitting image of their Mamma. They have the same mousy brown hair and tanned olive skin. The same round green eyes and small lips. Parker assumes he looks more like his dad although he can barely remember him. He was only 5 when his father left them for a younger divorced woman and moved back to Italy.
His parents were both Italian immigrants who came to this country in search of a better life. They got married when they were 19 and had Rose and Parker here in Beaumont. When their marriage broke down, Parker's father abandoned their mother as well as the children.
There used to be pictures of him in the house so he has some sort of idea of what he looks like but his mum took them down a while ago and put them away in the basement.
He stands up to get Rose some water from the kitchen just as the doorbell rings. He quickly grabs the bottled water from the fridge and races to open the door, almost tripping on a loose floorboard.
Standing in front of him, as he opened the door, with a bright yellow helmet balancing on a full head of disobedient coils was the one and only person he wanted to see right now. Her cheeks were flushed red and she looked slightly out of breath as if she had been doing some sort of athletic activity. Her cheeks plump and stretched out in a wide smile. A tingling sense of happiness spread through Parker's body as he stared down at her.
"Hi," She says, gently removing the helmet and placing it under her arm. "I'm not too early, am I?"
"No, of course not. Welcome to my humble abode," He says in a failed attempt at an American accent. "Nice helmet, it reminds me of the sun on a rainy day." He smirks at her knowing it would make her laugh.
She blushes and allows herself to laugh and it was a sound so free and pure that it made Parker realise how long ago it was that he had heard someone laugh in this house.
"That accent was horrid, don't you watch any movies?" She teases, but she comes inside anyway.
"I'm more of a book person I'd say."
She looks around, taking in the experience. She couldn't believe she was in a boys house! Especially a boy like Parker. She looked him up and down, he was wearing a white vest top which exposed his bare skinny arms and black Nike jogging bottoms. Very casual. He looked like he'd just rolled out of bed but in a way he was still wildly attractive. She suddenly felt slightly overdressed in her lilac blouse and white tennis skirt. She thought her knees looked too nobly or maybe her calves were too fat and even tried tugging it down a little bit when she saw the way Parker was looking at her, she felt all her anxious thoughts dissolve in his gaze.
He guides her into the spacious living room and instructs her to sit down on the sofa. Her thighs immediately stick to the leather. He proceeds to feed his sister water which kept dribbling out and falling onto her top. He sighed in frustration. He didn't want to look like a fool in front of Harley.
"Do you want me to help?" She asks. He looks away and appears to be deep in thought for a moment before he eventually nods. She takes the bottle from his hand and gently lifts Roses chin with one hand. She tilts her head upwards slightly and pours the liquid in her mouth, it goes down gracefully.
Afterwards, she pats Rose's mouth dry and whispers in Rose's ear to which she giggles back happily.
"How did you do that?" He watches her closely. Wanting to see a sign of judgement on her face or even disgust or discomfort for being so close to his disabled sister. That was the usual reaction. People are generally uncomfortable around the disabled. They stare, they point, they talk, they laugh. He felt guilty about being embarrassed when he was younger. He loves his sister, she taught him how to be caring and how to appreciate life. He could never be with someone who'd treat her badly.
But instead of squirming away, she was smiling sweetly at Rose like they both knew a secret that the world will never find out.
"You're not the only one who has to take care of someone, you know." She whispers so Rose wouldn't hear. She remembers when pops was in a severe reactive depression and she practically had to feed, clean and take care of him like a newborn child. He quit his job as a stylist and barely moved from his bed for months after Papa died. It's only recently when he's been able to work from time to time but that's only because his company is super patient with him. He's lucky. Some others aren't as lucky as him.
They look at each other. Like really look at each other and she saw something she hadn't seen in a long time. Understanding.
All this time, she thought they were so different but right now she felt as if they were one and the same. Wishful thinking.
He squeezes her hand softly, she hadn't even realised that they were holding hands until then. She was comfortable. It felt warm and filled with acceptance. Something she had no idea she craved.
She squeezes back.
"So where'd you want to start?" He asks her, biting his lip ever so slightly. She slowly turns her face towards him, biting her lip as well. After a second they both burst out laughing, they were both so nervous it was dumb. For a second, she forgot why she was here.
"Let's go upstairs," he suggests. "Rose'll be fine down here."
She hesitates, a flicker of worry crosses her face. Going to a boys room usually meant one thing.
"Do you trust me?" He looks her deep in the eyes, undressing her mind with just his gaze.
That question alone carried a lot of hidden meaning.
She knew it.
He knew it.
He looked so earnest, how could she decline? She wanted more than ever to be accepted and she was sure that he truly wasn't going to hurt her.
"Okay." She tries to say casually but inside her heart was pounding against her chest like a captive bird trying to escape a cage.
She took his hand, nervously biting her lip. He squeezed it gently again and she follows him up the stairs.
Once they get to the landing he turns to her and says "I want to show you something first."
He felt like he could trust her more now, after seeing how she was with Rose and after hearing her say she trusts him.
So he led her into the attic, then immediately blushes when he realises how messy it truly looks.
Paint was splattered on the walls in different arrays of colours. An accidental rainbow.
There were discarded pieces of drawing paper strewn all over the floor and many pieces of his art hung carelessly up on the walls.
Solely, in the middle of the room was his Drawing Desk where he would spend hours on end sketching and painting passionately when he couldn't sleep. No feeling in the world could compare with the way he felt when he drew. It was as if a spirit took over his body and made everything feel good. It was better than crack.
She gasps and clasps her hands around her cheeks. "Is that...me?" She walks slowly ahead of him, gazing dreamily at all the pieces of art, and stops at this one particular painting. An oil painting of a young woman with tear-stained cheeks and white clouds where the mouth should be. The huge, unmanageable Afro shielding her beckoning brown eyes.
She couldn't believe it. He painted her. His brushstrokes were so delicate and elegant like he focused on each one making sure it was faultless. The colours were vivid and eye-catching. He made her beautiful. Harley wished she had her camera on her so she could capture this moment forever before it gets lost in her memories.
He blushes. Now he knows for sure that there's no going back. To look busy, he starts tidying up, the embarrassment getting to him. He couldn't stand being there when people looked at his work. He was too scared of what they would say.
As he picks up the littered newspapers, he wonders what she's thinking. He glances at her quickly and meets her eye.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have-" He blunders tentatively. What was he thinking? This must be some type of creepy and what if she doesn't even like it?
Before he could think anymore, she runs over to him and pulls him into a tight embrace.
"Thank you," Her voice wobbles like she was about to cry but no tears were falling from her eyes. "For making me beautiful."
"You are beautiful, Harley," He says, softly into her neck. And he meant it. He truly does.
He says nothing more. He didn't need to, there wasn't a need to fill the silence with anything so they just stood there hugging. Feeling her chest rise and fall softly against his.
"We should get started on this whole speaking thing," He says, regretfully after a few moments passed. He wishes he could stay just holding her but he knew it didn't work like that. She came here for a reason which was to focus on her speech. He had to give her what she came here for and not what he wanted.
She simply nods her head and wipes her eyes with the sleeve of her blouse. She glances back into the room and looks at the other portraits of people from school, discarded carelessly on the ground then back up at hers, hung up on the wall neighbouring only itself.
Half an hour later, Harley was sprawled out on Parker's hilariously childish Spider-Man duvet staring at the white ceiling above her while Parker was sitting cross-legged on a maroon coloured wool rug on the floor. They had spent the time just talking about trivial things. Harley was a little surprised at how funny Parker was.
"Come on!" She laughs. "You've got to be joking me, mate."
"It's true," He says, dropping a crystallised cherry into his mouth. "Never had these cherry sweet things until now, isn't this the stuff they put on top of iced buns?"
Harley nods enthusiastically at him, licking her lips.
"I mean, it is something my grandma probably would've eaten when she was a child," He taunts, while Harley throws a web-designed pillow at him, he dodges it just in time so it hits his wall instead.
"Are you calling me a grandma?" She raises her eyebrows at him. Somehow, the topic of conversation drifted away from public speaking and into a debate about snacks.
Nearly everything in his room was heart coloured. It gave the room a sensual feel even though the moods in the area were uncertain.
This guy really has a thing for Spider-Man, she thought.
"Okay, but you have to try peanut butter on ritz crackers, they're the best," He urges, his tooth beginning to slightly ache from all the sweet stuff. "In fact, I'll be right back"
He jumps up and jogs out of the room. While he's gone, she takes the time to study his room properly and to absorb everything that's just happened.
There were posters on the wall, but not the kind you'd imagine a teenage boy to have. Not of girls in bikinis with their boobs out but pictures of broken glass on an electric red background and various posters and drawings of Spider-Man. She observed the picture carefully, it was amazing. It looked like something she could recreate one day. The colours were sharp and vibrant and the shards were at an angle that made the mind wonder what the metaphor behind the picture was. She really wished she had brought her camera with her.
There were also a few paint splatters on the wall, but it looked organised not like it was an accident. Like it was meant to be there. She spotted some hand-painted orchids in odd corners of the room.
Most of his clothes were just in a messy pile on a chair in the corner of his room while his wardrobe looked visibly unoccupied.
Boys.
The only thing that wasn't red in the room was his door it was baby blue. It was probably the first thing you'd notice in his room. It was the first thing Harley did.
She heard him before she saw him. His feet thundering up the stairway and entering the room. He was holding a plate of Ritz crackers with peanut butter in-between each one and he smiled a big toothy grin like a child that has just been told that they were going to Disney World.
"Sorry I took a while." He sits back down on the floor and hands Harley the plate. "I tried to get Rose to eat some as well but she absolutely hates it." He chuckles, lightly.
He watches her eat the crackers, anticipating her reaction. "Stop watching me, please." She asks. She suddenly felt very aware of his eyes on her, watching her so intently.
He politely turns away. "Sorry." He pretends to inspect the pile of clothes while waiting for her to finish.
"I like it." She smiles, it tasted of sweet and salty peanut which she assumed he mixed with honey and the crunch of the Ritz cracker added to its special taste. The room abruptly felt warmer to Parker.
Her face wasn't anything extraordinary or significant, and yet, somehow he felt magically draw to those serious and silent features. The way her nose was slightly chunky and her eyes were sunken in. Though she always avoided his gaze, he couldn't help but notice her clean skin and lack of makeup, along with her always messy hairstyles. Perhaps some would consider her to be nothing special but to him, she was breathtakingly beautiful.
He chews, thinking to himself before saying. "You know this whole learning to talk to people thing?"
She nods, still munching on the crackers. She forgot about that. That's the whole reason she even came there.
He turns back around "I think you've already got that in the bag," He says as earnest as he possibly can. "Stop trying to change yourself for the benefit of other people, just be you. Make yourself the priority. You matter, not them... always remember that. I wish someone would've told me that sooner."
Parker knows that while he's at school, he puts on this Façade.
Everyone imagines that he's this happy go lucky dude all the time but that's not always the case. No one ever asks if he's okay, it's always him asking them. Everyone just assumes that he is because he smiles through it.
No one knows that he wakes up at 5 am to check up on Rose, praying with all his might that she's still there in her bed, breathing. Then getting her ready for the day, bathing her, brushing her teeth, dressing her then driving her to his aunts' house all before his mother wakes up.
He doesn't want her to leave them as his dad did so he does everything in his power to make sure the stress was on him and not his mum. She didn't deserve it.
He's going to make sure Harley never feels this way because the worst feeling is knowing that you're not okay and that nobody cares.
He knew that prying open her shell was not going to be easy, but he knew it would be worth it. He was going to help her see that being herself was the best thing she could be.
"Thanks." She whispers, playing with the ends of her curls. Why would he say something like that? Especially to her?
"So, HB- Can I call you HB?" He laughs nervously.
"You already do," She says, sarcastically rolling her eyes even though her mouth was smiling. "Do you mean HB as in the pencils?" She giggles, still fascinated by the ends of her hair.
"I'm gonna call you pencils instead from now on," He smiles. "Cheers for that idea." He beams.
"That'll never stick," Harley states, rolling her eyes but secretly she's enjoying the fact that he's given her a nickname. It made her feel special.
"Whatever, Pencils." He shrugs, a teasing glint in his eyes.
She walks over to him and gently shoves him on the shoulder, surprising herself with the sudden surge of confidence.
"Hey!" He laughs, clutching his shoulder. "You have an abnormal amount of strength for such a small person."
"Best things come in small packages, they say!" She squeals as he tickles her. His hands moving in quick motions across her torso.
"Hmm, what about Blair-bear? I quite like that nickname." He says.
Harley flinches. That's what Papa used to call her. "Not Blair-bear."
"Hey hey hey," Parker stops tickling her immediately and looks at her, scared that he's done something to offend her. "Did I say something wrong?"
She rubs her shoulder and tries to shake it off. "No, I'm fine...Just not Blair-bear. Okay?"
"Okay." He smiles, reassuringly at her. "How about we go watch a movie or something downstairs with Rose."
She smiles warmly at him. "I'd like that, Spidey," She says as she loops her arms through his.
"See, now that will never stick," Parker says.
She was so happy she forgot all about her fear of socialising, that didn't seem to cross her mind when she's around Parker.