CHAPTER 39
CLAIRE
"Hello. Yang, is it?" I ask the woman sitting behind the desk. I remember her eyes, and I recall the time when I woke up after what felt like a heavy sleep. The first thing I saw were those stunningly narrow, slanted eyes.
"Claire," she says, a seemingly forced smile appearing on her face. She puts down the pen she was holding, standing up to greet me.
"What can I do for you?" She asks after shaking my hand. I am still shivering.
When I realized that Michael never got on the plane, I must've called him 30 times. After half an hour messaging him on every platform, trying ever possible way to reach him from my phone, I knew I had to go to further lengths.
But it was close to midnight, and I had to wait until the next day. It's 8 o'clock, and I haven't gotten a minute of sleep.
I hate to think of the possibilities of his disappearance, because all the scenarios that have played out in my mind are those of horror. But I always come back to one, that he was taken and that... He's not safe.
"I wanna report a missing person," I breathe as I close my eyes. What could have happened to him at the airport? I saw him walk in, but I turned away and got in the car before he got through security. Something must have happened him before, because it's close to impossible to abduct someone beyond that point. Plus, the person who took him couldn't have gone through security. I open my eyes, and Yang's eyes are wide.
"Is it Harry?" She asks in a sharp exhale.
"No.. It's Michael Bretman, my best friend," I tremble, my voice breaking. I feel Niall's hand slide over my shoulder, and he kisses my temple.
"It's gonna be alright," he whispers lowly, and I try to believe him. Bit that seems unlikely right now.
"What happened to him?" Yang asks.
"I dropped him off at the airport two days ago, but his mum called and she told me that he never got on the plane," I explain, and I sit down not to lose balance. I'm starting to get dizzy.
"He's still in New York, and I don't know where, or... who with," I say, my face darkening as I bob my head down. I catch a glimpse of Yang's eyes before I close mine, and I get a feeling that her thoughts all go to the same person who I've been thinking about ever since I realized he was missing.
"Zayn," Yang nods, sitting back down in her chair and types something into her computer.
"He was spotted two days ago, walking into a drugstore" she says, getting a focused look in her brown eyes.
"I've got a copy of the receipt," she says, pulling out a small piece of paper from a drawer under her desk. She slides it towards me, and I pick it up.
On it, are various over-the-counter drugs and medicine, and my brows furrow as I reach the bottom of it. What is this supposed to do?
"These are harmless individually," Yang says, and a few seconds pass before I realize what this means.
"But we've consulted a drug informant, and he told us that these mixed together a long with a few other illegal drugs, creates a powerful tranquilizer." She reveals, and my gut slowly sinks. He used that on Michael.
"That's most likely what he used on your friend, and I fear that if that's the case, Michael is in grave danger," she confirms and I have to clench my hands around the arms of the chair to not pass out.
"How do we find him?" Niall asks, rubbing my back. I think he notices that I can't talk. I am so scared.
"We have tried for weeks, he's good at covering his tracks," she sighs, rubbing her eyes.
"There is one person involved that is familiar with Zayn's ways, and got close to finding him last time he abducted someone," she says, raising her brow at Niall. I take a few seconds to stare at her eyes and examine her words before I realize who she means.
"Harry."
•
"Are you seriously considering going back to that apartment?" Niall questions as I rush down the stairs.
"If Harry can help me save Michael, then of course!" I say, surprised that he would even ask. I exit the building, zipping up my leather jacket and running over to Niall's car.
"Please drive me?" I say, and he catches up with me, putting his palm on his forehead.
"Ugh, Claire! Just let the police do their job, and stay away from him!" He scoffs, and I shake my head.
"What? How could I even consider not going to any and every length to save my bestfriend, who is in danger because of me?!" I say, frustration growing out to my every limb.
Niall turns quiet, staring at me for a few seconds before I see a small tremble in his bottom lip.
"It's happening again," he whisper sharply in disbelief, slicking his hair back. I stay confused for a moment before his eyes lock on mine.
"You're gonna leave me all over again," he shakes his head, making my heart ache.
"What? No... Niall, Harry may have a way to find Zayn, which means he can help me save my bestfriend. Don't make this about us, it's just not." I explain carefully, approaching him. My every thought revolves around Michael, but I put a pause on it to reassure Niall. I put my hands on his waist, pulling him close and squeezing him tightly.
"Don't worry, Niall. Just please take me to Harry," I say, closing my eyes. I feel his chest rise, taking a breath. I back up, and see him nod slightly.
"Ok."
As we get in the car and make our way down town, my heartbeat accelerates. Zayn has his hands on Michael, and my gut drops when I think of the lengths he went to last time. He tried to kill me. I can't live with myself if Michael dies.
Hopefully Harry can help. Hopefully Harry will help. I consider for a second that Harry won't help save him, because of their disagreements and their resentment for each other, but I quickly put that thought to rest. Harry isn't that heartless. I know he isn't.
"Will.. you stay out here?" I ask Niall carefully as he parks the car. He looks over at me, his eyes filling with disappointment. This will be so much easier... If Niall doesn't come with. He nods with dark eyes, and I get out of the car.
I almost run towards the entrance, pulling at the glass door in a quick sweep. I tap my foot nervously in the elevator, scared of what I'll see when I enter the apartment. Harry did not take it well when I left, and from what I've heard he's had a problem with resorting to drinking. When the doors slide open, it seems so slow due to the sight of Harry, passed out cold on the marble floor, a shattered pieces of glass surrounding him.
"Harry!" My throat tightens and I shout in a strangled yelp, as I run over to him, carefully stepping on what seems like a broken whiskey bottle.
"Harry!" I try again, grabbing ahold of his shoulders, shaking them.
A heavy weight lifts off my shoulders when I hear his moan, and see his eyes widening into a squint.
"Claire," he says, the corner of his lips lifting, making a small smirk. His whole body reeks of alcohol, and I can tell from his weak eyes that he is drunk as can be.
"Claire," he repeats, lifting his upper body in a struggle. I am caught completely off guard when he puts his hand firmly on my neck, bringing my lips against his in a hard, yet uneasy kiss.
I try to push him off, but he places a hand on my waist and brings me even closer, despite my efforts. In a panicked state, I bite his lip to stop him. His grip on my weakens and I manage to push him off, and he falls to the floor again. I see his eyes widen as his eyes land on mine again, and his lips part slightly. He licks his bottom lip as he leans up again.
"You're really here?" he breathes, reaching his hand out to me again. But he stops himself, stumbling to his feet. I get up also, helping him to stand upright.
"I'm so sorry," he says, and my brows furrow. He's so drunk that he thought this was a dream?
"I... was dreaming about you and... I'm sorry," he shakes his head, and I'm surprised that he's able to form a sentence, given the state he is in.
"It's okay."
"Why are you here?" he asks, walking over to the couch with unsteady knees. I follow him, walking around the puddle of whiskey and glass. He looks really worn down. I wonder how much he has been drinking the last few days, it seems like a lot. His eyelids are a bright red, his face is pale and heavy, his eyes bloodshot and his spirit weak as ever. It hurts to see him this way. Because I know it's my fault.
"Zayn took Michael," I blurt. I feel like I have to say it quickly, and not give into the pain I feel from that fact. Like ripping off a band-aid. Harry's fists clench immediately, his face darkening, his posture crouching.
"Yang said you were close to finding him last time," I continue, looking down at my hands, my fingers nervously intertwining.
"I know you don't owe me anything, but..." I say, my voice pitching when a lump forms in my throat. Even though I can't see them, I feel his stare on me.
"Please help me," I whimper, a single tear falling from my cheek. I don't want to seem weak, but I'm desperate.
"Stop your crying," he says like an impulse, reaching his hand to mine. I begin to realize that he's not as drunk as I thought he was, he probably just woke up from being passed out for a few hours.
"Of course, Claire."
I feel my mouth widen into a smile as I wipe away my tear. I clench my hand around him, nodding carefully.
"Thank you."
•
•
"William!" I say, as my face grows pale. Oh, I forgot to cancel today's session.
"Hello! Are you ready?" he asks, and I look over at Harry and Niall in the kitchen. I walked over to the elevator to see who it was. Niall came up after I had explained everything to Harry, and they are currently doing some research on Zayn's whereabouts. I'm glad Harry said it was okay that Niall joined, although I sensed a hint of nausea when I told him that I'm staying in his hotel room. I have a feeling he is doing everything in his power to act fine, more then he really is.
"Oh, I don't... You see, something happ-" I try, before Harry walks over and interrupts.
"One second," he says to William and pulls me aside. I see Niall in the corner of my eyes watch me intently, as Harry stares into them.
"We've got this covered Claire, you can have your session," he says, and I immediately shake my head.
"No, I want to help," I say.
"There is not much you can do, Claire. I'm looking into the receipt you gave me, and you can spare an hour for your session, this is your recovery we're talking about," he says firmly, gripping my arm.
"45 minutes," I argue, and he smiles slightly.
"50," he leans forward slightly, and I nod.
"Fine."
William and I sit down in Harry's office, and I offer him a glass of water.
"Ok, so..." he starts, pulling out his notepad and clicking his pen.
"How are you?" he asks and I restrain myself from rolling my eyes.
"My best-friend was abducted yesterday by my abuser, Harry was passed out in a puddle of whiskey and shards of glass when I got here, Niall is afraid I'll leave him for Harry and move back in like I did in California, but other than that I'm okay." I say, and William's lips purse together.
"Good?" he says, smiling with uncertainty.
"You said Niall is afraid that you'll leave him for Harry?" He asks with confused eyes.
"A lot has happened since we talked last," I shrug.
"I see... How are you feeling now that you are out of the apartment?" He asks, and I look away, towards the window.
"I'm feeling... much better."
"Better how?" he questions, scribbling in his notepad.
"Well since being away from Harry, I haven't experienced any of the side effects, and I haven't experienced any anxiety at all. My memory hasn't recovered at all in that time period, though," I explain, staring at the foggy New York morning.
"So when you were with Harry, you were having anxiety, but your memory was recovering?" He asks, and I nod. I have thought about this a lot. Do I have to go through that to get my memories back? Do I even want them?
"What were you remembering?"
"The first few days I moved in here, I remembered painting a portrait of Harry, but after that, it was things from being held captive by Zayn. Harry got paranoid that he would get to me, and he locked me up, had bodyguards follow me around and... he got very possessive," I shrug, and William nods. I can tell he's thinking thoroughly about my words, and I grow curious on what he thinks.
"What?" I say, furrowing my brows.
"Well..." he starts.
"You said that you remembered things about Zayn, while being in the presence of Harry. It happens to quite a lot of people that go through traumatic experiences... Their mind places your negative thoughts, your fear and your hatred of your abuser onto the closest person in your life," he explains.
"It seems to me that you tied those horrific memories of Zayn to Harry, and that is why you were having anxiety in his presence," he says, and I feel my jaw get heavier.
Could it be that all my negative thoughts about Harry, were really subconscious thoughts about Zayn?
Ever since Zayn broke into the apartment after I got back home, there was a shift in Harry. The day before that happened, we were on a date and things were going so well. I was convinced that I would fall in love all over again. But then Zayn broke into the apartment and worsened my condition by sneaking drugs into the food. I kissed him, and after that night, Harry became the jealous, possessive, insensitive man I know him as now. But it was all because he was scared.
When I wanted to leave the apartment, and Harry wanted to keep me here, he said "That's it Claire, you leave me no choice." The sentence is engraved in my mind, after remembering the time Zayn said that right before he decided to kill me. I can't believe this. All of the pieces are coming together, and I get a clear view on what has happened in the last few days.
"I told you how Harry has an unhealthy obsession of claiming you, and that is true. That is why he got a heart attack, I think. Because the way he cares for you, the way he wants you, the way needs you, it's borderline abnormal. A relationship with him will never be easy," he says calmly. That would also explain why he punched Michael.
"But you fell in love with him once before, right? I think what has prevented you from doing it now, is the side effects of the drug, and that you started tying your subconscious thoughts about Zayn onto Harry," he explains.
"It could be... But, there's one thing I'm wondering about. Niall and Michael threw me a birthday party and Zayn somehow got into the venue. And I got scared. I had never gotten scared of him before," I say, realizing how I never got the answer to that question in the back of my mind.
"Was Harry there?" William asks.
"No, not for the entire day, and the encounter with Zayn was near midnight," I say.
"Well, there you go. By distancing yourself from Harry, you were able to channel your buried feelings and fear for Zayn, onto Zayn again. It was a healthy reaction."
"So distancing myself from Harry will make me better?" I question, leaning forward in my chair.
"I didn't say that. If you regained your memories, all of your feelings for Harry would return, and your anxiety and the side effects would improve. That is one way to do it, stay with Harry and go through more potential difficulties and anxiety, and get your memories back."
"Or, you could stay with Niall, experience little to no anxiety or side effects, and never get your memories back. It's your choice in the end," he says, and I rub my eyes to process all of this new information. Things are so much clearer now. William leans forward, clicking his pen.
"It's all up to you."
A/N
Hey people! Thank you for reading, I hope you liked it. :)
This story has 11 (!!!!) chapters left, and boy are you guys in for a W I L D ride! can't wait for it all to go down...
See you in the next one! xx