The shivering figure in my arms comforted me, as well terrified me. She's so scared and so unwary of everyone and everything right now. I can almost physically see the childish nature of her life draining from her body and it's all my fault. I wish I could change the way things went, turn back time, not keep my promise of going to that rock and kept her safe from this place, but yet...we're here.
"Alright, you're all good, Amy. Is there any other part that is hurting?" the EMT asks to the shaking girl on my lap as we sit, bandaged, in the back of an ambulance.
Amy looks up at the lady speaking and gives her a light, although very halfhearted, smile. "No. I'm okay. Thank you." she says quietly.
"Okay, well then I'll go check on your other friends then." the lady smiles before walking away, leaving just me and Amy alone for the first time in a while.
When the cops arrived, they were quick about getting in and looking for Amy when I told them she was still in there. Not too long after, they brought her out and she quickly ran into my arms. I haven't let her go yet...I'm afraid if I do, that someone else will take her away from me. I'm just glad that she only has small scrapes, although I'm still pissed she got even that. She still didn't have a lot to wear so she has spare clothes Tyler thankfully had in his car, but she's totally swimming in them. She doesn't seem to mind wearing his giant sweat pants and simple tee shirt though.
We haven't had a chance to speak a lot though. We've been pretty busy with EMT's and giving our statements to the cops. I'm glad this is over, and that we can leave soon. But I can't shake it...this is all my fault that Amy is in this situation.
"I'm sorry." I barely breathe the words.
Amy turns her head and gives me a shocked look. "What do you mean?" she questions.
"You wouldn't have gotten into this trouble if it hadn't been for me. I should've never come back to the rock. You would be happy and safe in your old life if I hadn't." I shook my head and looked away. A lump found it's way into my throat and I didn't even want to look her in the eyes anymore. She was too precious for such a horrible world full of horrible people.
Oh...I wasn't expecting the arms that threw themselves around my neck. I held her even closer as she buried her head in my shoulder.
"Don't say that." she whispered. "Don't you dare ever say that again!" I could hear the heaviness in her voice that probably resembled mine with the lump in my throat. "I was so unhappy in my life, gated and alone, with no one to love me. Not even family. But then you came to the rock...and...you make me happy, Mark." She leaned back, grabbing either side of my face with her small hands, "You made me happy when I hadn't been happy in years...decades... you changed that for me and you make me feel...loved." The smile that filled her teary eyes shot right through to my heart.
I did my best to return the smile, but with a half swollen face it was a bit difficult. "Even after everything that happened tonight...." I began, now realizing how difficult it is to speak around tears. "After all the hell that we went through...don't you want to go back? Go back to the safety of your old life?" Hell, I didn't even know if there was a way she could go back now, or if they'd even let her after that exit, but wouldn't she want to go back to whatever home she had been before she met me?
Her grip on my face, gentle, though never moving. Her chocolate brown eyes pierce into my soul as she holds her gaze. Her shaking stops and her face fills with determination. "Why?" she breaths quietly. "Why would I ever want to go back there? Why would I ever go back there...when you're up here?" she questions slowly. Her innocence is showing again, like she doesn't understand at all what she's implying, I can't help but smile at her.
"You really don't wanna go back? Not even what happened tonight? This side of the world can be pretty horrible."
"Trust me. So can the other side." she smiles at me again. "Everything...which wasn't much... that I had down there, didn't make me happy. But you do. Shouldn't I follow that happiness?"
I can't help myself. The moment is perfect. It's too damn perfect. All the emotions swelling in me after a night like this, probably didn't help me either. I quickly put my hands on either side of her face, bringing her closer to me before meeting her lips with mine.
...Oh my God I'm kissing a mermaid!
...But...she's kissing back...so...I guess this is okay?
I break away first and...my heart feels like it's gonna bust out of my chest at any second. Forget the swollen face, the only thing my brain can think of right now it happiness and excitement that's breaking out with the wide smile across my face.
"What was that?" Amy smiles at me.
My smile is so wide that it might be hurting some of the swelling in my face, but I can't bring myself to care right now. She's safe. She wants to stay. She's happy. I'm happy.
"That," I tell her, "is what it feels like to follow happiness."
She giggles and rests her forehead against mine. "Then I never ever want to let it go now that I have it." she says.
Even though the world around the two of us is utter chaos, police lights, yellow warning tape, people being arrested, others being bandaged in ambulances, and everything generally going to hell, none of it matters.
I found happiness.
And I'm not letting it go.