Lauren woke up answering the phone next to hear, hearing Camila's honey sweet voice asking her to come over for the day since it was a weekend. Lauren, still sleepy, managed a smile as Camila's goodbye turned into a see you again.
"I'll be there in a while. See you again." Lauren said to which Camila chuckled before putting the line down.
She did her usual morning routines, starting the day feeling thankful that she was doing a lot better than she was not so long ago. She realized Camila was right, there was a lot to be thankful for.
She headed down to breakfast with her mom who cooked her some bacon. Her mom didn't bat an eye when she told her she was staying over at Camila's for the rest of the afternoon since she got nothing planned.
"Things are getting better with you and Camila?" her mom asked.
Lauren gave her mom a look, since she never told her mom about her and Camila getting tension after their trip. It must have been evident to her. "You mean from after the trip?"
"Lauren I could see it a mile away. I just didn't want to bring it up in case it made you sad or too uncomfortable. But seeing you're happy now and enjoying her company..." Clara said this as she smiled proudly.
"Things got, well, personal on the trip. I bared my heart out to her," Lauren trailed off, recalling the exact moment. Her mom sat opposite her and listened attentively. "I didn't know if it worked out well but let's just say her reaction was a lot different than what I had anticipated. But yesterday at the diner, hearing her say that she truly had fun and she meant it, was everything to me."
Clara held her hand and smiled. "Lauren, what matters is that you were honest with whatever you felt with her. And I guess she saw that in you. I'm happy you're on a better place now."
Lauren hugged her mom after, grateful she was always there to offer words of encouragement to her. Afterwards she went to grab a blank easel and her brushes and paints stashed in a small box, giving one last look at the room-turned-makeshift gallery where at least 20 paintings were kept. She told herself that they weren't quite enough, vowing to add some more and finish it in time to show to the girl she made them for.
She crossed the street to get to the familiar driveway of the Cabello's. When she got to the front door and rang the doorbell, she only waited a while until little Sofi greeted her, hugging her waist immediately. "Lolo!"
Lauren giggled at the pet name Sofi had given her a while back. Camila didn't show up at the doorstep, though Lauren heard her voice through the sound of the television. "Come in, Laur!"
Lauren shut the door behind her, Sofi releasing her grasp and running upstairs. Lauren made her way into the living room and saw Camila still in her Mickey Mouse pajamas, a blanket wrapped around her as she lay down on the couch watching TV.
Lauren seemed hesitant all of a sudden as she sat next to Camila, eyeing her carefully. Camila raised an eyebrow and turned to Lauren. "Do I have some icing on my face or what?"
"Is this a bad time?" she asked, unsure.
Camila chuckled. "Don't be fooled Lauren, just because I'm still in my pajamas and wrapped in my blanket in this warm Miami temperature doesn't mean I'm having a bad day. I'm fine. I'm just quirky this way."
"Alright, whatever you say." Lauren said as she set down her blank easel and box of materials on the table. "So what are we doing today?"
Camila shrugged. "I got nothing in particular planned. There's beauty in spontaneity, as they always say."
"Then there's art in this disorganized chaos that I call my life." Lauren commented. Camila turned to her and smiled in approval.
Camila switched the channel and ended up stopping at a zombie movie on HBO. Camila turned to Lauren excitedly. "I love slasher films but there's nothing like good old zombie movies."
"Is it the gore?"
Camila shook her head, amusement on her face as she kept her eyes on the screen. Lauren could tell she's passionate about it. "Not even. It's the fragility of life in the characters, that they're fending off the zombies as they find a way to survive in a seemingly dystopian world. It keeps me on the edge of my seat and on my toes. I live for that shit."
"You love adventure so much. It courses in your veins." Lauren remarked, shaking her head.
"Courses in my veins but my poor old heart can't take a little rattling. Oh well." She said as she continued watching. Lauren offered no further comment on that.
Lauren discovered Camila was the type of person who wouldn't shut up in movies and would always give out little comments about everything. It was endearing to Lauren though. Camila picked a character from the start and stuck by her until sadly she never made it to the end of the movie as it ended.
"I can't believe Martina died, she was such a badass character." Lauren commented as the credits rolled on.
"It was fun rooting for her though. My favorite part of these zombie movies." Camila hung her head back in astonishment. Lauren followed suit and just stared at the ceiling of Camila's home. "So why did you bring a paint set, Lauren?"
"Uh thought I could you know paint some stuff here. Draw inspiration maybe here." Come to think of it, Lauren didn't know why she brought it, just that it made her feel comfortable and for her it felt right.
"Paint me."
The request came as a surprise, a burst in the wind, a draw of breath. For Lauren, it caught her completely off guard. It was not that she didn't want to, she know she did but she never thought of actually doing it and somehow those words seemed to have cast a spell on her. All she wanted to do in that moment was to paint the perfect picture, even if she'd never painted a person before.
She must have looked surprised because Camila smiled smugly, sitting up straighter. "What is it they say? Draw me like one of your French girls." Camila said dropping her voice low and sultry jokingly but even so, Lauren felt the hairs at her nape stand up. It was just a stupid joke.
"Um, I'll try." Lauren picked up the blank easel and placed it on her lap and got a pencil from her box and held it in position with her hand.
"What do you want me to do?" Camila asked, gently as if treading water.
"Just stay still and do whatever you like." Lauren said. Camila nodded and flicked the TV to the food channel and resumed watching. Lauren settled for drawing Camila's side profile since it was always one of the things she loved about her.
With shaky hands, she started her sketch. She looked back and forth, trying to get the right angle of her sharp jawline, the gentle curve of her lip and the slope of her nose. When Lauren was satisfied, she took out her paints, starting with the base color of Nude. She spread it on her palette and mixed with it a dab of light brown until she came with the perfect color of caramel which she thought to be the color of Camila's skin.
She held her breath as she started with the first stroke. She thought she messed everything up but she didn't. She continued until she could paint the entirety of Camila. She then started working on the background. She thought of making it abstract but to her, it felt right to copy the window and couch that was the view at that time. She wanted to do justice to the sight in front of her.
Camila was patient, never once glancing at Lauren's work, which she was grateful for. She barely even moved her head, and only the steady rhythms of her chest rising up and down. She acted the part of the muse right.
When Lauren was satisfied, she turned the once blank easel towards Camila. Camila's eyes fell on the painting and she stared. Lauren started to worry since Camila didn't utter a word but simply let her eyes fall on it, seemingly scanning ever minuscule stroke and patch of color.
Lauren felt her heartbeat go up her throat. The silence was killing her. "W-what do you think?"
Camila suddenly let her eyes part from the painting and Lauren saw in them what she didn't see before. Tears. Glistening before her eyes, threatening to drop any second. Lauren let go of the breath in her throat.
Camila smiled through it all. "You make me beautiful."
Lauren felt herself blush. "But you are beautiful."
"I don't use that word to describe myself. Weirdly enough. Don't know if I've ever felt that way but you just make me." Camila seemed to be rambling on. It was odd to hear her voice them out.
"I'm happy I make you feel that way." Lauren found herself saying. Camila held the painting in her hands. "You can keep it."
Camila furrowed her brows. "I don't need this. This is yours, Lauren." She declined.
"But the painting is you. It was supposed to be some sort of parting gift to you." Lauren explained.
"What would I do with a parting gift? It's a piece of me. And I want you to have it. So you'll always have something to look back on." Camila pushed it back in Lauren's hands, Camila's hand touching Lauren's. Lauren gulped at the interaction. Lauren sadly smiled at the sentiment.
Lauren thought of the gallery that she had yet to show to Camila. Her pride and joy, her work of art. Her outlet for expressing herself. "There's something else I'd love for you to see, though it's not quite done yet."
"Well do enlighten me when it's done, Lauren. You seem to do a pretty good job at it."
"You believe in me too much." Lauren deflected, feeling shy.
"Because I see something in you worth believing in. And that girl I see will go places, I swear." Camila said, with certainty in her voice. That certainty made Lauren choke up.
Lauren smiled, just accepting the other girl's compliments.
"You always have words for everything Camila." Lauren replied after a while of Camila turning back her attention to the TV. "I don't know how you do it."
"I was the kid who never shut up. What do you expect." She said amusingly. "Old habits never die. The quality of my speech just improved over time and so did my vocabulary."
Lauren thought about the charity work she had planned tomorrow and the idea crossed her mind. "Hey Camila, I planned to go on this charity thing tomorrow at the hospital and maybe you would like to come as well."
"Charity? Well that's something new." She remarked.
"Yeah, ever since last December I realized things like that make me happy. Make me seem fulfilled." Lauren really wanted Camila to come all of a sudden because she was sure it would make the other girl just as happy. "Maybe we can get a picnic after or something if you'd like."
Camila smiled coyly at Lauren, giving her a look. "Is that an invitation to a date, Lauren?"
Lauren gulped and shook her head. "Um-I-"
Camila chuckled and waved her off. "It's fine. I mean, I don't mind. I'd love to come with you."
"But this is not a date okay, just so you know. Just an invitation. Friendly." Lauren said in total defense.
"You don't have to explain yourself to me, Laur. I know." Camila said resolutely. Those two last words made Lauren feel as if she knew all her desires and wants. Or maybe it was just because she was Camila, and everything she said exuded the aura of certainty she always had.
"What else do you know?" Lauren prompted.
"I know that I'll make it a point to look good tomorrow." Camila said simply and Lauren saw in her eyes, the same look she had that night at the diner. It scared Lauren because she doesn't know what Camila could be thinking, or what her real sentiments were. She was unreadable as foggy glass. She was always so unattainable to her. Even now dressed in pajamas, a blanket strewn over, in the humble living room of the Cabello's, Camila felt like a world away to Lauren. It was as if she were her own planet and the closest Lauren could get was just by being stuck at her orbit.
"Anything else?"
"That you're just as excited as a kid at a theme park." Camila guessed. Lauren smiled as she packed up her materials in the box.
"Ever thought of getting fortune teller as a profession?" Lauren teased.
"Never crossed my mind." Camila chuckled as she got up to get a glass of milk in the fridge.
Lauren got her box and now-filled easel and stood up to go to the door. Camila gave her a quick hug and Lauren smell the all too familiar scent of her shampoo and wished it could last any longer.
Camila had a smile on as she parted hugs. "See you tomorrow then, Lauren."
"See you," Lauren said as she went out the door, giving one last look back at Camila who seemed to be bopping her head to some inaudible music in her head. Lauren laughed at the sight just as the door shut for good.
She made her way back to her house, the first she did was putting the painting where the rest were stashed. She smiled at how it surprisingly made a good addition to her collection of abstract and impressionist styled paintings. It was as if it was the center of everything, well because Camila was the subject of them all. She was her muse, the planet that put her into her orbit. She was all of this even if she will never feel the same way about her and for Lauren, it was alright.
Lauren closed the door to the guest room where her makeshift gallery was. She couldn't wait for her muse to see the works she inspired.
Lauren went to bed that night feeling not only excited but hopeful. There was a sense of urgency as they didn't have the luxury of time but with it came the hunger to make memories and memories that count. For Lauren, that would be tomorrow.
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A/N: The "you make me beautiful" line is one of my favorites :( This chapter was insanely sweet, I really love writing their conversations. People tell me the past chapters have been really heartbreaking and I apologize for that and also in advance. Tell me your comments!
-Sofia