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Summary:
14.
It was seven in the evening and Nick hadn't come back to talk just yet. The truth was, I didn't really want him to come back. I didn't want to talk to him.
Of course, his job was his job and I totally understood that, however, he out of all the people on this Earth should have understood what I was feeling last night. I had grown up with men taking advantage of me, that one man who was meant to be a parental figure, he took advantage of me in ways I never thought possible.
Yes, maybe it was just a touch but at the end of the day, I wasn't to blame.
Some men would never understand, as I saw from the security guard, but when that one person you though understood you and cared for you did the same thing, that was what hurt. What hurt the most was how Nick knew everything about my past and he still made that man the victim.
Well, I wasn't going to stand for that.
My phone pinged with an incoming text. Sat in my pyjamas whilst I felt sorry for myself, I opened it.
Just going to the pub with the boys for a quick drink. Should be home about 11 ~ Dad.
I texted him back with a simple okay and laid my phone back on to the table in front of me.
I continued to look at my phone, kind of hoping that it would light up with Nick's name. I was furious with him, but I couldn't help but miss him deeply. The last few days had been so perfect as we built our relationship, however, now it took the turn for the worst.
Was this really the right thing?
I was so cautious about this relationship. I didn't want to get hurt, I didn't want to feel so lost and hopeless ever again. I knew Nick had the power to hurt me more than anyone, he would always have that power because I couldn't control how I felt when it came to him.
I was feeling things so fast and quick.
Our connection was strong, our sexual tension so undeniable. I didn't want us to end before we had the chance to get started.
With that thought, I sighed deeply and got up to get myself a beer. My head was still pounding with the after math of last night and I still felt sick to my stomach. I didn't know if that was because of Nick or the alcohol. Maybe it was a bit of both.
I decided to have a beer anyway. I was totally on edge tonight, waiting for Nick's call or a knock on the door. I couldn't relax, no matter how hard I tried.
Glenn had just come back from his road trip and decided to go to the pub until later. Did that mean Nick was going, too?
Maybe it would be easier for me if he didn't come here tonight to talk, I just didn't really feel like it. A big part of me wanted to see him, I mean, I wanted us to be okay again, but another part of me was just too tired to try tonight.
But even I knew, Nick wasn't like that. He promised he'd come over tonight to talk, I knew he would because he'd want to make things right.
With a beer in my hand, I switched the TV on, hoping the noise would drown out all my thoughts of Nick.
It didn't.
When the clock struck half ten, I wondered if Nick would ever bother coming tonight. He said he wanted to make things right, so why hadn't he come?
This wasn't like Nick, not since the day I met him. He valued our relationship too much to leave me hanging. Even though I didn't feel like talking to him just yet, I still knew that it was for the best. Communication was key in a relationship and I knew we would have to talk soon, so we could continue to build and grow.
With a frown marring my face, I fell asleep an hour later, a little pissed off and a little sad he hadn't wanted to make things right after all, even when he had said he did.
~
I woke up with a start. Shit, this felt like deja vu.
The door pounded, it was barely light outside. I cradled my head as the pounding continued, I squeezed my eyes shut. Who was making all that noise?
I ignored the pounding, not even sure what planet I was really on. I was so disoriented and still half asleep, I didn't know who could be at the door.
I barely even heard the pounding over the noise of the TV.
Suddenly, my phone rang. It vibrated loudly on the table and I groaned. There was too much noise.
I picked up the phone but I didn't have the chance to say anything.
"Cathy, open the God damn door!" A voice boomed from the other end of the phone. It was like cold water had splashed strongly across my face.
Nick.
I knew his voice a mile away, I knew it was him by the way the hairs on my neck stood up and the way my heart began beating strongly.
I was still pissed off at him, more so now because I knew he hadn't come back to talk when he said he would. If he really wanted this relationship, why didn't he try to help it? The thought was beyond me. I was just left feeling confused.
"Go away." I croaked. Sleep was still evident in my voice.
"Open the fucking door, Cathy." He growled. I sat up straight, anger washing over me like a wave.
"Who the hell do you think you are?" I hissed. He had the audacity to come over at my house and talk to me like I was in the wrong. Who did he think he was?
"I need you to let me in, we need to talk." He pleaded. I scoffed his way.
"You said you'd come back last night, it's now nearly four in the morning and you think now's a good time?" I scoffed again. "Are you brain dead?"
"I can explain!" He let out. He continued to pound on the door.
"You had your chance and you blew it." I replied. "And stop pounding on my fucking door!" I screamed as the pounding got louder. It was making my head thump against my skull. I really didn't need this right now.
"Let me in." He demanded.
"Just go away."
"Stop running away from me."
"You're pushing me away!" I let out. "You're being a dick." And with that statement I couldn't help but let a tear fall from my face. I begged myself to stop crying, because he didn't deserve to see me like this. I so desperately wanted to sob, to sob and cry and just get it all over with. I didn't want to bottle my emotions up, but I thought it was for the best.
"Just let me in and I'll explain."
"I don't want to see you."
"Fuck!" Nick shouted in irritation. I then heard him rustling around on the end of the phone. The rustling lasted a few seconds before I heard him make a sound of victory. The next thing I knew, a key was going in to the lock of the door and the door opened loudly.
Shit. He had found the key under the plant pot, one my father and I always left incase we were ever locked out.
It didn't take long before he stomped in to the living room with wild eyes and his hair sticking up in all directions. He looked rough, really rough. His eyes were swollen with the bags underneath and he was still wearing the same clothes as yesterday.
"Why do you never do a damn thing I tell you to do." He hissed as soon as he saw me. His breathing was strong and his eyes were dark with anger.
I could smell the alcohol on his body before he had the chance to move any closer. Had he been out all night drinking? Nick hardly ever drank to this kind of state. In fact, I had never seen him drink more than three beers. Right now, he wasn't drunk but I had no doubt that a few hours ago he was.
"You don't control me." I stated. I got up from the sofa, but continued to keep the distance between us. I couldn't let him touch me, I knew I would cave in. I always did, his touch was too much.
"I know I don't but I wish you'd just fucking listen." He let out. He stood before me, his legs spread apart and his hands laid strongly beside him. His hands were rolled in to tight fists, either out of anger or to stop him from lunging to touch me. Maybe it was a bit of both.
"Listen? Why would I ever want to listen to you?" I pointed. Nick's brows furrowed in reply.
"I'm a dick, I know I am but I just need to explain." He sighed as I looked to him. "I need you."
"Maybe you should have thought about that before, one; speaking to me like shit last night after I had been touched up by somebody else and two; for not coming back to talk. Instead, you come home half cut and at four in the morning." I huffed. I didn't want to shout but he had to see that he was in the wrong. What he did was not on, I needed him to see that.
"Listen, I fucked up, I knew I would. I'm trying, I really am and I know what I did upset you, I know that. You have to forgive me." He pleaded. His angry eyes had vanished and now he was looking guilty and upset. Good, it served him right.
Even though it pained me to ever see him so upset, I knew that this was what he needed. He was going to fuck up and so was I, but that doesn't mean we both should get away with it. A little hurt and pain never hurts, I think it really did help.
However, I was still so super pissed.
"You fucked up." I stated and he sighed. His shoulders went slack as he looked to the floor. His hands dived in to his hair and he tugged gently.
"Forgive me, Cathy, God dammit." He pleaded some more. His face lifted until his pleading eyes were looking in to mine. "You can't break up with me, not now. I need this, I need you. You're the first girl I've ever wanted to spend time with outside of the bedroom. I couldn't stand to see girls the next morning because I never felt anything for them. I had pointless sex and that was it. With you, though, you're the only girl I've ever looked at in the morning and thought shit, I could do this for the rest of my life. I wouldn't tire looking at you, I couldn't tire being with you. You make me want to change, you make me want to be a better person."
"Nick-"
"No!" He shouted. "Can't you see? I'm a fucked up fool who's caught feelings for a girl who deserves the fucking world and more. Don't you see what it's like? I'm living my life so messed up. I'm twenty eight and I don't even know how to treat a girl. I especially don't know how to treat you, you're too good for me and I don't know how to make you stay." He stepped a little closer. His chest was heaving and his eyes turned dark as he drank my body in. I shivered at his look of appreciation.
"All you have to do is be on my side." I sniffed as tears began to fall. I couldn't stop them this time, no matter how hard I tried. "Aren't we supposed to be a team?" I questioned. "You know what I've been through, you know who I am." I stated.
"You're the most perfect girl in the whole world." Nick breathed. "I want to get to know you better, I just need you to stay. Tell me you forgive me."
"I forgive you." I sobbed. I ran over to him so fast I crashed in to his body. I clung on to him so tightly. "Don't be a dick again."
"I can't promise anything." Nick stated. "But I'll try my hardest for you."
"That's all I could ask for." I sniffed against his shirt.
"Stop crying, I can't bare to see you cry." His voice sounded pained. He grabbed a hold of my body until I was in his arms. He started to walk upstairs and I clung on tightly to his neck.
Nick opened my bedroom door and laid me down gently in my bed. I sniffled loudly.
"Where's my dad?" I asked. I hadn't thought about him since Nick had turned up and I was thrown out of my sleep.
"You don't want to know." Nick chuckled. I narrowed my eyes dangerously his way. He was already on a clear warning, he better tell me right now where my father is.
"Nick." I warned. He rolled his eyes gently, but the smile on his face made my heart melt.
"He found a woman in the pub. He's pretty smitten already." He winked. I looked to him with wide eyes. I groaned.
"What the hell?"
"I've never seen him with anybody else since he split up with your mum all them years ago." Nick stated. "I don't really know where they went but he's been gone for bloody hours."
"So you came here?" I asked. "You smell of beer." I crinkled my nose up in disgust. Nick's head fell in shame. He rubbed the back of his neck in an uncomfortable gesture.
"I went to the pub with your father and his friends. I was so pissed off with myself I guess one beer led to two and so on so forth." He sighed. "I should have came here sooner to see you. I'm so sorry for everything I've done." He looked so sincere, I had a hard time ever trying to stay pissed off at the guy.
"It's okay, I suppose. Do it again though and I'll knock your brain about in that thick skull of yours." I tapped his head gently. He grabbed my wrist and brought it to his mouth. I gasped when he kissed my skin.
His kisses went further up until he was kissing my neck. His body leaned over mine and I giggled loudly as he did so. He chuckled in to my neck, his happiness coming off of him in waves.
"I missed you." He growled against my neck. "And I've now discovered I hate doors."
"Why?"
"The amount of pounding I've had to do to get you to listen. They stand in the fucking way. I hate them." He pouted as he looked to me. "Nobody stands in the way of you and me."
"They're just blocks of wood." I stated. "I'm sure if you were that desperate to get to me you would have knocked the thing down."
"Trust me, I was so close to knocking the fucking thing down." Nick gruffed. "You have no idea how much it angered me to know I couldn't see you or touch you. I just needed you to listen to me. I couldn't bare the thought of you knowing how shit I had treated you without letting me have my word."
"Well, you deserved it." I stated. Nick smiled.
"You put me in my place, don't you, Angel?"
"Of course I do." I smiled back. "Would you have it any other way?"
"I could think of a few more ways to have you." He smirked. With that thought, I jumped on to his body and started kissing my way down it. He had the nicest body known to man.
He groaned.
"Are we going to have makeup sex now?" He asked, his voice sounding hopeful.
"We are, but we're doing this my way."
"Lead the way, Angel, take me with you."
"Always."