The only thing in Chanyeol's mind was the sole objective to drive as fast as possible to town so they could drop off Kris and get Baekhyun a pair of jeans, because, in the rear view mirror, Chanyeol could visibly see Baekhyun sitting on Kris' lap, unaware and unmindful of the fact that he was—in all technicalities—cheating on him. Chanyeol's eyes darted over at Kyungsoo, who was sitting in the front passenger seat totally content of the fact that he had dodged a bullet a few minutes back.
When Kris had barged himself in, the car was already full. He suggested that someone could sit on his lap for the duration of the drive, but he had done so while giving Kyungsoo a look. Kyungsoo, in turn, popped the personal bubble between Kai and him as if scooting uncomfortably closer to his apprentice was better than letting Kris touch him.
Chanyeol didn't necessarily want to have a say in what was happening. He didn't care. It wasn't him that invited Kris to join, so it wasn't his problem trying to figure out how to fit the tall bastard in. After a few minutes of trying to move people around, Baekhyun finally piped up and offered his seat to Kyungsoo.
For once, Chanyeol actually wanted Baekhyun to be the true asshole that he knew he was and not do anything nice. Before he could even object, Kyungsoo had shamelessly left Kai's side and took the front and Baekhyun had taken his new spot: Kris' lap.
If Chanyeol could name his car at the moment, he'd name it "The Rolling Cock Block" for obvious reasons. He knew that Kris was throwing him glances from behind, but Chanyeol figured that he'd get his time to punch him and to put Baekhyun back into his place sometime soon.
The only thing on his mind was to get to town before he had the strong urge to drive the car off a cliff.
Once parked in front of a small local clothing store, Chanyeol immediately threw off his seatbelt. Then he turned back to the backseats. "Out."
Sehun rolled down his window. "I'll stay here."
Chanyeol looked at Kyungsoo, who shrugged and settled back into his seat. "I'll stay here, too."
"Same," Kai piped.
With the three knocked off the list, Chanyeol turned his attention to Baekhyun, who was sitting on Kris as if waiting for some sort of command—a command Chanyeol was happy to give. "Let's go."
Without a word in argument, Baekhyun reached for the handle and opened the door. Briefly, he tapped Kris on the thigh before jumping out. "Thanks for lending me your legs," he said with a bright smile. Then he leaned back in the car and whispered something in Kris' ear.
Chanyeol could do nothing, but watch as Baekhyun exchanged secret words with his subordinate. To him, the message looked like it was something interestingly personal considering how Kris pulled back, looking like a thief caught red handed. Baekhyun, though, still had a grin on his face even as he closed the door.
Utterly done with the situation and with the gnawing feeling in his gut, Chanyeol got out as well. He met Baekhyun out at the front of the car and didn't hesitate to grab the smug-faced male's hand, letting those who stayed in the car see—especially Kris. With hands laced together, Chanyeol led them into the store.
Intent on getting what they needed and getting out as soon as possible, Chanyeol called over a shop assistant to try and find a pair of jeans that fit Baekhyun perfectly both in style and in size. Once they were given a few pairs to go try on, Chanyeol tagged along to the fitting rooms.
When he tried to enter the actual room, Baekhyun tried to shut the door before he could put a foot inside. Chanyeol's quick reflexes aided him as his hand caught hold of the door before he was shut out. "I'm coming in whether you like it or not."
Baekhyun quirked his lips and gave Chanyeol a lopsided grin. "You're too big to fit in here."
Rolling his eyes, Chanyeol scoffed. Pushing Baekhyun aside, Chanyeol let himself in and took a seat on the small bench provided. "Hurry up and try them on. We're running behind schedule."
"Right, right," Baekhyun said, unfolding one of the jeans and unzipping the front. "When does it open?"
"A little over an hour from now," Chanyeol said, crossing his arms. Watching Baekhyun try on the dark blue jeans, Chanyeol noted how it fitted nicely. Drawing his attention from Baekhyun's thighs, Chanyeol cleared his throat. "You know, if it was just the two of us going like I planned, we'd already be on our way."
"I know," Baekhyun said, smiling, which Chanyeol could see from the mirror that was being used. "We didn't have to bring everyone along, but they seemed like they wanted to."
"Do you know what the definition of a date is, Baek?" Chanyeol asked, giving Baekhyun a questioning look. "I'll tell you my definition: you and I. That's it."
Fixing the material, Baekhyun tried to make himself comfortable in the jeans. Then he zipped it up and turned around multiple times, trying to catch a glimpse of himself in the mirror at every possible angle. "I know what a date is, Chanyeol," he hummed. "I've read about them—oh!"
Suddenly, he spun around, surprising the giant. "One time, I watched Fifty First Dates and it was the sweetest thing in the world, Chanyeol," Baekhyun said, sighing. "I mean, I want a waffle house..."
Chanyeol scrunched his brows. "A what?"
"A waffle house," Baekhyun repeated. He put his foot against the wall to fix the bottom of jeans around his ankles.
"What does that have to with the fact that I asked you out and you in-avertedly brought along an entire caravan?" Chanyeol asked.
"Nothing really," Baekhyun laughed. "It was just a nice scene in the movie..."
The look on Chanyeol's face softened as silence consumed them for a moment. In its duration, he thought about everything that Baekhyun's ever said about relationships, and it came to him that for the most part, Baekhyun would always reference books and movies when it came to any subject related to romance. Curious, Chanyeol lightly tapped Baekhyun's leg with his foot.
"Has anyone ever taken you out on one?" he asked in a serious tone. When Baekhyun took longer than he needed to answer, Chanyeol frowned. "Baek—"
"I've been on some," Baekhyun cut in, finally answering.
"Where?" Chanyeol pushed.
"Places," Baekhyun said, shrugging. Deciding that he didn't want to be stuck in the interrogative situation anymore, he took the other jeans that he hadn't even tried on yet and thrusted them into Chanyeol's arms. "I think this one's fine. Let's choo choo on out of here," he chimed, laughing as he unlocked the door.
Chanyeol shot up from his seat and used his long legs to keep the door shut, not allowing Baekhyun to open it and escape. "No one's ever taken you out," he confidently stated.
"Chanyeol, you're making a foot print," Baekhyun said, looking at the white door. Looking up at the giant's intent gaze, Baekhyun countered it with a frown. "You're making this store ugly."
"And you're trying to avoid answering me," Chanyeol argued.
Trying to keep eye contact, Baekhyun let out a frustrated sigh before rolling his eyes. "Fine. You wanna hear a story?" he said. "Everyone who had ever asked me would take me out for coffee at my favorite café. Sometimes they'd hold my hand and tell me how nice I look. Then they'd stroke my face and play footsies with me—oh, then we'd go in the restroom and have sex!"
Shrugging, Baekhyun smirked. "Dates don't last long for me. People complain and I always have to end it when the manager comes pounding on the door."
Chanyeol didn't know how to feel. He didn't know whether to feel pity for the guy who thought that public restroom sex could be categorized as a "date" or anger over the fact that Baekhyun ever let himself be treated in such a way. "So that's what you call a date?" he asked in a sharp voice.
"Yeah. It's always been the café, coffee, and restroom sex routine for me." Leaning in, Baekhyun smiled brightly at Chanyeol. "But you're a little different, aren't you, giant?" He laughed. "You're actually taking me somewhere."
"Yeah, you and everyone else," Chanyeol reminded him. Moving the jeans onto one arm, Chanyeol used his free hand to keep Baekhyun looking up at him. "But the next time I ask you out for some intimate time alone together outside the bedroom, I expect it to only be us. No dog and no idiots. You're enough of an idiotic animal for me to handle. I don't need the rest of them. Is that clear?"
"It's clear to me as mud," Baekhyun replied. Before Chanyeol could argue with that statement, Baekhyun slapped his foot off the door and pulled it open. "I'm gonna go pay for these."
Following Baekhyun out of the dressing room with the rest of the untried jeans in his arms, Chanyeol said, "Use the card I gave you."
"How about no," was Baekhyun response. Picking up his pace, he distanced himself from Chanyeol and quickly made his way over to the counter. Giving the salesgirl heart-stopping grin, Baekhyun tilted his head slightly to the right.
He promptly announced that he was ready to check out and was asked what form of payment he was going to go with. Instinctively, Baekhyun reached for his wallet only to remember that he had left it in his backpack, which was inside the car. Looking back and forth from the cashier to the car outside the window, Baekhyun seemed as if he was trying to contemplate whether or not he should run out and get it, or crawl back to Chanyeol.
At the moment, he didn't want to walk all the way back to the car, so instead, Baekhyun turned back to Chanyeol sporting a sheepish grin. "Maybe you can pay for me this one time."
"How about no," Chanyeol mocked.
Baekhyun frowned. "Then I'll ask Kris."
Chanyeol's jaw locked. "Fine," he growled. "My wallet's in my back pocket."
With a grin on his face, Baekhyun walked over to Chanyeol, who had turned the other way to make it easier for the shorter male to grab his wallet. When Baekhyun initially stuck his hand in, Chanyeol tensed. Noticing the giant's sudden move, Baekhyun laughed. "You have no ass, Chanyeol," he said as he took out what he needed.
As Baekhyun walked back to the counter, Chanyeol snorted and said, "I think you've got enough for the both of us," and making the salesgirl blush at the implication as she took the card from Baekhyun, who turned his head and gave Chanyeol a nod in agreement.
-
-
It was after they had stepped outside the store that Chanyeol remembered to ask a question that was protruding his mind earlier back. "Hey, what did you say to Kris?"
Pausing, Baekhyun looked up. "I just told him to calm his boner," he said as if nothing was wrong with the fact that Kris got hard along the way.
With eyes intent to kill, Chanyeol looked at his car, staring at Kris, who was too preoccupied with trying to get Kyungsoo's attention to even be aware of the giant looking at him like an ax murderer. "He's going back home," Chanyeol gritted.
"We already said he could come," Baekhyun said, waving at Kris, who finally saw the two of them standing right in front of the store.
"No," Chanyeol argued, not bothering to wave. "You invited him. I'm not letting you sit on his lap again."
"He won't pop one again," Baekhyun said.
"Not guaranteed."
"We can't just tell him to go back home," Baekhyun muttered, looking up at Chanyeol. "He has business with you, too, doesn't he?"
"He can wait back at the house then."
"Chanyeol."
"Baekhyun," Chanyeol responded naturally, giving the shorter male beside him a glare.
"It's not—"
"He can't—"
"I already said—"
"Damn it, Baek!" Chanyeol growled, scratching his head. "Fine! He can come. The bastard can fucking come."
Grinning at his success, Baekhyun shoulder bumped the giant. "You're not so bad—Oh, I might even take back all the mean things I've said about you behind your back. Who knows, really."
Shaking his head, Chanyeol pushed Baekhyun in the direction of the passenger side. When Baekhyun gave him a confused looked, Chanyeol explained. "Tell Kyungsoo to scoot the fuck over. I'm not having you on Kris again."
Not questioning the order, Baekhyun opened the front passenger side. "Chanyeol said to move over. Please and thank you."
Kyungsoo, understanding of Chanyeol's reasons, complied and tried his best to make room for Baekhyun. Despite all their efforts, Baekhyun ended up with one of his butt cheeks just barely on Kyungsoo's lap, which Chanyeol didn't mind so much since it wasn't Kris.
In the back, and much to Kris' amusement, Nugget kept staring at him and looking back at Chanyeol. He would repeatedly do this, but Kris was too caught up in the dog's actions to look up and see where the pup was looking whenever he looked away. Eventually, Nugget had to be stopped by Sehun, who pulled him into a position where he could keep the dog still for much of the trip's duration.
Knowing the the situation was uncomfortable and understanding of the fact that he basically had no logical option left, Chanyeol turned the car in the direction of a local car dealer that knew him quite well through business means. Glancing over here and there, he already knew that no one was going to have a comfortable ride all mushed together like a can of sardines. In fact, he was sure that by the time they got to the zoo, Baekhyun would have lost any feeling in his left butt cheek and Kyungsoo would have Baekhyun's bum imprinted on his thigh.
Nugget would surely shit again, which would cause a big commotion due to their compacted situation. It'd create a frenzy as everyone would try and escape the car at the same time. Kai didn't necessarily like sitting next to Kris. If anything, he looked like he preferred sitting next to Kyungsoo, his bicker buddy. Sehun seemed like the only content one despite having a dog that wanted to get off his lap.
Deciding to take the logical route, Chanyeol drove and arrived at the car dealership where he told everyone to get out and grab their things. As they did so, Chanyeol went inside and came out approximately ten minutes later. Soon after, a vehicle came out and parked in front of them. As everyone stared at it, he turned Baekhyun. "The things I fucking do for you."
It was evident that no one had heard the statement. They were all to busy staring at the vehicle and processing the fact that Chanyeol had rented out a white van that seated ten; perfectly capable of carrying his caravan of idiots.