☁︎
Anna
The first "lesson" was terrible. And pointless. All Kim Namjoon did was sigh and read through the chapter we were working on. I had no idea what I was needed for, not when he told me nothing. The only way I could have been useful is if he'd actually told me what the problems he had in history were. Exasperated, I also began to read through the chapter. Namjoon and I spent the whole lunch period in silence, just reading.
When the bell rang, I jumped and looked up. Namjoon was already packing his things. Without a word, he got up and walked out of the library. I leaned back in my chair and watched him leave, crossing my arms. I supposed I could have been more helpful myself. Maybe I should have actually asked what he needed help with? Well, if he actually wanted to pass, he would have tried harder, I pointed out to myself. I shook my head and also began to pack my books.
So far, there was already one thing perfectly clear in this situation; Neither of us wanted to be here.
☁︎
"So have you started with the study sessions?" Teacher Park asked.
I gripped the straps of my backpack tighter before replying. I should have known this is what he'd wanted to talk about when he'd held me after class.
"It was fine," I told him simply.
He seem dissatisfied with my answer.
"How was Namjoon?" Teacher Park continued.
"He seemed fine," I told him.
"That's all?" He asked.
I nodded.
"All right," he sighed. "You're dismissed."
I bowed and hurried out, desperate to get home. Get home and do nothing. I sighed as I stepped out into the hall. And when I turned to my right, I wasn't surprised to see a familiar face leaning against the wall. I let out a breath that sounded somewhat like a scoff, and continued past Jin. Ignoring him.
"I see you're still playing hard to get," he commented as I walked by.
Maybe he thought I would stop and turn around, to make a sarcastic comment or something in reply. Isn't that what people actually "playing hard to get" do? But I didn't. I didn't have time. I wanted to go home and forget about the awkward lunch I'd had, and push away the dread of having to do it again. But here was Jin, who was still at it after a week. When we'd first spoken, I wondered if I'd been too rude, too harsh. But his arrogant persistence convinced me I did the okay thing, even if it had no effect whatsoever.
I heard him scoff and jog up to me, for I was still walking briskly away.
"What exactly is it that you don't like about me?" Jin asked playfully. "I mean, what's not to like?"
I grimaced at his words, but kept my head forward. I prayed he would just give up, even if it was just for the rest of the day.
"Anna, you're so stubborn," he continued. "I like that."
These were the kind of moments that made me wonder what it would be like to be considered ugly. There were those plain, simple girls, who were only ever noticed for their personality, by someone who actually looked deep enough to see it. I wanted someone to look deeper than my perfect complexion and silky hair, to see the messed up, ugly person inside. Even if it meant being rejected for who I was, instead of what I looked like. I would just endure it if someone didn't accept me, even after seeing the real me, just because they'd actually taken the time to see me.
But what I wanted most of all, was for someone to see how imperfect I really was, and to love me anyway.
Namjoon
I closed my locker, wondering if Geum Shin Anna and Teacher Park were talking about me at that moment. And what they were actually saying about me. I imagined Anna's cold voice telling Teacher Park how distant I'd been, how silent. He'd be disappointed and call me for a meeting the next day for sure. I bit down on my lip and shook my head. Even if that was the case, it wasn't really my fault. I'd just frozen. I don't know why. One minute I was ready to ask her about the question I'd had on the homework, then the next, I saw my parents' disgust at finding out I have a tutor. A fellow student. My mouth had clamped shut and I felt my palms grow sweaty.
I pushed away the memory and prayed Anna would help me out. I couldn't be sure she would, though, since I knew so little about her. Would someone so cold and blunt be willing to lie even slightly to the teacher? Maybe. Hopefully. I rolled my eyes at myself, feeling pathetic.
When voices suddenly sounded, I realized I'd just been leaning against my locker in thought. I blinked and straightened up, about to leave.
"Anna, you're so stubborn. I like that," Jin's voice echoed down the empty hall.
I rolled my eyes again, this time not at myself. I leaned against my locker again, deciding to just wait till they passed, since the voice was coming from the hall that crossed through mine. When Anna and Jin finally came into view, I couldn't help but glance over in curiosity. Jin had that same smirk, seeming like he was attempting to match her pace. My phone buzzed in my back pocket, and I reached for it, about to look away, when Anna's face caught my eye.
I blinked and turned towards them completely, wondering if I saw right. Because if I was, then this was the first time I'd ever seen real emotion on her face. Anna looked indescribably sad. I frowned, wondering why sadness was the emotion that came to her, instead of annoyance at Jin.
"Just leave me alone," she finally spoke, her voice contained its usual coolness.
"Aish, you're making me sound desperate here, Anna. What's so wrong with one little date with me? Nothing huge. We can just grab some food." Jin was the one who started to sound annoyed.
"I already said no," she replied, speeding up.
Jin suddenly grabbed her wrist. Anna spun around, a horrified look on her face. Somehow, I didn't think it was just a look of surprise from his actions. It was something more. She suddenly seemed panicked. Without thinking, I spoke up.
"Yah, Anna!" I called over to them.
Jin looked over at me and let go of her. Anna took a few shaky steps back and grabbed onto the wrist he'd held. I stood frozen for a second, wondering what the heck I just did. The only logical thing now would be to run over. So I did. I jogged up to the two, stopping at Anna's side. Her eyes focused on me finally, and she gave me a questioning look. I scrambled for an excuse.
"Uh, you said you could talk to Teacher Park with me about the history thing today, remember?" I asked her carefully.
Jin narrowed his eyes at me. I ignored him and turned completely to Anna. Immediately, she looked down and nodded, finally seeming to understand what I was saying.
"Well, let's go, then," I said.
I stepped between her and Jin, and we began to walk down the hall, back to our classroom.
"See you later, Anna," he called as we turned the corner.
As soon as he was out of sight, Anna stopped and leaned against the wall. I raised my eyebrows and watched her. Neither of us spoke for a long time.
"I know what you were doing back there," she finally spoke, her voice quiet.
I tilted my head.
"What was I doing?"
"I didn't need your help," Anna told me. "Jin's just an immature boy. I had it under control."
"It didn't look like it when he grabbed you," I pointed out.
Annoyance started to creep up in me. Why was she angry at me for helping her?
"Just stay out of my business," she finished.
Without a glance, Anna took in a deep breath and walked away, leaving me alone in the empty hallway. Very confused. I wasn't confused by her lack of gratitude; I'd almost expected that. What confused me was why I did it in the first place. Along with the strange emotions on her face. Along with everything else about her.
That day, I decided something for certain. Anna was the most confusing girl I'd ever met.