Feel free to point out any spelling, grammar, or spacing errors. I would really appreciate it and will fix them right away :)
***
Abrelle's POV
"I didn't think it'd upset you," Noah says.
Breathe Abrelle.
It's in the past.
"I'm not upset," I answer leaning against Nat's room wall.
So we're currently inside Nat's room talking about the fact that J and Liz are in the living room.
"You are," he frowns.
"No I'm not," I tell him. "I was surprised that's all."
Well, I'm a little upset.
"Okay," he answers before walking out the room and going towards the living room.
I stand there a few seconds taking a deep breath before following him.
"It's been a long time," Jason says as I walk into the living room. He's talking to Noah.
"It has," they embrace. "I haven't seen you both in a while."
"It's been crazy the last few years," Liz smiles hugging Noah as well.
"Abrelle," Jason smiles at me and I smile back.
"How you been Abrelle?" Liz ask and I shrug.
"I've been good," I say slowly walking towards them.
"That's good," Liz smiles and I nod slightly.
We stand there for a few seconds in silence.
"What about you?" I ask.
"I've been good," she answers.
"That's good," I nod.
The silence hits us again and I don't know exactly what to say.
We don't know each other.
Not anymore.
"Let's have dinner," Noah says after a few seconds and we all nod happily to have the silence finish.
***
"So we're both working for a firm nearby," Liz smiles as she serves herself more wine.
"That's great," Noah says and I can feel them looking at me, but I stare directly at my food slowly moving it around with my fork.
"How about you?" J asks and I can tell he's talking to Noah. "I heard you got really famous after the. . .um case."
"Right," Noah clears his throat. "I've been traveling around doing work in many different places. Right now I'm working in Elle's company looking through all the contracts they sign, but I'm open to doing cases as well."
"And you Abrelle?" Liz asks and I look up.
"I'm running the company," I say and they nod as if waiting for me to continue, but I don't.
"That's good," Liz says after a few seconds. "I bet that's keeping you busy."
"It is," I say as I sip my glass of wine.
God, why did Noah invite them?
What did he expect?
I'd be super happy to see the "friends" who abandoned me after my case.
If they were so pissed that I lied to them, why the hell did they show up for the trial?
Breathe Abrelle.
That was a long time ago.
It's time to leave it all behind.
"What do you think babe?" Noah says and I turn to look at him trying my best to not look confused.
I wasn't listening.
"I don't know," I say hoping that it will make him explain further.
"You're not too busy for dinner tomorrow night, right?" he asks and I can hear concern in his voice.
He knows I wasn't listening.
Dinner tomorrow night with Liz and J?
How about? No.
"I have to look over some contracts," I say. "I was going to tell you later, but I'll probably be in the office till late. We can always try another night."
"I can check our schedule," Liz says taking hold of Jason's hand.
So they're dating?
Well, I'm glad at least they stayed loyal to each other.
Okay Abrelle, why are you acting like this?
You weren't like this with Elliot.
Let it go Abrelle.
But then again, I would never have a friendly dinner with Elliot.
That'd be horrible.
"Or you guys can go," I say trying my best to sound casual. "I know you're both probably busy with work and it's been so long since Noah has seen you both. Go to dinner, the three of you, tomorrow and I'll make sure to clear my afternoon for next time."
"You sure?" Liz asks and I can see Noah give me a confusing look, but I nod.
"Yes," I smile. "Go and have fun tomorrow night. We can always hang out another night."
"Okay," Jason smiles. "I'm glad to finally be able to go get some beers with you man."
"Me too," Noah says, his eyes never looking away from me.
***
"Goodnight," Noah says before closing the door and I exhale taking a seat on the couch.
That was a long, long dinner.
"I'm going to bed," Noah says and I can tell he's pissed off.
Here we go.
"Noah," I say annoyed. "What's wrong?"
"What's wrong?" he scoffs. "It's been years since we've seen them and you were completely distant all night."
"What did you expect?" I stand up. "That I would be happy to see them. You do remember what happened, right?"
"Yes," he exhales.
"The last time I saw Liz was during the trial," I say. "Not once did they bother to visit me or write a letter during the six months that I spent in prison. I saw Jason the day of my release and he didn't bother to ask how I was. You remember that, right?"
"I thought we were past this," he runs his hand through his hair.
"We?" I scoff. "There is no we in this situation. They abandoned me, Noah. Not you, not us, but me."
"There is no we," he says, a hurt expression on his face.
Fuck.
"That's not what I meant," I say closing my eyes.
"Yes you did," he says. "You really think you were alone in all of this."
"No," I say looking at him. "You've been there for me and I appreciate that so much, but we have different experiences. You experienced my jail time from outside the cell and I lived it from inside. We lived very different things during those six months and that includes Lisa and Jason."
"I know," he says. "I just assumed you had let it go."
"I did," I say "but that doesn't mean I want to suddenly be friends with them again."
He simply nods and takes a seat on the couch next to me.
"Sometimes I wish we hadn't come back to San Francisco," he frowns.
"This is who I am," I tell him. "Abrelle Louise the head of my company. "
"It doesn't have to be," he looks at me.
"Yes it does," I exhale. "I'd rather die than leave the company to my mother."
"You left it before," he says and I frown.
"That was different," I shake my head. "I was in a bad place when I left and I needed time to recover from everything that happened."
"From Elliot," he speaks.
"Yes," I say truthfully. "He was a part of it, but I never mourned Luis, Nathan, or my dad. Everything just became so real when I was free and I didn't know how to handle it so I ran. . . . Sometimes I wish I had stayed."
"So you wish you hadn't left with me?" he gives me a hurt expression.
"No," I shake my head. "I said that wrong. I wish I hadn't run away from my problems, that I had taken the time to deal with everything."
"Sometimes I feel like we're in different places," he says.
"What do you mean?" I ask and he exhales.
"Are you really ready to do this?" He asks turning towards me and I give him a confused look. "I see my life, my dreams, and aspirations in front of me. Every time I see them, I see you next to me with Nat in your arms. Every time, I see you, Elle...What do you see?"
What do I see?
"I," I start, but the entire mind goes blank. I have no idea what I see or who I see.
I see Nat, I see my company and...
"Right," Noah nods as he stands up and I feel more confused than ever.
"How did we get here Noah?" I ask following him. "We were fighting and then all of a sudden we're talking about the future. How does that make sense?"
"You don't talk to me," he says turning to look at me. "We've talked about Jason and Liz and you never shared what you were feeling. So I invited them thinking everything was fine because you made it seem like it was when we talked about them in New York".
He's right, I never told him how I felt. In fact, I avoided showing how I felt.
"I had to find out you were uncomfortable at the same time they did," he says. "I'm supposed to be your partner, someone you trust. But you don't trust me, not really. . . I mean, I've tried for years Abrelle, to be someone you feel safe with. But nothing I do works and I can't keep doing this".
I do trust him. I mean, I try to trust him.
"What are you saying?" I ask.
"Elle," he says, a painful smile on his face. "I can't feel like I'm the only one who is completely in this relationship. . .You're one foot in and one foot out, you've always been. I knew from the beginning and maybe it's my fault because I wanted it so bad. I thought wanting it enough for the both of us was enough, but it's not enough."
"Noah," I say placing my hands on either side of his face. "I want to be here with you."
"I know," he nods, closing his eyes. "But I also know that a part of you has no idea what they want...Or am I wrong?"
I want to tell him he's wrong, that I'm absolutely certain that he's what I want. That when I look in the future I see him standing next to me.
But, I have no idea what I want. A part of me feels completely lost and unsure about what I feel.
And I hate it.
"Noah," I breathe and he nods, his eyes fighting back tears.
"I know", he leans in kissing the top of my head and I hug him tightly.
God, I hate myself. I hate myself for feeling so confused and overwhelmed.
"I love you, Elle," he says. "I want you to know that."
"I know," I nod releasing him not trusting myself to say anything.
Because a part of me wants to beg him, to beg him to stop. To just give me time to figure myself out, but that's not fair.
"I'm going for a drive," he says. "I'm going to take your car. We can figure the rest tomorrow".
He takes my keys from the counter and starts making his way towards the front of the door.
"Noah," I say and he stops in front of the door.
Please don't leave. Please stay. Please.
The words don't come out. Instead, I smile at him as he stands there.
"Elle," he smiles and then the door opens and he's gone.
And I stand there feeling like I've made a big mistake.
***
"I'll call you back," his voice says before it beeps.
"Noah," I say. "I...um. . . Please come home. It's late and . . .Please."
I hang up.
"Shit," I curse running my hands through my hair.
3:00 a.m.
Damn it, Abrelle.
I pick up my phone and dial the number again.
Ring. Ring. Ring.
"Hi you have reached Noah. I currently cannot pick up the phone, but if you leave your name and number I'll call you back."
I hang up.
I quickly get up from my bed and go towards the living room.
I'm not going to be able to sleep tonight so I might as well watch some television while I wait for him.
He's probably at Jason's house or something.
Crap, what if I call Jason? Or Lisa?
No, he's fine.
He'll come home when he's ready.
I take a seat on the couch and turn the television on.
***
Knock. Knock. Knock.
I open my eyes at the sound and slowly sit up before realizing that the sound is coming from the door.
Noah!
"Coming," I yelled before running towards the door and throwing it open.
"Ms. Louise," I'm greeted by a police officer and I nod.
"Yes," I say. "What's going on?"
"I'm sorry to tell you that there's been an accident," he says and I give him a confused look. "Noah Collins your. . .um."
I suddenly feel my skin go cold and my stomach drop.
"What is going on?" I ask.
"He was in a car accident," the officer says. "You should grab your things and come with us."
No.
A/N: New Chapter!!!
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Love, Pam