POV Kenzie
"So, why are you here today?" the councilor asks crossing her legs. My parents are making me see one now and I just want to be at home sleeping. Her name is Susan or something. "I tried to kill myself." I say shrugging. "Can you tell me why?" she asks. "Cause I hate my life" I say crossing my arms. "Why?" she asks clutching a pen. "Rather not say" I reply coldly. That's pretty much how all of our meetings go. Her asking me questions, and me giving her few word answers.
It's been a month sense I tried to kill myself. Right now, I'm at the top of the stairs listening to my mom talk to my dad. "Susan says she hadn't made any improvement. She hasn't been talking to her." my mom explains. "Maybe putting her into counseling wasn't the best idea. We should listen to what she wants to do. And she obviously doesn't want to be in counseling." my dad argues back. My mom sighs and I can practically see her putting her hand on her forehead. "She needs help." mom says. "But she doesn't want it. You know how stubborn she is." dad says.
I don't listen to the rest. I just go into my room and close the door. My head turns down and looks at my arm covered by my sleeve. I pull it back to look at my now scaring over cut. The stitches got taken out a week or so ago and the doctor said I'll have the scars for my whole life. My fingers run over it and I remember back to the night. All the pain and heartbreak. I took the antidepressants but I got a bad rash from it and stopped taking them. I'm still extremely skinny and I don't look good. I gained a very small amount of weight but nothing much.
Tanner and I have talked a few times and we decided to meet up today. Just to talk things out. So I get on a pair of jeans, a long sleeve navy blue shirt, a black infinity scarf and black vans. Then I brush out my hair and brush my teeth before grabbing my phone, keys and purse. After that I walk down stairs and find my parents in the kitchen. "I'm going out." I say smiling. "Okay. Be home soon." my mom says. I nod and walk out of the house the get into my car and drive to the mall.
Once I get there, anxiety is racking my body. He told me he would be outside the Starbucks in the mall. I walk into the mall and head towards Starbucks. Tanners outside of it, his hair is down and his face pale. He doesn't look to good either. I push my hair over to the side and he looks up and our eyes meet. He meets me halfway and we just stand there, looking at each other. "So, do you want to get something? Or do you just want to go in and sit down?" he asks. "I could use some tea." I say smiling weakly. His lips twitch up and we ushers me into the shop.
Once it's our turn to order I say, "I'll have a Chi Tea latte." The cashier smiles and turns to Tanner. "And what will you have." she asks smiling. "I'm not getting anything." he says. "Okay that will be $3.48." she says. I pull out my wallet but Tanner puts his hand on it. "Im paying." he says taking out his wallet. "No. I am." I say smiling. "No you're not", he says taking my wallet and pulling it in his pocket farthest away from me. I smile, remembering he did the same thing when we first met.
"You guys are adorable. How long have you guys been together?" the cashier asks smiling. "Oh we're not together" I say awkwardly. "Ohh, siblings?" she asks. "No" I say. "Just..." I trail off and look at Tanner. He looks back over at me and nods. "Friends. Just friends." I say turning to her. She nods and takes the money from Tanner. "Well that was awkward." I say after she gives him his change and we walk away to wait for my drink. "Yeah. And who knew we would look like siblings?", he says laughing. "Yeah", I say smiling. I've missed his laugh. "Well it might be the blonde hair but still." he says reaching over to touch my hair.
Then he realizes what he did and pulls away. "I'm sorry." he says looking at his feet. "It's okay. Force of habit." say playing it cool. But in the inside, butterfly's have erupted from my stomach. This boy can still make me feel amazing.
"Chi Tea latte." Someone calls and I go over to and pick it up before we sit down. "Kenzie. I'm so sorry." he says as I take a sip of my tea. "Tan-" he cuts me off. "No. Let me talk. I will do anything to make it up to you. Please just give me another chance. I'm in love with you and I can't loose you." he says taking my hand. "I can't just automatically forgive you. Sorry isn't enough. And no amount of gifts or money or anything won't be enough. You have to earn back my trust. I've just forgiven people in the past because I didn't want to loose them and they just turned around and stabbed me in the back. It sucked Tanner. And it broke my heart when you said that to me. So I can't just pretend you didn't say that because I will always remember it." I say completely serious.
"I know. And I'll earn it back. I promise. I'm not loosing you. You're the best thing to happen to me Kenzie." he says squeezing my hand. "What about your subscribers?" I ask. "Their after you." he says. My heart warms and my cheeks turn red.
"I'll give you a second chance but I want to take things slowly." I say. "Okay." he says pulling his hand away. Now mine feels empty so I close it into a fish and pull it back to my body. "I didn't mean what I said about Josh. He doesn't deserve someone as amazing as you." he says. "I know." I say bringing the cup to my lips. We sit there for a few minutes in silence just looking at each other smiling. I look away and take a sip of my drink.
"I... I think I should get home. My mom wants to keep a close eye on ya know with everything that happened." I say smiling slightly. "I understand. Let me walk you to your car." he says and we stand up then walk out of Starbucks and the mall. Soon enough we get to my car and I turn around to face Tanner. "Well thanks"." I say smiling. "Yeah anytime." he says putting his hands in his pockets. "Would you mind if I looked at your... scars?" he asks. I shake my head and slowly roll up sleeves to my elbows.
He furrows his eyebrows and runs the pads of his fingers across it. The cold nips at my skin and Tanner gently pulls my sleeve back down. "Thank you." he whispers. "For what?." I ask hugging myself. "For giving me a second chance." he says looking at me. "Yeah. Don't blow it." I say unlocking my car. "I won't. I promise." he says turning around and walking away. A sigh escapes my lips and I get into my car and pull out of the malls parking lot.
On the way home, my brain won't shut off. I just keep in thinking. Can I trust him? Will he hurt me again? What will happen when i do trust him? Those thoughts rack my brain until I get home and see another car parked in my spot. "Oh my goooood", I groan parking next to the front lawn. I get out of the car and walk up to the door and walk in. "Who the hell parked in my spo-." trail off once I see my dads boss.. and his god damned son. "Oh. Sorry. I'll be upstairs." I say turning around and running up the stairs.
Once I get to my room I lock the door and drop my purse on the ground. I sit down on my bed and grab my phone with shaky hands. The only person I can think of is Tanner and Quentin. Maybe Quentin can scare Josh or something. I go to our group chat and quickly send them a text.
Me: Guys. Josh is here.
Quentin found out about Josh from Tanner but I didn't care. Quentin and I know a lot about each other and we're really close. I trust him.
Quentin: I'm coming over.
Tanner: Same here. We'll be there soon. Stay calm and hold on.
Feeling better, I set my phone down and lay on my bed, waiting for them to arrive. I hear knocking at my door and I know they can't be here already. "Hello", I yell sitting up. "It's me. Josh." he says from the other side. "Go away." I yell. "I was thinking that we could have some fun. I heard that you and your boyfriend broke up." he says. "We did. And I'm not looking for another relationship." I say as I shakily stand up. "So?" he says. "So get some sense of personal space! Leave me alone!" I yell.
I hear the doorbell ring and I know it's Tanner and Quentin. My dad will get it and send them up. "Kenzie! You have visitors!" my dad yells from down stairs. I open the door and push Josh aside. "Send them up!" I yell back. Quentin is first up the stairs and Tanner behind him. Josh takes a step back and swallows. "I heard that you've been treating my friend badly. And if I hear you hurt her again, I won't be to happy", Quentin says popping his knuckles. "Okay, okay. I won't bother her anymore." he says inching toward the stairs. "Good" Quentin says narrowing his eyes at him.
Josh turns away and walks down the stairs and looks back at us every once and a while. Soon, Tanner pushes his way around Quentin and wraps me in his arms. "I'm so glad you're okay." he says and I hug him back. "Yeah. Me too." I say closing my eyes and smiling slightly. I've missed having his arms wrapped around me. I want to hold him forever. But I know I can't. So right now will have to do.
(A/N)Wasup my peeps? Okay that was a weird way to say hi. Anyways! Hey guys what's going on with you? So here is another update for you beautiful people. Have I ever told you how amazingly lucky I am to have you guys? No? Well I am. You guys keep me going. So I have school starting up again tomorrow and I don't know how busy I'll be this week so maybe only one update but I'm not sure yet. But that's about it so bye for now my loves!💜