Chapter 15 - Just for One Night
Flying in a private jet is a totally different experiance than being crammed in a small plane like a bunch of sardines. I could actually hear myself think, and listen to my music without blasting out my eardrums. Once we were in the air, most of the kids were busy watching a movie on the big screen. I immediately put my headphones in and drifted into my own world. Every few minutes I would fidget in my seat, trying to get comfortable. The dress I was wearing was itchy as hell, and I kept having to remind myself not to lean my head back so I wouldn't ruin my hair.
It took just over an hour for us to land in Florida. As soon as we stepped foot off the plane everything exploded into chaos. As we were whisked away into a limo, I grabbed Arielle's hand. She smiled up at me, practically jumping up and down with excitement. I had told her we were going to a ball like the one Cinderella went to in the movie.
"Are we there yet?" She asked me with the biggest grin.
"Almost," I laughed, ducking to step in the car. I was surprised we all fit inside, this limo somehow seemed smaller than the one that had picked us up in Tennessee. We did fit, though, and we were off. The sun was just barely setting, painting the sky bright orange and pink. Florida was different than Tennessee. I hadn't traveled much in my life, but I had never really thought about how different things could be. Instead of big, open fields, all the streets were lined with big buildings and palm trees.
"It's pretty here," London gasped, eyes glued out the window. It was like she was taking in every single second she could. She had always been the type of girl to like big cities, I had always known one day she would move to Los Angeles or Miami and become a big designer or something. Tonight was for my sisters. Even if it wasn't my scene, I would enjoy it for them.
"Okay you guys," Savanna coughed, gathering our attention. "Remember, tonight is a press event for us. There will be reporters, there will be pictures, so please, I'm begging you, try to keep it together." Her gaze trailed to Ben, making him snort. "Yes son, I am talking to you." That made us all giggle. "I expect all of you to be on your best behavior."
When we pulled up the the Gala, my jaw just about dropped. I'm not even exaggerating when I say there was a red carpet lining the sidewalk all the way from the street, up the steps and into the front doors. I never thought I would've been sitting at the end of one of those, like I was at some fancy movie premier.
One at a time we got out of the car, immediately blinded by flashing lights. People with cameras practically swarmed us, snapping pictures every second. The moment my feet touched the ground I felt self-conscious. Was my hair a mess? Did my makeup smudge? Was my dress wrinkled? All these thoughts flew through my mind as I tried to remind myself not to make any weird faces. To be completely honest, I wanted to dive back into the car and not come back out until the end of the night.
Suddenly, I froze. It was like my feet had just stopped working. All the blinding flashes and people surrounding me shut me down. I could feel my heart racing and my palms starting to sweat. It was hard to breathe. I shut my eyes to try to drown out the sound, but it was as if all the flashes had multiplied. I couldn't even dive back into the car because it had driven away already. And just when I thought I would die of embarrassment, an arm snaked around my waist.
My eyes snapped open as I looked up, coming face to face with non-other than Benjamin Miller. He smiled at me, motioning for us to walk. The roar of people surrounding us still rebounded in my ears, but with Ben leading me I started to walk. The flashes were blinding, and my heart was pounding faster than it ever had before, but something told me with Ben's arm around my waist I was safe.
We finally reached the doors, and I ducked inside like my life depended on it. "That was horrible," I breathed, placing a hand over my heart. Ben chuckled, but grabbed my hip a little tighter so I couldn't walk away.
"You get used to it," he said, smiling. "Come on, let's go sit down." And so he lead me down a huge staircase, which opened up into a huge ballroom. People were dancing in the center of the room, with round tables lining the dace floor. The lights were dimmed, and the music was soft. These people were dressed so nicely even I felt underdressed. Suddenly I was worried I hadn't picked out a nice enough dress and that everyone in this room was going to judge me.
Before I could have a full on panic attack, we arrived at our table. My sisters and the Miller boys were already sitting down, but Savanna and Jason were nowhere in sight. "So what do we do at these types of events?" I asked Ben, crossing my arms. He finally released me so we could take a seat.
"Mostly whatever we want," he shrugged, pulling his phone out of his pocket. "My mom and dad work the room, trying to find new investors and blah, blah, blah. I've never really paid much attention, they just bring us for the publicity."
London, who was sitting next to me, reached out and grabbed my arm. "Isn't this amazing?" she gushed, the biggest smile on her face. "We would've never done anything so fancy or elegant in Alaska."
"It is nice," I smiled back, forcing a small chuckle. All I could think about was making a fool of myself, not how nice everything was. We were small town girls from Alaska, not movies stars used to paparazzi everywhere. It was a good thing the Miller's every day life was not like that, or I wouldn't have lasted a week.
"Can we dance?" Cora asked me, giving me her big, round puppy dog eyes.
"Go have fun!" I exclaimed, "Enjoy yourselves, just stay out of trouble or I'll whoop every one of you." They cheered and hopped out of their seats, practically running to the dance floor. "And watch Arielle!" I yelled after them, hoping they heard me.
"We could dance too you know," Ben told me, holding out his hand. My jaw almost dropped open as I locked eyes with him, stomach clenching. Ben, asking me to dance? My first thought was to make some joke and then walk away. My second was how ridiculous this was. If he got anymore bipolar I would insist he see a doctor.
"I don't know..." I hesitated, rubbing my sweaty hands on my legs.
"Come on Shiloh, you've got nothing to lose and you do not want to sit at this table all night." He grabbed my hand, yanking me to my feet before I had time to answer. I tried to protest with a groan, but if he heard me he ignored it. I was not a good dancer, and I definitely didn't want to step on Ben's toes, not to mention anyone else's. My plan for the night was to stand in a corner and hope no one noticed me, not dance in the center of the room which is exactly where Ben Miller dragged me.
I frowned as he placed a hand on my hip and held my right hand in his. Reluctantly, I placed my left hand on his shoulder and looked at our feet. "Hey," he grunted, making my head snap up to look at him. A smile tugged at his lips, telling me he was trying not to laugh. "Don't look at my feet, just trust me."
"Easier said than done," I joked, making him laugh. This was the Ben that I liked. This was the Ben I could see being one of my best friends. His laugh gave me butterflies, and all I wanted was to see him happy. He was carefree, kind, funny. And then he would put his foot back in his mouth and turn back into the asshole I had come to know. All I could do was enjoy the good moments, and fight back when he pissed me off.
I didn't recognize the song that was playing, but it was soft and slow. Ben pulled me a little closer, where his face was inches from mine, and we started dancing. My eyes locked with his, and I let out a small breath. The look on his face had become serious as he stared at me, as if he was taking in every detail of my face. I wanted to look away, but it was like I was frozen. When his feet moved forward, I moved backwards. When he stepped sideways, so did I. And the whole time I didn't advert my gaze, I could just feel where we could move next.
Suddenly, he spun me, and I lost that connection. For a moment I froze, unsure of what to do next, but painfully aware of all the people that were surrounding us. I only stood there for a second, but it felt like an hour. Ben was still holding on to my fingers, so he pulled my arm. I stumbled slightly, but spun back into him. This time my back was pressed against his chest and my arms crossed, locked into his. I could feel his breath on my ear as we swayed, my cheeks flushing.
"I told you to trust me," he said in my ear, making me look down. He spun me out again, and this time I told myself I wouldn't freeze. Laughing, I spun back, almost tripping once again. My feet got twisted and I fell, but Ben was ready to catch me. His arms went around my waist as I landed on his chest, trying to catch my balance. "Careful," he chuckled, wiping a strand of hair out of my face. My heart skipped a beat as I looked into his sparkling eyes, his hand lingering on my face.
There was that feeling again, that same feeling in my stomach that I had felt that day in the pond. The same look crossed over Ben's face as all emotion seemed to seep out of his smile. He stared at me, gulping. I hated the butterflies that erupted in my stomach, and I hated that maybe I liked that feeling just a little too much. The room and crowd seemed to melt away as I felt his fingers dig into my back slightly, pulling me impossibly closer. His eyes left mine for a split second to flicker down to my lips, and then once again he locked his gaze with mine.
Bad idea, I told myself, and yet I couldn't stop it. It was almost involuntary. My eyes drifted to his lips and I tilted my chin up. We were close, too close. So close our breaths mingled. He tilted his face down as I gripped his suit in my hands, and my eyes fluttered shut.
"Ben and Shiloh," a voice shattered the trance, and I jumped back. My ankle gave out and I fell, landing on my ass in front of everyone. "Oh, there you are," Savanna said, emerging from the crowd. "Honey, what happened?"
"I'm fine," I told her, forcing a smile, "I'm just way too clumsy in heels." I grabbed the hand she offered and pulled myself to my feet.
"Okay..." She trailed off, looking me up and down. "We'll we're trying to get a family picture, come on." My heart was still racing, but I followed Mrs. Miller and avoided eye contact with Ben. That had to quit happening! I told myself I didn't want him, but deep down I knew it wouldn't be the worst thing. Not for the version of Ben that was actually a good person.
Savanna lead us to a corner of the huge room, right in the center of two large staircases that curved up to the same place. Everyone else was already gathered there, talking amongst themselves. A man with a large camera was talking to Jason. He looked close to my age, with dark brown hair that fell across his eyes. "Okay," Jason clapped, smiling at us. "Everyone is here! Let's do this!"
"I'm Andy," the boy with the camera introduced himself, holding out his hand. I shook it, smiling at him.
"Shiloh," I told him before going to line up with the Millers. I went to Cora and London, putting my arms around each of their shoulders. "You girls having fun?"
"Oh my god Shi, the best time!" Cora exclaimed, jumping up and down. "You'll never believe what happened, Savanna intorduced us to-"
"Okay, everyone try to get closer together," Andy called, lifting his camera up. Arielle ran up to me, and I scooped her in my arms. She locked her arms around my neck, squeezing me tight.
"This is like being a princess!" She exclaimed, the biggest smile on my face. I laughed and nodded, giving her a kiss on her cheek. Seeing my sisters so happy is all I had wanted since moving to Tennessee. I had helped them through too many tears and sleepless nights, they deserved all the happiness in the world.
"Okay that's great," Andy told us, "Everyone smile." I smiled as wide as I could, breathing a sigh of relief. The camera flashed three times, and then Andy set his camera by his feet.
"Thank you Andy," Jason said, clapping the photographer on the shoulder. "As always, we appreciate it."
"No problem Mr. Miller," he smiled, shaking his hand.
"Shi," London yelled, making me jump. Cora and London attacked me, throwing their arms around me. "Guess what! Guess what happened!" They let me go and I set Arielle down, grabbing her hand. The look on their faces said it all. Their eyes were so wide I thought they would pop out of their head.
"What did I miss?" I asked, eyes trailing behind them. Ben was walking up the staircase, and suddenly he froze. He looked at me, eyes cold and closed off. I shivered, but forced myself to look back at my sisters. They were more important than Benjamin Miller throwing one of his infamous temper tantrums.
"Savanna introduced us to David Jackson!" Cora exclaimed, clapping her hands together. They both squealed, jumping up and down as they hugged each other.
"Who's that?" I asked, wrinkling my eyebrows.
"You have to be kidding," London gasped, freezing. "Only one of the biggest directors in Hollywood right now! And guess what"
"You keep telling me to guess what but I still don't know," I laughed at them, shaking my head.
They looked at each other, and then look at me, and together they shouted, "We get to audition for a movie!" Jumping, they grabbed me and Arielle and started bouncing. "Can you believe this?"
"Wow," I said, jumping along with them. "That's so cool." In my head, I was confused. Why would a big shot director promise two nobodies from Alaska an audition for a movie? It didn't make sense, and I could tell they were already getting their hopes up.
"Savanna says he owes her a favor," London explained, finally standing still. "But I'm just so excited. Being in a movie would be so cool."
"Can you imagine?" Cora asked, a huge smile on her face. "Us, all three of us, becoming actresses?"
"Hold on," I paused, holding up a hand. They were still smiling widely at me, practically bursting. "No one said anything about me."
Immediately, some of the excitement drained from them. "Come on," Cora poured, sticking out her bottom lip. "We'll do this all together"
"Yeah," London chimed in, grabbing my free hand. "It'll be so much fun. Besides, we know it's just an audition and it'll probably go nowhere. We can just have fun doing something together as sisters. We need something like that."
"I think you should do it," Arielle said, making me look down at her. "I'll be your cheerleader! You can do it Shi!" Their eager faces looked at me, making me squirm. This was the last thing I would've considered fun, but how could I say no to them?
"I'll think about it," I told them, making them squeak in excitement. They hugged me again and I smiled. I would do anything to make sure they were safe and happy. "You guys should go check out that dessert table, I saw it earlier and it looked pretty cool."
"You're the best," Cora told me, giving me one last squeeze. "Come on girls, lets go see what the rich and famous eat for dessert." As I watched them walk away, my thoughts wondered to Ben. How could he be mad at me? What had I done? It seemed like no matter what I did, he always found a way to blame me.
It took everything in me to go and look for him, determined to give him a piece of my mind. I was tired of being his punching bag; it wasn't fair and I certainly didn't deserve it. He had to stop being hot and cold with me! If he wanted to be an ass, fine, I could live with that. If he wanted to be the sweet Ben, even better. At least that's what I told myself as I walked up that staircase.
I found him on a balcony that overlooked the city. It was pretty in the day, but even more beautiful at night. I could see all the lights, and if I looked close enough I could see the ocean just beyond all the buildings. Ben was leaning against the railing, cigarette hanging out of his mouth. His head was ducked, and he hadn't heard me open the glass door and step outside. Taking a deep breath, I began to speak my mind. "Benjamin Miller," I started, coughing when my voice came out shaky. "You're a dick."
His back stiffened as he turned to face me, allowing the cigarette to fall to the ground. "Excuse me?" He asked, tilting his head to the side.
"You're always mad at me!" I exclaimed, running a hand across my forehead. I was frustrated. "No matter what I do, it's wrong. Why do you hate me? Why did you give me that look a few minutes ago? Huh? I get it, I came into your life and I'm "stealing" your family or something but I didn't choose this." Ben had an amused smile on his face, which only made me more angry. "And now this is funny? Oh, this is great."
"No please, go on," he laughed, taking a step forward. When I rose an eyebrow, he wiped the smile away.
"I'm being serious! Pick a side, Ben. One minute you're being nice to me and one minute I'm a bitch. I'm okay with both, but for gods sake pick! I'm tired of this hot and cold shit. You aren't special. You have no right to act all high and mighty, like you own the place with your arrogant, self-centered, selfish-" and in a split second he closed the space between us and crashed his lips to mine.
It was like time froze as I sucked in a breath. His lips moved against mine, and without even thinking I kissed him back. It was like a reflex I had no control over it. My eyes fluttered shut and I wrapped my arms around his neck, standing on my tip toes. He tasted like cigarettes, but for some reason I didn't mind. I don't know how long we stayed like that, but I didn't want to pull away. That feeling in my stomach had just been amplified by a million, and I couldn't stop smiling against his lips.
When he finally pulled away he leaned his forehead against mine, looking me in the eyes. "Just for one night, I thought I'd try to get the girl," he finally said, voice low and raspy. With a weak smile he let me go and walked away, leaving me alone on the balcony with my heart racing. My heart told me to chase after him, but my mind told me to let him go. Instead I leaned on the railing and looked out over the city, letting out a breath I didn't know I had been holding. Benjamin Miller was a puzzle, and I had yet to connect even just one piece.