Warning: may involve self harm and distressing scenes. Read if you feel up for it
Jess xx
It's been a few days since I arrived on the unit, it's alright I guess but I miss home, we're not allowed internet here so I can't even FaceTime mum and dad, or even watch the vlogs which is so not fair, I want to stay caught up with what their doing. Another downside is we're not allowed our phones for texting and stuff, the only thing we're allowed it for is our music, luckily I can have my music, without it I would be a mess.
I've sorta spoken to a few people here but not like a full blown conversation, I've started to get along with two people, a girl and boy also known as Heidi and Josh, Heidi is a year older than me and Josh is younger but age doesn't matter, a friend is a friend. Nebraska and Tom have apparently been asking how I am since I've been on the phone to mum and dad. Today is another day of not leaving the unit, assignments and probably starting my meds, I'm on a one-to-one at the moment since I'm on red risk, not that I would go out with them, they can't be trusted, not yet anyway.
I hadn't slept well again last night so at around 11am I woke up for the billionth time and sighed. Usually we would have to be out our room from ten till four but since I'm still settling in the rules have kinda been bent for me. I climbed out of bed and went straight to the bathroom where I grabbed a shower, got out and dried and immediately got dressed into the outfit I had chosen only fifteen minutes before hand.
I pulled on my underwear with a pair of black leggings, a light pink tank top with a girly pineapple on the middle, and a pair of watermelon socks. I went back into the room I was in and pulled on my black hoodie with white drawstrings, pulling my hood up after I had pulled my hair into a high ponytail. I clipped a pair of 'mini mouse' bow earrings into my ears and clipped my white wrist watch to my right wrist. Finally I pushed my pink earrings into my years and changed my phone case to a black 'Music Is The Answer' case which I plugged my headphones into and pressed play on my music
Once I was dressed I decided it was time to leave my room, did I want to? No!. "Elizabeth you alright?" My friend Heidi asked as I stood in the door way of the bedroom, the truth was no I wasn't alright but I have to be if I want to get home. I simply nodded with many eyes fixed to the floor. Nicole one of the support workers here finally saw us and stopped me "Elizabeth, Ward round is going on and we have to speak to you for your assessment" she smiled, I didn't really like Nicole but I guess it was fine she came to get me.
I followed Nicole down the corridor, and through a door past the main office which I wished I could leave through. We continued through the next door which had to have a key throb to let us through. I followed Nicole to the meeting room where all the Ward round is always held, well from what I've heard from Heidi. It was busy in heat and I felt really awkward and scared.
My eyes were fixed on the floor as they continued speaking and I tried to catch up with what they were saying but I honestly don't think I ever did and still haven't caught up. "Elizabeth, could you tell us how you feel in yourself?" Someone asks, I honestly can't remember who she is, I think she's one of the main doctors, don't hold me to that though.
"Fine" I responded to them talking while I looked to my right where the figure was stood, I was listening to him and what he was saying. 'Don't trust them' and 'their going to let the others in' were two of the main things the figure is telling me and began to rub my arm frantically causing a friction burn "stop Elizabeth" Nicole tells me but I was focused on the figure, j was then restrained to stop me from hurting myself any more
The assessment was straight after my Ward round but it wasn't in the same room. I didn't understand some things which were going on but surely they should have explained it in simpler terms; I mean I'm not a doctor I don't understand all these terms that are being used. It was so confusing.
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Finally I was allowed back to my room, I sat on my bed listening to music and wanting to go home. It was lunch time but I wasn't going to go and eat anything, I'm too fat, I'm ugly and I don't need to put any weight on. Their was a knock at my door and then someone opened it it was my main support worker Chloe "are you coming for lunch?" She asked and I shook my head. I thought I was in one-to-one but I guess I've gone up to either fifteen minutes, half an hour or hourly checks, I am just going to have to figure it out myself
I guess lunch was soon over because their was another knock at the door so I walked to the door with my headphones in and looked out, Heidi and Josh were stood by the door "want to come to the quite lounge and watch a film with us?" Josh asked me and I shrugged "come on, it will just be us three" Heidi tried to persuade me to join them, I wasn't ready to socialise fully. "What are we going to watch?" I asked in a soft and quite tone "Harry Potter and the Order of Phoenix, it's our favourite out of all the Harry Potter movies" Heidi smiled and I grinned slightly "mine too" I added to the conversation.
I joined them going to the quite lounge where I was stopped a minute by Chloe and the doctor who I now know her name to be Tami "we got you a Tangle, thought it might help with when your anxious" Tami told me and I nodded slowly as she hands me the tangle and I then join Josh and Heidi in the lounge
Emilia's POV
Elizabeth hasn't been around in a while and I miss her, she's my big sister, I didn't really understand why she wasn't home so I guess I have to ask mummy and daddy but after school. I can't ask them now since I'm in school
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School finished and Mummy came to pick me up "how was school princess?" Mummy asked me as she helped me with my seat belt when I was sat comfortably in my car seat. "It was fun, we did some drawing too" I grinned happily showing my drawing which was meant to be me and Elizabeth "that's great Em" mummy smiled looking at my picture. "It's me and Elizabeth" I smiled widely "I love it princess" mummy smiled.
"Mummy can I give it to her?" I asked mum as she looked like she was unsure "we will talk about this when we get home, alright, I think you and Wardo deserve to know what's going on" mummy smiled softly making me believe something was going on, something that isn't good. Mum got into the drivers seat and we were soon heading home. We got stuck at some traffic lights where their was some sort of work going on which annoyed me, I wanted to know where Elizabeth was, I miss my sister so much.
Once we were at home mummy sent me to get dressed and then told me to go and play for a minute so I obeyed her. I was soon dressed in a simple t-shirt and a pair of leggings before I went downstairs and played with my toys with Eduardo too.
Anna's POV
I've hated lying to the kids but we weren't sure how to explain things to them so they understood, and we didn't want it on the vlogs, not until Eliza is ready for it to be on them, I sent Emilia to get dressed and play while I talked to Jonathan
"We've got to tell Emilia and Eduardo about, Eliza. Emilia wants to know I can tell and we can't keep on lying to her about where she is" I told my husband while grabbing myself a bottle of water "your right, they need to know that their sister isn't going to be home for awhile and we will be visiting her where she is" Jonathan agreed with me which I was glad about.
Half an hour after arriving home with Emilia we called the kids to sit down "I think it's time we tell you where your sister is" Jonathan began as we sit either end of the kitchen table with both Emilia and Eduardo on their own chairs "is she poorly?" Emilia asked us and we nodded "yes she is princess. Her head is poorly at the moment and she is somewhere she will get the help with it" I began unsure how to explain what was wrong since we don't technically know what is wrong with her "but why she not coming home?" Eduardo asked sweetly.
"Well she's not coming home because where she is staying they need to watch her, understand why her head is poorly so they can help her" Jonathan adds on to our explanation "when can we see Essie, I miss her" Emilia asked softly and I could see tears in her eyes "we can go and visit on Saturday, you could take your picture to show her" I smiled to my youngest daughter. "I miss her home, her playing with me and Wardo" Emilia softly spoke as the tears which were in her eyes began rolling down her cheeks.
I really wish I could help with the explaining more but I can't and neither can Jonathan, we would if we could but we haven't got a diagnosis yet or any answers
A/N
Hi guys
I hope you enjoyed this chapter because I enjoyed writing it for you guess. I just wish I could put more detail into the chapters which will be coming up but I don't know about that yet so please just bear with me.
Bye
Love you all
Remember to stay strong
Jess xx