Quinn
{' Love is a decision, it is a judgment, it is a promise. If love were only a feeling, there would be no basis for the promise to love each other forever. A feeling comes and it may go. How can I judge that it will stay forever when my act does not involve judgment and decision?'}
I released out a huge breath and looked at myself in the mirror. I was pretty nervous about this date as well as I was excited thinking about spending the whole night with my gorgeous girlfriend.
My blonde hair was in a tangled beautiful mess which Khloe curled a while ago. It was a surprise that she expertly was able to make a smooth waterfall braid on the back of my head. I twisted around to see how my dress shrouded wonderfully around me as I wore the gold and black vintage dress that ended above my knees while a pair of Campbell clear glass heels with black leather strap was securing my feet.
I sighed again to calm my heart from pounding but it didn't help. I gazed at myself and took the blush on and brushed more on my already rosy cheekbones. After I placed the brush on my makeup desk, I spun and started to pace around my room. And then I checked myself again in the mirror.
The dress was okay. My makeup was already done and I'd already put the necessary things in my pouch. I wandered around again and then I stopped, remembering I have to bring my camera with us so I skipped to take out the camera, placing its strap over my shoulder.
A knock on my door made me turned around and Khloe walked in, staring at me smiling.
"Aww, I remember when you sneaked in with me at the Halloween party. You're so lovely."
I shook my head. "That night wasn't a pleasant memory though."
"I know," Khloe said. "Even so, you look very beautiful tonight that I might kiss you."
I pulled a dismayed face. "Stop that! You're disgusting."
My sister laughed and clung to my arms. "I'm just kidding. I just want you to relax. You look nervous."
"I am very nervous. This is Risa, you know."
"Yeah, right. The Risa you're constantly perverting each day. The Risa in the photo album you were drooling over whenever you're in a kinky mood. The Risa you were stalking every wet dream at night."
I gasped in disbelief and slapped her arms. "That's not true."
My sister laughed wholeheartedly and then she suddenly pulled her lower lip up to pout. "I'll miss you again."
I smiled weakly and hugged her tight. "I'm going to miss you too."
"I hope Arisa gives you the best night."
"It's already the best because of you," I said as I pulled away. "And I'm sure she'll make it perfect."
"She better be or I'll kick her ass," my sister said, pumping her fist.
I laughed at my heart content before our doorbell chimed suddenly indicating that my date was waiting outside now.
My sister and I stared at each other and then she smirked at me. "I think this is the time that I should do my part as your sister. I'll go downstairs to open the door while you go get your things and in my signal, remember and always remember that you have to walk down the stairs dramatically as a princess should be. Do you understand me?"
I nodded twice before I even got what she said. "W-What?!"
"Whatever," Khloe muttered and she hastily walked out of my room.
I inhaled and exhaled a deep breath before getting my things and myself together. I could hear their mumbling downstairs and I felt more excited and nervous.
"Okay, calm down. This is not like the first time you got your therapy. I'm sure everything will run smoothly like a perfect date should be," I told myself and opened the door as I heard my sister call from downstairs.
Dramatically, I skipped each stair and once I reached the bottom, I saw her gazing fixedly at me as I did. I took in how she looks as her silver floral dress covered her glorious body. Each strand of hair was a nightingale as it draped over her sophisticated chest. I could stare all day and all night with her lovely face and heavenly eyes that could bring colors into my whole existence. Just seeing her tonight made all those painful days and agonizing memories turned into complete perfectness. I couldn't ask for more because she was so faultless that it made me feel like I didn't deserve everything coming from her.
I heard my sister cleared her throat. "Ummmm... It's been a couple of minutes. Saying hello to each other is a good start, you know."
I snapped out from the fantasy in front of me and took my sister's advice. "H-hello."
"H-H-hi," Risa stuttered that much so my sister and I chuckled together. It turned out that I wasn't the only one who was nervous tonight.
Risa blushed in red and said, "Y-you look beautiful tonight. I-I mean... Of course, you are beautiful every day but tonight you're beautiful-ler. No! What I mean is you're more beautiful tonight."
I smiled dearly at my girlfriend. "You are beautiful."
"Ummm... Let's go?" she said and offered her hand out so I held it together with mine.
"Enjoy, lovers," Khloe said as we walked outside together, holding hands. We said our goodbyes to my sister and skipped together in her cute black beetle car.
Risa led me to the passenger seat before she ran over to sit on the other side of the car. She looked at me and smiled weakly. "Sorry, I'm r-really nervous right now."
I leaned forward and cupped her face. Stroking her cheek lightly, I kissed her softly on her lips. "Your loveliness is what makes me nervous. It can make my heart race a thousand faster."
"That's not helping," Risa said, "You're making me more nervous."
"I'm nervous too."
.........
"Ready?" Risa asked as she pulled her car and I nodded. Her voice sounded like she couldn't contain anything anymore. Obviously, she was excited like me. The feeling was somewhat bizarre and it made me curious about the mystery. This wasn't my first date. I'd done this before yet it was one of my dreams come true.
Looking ahead, I gazed at the beach view. There was a house facing the seashore and I think it was made for summer vacation. Although this place was an hour away from our school, I felt secure and safe in here. As the afternoon sun gazed back at me, it was giving a warm sensation within me.
"Your hand, my lady?" I heard Risa asked and I didn't realize she was already sprinted over to guide me while she was offering her hand out.
I laughed and held her hand. "This is so much for a surprise. I've already loved the beach. What more if I go there with you?"
"Then you'll love it even more," she said and kissed my hand. That simple affection from her was giving me bliss but at the same time, a tiny sting inside me sought my attention. I hastily brushed the thought aside as I followed her out of the car.
She pulled me excitedly to the house and once we were in front of the door, she stopped and turned around. "Come here."
Risa hugged me from behind and then kissed me on my cheek before she covered my eyes. I could see nothing and it gave me a gut feeling so I spoke, "What are you doing?"
I heard her giggled. "Of course. This is a surprise so I have to cover your eyes. Don't peek, okay?"
I frowned. I couldn't even do anything while I didn't have my sight. I was happy about this surprise stuff but I couldn't help myself to feel nervous about this. I tried to walk as much as I could and attempted to feel the surroundings but it was too impossible. She didn't know what my condition was so I didn't have the right to complain.
"Hey, where are you going?" I heard her say.
"Then lead me."
"Okay... Stop right here," she muttered. "Ready?"
I nodded again and slowly, she uncovered my eyes to expose what she had prepared for us. The sudden fear subsided so fast as I looked at the sea over the veranda.
All light was gleaming everywhere as it twinkled through my sight. All glowed in warmness as I escaped to midsummer paradise. As my glance took in the room, my heart swelled in admiration. Petals of white roses scattered on the floor, glasses of lighted candles were placed all around the surface, and bouquets of flowers were all around the corner. A beautiful fragrance danced into my nostrils as my gaze rested upon a cute bell tent at the side of the room and inside were full of heart pillows and a starlight projector rotating playfully with shadows.
"Hmmm... I think I know what you're planning," I said and turned to my sweet girlfriend.
Risa blushed and then asked, "D-Do you like it?
I looked in her sky eyes, letting out a wholehearted smile. "I love it."
She smiled back at me and I leaned forward to give her a peck on her flushed cheek. In a brief moment, we only stared at each other eyes before she snapped out of it and led me inside the tent.
"Wait here," she said and lighted the fireplace outside. I sat and I realized that the tent was facing the west as I looked ahead in the sun. Its tip was almost touching the auburn horizon and it reminded me of when my grandmother took me to her beach house back in my old home.
"Risa?"
"Hmmmmm?" she responded as she turned on the music and a mild piano piece played around.
I smiled at how elegant she was. "How did you come with all of this?"
She sat beside me and wrapped me inside her arms. "Mostly, I got the ideas but my Mom helped me cook our dinner for tonight. She also chose the wine for us. I hope you'll like it."
I melt into her arms and said softly, "Really? You cooked for us? Then I love it already."
She kissed my head. "After the sunset, w-we can watch movies while we eat dinner, or do you prefer to eat first, have some wine, and chat before we sleep together?"
I giggled as she flustered. "Relax, gorgeous. You've already done this perfect setup. It's so wonderful. How about we watch while we eat?"
"Okay," she said, pulling me closer as we watched the sun slowly sleeping down over the broad horizon.
"And what do you mean by sleeping together?" I asked, turning up to look at her blushing face.
"I mean s-s-spending that night together until we sleep," she answered, just looking at the sun before us before she sighed and rested her eyes on me. "I'm not going to force you if you're not ready. We'll just sleep if you really don't want to do it."
I smiled at her and rained kisses on her face. "Do you know how adorable you are?"
"You are adorable," my girlfriend said, hugging me tighter. "A talented teaser. And a skillful stalker if I may add."
I laughed out loud at what she'd called me. "Because you're gorgeous and I love you."
She grinned at me as her hands rubbed my tummy soothingly. "And I love you too."
A silence came between us but it was warm and tender as the sun finally hid before us. The night started to say its greetings and the stars hanged brightly in the sky. The sound of the burning log with the resonance of sweet melody played together around us. It was so serene and calm against our beating heart. All I could feel was the dance of my heart inside me while I spent the night with the girl I've always wanted to meet and dreamed of.
"Guess what?" Risa asked out of the blue.
"What?"
"I think I finally remember little things when you came to meet me at our school Halloween party."
"Really?" I said, snuggling closer to her. "And what do you remember?"
"I-I remember standing over the stage while I was staring at someone who was wearing a golden dress and mask."
"That's all?"
"Yup, that's all and I think you were so beautiful even if you had a mask on," she said, gazing down at me. "And I'm really glad I met you even if it wasn't that good for your part."
"For both of us," I countered and then said, "Let's eat?"
She nodded, standing up, and went over to the table full of covered foods. All sets of food were prepared and I was too eager to taste it because, for the first time, she cooked for me. She even had a bunch of candies and chocolates for me because she knew I would love it.
The rest of the night continued in bliss as we ate this special dinner she had prepared for me while watching a fantasy film. We chatted and cuddled together, giving each other kisses all over. Each time passing by was like a reverie.
As I sipped my red wine lightly, Risa suddenly placed her glass down. She turned to me with solemnity in her face like she was going to propose anytime. Snatching my glass from me, she put it down the table without letting her eyes wander from mine.
She took a deep breath and held my hand together with hers. "I-I know I'm not really a perfect girlfriend as everybody knows and sometimes, I may be harsh to everyone and judge people from how they are lower than me but I promise that I will try my best to be a better person for you. I know it's taboo to say this but I'm really worried about your leaving. Not that I don't trust you or anything but I just want you to know that I'll miss you every second without you in my sight and will always think of you whenever you're not in my arms. And especially, I will love you even more than I have loved you yesterday. But can you promise not to let go no matter what happen to us from this day on?"
I was taken aback by her speech and my heart pounded more from the heartfelt gaze she was giving me. I could tell she was honest and truthful about this. More than I'd ever been. Looking at her, I smiled and let out the word like I really meant it, "Yes, I promise with all my heart."
She smiled, showing her perfect white teeth and a single tear escaped from her eye. It was like the raindrop from the sky that frayed my heart since my parents died. But this time, instead of making me feel sad, the owner of the single drop became part of my crumbling world.
Reaching her face, I wiped it from her cheek as if there was somebody else who is taking it away from me. I made her teardrop be mine and only mine and I didn't want everybody else to see it but only me.
She kissed me on my forehead saying, "Thank you."
Pulling away, she suddenly took something from her pouch. She revealed a white gold necklace to me and I was surprised by how it looked so stunning. It was a necklace with an adorable butterfly wings pendant.
"This is how you make me feel, Quinn," Risa told me lovingly. "Would you accept it?"
With a wide smile, I nodded and let her put it around my neck. Once she was done, I caressed the pendant over my chest and looked at it with happiness. "This is beautiful. Thank you."
She embraced me tight and securely, "I'm glad you like it."
"I love it, Arisa Gail Valentine," I declared, pressing my lips against her.
Once we pulled away together, our eyes glued intensely to each other. For countless times, I slowly let myself into her kiss, revealing the weakness I have yet to utter. Her taste was so alluring as I flew deep into my darkness. It was wonderful darkness.
Hearing her moaned, I backed away carefully and looked into her eyes saying I would give her all my strengths and weaknesses. She smiled so dreamily and pulled me impossibly closer to her.
Nibbling her neck, I started to caress her body all over even though I couldn't feel how smooth her skin was against mine. As long as I could give her the pleasure of my love, I wouldn't mind suffering within. As long I could make love to her in my best state, I wouldn't mind giving myself solely to her even if it's so painful for my part.
I gently laid her in the soft mattress, never letting my eyes lose from her own loving heavenly one. Hovering above her, I caressed her desirable cheek and kissed her on her lips.
"Quinn?" she murmured delicately.
"Yes?" I responded back, nibbling the back of her ear.
"Are you sure you're just not teasing me?" she asked out of the blue, causing me to laugh in response.
"No, Risa. I'm not just teasing you." I smirked and she blushed adorably under me.
I kissed her once again but this time it was more deep and passionate. I moved down to suck her chin lightly and licked her neck all the way up which made her shiver in pleasure.
Carefully, I undressed her until she no longer had a thing to conceal from me. Each curve and point of her body formed like a celestial astrology art in the universe. The creamy of her skin made me feel like I could not attain her more than tonight like it was a precious feature of her that hid like a gem under her dress. It was like a light under her dark charming hair flowing down above her shoulder.
She was so beautiful that I never wanted to blemish her tonight. Even so, I knew I wanted more of her under this night sky while the romantic lights watched us making love like there was no longer a hopeful tomorrow.
Each kiss I gave was ecstasy for me as I listened to her repeated moans while I touched all of hers that I wished to be mine evermore. Every shake of her breast grew my heart stronger and fonder as I bent down to consumed her nipple between my lips. I devoured her hard yet carefully against my already exposed body. Joining her into a priceless moment I would remember forever until the rest of my dying time.
Touching her sensitive part, I almost died from how she escaped a breathtaking moan while saying my name. I continued to caress her delicate blossom while kissing her deeply in her lips to mask her moan. Every rock of our joined body was like a dance of the century. The taste of her was like an enigma of her beauty. It was endless and it gave me the essence of complete indulgence.
Not taking it anymore, I consumed her wet bud selfishly into my mouth. Her nectar tasted like honey, bursting deliciously into my tongue and I wanted more and more. Her moan got louder and louder as I licked her deeper and deeper, exploring her inside like it was an adventure I could only have once in my lifetime. I could engulf her endlessly without ceasing as she squirmed in my mouth.
I felt her insides tightened as I continued to give her pleasure until she screamed, reaching the climax, arching her body elegantly. I never wasted anything as I devoured all of her, cleaning her sensitive part delicately. She was trembling while panting heavily so I embraced her into my arms.
Kissing her head, I spoke softly in her ears, "You are amazing."
A red tint painted on her cheeks as she gazed at me passionately. "I love you so much, Quinn."
I smiled wholeheartedly, pecking her lips. "And I love you too, Risa. More than you can ever dream."
That night we made love repeatedly until we fell into each other arms. I was contented and happy with all my heart. However, I knew that almost anything I gave her tonight was a deep lie. The night became broad as the guilt stomped my heart. I knew better that I had to break my secret to her but I wasn't able to tell her how freak I am because of how perfect all of this moment.
I didn't want to ruin everything and I realized I was so selfish. I didn't know if she can accept my condition but not telling her was not enough reason that I really don't deserve her love and kindness.
From the start, I ruined everything and it was getting deeper into the crack of my own abnormality. I wanted her. I needed her. I loved her but within me, I knew that it had to stop. I had to take away my selfishness before I hurt her heart.
However, I knew it was too late. I promised her that I wouldn't let her go no matter what but here I was, gazing at her sleeping face as she snuggled in my arms. Stroking her hair, carefully not waking her up, kissing her head lightly, and uttered the words I would never want to let out even in my dreams.
Once a drop of tear fell into her cheek, in boundless sorrow, I whispered, "Farewell, my love."
........